favorite new site to abuse @ work[views:20958][posts:119]_________________________________ [May 12,2009 3:31pm - oscarct ""] http://www.textsfromlastnight.com |
| ______________________________ [May 12,2009 3:33pm - Yeti ""] hahahaha that's so weird you posted that, i was just reading the most recent ones. |
| _________________________________ [May 12,2009 3:38pm - oscarct ""] shit is amazing. |
| _________________________________ [May 12,2009 3:39pm - RustyPS ""] "(203): I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard. (203): needless to say I left" "(340): just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?" .....I'm already hooked |
| _________________________________ [May 12,2009 3:41pm - oscarct ""] (925): i think i just met the girl of my dreams. someone made a serious statement about rape and she said "pish posh, i love surprise sex" |
| _________________________________ [May 12,2009 3:44pm - RustyPS ""] (914): I faked an abortion last night. ....stunning |
| _______________________________ [May 12,2009 3:44pm - Murph ""] (949): Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth? (619): hahahahahahahahahahaha That has been my favorite post on there, ever. WHERE DO BABBY COM FRUM? |
| _________________________________ [May 12,2009 3:53pm - RustyPS ""] (630): My bed smells like naked (414): Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes this site is gold...thank you oscar |
| ___________________________________ [May 12,2009 3:55pm - dreadkill ""] pish posh |
| ______________________________________ [May 12,2009 3:58pm - joeyumbrella ""] (850): come over anyways, right now, right this second (850): it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying (561): wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation |
| _________________________________ [May 12,2009 4:03pm - RustyPS ""] (818): Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong... (714): Didn't you just get a DUI last week? (818): Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it |
| _______________________________ [May 12,2009 4:03pm - Murph ""] (214): dude. I'm so drunk. (972): pete, this is bryce's mom (214): I can't wait to have my cock in your ass (972): pete, this is still bryce's mom an oldie, but goodie. I fear this site might start to suck because of how popular it's become recently (and usually those who catch on late are the people who make things once cool start to blow) but there is hope in the fact that booze and life's inherent awkwardness continually provide fodder for ridiculous conversation and discourse. |
| _________________________________ [May 12,2009 4:13pm - RustyPS ""] (484): What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips? (610): Which ones? |
| _________________________________ [May 12,2009 4:17pm - RustyPS ""] (434): There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically. WE'RE NOT WORTHY |
| ______________________________ [May 12,2009 4:36pm - guy ""] (519): dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto. and (519): dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto. lulz!! |
| ___________________________________ [May 12,2009 7:29pm - demondave ""] (845): I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred. |
| ______________________________________ [May 12,2009 8:24pm - the_reverend ""] it's impossible that I don't have at least a couple texts on this site. some of my txt are the stuff of legends. |
| _________________________________ [May 13,2009 7:50am - oscarct ""] the_reverend said:some of my txt are the stuff of legends. not true unless on this site |
| ______________________________________ [May 13,2009 8:00am - goatcatalyst ""] This is golden and beautiful. Thank you, Oscar. |
| _________________________________ [May 13,2009 8:21am - RustyPS ""] (954): You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom? (619): just caught grandpa beating off in the living room |
| ____________________________________________ [May 13,2009 10:07am - FuckIsMySignature ""] this is amazing |
| ____________________________________________ [May 13,2009 10:11am - FuckIsMySignature ""] "After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background? " |
| _________________________________ [May 13,2009 1:23pm - oscarct ""] (312): omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies (815): Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more. |
| _________________________________ [May 13,2009 1:49pm - RustyPS ""] (248): wat u doin (1-248): Its 3:34 AM, what do you think I'm doing? SLEEPING. what are YOU doing is the question.. (248): Oh tight im jus chillin, how u been (1-248): I'm going to save you some time, I'm not coming over to engage in high risk sex with you. (248): Oh its like that? (248): hater |
| _________________________________ [May 13,2009 1:58pm - RustyPS ""] (248): Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up? (312): It's worth it. (248): How worth it? (312): Back door worth it ....wow this site is hours of entertainment |
| _________________________________ [May 13,2009 2:23pm - oscarct ""] (636): I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani |
| _________________________________ [May 13,2009 4:02pm - RustyPS ""] (919): Well douche your snatch and let's go! |
| ___________________________________________ [May 14,2009 12:13am - douchebag_patrol ""] (902): and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted. |
| ___________________________________________ [May 14,2009 12:13am - douchebag_patrol ""] (619): just caught grandpa beating off in the living room |
| _________________________________ [May 14,2009 7:44am - oscarct ""] (443): they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field" |
| _________________________________ [May 14,2009 7:46am - oscarct ""] (323): Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though. (562): The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt (323): fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me |
| ______________________________ [May 14,2009 8:03am - Yeti ""] (919): so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog. hahahahahaha |
| _________________________________ [May 14,2009 8:22am - RustyPS ""] (413): Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative.. |
| _____________________________________________ [May 14,2009 8:30am - MarkFuckingRichards ""] If only I still had the text from Dave Maggot that read, "I think I'm going to stop drinking. Keep this between you and me...I shit in my hamper last night." |
| _________________________________ [May 14,2009 8:33am - RustyPS ""] (206): She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe. |
| _________________________________ [May 14,2009 8:34am - RustyPS ""] MarkFuckingRichards said:If only I still had the text from Dave Maggot that read, "I think I'm going to stop drinking. Keep this between you and me...I shit in my hamper last night." HAHAH!!! oh Dave |
| _________________________________________ [May 14,2009 10:24am - DestroyYouAlot ""] lol @ (845): I feel like our house is getting pulled over. |
| _________________________________________ [May 14,2009 10:24am - DestroyYouAlot ""] (570): why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds? (1-570): you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911 |
| _________________________________________ [May 14,2009 10:25am - DestroyYouAlot ""] (224): Awesome. Ask her out. (815): Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her. SHEER BRILLIANCE |
| __________________________________ [May 14,2009 11:59am - RustyPS ""] (903): I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion. absolutely amazing |
| _________________________________ [May 15,2009 1:02pm - oscarct ""] (604): I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary. |
| ______________________________ [May 15,2009 1:23pm - Yeti ""] (512): i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT. |
| ______________________________ [May 15,2009 1:23pm - Yeti ""] (312): She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon! |
| _________________________________ [May 15,2009 1:32pm - RustyPS ""] (203): How did you manage that? (860): Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis (203): lol... jersey girls rock |
| _________________________________ [May 15,2009 1:36pm - RustyPS ""] (403): she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that. |
| ______________________________________ [May 15,2009 1:44pm - the_reverend ""] (402): I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card. |
| _____________________________________ [May 15,2009 1:47pm - xanonymousx ""] is the (#) the area code? |
| ______________________________________ [May 15,2009 1:55pm - the_reverend ""] if you went to that site you would know. |
| ______________________________________ [May 15,2009 1:56pm - the_reverend ""] "(540): Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting. " - Rich Horror |
| ______________________________________ [May 15,2009 1:57pm - the_reverend ""] "(203): i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA" - Josh Martin on tour |