WHY METAL FAGS LOVE DRAMA[views:11042][posts:46]________________________________ [Nov 5,2013 12:19pm - Robing ""] The last week or so has been fairly heavy in metal drama. Deicide and Broken Hope had a dust-up over each other’s alleged tour misbehavior, which has since blown over. Meanwhile, Blake Judd (of Nachtmystium)’s prison storyline came to its end with his release. Judd took the opportunity to promise atonement for his much-publicized sins and to take a pot shot at Hells Headbangers for selling the t-shirt pictured above. He also announced that he is likely to fold his band after one more album, because it has been a “catalyst for chaos” in his life. Now, aside from Judd announcing that Nachtmystium will probably end after another album, this kind of stuff does not strike me as especially meaty news. But I covered it, as did countless other metal writers, because we knew people would read it. Whenever you write about such subject matter, you virtually ensure that at least one commenter will take you to task for running “click bait.” (Ironically, commenting on a blog post to call it “click bait” drives more traffic to it, which reinforces the incentive to write those posts in the first place.) These storylines indeed draw a lot of hits, which is why they’re covered so aggressively. I would nonetheless dispute the “click bait” characterization, as it implies that such material is either paid content or that it appeals to the readership’s basest instincts. The Deicide / Broken Hope / Nachtmystium affairs were real news, however silly or embarrassing they may be to the participants. And while they certainly appeal to readers’ instincts, those instincts are of the complex, social variety. Metal is a stern genre. Its fans are generally far more interested in the music itself than in the personal lives of its musicians, which is a credit to its culture. But even here, we love band drama. Why? As with most such social phenomena, the reasons are impossible to pin down conclusively, and they probably vary a lot from person to person. But here are a few that I think are fairly widespread. It’s an incomplete list, and it’s in no particular order; feel free to add to it in the comments. … 1. Schadenfreude. The metal community is deeply supportive of its favored artists, but when a musician crosses the fanbase — artistically or otherwise — too many times, we like to see them publicly punished for it. It’s an ugly impulse, but an essentially human one; people intuitively equate retribution with justice. Thus MetalSucks’s relentless coverage of people like Dave Mustaine and Ted Nugent’s many gaffes, and thus pretty much every metal publication’s occasional laugh at Metallica’s expense. All three have lost or betrayed their fans’ faith via their artistic decisions and public behavior, and so all three are considered fair targets for schadenfreude. The same could be said for Blake Judd, who has a long purported history of scamming fans and labels. … 2. It’s funny. Sometimes metal drama is sad, but it’s quite often funny, too. Musicians in general tend to take themselves very seriously, and metal musicians doubly so. When we see extremely serious people get caught up in extremely silly situations, our brains go into a fire drill of sorts that ends up producing laughter. That’s why Metalocalypse is amusing, and that’s why the image of Glen Benton and Jeremy Wagner standing toe-to-toe and bickering over who deserves the best parking space in their death metal voices is amusing too. … 3. Following drama creates a sense of community. The anthropologist Robin Dunbar famously proposed that humans evolved to live in socially cohesive groups of 100-200 individuals, in which each person knows each other person and in which interpersonal relationships are effectively common knowledge. If he was right, it stands to reason that we’re wired to care about other people’s business. People like Glen Benton and Blake Judd will never be part of most of our social circles, of course. But by talking about (and passing judgment on, all too frequently) their failings, fallings-out, and foibles, we can create the interior illusion that they are — or, at least, we can create another topic of mutual interest with the metal folk we actually know. Doing so makes the metal world feel a little smaller and more personal, which people seem to like. … 4. Band drama has real-life consequences for fans. Not always, of course, but sometimes. Broken Hope was kicked off the last few dates of their tour with Deicide as a result of that whole kerfuffle. Nachtmystium had to cancel their appearance at Metal Insider’s CMJ showcase when Judd went to jail. Visa issues are almost certainly the leading cause of metal-band live cancellations, followed by illness, but member misbehavior and interpersonal disputes have to be in the top 10. That means they’re worth keeping tabs on. … 5. Drama humanizes musicians. The Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard once got into a 19th-century flame war with a satirical Copenhagen weekly called The Corsair. The experience eventually led him to write a tirade against then-modernity called The Present Age (excerpted in part here, if you’re into that kind of thing). A lot of The Present Age involves Kierkegaard railing against the way that the media discourages people from achieving greatness by subjecting those who do to the cruel scrutiny of an amorphous and envious public — a process he calls “leveling.” Perhaps metal musicians are subject to leveling too. A more charitable way of looking at the scrutiny to which we expose these musicians is that while it makes them look like assholes individually, it humanizes them as a category. The best metal bands are larger than life, and those who aren’t often try to be anyway. But people like stories, and it’s easier to relate to a man than to a god. Judging by the popularity of both band drama coverage and internet-age band overshare, modern fans don’t really want metal bands to be untouchable giants. Instead, they want bands to consist of highly skilled humans with highly human flaws — humans who bicker amongst themselves, who make terrible financial decisions, who say impolitic things, and whose musical gifts do not spare them the humiliation of saying and doing the same dumb things as the rest of us. |
| ________________________________ [Nov 5,2013 12:20pm - Robing ""] DONT HUMANIZE ME BRO! |
| _____________________________________________ [Nov 5,2013 12:38pm - shutup drama queen ""] ITT: Robin is a drama queen. |
| ________________________________ [Nov 5,2013 12:38pm - Wrong ""] We love drama because you're a moron who can't take criticism, and also bands like Vattnet Viskar and Martyrwhore playing together is fucking gay and stupid. If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen you fucking kike |
| ____________________________________________________________ [Nov 5,2013 12:40pm - will you shut the fuck up already ""] Will you shut the fuck up already. |
| ____________________________________________________________ [Nov 5,2013 12:41pm - will you shut the fuck up already ""] will%20you%20shut%20the%20fuck%20up%20already said:Will you shut the fuck up already. attn: RobinFagget ^ |
| ________________________________ [Nov 5,2013 12:44pm - Wrong ""] Lol just kidding robin. I love you. |
| _________________________________________ [Nov 5,2013 12:54pm - The Real Truth ""] TL;DR |
| _____________________________ [Nov 5,2013 1:20pm - Yeti ""] 6. because 99.9% of people "into" metal are fake-ass blowhards with nothing else in their lives but drama. |
| ___________________________________ [Nov 5,2013 1:21pm - Alx_Casket ""] [img] |
| ____________________________________________________ [Nov 5,2013 1:34pm - grilled_dickcheese_sandwich ""] Yeti said:6. because 99.9% of people "into" metal are fake-ass blowhards with nothing else in their lives but drama. 7. which is why someone wasted the time writing such a long-ass thread trying to sound smarter than they really are using big words they don't understand to be on a high horse and intellectualize the drama. |
| ________________________________________________ [Nov 5,2013 3:01pm - Punched was the Melody ""] No one fucking likes you and we're all just waiting for your faggot ass to fade into irrelevance. Now go cry into your pillow until you pass out in a drunken stupor like you probably do almost every night anyways. |
| _______________________________ [Nov 5,2013 3:25pm - Robing ""] ^^^haha how mad are you |
| _______________________________ [Nov 5,2013 3:25pm - Robing ""] I'll never go away I kept it real and paved the way for you fucking faggots. |
| _________________________________ [Nov 5,2013 3:27pm - posbleak ""] [img] |
| __________________________________________ [Nov 5,2013 5:17pm - the wizard of oz ""] Robing said:I'll never go away I kept it real and paved the way for you fucking faggots. How did you pave the way for anyone? By building a yellow brick road? |
| ___________________________________________ [Nov 5,2013 6:03pm - King Thündêrstoøl ""] Robing said:I'll never go away I kept it real and paved the way for you fucking faggots. NO YOU DIDN'T YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!! I DID!!!!!!!!!!! I AM THE GREATEST TROLL OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| _______________________________ [Nov 5,2013 6:10pm - Trvth ""] King%20Thündêrstoøl said: Robing said:I'll never go away I kept it real and paved the way for you fucking faggots. NO YOU DIDN'T YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!! I DID!!!!!!!!!!! I AM THE GREATEST TROLL OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!! Neither of you faggots did shit. |
| ___________________________________________ [Nov 5,2013 6:48pm - King Thündêrstoøl ""] Trvth said: King%20Thündêrstoøl said: Robing said:I'll never go away I kept it real and paved the way for you fucking faggots. NO YOU DIDN'T YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!! I DID!!!!!!!!!!! I AM THE GREATEST TROLL OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!! Neither of you faggots did shit. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! I AM IN VITAL REMAINS YOU IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!! |
| _______________________________ [Nov 5,2013 6:55pm - Trvth ""] King%20Thündêrstoøl said: Trvth said: King%20Thündêrstoøl said: Robing said:I'll never go away I kept it real and paved the way for you fucking faggots. NO YOU DIDN'T YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!! I DID!!!!!!!!!!! I AM THE GREATEST TROLL OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!! Neither of you faggots did shit. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! TONY LAZARO WILL NEVER LET MY ASS BACK INTO VITAL REMAINS YOU IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!! |
| ____________________________________________________ [Nov 5,2013 7:45pm - midtown mall athletic club ""] King%20Thündêrstoøl said: Trvth said: King%20Thündêrstoøl said: Robing said:I'll never go away I kept it real and paved the way for you fucking faggots. NO YOU DIDN'T YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!! I DID!!!!!!!!!!! I AM THE GREATEST TROLL OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!! Neither of you faggots did shit. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! I AM IN VITAL REMAINS YOU IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!! changed were the locks |
| _______________________________ [Nov 5,2013 8:14pm - xmikex ""] Every time I point out that the Robin trolls are Robin they magically go away... |
| _____________________________ [Nov 5,2013 8:21pm - SMH ""] xmikex said:Every time I point out that the Robin trolls are Robin they magically go away... Is Robin King Thunderstool? |
| _______________________________ [Nov 5,2013 8:29pm - xmikex ""] SMH said: xmikex said:Every time I point out that the Robin trolls are Robin they magically go away... Is Robin King Thunderstool? No. Thunderstool is a combination of Wily, DMJ, and the guy from Seax trolling himself for attention (I guess Robin did pave the way for something afterall). |
| _____________________________________ [Nov 5,2013 8:38pm - the_reverend ""] don't forget about anthony michael hall... everyone always forgets about anthony michael hall. |
| _____________________________________ [Nov 5,2013 8:38pm - BeholdJudas ""] Carmine is a). no longer in Seax and b). not so pathetic as to need to troll himself for attention. |
| _______________________________ [Nov 5,2013 8:42pm - xmikex ""] BeholdJudas said:Carmine is a). no longer in Seax and b). not so pathetic as to need to troll himself for attention. Thanks for the update, Carmine. |
| _____________________________________ [Nov 5,2013 9:00pm - BeholdJudas ""] Haha, you actually think I'm Carmine. |
| _______________________________ [Nov 6,2013 12:05am - derm ""] go sox! |
| ___________________________________ [Nov 6,2013 3:33am - xgodzillax ""] Has no one else picked up on the obvious fact that this is a copy and paste job? |
| _____________________________ [Nov 6,2013 9:55am - Lamp ""] gr erg g g g eger eg g e eg eg e eg ge g re re e er g eg er ge e ge ger re ger g ge ge g g ge ge ge ge g ge g g g g ge g geqr h her er e e er er ehr her erh erh re e g g e g gr gr gr g eg qegh h re b be beb r br e br br br br rb br br br br br r eb e b b eb eb be eb be be be be be be eb eb be eb eb eb eb eb eb eb be be eb eb eb b b eb be eb be be be be eb be be e r e er fr f f fd f f df f f f f f df fd fd fd fd fd fd df fd fd fd fd fd fd fd fd fd fd fd d d df f fd f d d f d fd fd d f df fd fd fd fd df df dfwe we ew rw ew w we efw few ewf f f efw efw efw ef efw fw f ef ef ef ef ef efw efw efw ef efw c CE w vw wv vw wv wv v vw vw vw vw v fv vf vf vf fv fv fv fd fd fd f f f fv fv f f fv f f fv fv f fd f f f fv fv fv fd f vf fv fv fv fv fv fv fv fv fv vf vf bd b b b b b db db bd bd bd bd bd bd bd bd bd bd bd bd bd bd bd bd bd bd bd bd b bd bd b b bd db bd bd bd bd b b bd b b b n nh h h f hf h gf h h h gh f f gf gf gf gf gf g hn jm hj jm jm jm mj jm jm mj jm mj jm jm mj mj mj mj m mj nhm h nn gn gn gn gn ng gn ng ng ng ng ng ng ng gn ng gf fg gf gf g g gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf g gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf g g g gf n n n n nf fn nf nf nf n n fn fn fn nf nf nf nf nf nf nf fn vn b b b bf b v v bv v bv bv bv bv bv bv bv bv bv bv bv bv bv bv bv bv bv bv bv bv bv bv bv bvbv bv b bv l p p p pp p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p po po po po po po po po po po op po po po op po op o op po op po po o p p o po o p p o o o p p o o p p p o oo p o po o p p o o p o po p op j j h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h hg g g |
| _____________________________ [Nov 6,2013 9:56am - Lamp ""] 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post was too long read more at your own risk |
| ________________________________________ [Nov 6,2013 3:42pm - NH Brufaggotry ""] HAHAHAHA!!!! You're a fucking loser, Duncan! Where is that $18 you owe me? |
| ____________________________________________ [Nov 6,2013 4:34pm - Rodney Dangerstool ""] xmikex said: SMH said: xmikex said:Every time I point out that the Robin trolls are Robin they magically go away... Is Robin King Thunderstool? No. Thunderstool is a combination of Wily, DMJ, and the guy from Seax trolling himself for attention (I guess Robin did pave the way for something afterall). No. It's just Willey. |
| ___________________________________ [Nov 6,2013 5:56pm - xgodzillax ""] copied and pasted from here. written by Doug Moore. http://www.invisibleoranges.com/2013/11/why-we-love-metal-drama/ |
| _______________________________________ [Nov 6,2013 6:24pm - Battle Diaper ""] OH MY FUCKING GOD... Just SOMEONE point out the obvious. ROBIN calling OTHER PEOPLE dramatic is fucking hilarious. He's only gotten his ass kicked about a bajillion times over fights that he started. THERE. |
| ______________________________________________________ [Nov 7,2013 8:09pm - relevant google image search ""] Battle%20Diaper said:OH MY FUCKING GOD... Just SOMEONE point out the obvious. ROBIN calling OTHER PEOPLE dramatic is fucking hilarious. He's only gotten his ass kicked about a bajillion times over fights that he started. THERE. [img] |
| ________________________________________ [Nov 13,2013 12:09pm - Permacockeye ""] Actually I was the original Thunderstool and none of you know who I am. I AM THE QUEEN OF THE LAZY EYE, or am I just some anonymous fuck who thinks you guys are lame? Probably the latter. I WIN YOU LOSE FUCK THIS SITE. Just a bunch of psychopaths and their sheep followers stealing from bomb victims so they can afford their cocaine induced "rock star" lifestyle that no one else cares about. HAVE FUN SUCKING AT LIFE. |
| ______________________________________________ [Nov 13,2013 12:17pm - obvious answer man ""] Hi robin |
| _______________________________________ [Nov 13,2013 1:07pm - Permacockeye ""] Hi Michael, when are you going to overdose and have a heart attack? |
| ________________________________________ [Nov 13,2013 1:32pm - Permacockeye_ ""] J/k, I suck cocks and everybody in NOLA will be psyched when I die of organ failure and stop pestering them to play with my embarrassing vanity band. I mean, I'm not Robin. |
| ______________________________________ [Nov 13,2013 1:35pm - snortcraver ""] I will give anyone some of the One Fund coke pile if they just let me suck their penis. |
| _______________________________________________ [Nov 13,2013 1:39pm - Melody Permablackeye ""] Dibs |
| _______________________________ [Nov 14,2013 1:11pm - Derp ""] [img] |
| ___________________________________ [Nov 14,2013 2:33pm - shitcunt ""] xmikex said: No. Thunderstool is a combination of Wily, DMJ, and the guy from Seax trolling himself for attention (I guess Robin did pave the way for something afterall). Death Metal Jim is one of the Thunderstools? |
| _______________________________ [Nov 14,2013 3:24pm - DERP ""] shitcunt said: xmikex said: No. Thunderstool is a combination of Wily, DMJ, and the guy from Seax trolling himself for attention (I guess Robin did pave the way for something afterall). Death Metal Jim is one of the Thunderstools? DMJ = DukeManJunk, annoying poster who disappeared long ago but is always blamed for being trolls when Cher doesn't want to admit it's him |
| ___________________________________ [Nov 14,2013 3:56pm - shitcunt ""] DERP said: shitcunt said: xmikex said: No. Thunderstool is a combination of Wily, DMJ, and the guy from Seax trolling himself for attention (I guess Robin did pave the way for something afterall). Death Metal Jim is one of the Thunderstools? DMJ = DukeManJunk, annoying poster who disappeared long ago but is always blamed for being trolls when Cher doesn't want to admit it's him Ah. |