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Conan the Barbarian (2011)

[views:8235][posts:47]
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[May 11,2011 3:48pm - FuckIsMySignature ""]
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0816462/

preview is on there. ugh.
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[May 11,2011 3:54pm - SLAAAGG NLI  ""]
I'm feeling a bit of indigestion right now. I had no idea they were remaking this.
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[May 11,2011 4:00pm - FuckIsMySignature ""]
its pretty sad.
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[May 11,2011 4:17pm - BrianDBB ""]
With all the roided up wrestlers, bodybuilders, and MMA douchebags in the world, they went with this dweeb?
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[May 11,2011 4:18pm - FuckIsMySignature ""]
lol no shit right?
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[May 11,2011 4:40pm - narkybark ""]
punch a camel or GTFO
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[May 11,2011 5:39pm - menstrual_sweatpants_disco ""]
Wow, this actually looks kind of good.

Oh wait, no it doesn't
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[May 11,2011 7:45pm - ark  ""]
PLUSES: Rose McGowan
FALSES: actor, cgi, dialogue, everything else
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[May 11,2011 9:48pm - longdeadgod ""]
Whats the point of this, Arnolds version captured the vibe of the original books as close as hollywood is capable of.
This looks like Conan of the caribbean: on gayer tides.
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[May 12,2011 1:19am - Blessed_Offal ""]
[img]
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[May 12,2011 5:13am - Eddie ""]
why
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[May 12,2011 5:17am - eyehatehippies ""]
Well, I'm a huge, HUGE Conan fan, so eventually I'm probably going to have to watch this preview and weep in the fetal position for a couple of hours, aren't I?
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[May 12,2011 6:23am - eyehatehippies ""]
Okay, I'm sorry, I'm just not on the same page as you guys.

Does it look cheesy? Yes. Is it Hollywood? Yes. Is it the 80's Conan?? Hell no. Is that a bad thing. No, the 80's Conan was NOT the Robert E Howard Conan. It was awesome in its own right, but I see almost no comparison, apples and oranges. This looks a lot like the Robert E Howard Conan, but with a big Hollywood production. So, much better than I would have expected. I will go see this in theater.
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[May 12,2011 6:31am - arilliusbm ""]
eye, remember the early-to-mid 90s conan cartoon?
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[May 12,2011 8:17am - ancient master  ""]
awesome theme song from that one
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[May 12,2011 8:31am - AndrewBastard ""]
preview looks pretty badass
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[May 12,2011 11:09am - ark  ""]

eyehatehippies said:This looks a lot like the Robert E Howard Conan, but with a big Hollywood production. So, much better than I would have expected. I will go see this in theater.



I anticipate they will gloss over or entirely leave out Crom, forgo any of Howard's allusions to the real Cimmerians, Picts, Vanir, etc, and follow the trend of CGI filtering every scene (which is not always bad but too often used as a crutch) while keeping the dialogue dumbed-down enough for the summer blockbuster crowd. BUT I still want to see it and hope I'm wrong!
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[May 12,2011 1:15pm - Yeti ""]
i heard Rob Zombie was doing this.
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[May 12,2011 1:24pm - Sacreligion ""]

Yeti said:i heard Rob Zombie was ruining this.
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[May 12,2011 1:35pm - ridddeersssofdoooomm  ""]
as my user name attests, I love conan, robert e howard, etc. First movie was awesome, I am looking forward to this but with great reservations lest it let me down like 300 did
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[May 12,2011 1:44pm - ridddeersssofdoooomm  ""]
Also, biggest thing I am upset about is that the music will not come close to the first conan movie

imho basil poledarious's score for Conan is the greatest movie score ever made.



bennyhillifier
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[May 12,2011 1:44pm - ridddeersssofdoooomm  ""]
Also, repost
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[May 12,2011 1:45pm - ark  ""]
300 let you down? what were you expecting? great comic book movie.
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[May 12,2011 1:48pm - ridddeersssofdoooomm  ""]

ark said:300 let you down? what were you expecting? great comic book movie.


less cgi hhahaha
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[May 12,2011 1:50pm - ark  ""]
that was one i figured animation was necessary because just like SIN CITY it was a direct comic book adaptation.
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[May 12,2011 3:25pm - Yeti ""]
yeah agreed, 300 was lame-o.
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[May 12,2011 3:28pm - FuckIsMySignature ""]
fucking hated 300
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[May 12,2011 3:45pm - arilliusbm ""]
300 was great for what it was, but a homo erotic horrible movie at that.
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[May 12,2011 3:47pm - FuckIsMySignature ""]
i enjoyed the History Channel's version much much more.
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[May 12,2011 4:02pm - narkybark ""]
I thought 300 was just ok when I first saw it, but upon a rewatch it kinda clicked and now I think it's good for what it is
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[May 12,2011 4:11pm - ark  ""]
Sin City was fantastic and going into 300 I expected Sin City: Sparta and that's what I got. Glorious movie with proper art direction and good action scenes. Leonidas' story would make a great historical film but 300 wasn't it.
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[May 12,2011 5:22pm - Yeti ""]
Sin City was awesome. but if i want to watch 300, i'll just play God of War.
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[May 12,2011 7:58pm - Sacreligion ""]

Yeti said:Sin City was awesome. but if i want to watch 300, the remake of Clash of the Titans, or CGI Beowulf, i'll just play God of War.
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[May 13,2011 2:59am - eyehatehippies ""]
I will give the first movie that - there is no way the soundtrack of this new one will even come close to touching the score for Conan The Barbarian. That shit was the very definition of EPIC...
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[May 13,2011 8:25am - ancient master  ""]
firenadwindcomefromtheskyfromthegodsoftheskybutcromisyourgodcromandhelivesintheearthoncegiantslivedintheearthconanandinthedarknessofchaostheyfooledcromandtheytookfromhimtheenigmaofsteelcromwasangeredandtheearthshookandfireandwindstruckdownthesegiantsandtheythrewtheirbodiesintothewatersbutintheirragethgodsforgotthesecretofsteelandleftitonthebattlefieldandwewhofounditarejustmennotgodsnotgiantsjustmenthesecretofsteelhasalwayscarriedwithitamysteryyoumustlearnitsriddleconanyoumustlearnitsdisciplinefornoonenooneinthisworldcanyoutrustnotmennotwomennotbeaststhisyoucantrust
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[May 13,2011 11:32am - ridddeersssofdoooomm  ""]

ancient%20master said:firenadwindcomefromtheskyfromthegodsoftheskybutcromisyourgodcromandhelivesintheearthoncegiantslivedintheearthconanandinthedarknessofchaostheyfooledcromandtheytookfromhimtheenigmaofsteelcromwasangeredandtheearthshookandfireandwindstruckdownthesegiantsandtheythrewtheirbodiesintothewatersbutintheirragethgodsforgotthesecretofsteelandleftitonthebattlefieldandwewhofounditarejustmennotgodsnotgiantsjustmenthesecretofsteelhasalwayscarriedwithitamysteryyoumustlearnitsriddleconanyoumustlearnitsdisciplinefornoonenooneinthisworldcanyoutrustnotmennotwomennotbeaststhisyoucantrust


and then riders of doom come and rape the shit out of a bunch to cimmerians.
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[May 19,2011 6:33pm - ValkyrieScreams ""]
Finally saw the official trailer for this last night when I went to see Thor in 3D (which, btw was waaaaay better than I expected it to be)... The acting doesn't look great, but in all honesty, I kinda want to see it anyway. I loved Conan when I was a kid and cringed when I heard it was being redone. I finally reconciled myself to the fact that all the people who grew up loving all these amazing "old" movies have jobs now and think they can do better. Let em have their shot I suppose. I don't expect this to be anything like the original. The action and effects look pretty cool. I just hope the acting isn't as bad as The 300... biggest piece of shit movie I've ever seen!
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[May 19,2011 7:41pm - arilliusbm ""]

ValkyrieScreams said: 300... biggest piece of shit movie I've ever seen!


AMEN!!
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[May 19,2011 7:46pm - arilliusbm ""]
well, I've only seen 300 once and have no desire to see it again. It was exactly what I expected it to be. I can see why people love it, but the movie was "MEH" at best.
I saw Frank Miller's "The Spirit" the day it came out and it was absolutely horrible.
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[May 19,2011 7:47pm - the_reverend ""]
I like my movies based on factual events like 10,000BC
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[May 19,2011 7:50pm - arilliusbm ""]
You guys used to give me shit for hating on movies for having little-to-no historical accuracy.
Apocalypto is one of my favorite movies of all time, yet I can't stand the ending. THAT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENED. THEY WEREN'T EVEN AROUND WHEN THE SPANISH CAME. WTF MEL GIBSON YOUR ARRESTED
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[May 19,2011 7:53pm - arilliusbm ""]
Only digging up two year old quotes (in phonegrish) about a completely different movie is real:


arilliusbm said:He is half-right, though. They do go into great detail about certain aspects of Mayan society.. however the whole premesis is off. Mel Gibsom portrayed the Mayans (although never clarifiet IS the Mayans) were an evil people that had no respect for human life. And his finishing tough was when the Spanish came, arriving as savoirs with monks and crosses for these savages. A few examples of stuff that didn't happen in real life:
1.) There were no "jungle" tribes back then that had no contact with Mayan cities. There were Mayan cities littered about, 10-20 miles apart in most cases. They had roads, trade routes, and the like. If these "tribes" had no idea of Mayan cities than that's just false.
2.) Most Mayans would have been honored to be sacrificed in the name of their god. they wouldn't have been petrified like the ones in the movie.
3.) The city was loosely based off the aritecture in the Mayan city of Tikal, which was at its height of power well before the Spanish came. Basically, as a whole, the whole Mayan civilization was 90% gone when the Spanish arrived.
4.) There hasn't been much proof to support a mass grave like the one shown in the movie. Gibson just added that to paint the Mayans are savages even more.
5.) The whole entire fact that the Spanish arrive at the end of the movie made me want to puke. They arrived 600 years after the Mayan's apex. When they Spanish arrived the Aztecs were in power, but they were more to the west in Central Mexico.

It is absolutely absurd to watch movies now thinking they'll be historically accuarate. But this movie was a great movie, despite its lies. As you can see, I'm obviously pro-Mayan because I think Mexico would be a much better place today if the Spanish hadn't conquered it and destroyed 85% of Mayan artifacts/documents/language.

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[Jul 2,2011 11:35pm - Alx_Casket ""]
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[Jul 4,2011 7:40am - Boozegood ""]
The guy that is playing Conan looks MUCH more like Conan the Cimmerian than Arnold does, that's for sure. That's my two cents.
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[Jul 21,2011 3:45am - Boozegood ""]
Also, stop calling this a fuckin' remake.

Finally a (comparatively) original, new Sci-Fi/Fantasy movie is coming out and people can only bitch and moan about it.
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[Jul 21,2011 9:27am - arkquimanthorn  ""]
Conan the Barbarian (1982) - The epic tale of child sold into slavery who grows into a man who seeks revenge against the warlord who massacred his tribe.

Conan the Barbarian (2011) - The tale of Conan the Cimmerian and his adventures across the continent of Hyboria on a quest to avenge the murder of his father and the slaughter of his village.

It is a remake or "reboot" (even though you can't reboot Conan), we'll see if it's any good. There are some good sf/fantasy remakes. Some.
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[Jul 21,2011 9:45am - Boozegood ""]

arkquimanthorn said:Conan the Barbarian (1982) - The epic tale of child sold into slavery who grows into a man who seeks revenge against the warlord who massacred his tribe.

Conan the Barbarian (2011) - The tale of Conan the Cimmerian and his adventures across the continent of Hyboria on a quest to avenge the murder of his father and the slaughter of his village.

It is a remake or "reboot" (even though you can't reboot Conan), we'll see if it's any good. There are some good sf/fantasy remakes. Some.



It is not a remake, or a reboot, or anything. It's another movie based on the Conan the Barbarian stories.
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[Jul 21,2011 10:07am - arkquimanthorn  ""]
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