ED: Massachusetts[views:2961][posts:22]_________________________________ [Feb 12,2010 5:32am - reimroc ""] Although I hate 4ailchan this is probably the most hilarious thing I ever read. http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Massachusetts |
| _________________________________ [Feb 12,2010 5:38am - reimroc ""] New Bedford Take elements from every terrible city in the world, including niggers, toxic waste, welfare, and fucking confusing streets and you'd get something that looks like New Bedford, the red-headed step child of Fall River. Famous in the past for being a hub for whaling, the city now depends on insurance claims from stabbings and what little tourism they can suck from the Cape to sustain itself. Every single road in this city is a one way and you will always end up somewhere near the atlantic or in the far north end because Massholes never signal and cut you off before you can make a turn onto the street you actually wanted. New Bedford also only has one bridge leading to nearby Fairhaven, which they love to open at 8:30AM during rush hour because some rich bastard from Hyannis wanted to sail up the bay and ruin your life. For every stabbing in other Massachusetts cities, ten happen in New Bedford, usually at poorly lit dive bars or in the aptly named Shotgun Alley where people line up to get stabbed in the thigh. There is only one business in all of New Bedford that seems to care about security, a bait shop in the south end with a sign that states "This property is protected by doberman pinschers with AIDS." |
| ______________________________________ [Feb 12,2010 7:01am - the_reverend ""] http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/New_Hampshire "Everyone knows that New Hampshire is just another county of Massachusetts and not actually a state. " |
| _________________________________ [Feb 12,2010 7:17am - reimroc ""] "New Hampshire came into existence a couple hundred years ago. Nothing new has happened since. " |
| _________________________________ [Feb 12,2010 7:19am - reimroc ""] LOL As is stated in state, federal, and international law, nothing noteworthy may happen in, or come from, New Hampshire. For example, please complete the following statement: "New Hampshire is well known for its..." (?) The only acceptable answer is "successful use as a fake driver's license" since no one knows (or cares) about it. That's if they have ever even heard of it before and/or know it is not a part of America's Hat. Or GG Allin (see below). |
| _________________________________ [Feb 12,2010 7:21am - reimroc ""] "The Old Man of the Mountain was a tiny rock formation up in the middle of nowhere that looked sort of like an old dude if you squinted real hard. People would drive hundreds of miles to stare at a bunch of rocks. Pictures of it are everywhere, from driver's licenses to license plates to road signs. Then one day, the old man said, "fuck this shit" and fell down. (This event was ridiculed in The Simpsons.) Noone cared except a few old people. If you're curious what it looks like, go find a NH state quarter. Its what they put on there because there is nothing else they care about. Not only did they choose something stupid, but something that existed for an impressive 42 seconds after the coin was minted. It further pisses off the rest of the country by fucking up coin tosses as being a double-headed quarter. " |
| _________________________________ [Feb 12,2010 7:23am - reimroc ""] The NH one is almost as hilarious as the mass one. I'm going to see what the maine one talks about. |
| _________________________________ [Feb 12,2010 7:25am - reimroc ""] Oh man some hilarious stuff in here rev. http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Maine |
| _________________________________ [Feb 12,2010 7:28am - reimroc ""] More About Maine Maine's chief export is Lobster Logging and Marijuana. Lobster, which is not unlike a cockroach that lives at the bottom of the ocean. Lobster is shipped to fine restaurants across the world to feed social elites and rich people everywhere. It is not quite understood why these people eat lobster, as it tastes and smells like 3-day old moldy diarrhea. Maine also has a worse economy than Darfur but Governer Baldy collects taxes like everyone is Bill Gates. Their second largest export is logs, closely followed by dead cows, moose, and dead tourists. |
| _________________________________________ [Feb 12,2010 8:11am - TheRidersofDoom ""] "Lynn is famous for its gangsta wigga cool cats. You can't walk 2 feet without seeing a two year old smoking a cig" |
| _____________________________________ [Feb 12,2010 3:11pm - Sacreligion ""] Worcester is easily the most fucked up part of Massachusetts as it has over 9,000 totally different streets with identical names which all go nowhere |
| ________________________________ [Feb 12,2010 3:13pm - xmikex ""] Brockton Just south of Boston, Brockton is home of 6 year olds sexually harassing each other, famous boxers Rocky Marciano and Marvelous Marvin Hagler, the annual fair where at least 2 girls a year get raped, niggers killing each other every summer just for the lulz, all the refugee criminals that are escaping the Boston PD, Cape Verde's second largest nigra population, and a crime rate that even keeps the criminals on edge. nailed. wtf, no Quincy??? |
| ______________________________ [Feb 12,2010 3:17pm - Lamp ""] http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Rhode_Island Rhode Island is a small, dago-infested principality on the east coast of the United States. This sort of makes it like an Americunt version of Monaco, only instead of hookers and blow and people who are rich and beautiful, Rhode Island is filled with faggots, Child Boxing, Liberals and fail. lolz |
| ______________________________ [Feb 12,2010 3:19pm - Lamp ""] Woonsocket Considered the cultural capital of Rhode Island Hahahaha, who considers Woonsocket the cultural capital of Rhode Island? |
| _______________________________ [Feb 12,2010 3:35pm - Pires ""] Lamp said: Woonsocket Considered the cultural capital of Rhode Island Hahahaha, who considers Woonsocket the cultural capital of Rhode Island? KEEP READING Considered the cultural capital of Rhode Island, residents here exhibit the same social graces as Kabul, Afghanistan. All vehicles driven in town are at least 25 years old, both men and women display artistic tattoos on at least 75% of their body and cigarette smoking is an art. Millions of tourists flock to Woonsocket each year to observe the parade of motorcyclist's on their way to Dunkin Donuts. Cultural events include visits to Grossman's Bargain Outlet, lining up to purchase lottery tickets and walking to liquor stores twice daily for 12 six packs of beer. Woonsocket also has the safest and most mature drivers in America, average speeds and driver's age are 3.7 mph and 93 years old respectively. Being as homosexual as they are, people of Woonsocket, have an unhealthy obsession with wiener hot dogs. No less then 400 wiener dispensers serve Phallic shaped meat drizzled in liquid eat shit. Every diner is filled with at least one fat woman without a bra and a cock eyed redhead. Every citizen of Woonksocket is a product of incest. |
| ______________________________ [Feb 12,2010 4:11pm - Lamp ""] I did read the whole thing. I just read that first segment and wondered out loud who would honestly think Woonsocket is the cultural capital of Rhode Island when people outside of New England have probably never even heard of the place. |
| ___________________________________________ [Feb 12,2010 4:59pm - FuckIsMySignature ""] LoL at Worcester being a "suburb that got out of hand" |
| ____________________________________ [Feb 12,2010 5:25pm - arilliusbm ""] every city in MA sucks |
| ___________________________________________ [Feb 12,2010 5:28pm - FuckIsMySignature ""] SMASHYOUTOBITS |
| _____________________________ [Feb 12,2010 5:30pm - pam ""] AHAHAHAHHA The Fall River one is amazing. "If you are a resident of Fall River, you are one of 5 things. A Puerto Rican, Black, Cambodian, Portuguese, or Irish." |
| ________________________________ [Feb 12,2010 5:51pm - beelze ""] Dont go to Springfield unless you want to die |
| _______________________________ [Feb 12,2010 7:37pm - sever ""] xgodzillax said:Dont go to Chinatown unless you want to die |
| ________________________________________ [Feb 16,2010 1:48am - DestroyYouAlot ""] REPOST |