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Epic Dating Fail (this is a must read)

[views:4884][posts:46]
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[Dec 14,2009 1:27am - the_reverend ""]
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=120921191

who was this?
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[Dec 14,2009 1:52am - DestroyYouAlot ""]
I only wish.
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[Dec 14,2009 6:31am - blendermethodnli  ""]
hahahahaaha! That's fuckin hilarious! I doubt I'll read/hear something that intense by the end of the year.
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[Dec 14,2009 7:30am - arilliusbm ""]
That's what public restrooms are for. Fucking tool
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[Dec 14,2009 7:57am - the_reverend ""]
if you think that then you didn't read the post
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[Dec 14,2009 8:35am - arilliusbm ""]
well the idiots talking about pee bottles, etc. Could have easily been avoided.
Same kind of thing happended to me once though, except I shat in a toilet that wasn't hooked up to anything.
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[Dec 14,2009 8:44am - the_reverend ""]
the dude has social anxiety disoder or somethinng and cant do that i guess.

how did your brother deal with your story?
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[Dec 14,2009 8:51am - TheRidersofDoom ""]
I have never laughed that hard when readig something


also, even my roommate laughed his ass off, and I suck at retelling funny stories.
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[Dec 14,2009 9:00am - titd nli  ""]
LOL
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[Dec 14,2009 9:01am - arilliusbm ""]
Social anxiety is easily fixable.
He's trying to cope with his by lifting weights and looking good and posting this nonsense on a forum because of his inability to tell a good story in real life. I hope this dude dies; his paint pictures ain't funny too.
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[Dec 14,2009 9:01am - xmikex ""]
[img]
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[Dec 14,2009 9:10am - DestroyYouAlot ""]
Love the giant ass.
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[Dec 14,2009 9:12am - arilliusbm ""]
It is quite ashaming to know you people have a sense of humor this immature.
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[Dec 14,2009 9:14am - MarkFuckingRichards ""]
I have an extremely immature sense of humor, but I didn't laugh once while reading that.
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[Dec 14,2009 9:20am - arktouros ""]
i didn't either, is there something wrong with me?

i kept thinking maybe he should have said "yeah, i have to go back to my dorm to take care of something, i'll meet you there" or at least if he was at a campus cafe just suck it up and use the fucking public toilet. doesn't compute.
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[Dec 14,2009 9:24am - xmikex ""]

arilliusbm said:It is quite ashaming to know you people have a sense of humor this immature.


[img]
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[Dec 14,2009 9:42am - arilliusbm ""]
Precisely.
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[Dec 14,2009 9:55am - menstrual_sweatpants_disco ""]

MarkFuckingRichards said:I have an extremely immature sense of humor, but I didn't laugh once while reading that.


Ditto for me.
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[Dec 14,2009 9:59am - ouchdrummer ""]
I did laugh.. And the whole time i was trying to figure out if there's a completely different subculture of dudes out there who have to pee in bottles.
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[Dec 14,2009 10:39am - Yeti ""]

MarkFuckingRichards said:I have an extremely immature sense of humor, but I didn't laugh once while reading that.


3rd'ed. i don't believe it, which is why i didn't laugh. though i do know of a ridiculous shit story, and i can vouch for it because i was there, and saw the aftermath. back in like 96 when i worked at McDonald's, some guy came in with explosive diarrhea, and when he sat down to shit, he missed the bowl and it hit the curved lip on the back of the seat, sending his shit spraying EVERYWHERE. He paid an employee 80 bucks to go to Wal-Mart to buy him new clothes. pants, shirt, shoes, everything. he was pretty much covered in shit.
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[Dec 14,2009 10:40am - ouchdrummer ""]
^^that's hilarious.
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[Dec 14,2009 11:05am - MarkFuckingRichards ""]
Hahaha, that is awesome. I'm sure if I was friends with the guy on that board, I would laugh...but then again, I refuse to be friends with people who have designated bottles for their urine.
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[Dec 14,2009 11:14am - imperial slar destroyer  ""]
sorry, anyone who didnt lol at that needs to check their pulse, i dont care if it was real or not, the MS paint pictures put me over the top
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[Dec 14,2009 11:14am - xmikex ""]
The story is an obvious fake (and if it's real I have no sympathy for a grown male who fusses so much over pee bottles and public bathrooms).

The Paint drawings are worth half a lol though.
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[Dec 14,2009 11:22am - ouchdrummer ""]
I really don't get it. Why have pee bottles? I get the social anxiety thing... but you can pee standing up in a stall with no one seeing you, without touching anything.... A bottle would make that easier how? So that people wouldn't hear you peeing in a stall maybe? I piss in stalls all the time. I like peeing in stalls, when i pee in urinals, and i REALLY have to go, sometimes it splashes back on my pants, and that sucks. In a stall you can lean back and let it flow.
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[Dec 14,2009 11:43am - FuckIsMySignature ""]
i dont understand why the guy wouldnt just run to the bathroom as soon as he got the urge to shit.
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[Dec 14,2009 11:45am - MarkFuckingRichards ""]
I don't understand why he didn't just shit his pants like a real man.
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[Dec 14,2009 11:46am - the_reverend ""]

arilliusbm said:Social anxiety is easily fixable.
He's trying to cope with his by lifting weights and looking good and posting this nonsense on a forum because of his inability to tell a good story in real life. I hope this dude dies; his paint pictures ain't funny too.

I was referencing dumb and dumber to what you typed.
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[Dec 14,2009 11:48am - the_reverend ""]
STAND UP AND SHIT!!!!
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[Dec 14,2009 11:48am - the_reverend ""]
You guys are all typing like you don't collect your piss in bottles at home. Whatever.
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[Dec 14,2009 11:53am - Blender_Method ""]

MarkFuckingRichards said:I don't understand why he didn't just shit his pants like a real man.


Oh Mark, ya went there lolz
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[Dec 14,2009 11:56am - the_reverend ""]
you mean Mark has been there.
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[Dec 14,2009 12:01pm - Doomkid nli  ""]
I still don't understand if having a pee bottle is related to his social anxiety or to his weight lifting...

Regardless he must have some massive pee bottles, the only time I've ever peed in measured receptacle I filled a 30 oz mason jar.
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[Dec 14,2009 12:32pm - xmikex ""]
Just to add to the conversation on pee bottles...

I got home from NYC at like 6 am Sunday morning, drank a huge glass of water (after drinking coffee and energy drinks for the 4 hours home) and went to bed. When I woke up my room mate was taking a shower. I went into emergency mode and grabbed an empty 1L plastic water bottle and filled it, with some Segal movie esque suspense, literally to the top. I'm also pretty sure I forgot to empty it/throw it out so there's a full liter of piss somewhere in my bed room right now.
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[Dec 14,2009 12:41pm - Yeti ""]
yeah i've done that before if a roommate is taking a shower and it's during the day. if you do it at night, you are a weirdo.
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[Dec 14,2009 12:48pm - the_reverend ""]
I've done the same thing on millions of car rides.
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[Dec 14,2009 1:49pm - menstrual_sweatpants_disco ""]

xmikex said:Just to add to the conversation on pee bottles...

I got home from NYC at like 6 am Sunday morning, drank a huge glass of water (after drinking coffee and energy drinks for the 4 hours home) and went to bed. When I woke up my room mate was taking a shower. I went into emergency mode and grabbed an empty 1L plastic water bottle and filled it, with some Segal movie esque suspense, literally to the top. I'm also pretty sure I forgot to empty it/throw it out so there's a full liter of piss somewhere in my bed room right now.



The bestest is when you do this and let it sit long enough to cool down to room temperature. Then whatever bottle you put it in is all crushed due to the physics. PHYSICS!

PS: Roomates in the shower = Piss in the utility sink in the basement. Works every time.
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[Dec 14,2009 1:53pm - FuckIsMySignature ""]
morning wood plus need to shit and piss is terrible. best solution is jack it first and the hope for the best.
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[Dec 14,2009 1:54pm - IllinoisEnemaBradness ""]

menstrual_sweatpants_disco said:
MarkFuckingRichards said:I have an extremely immature sense of humor, but I didn't laugh once while reading that.


Ditto for me.



double ditto
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[Dec 14,2009 2:30pm - anonymous  ""]

xmikex said:Just to add to the conversation on pee bottles...

I got home from NYC at like 6 am Sunday morning, drank a huge glass of water (after drinking coffee and energy drinks for the 4 hours home) and went to bed. When I woke up my room mate was taking a shower. I went into emergency mode and grabbed an empty 1L plastic water bottle and filled it, with some Segal movie esque suspense, literally to the top. I'm also pretty sure I forgot to empty it/throw it out so there's a full liter of piss somewhere in my bed room right now.



[img]
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[Dec 14,2009 2:38pm - the_reverend ""]

menstrual_sweatpants_disco said:PS: Roomates in the shower = Piss in the utility sink in the basement. Works every time.
So you piss on the torsos BEFORE you fuck them? gross.
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[Dec 14,2009 3:11pm - douchebag_patrol ""]
[img]
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[Dec 14,2009 3:15pm - xmikex ""]

the_reverend said:I've done the same thing on millions of car rides.


I was going to make fun of you. Then I figured you probably do a torturous amount of driving going to all those shows. And god forbid you show up late because you had to piss and miss another Hell Within set.
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[Dec 14,2009 4:31pm - DestroyYouAlot ""]

anonymous said:
xmikex said:Just to add to the conversation on pee bottles...

I got home from NYC at like 6 am Sunday morning, drank a huge glass of water (after drinking coffee and energy drinks for the 4 hours home) and went to bed. When I woke up my room mate was taking a shower. I went into emergency mode and grabbed an empty 1L plastic water bottle and filled it, with some Segal movie esque suspense, literally to the top. I'm also pretty sure I forgot to empty it/throw it out so there's a full liter of piss somewhere in my bed room right now.


[AWESOME IMAEG]



[AWESOMER IMAEG]

[img]

fix'd that for ya bro
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[Dec 14,2009 4:33pm - RustyPS ""]
It's Always Sunny meme FTW
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[Dec 14,2009 8:19pm - swamplorddvm ""]

arilliusbm said:That's what public restrooms are for. Fucking tool


Yeah. What is he? Too good for public toilets?

Just wipe off the seat and lay down paper and sit!

I hope this is a true story.
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[Dec 14,2009 8:36pm - pam ""]
Bullshit story but the paint illustrations are tops.


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