Limited Edition NH Barbie Dolls[views:2313][posts:17]__________________________________ [Nov 14,2008 3:22pm - succubus ""] Stratham Barbie This princess Barbie is only sold at exclusive Bedford stores. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented" version. Concord Barbie This modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately. Manchester Barbie This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows and a Portable Meth Lab. This model is only available after dark and can only be paid for in cash. Prefer ably small, untraceable bills. Unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about. Amherst Barbie This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer h3. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them. Laconia Barbie This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six pack of Coors light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick Mullet Ken's butt when she's drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free. Loon Barbie This collagen-injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print ski outfit and drinks Cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at the lodge. Optional Percocet prescription available. Wakefield Barbie This tobacco chewing, brassy haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer Gut Ken out of Rochester Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low rise acid washed jeans, fake finger nails, and a see through halter top. Also available with a mobile home and 8-track tape player. Newmarket Barbie This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow". She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker for free. Hanover Barbie This Barbie comes with her own mountain bike. Available with SUV, complete with Kayak on the roof and dog in the back. Optional Ken doll also comes with his own mountain bike and dog. Farmington Barbie This Barbie is only 14 and comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his '79 Caddy were available, but are very difficult to find since the infant came along. Rochester Barbie This chain smoking, beer chugging model has lo w rise jeans complete with muffin tops, for that extra something to hold on to. She has a lower back tattoo, cuz she's kinda slutty like that. She drives a 1995 ford probe, and thinks she can dance better then you can. She comes complete with Drug Dealing Ken, who doesn't have a car or his license because he's on probation. Navel piercing sold separately Somersworth Barbie This Barbie comes with tangled hair and missing teeth. She is sporting LA Gear sneakers, tapered Jeans and a B.U.M equipment belly shirt. Somersworth Barbie is also available with Bearded Ken, who serves as her cousin/boyfriend. Seabrook Barbie This Barbie was available last Christmas as "North Shore Boston Barbie." She comes decked out head-to-toe in Pats and Sawx Geah from Wal-Maht. Sports a warm, healthy glow, even with the lights off. Don't piss her off, because she knows some people. Public Housing Apartment and BabyDaddy Ken sold separately. Hampton Barbie This Barbie is available from Memorial Day through Labor Day, sporting a string bikini top and cut-off, Daisy Duke shorts. She features a tribal tattoo on her ankle, a "tramp stamp" tattoo on her lower back and malignant melanoma scattered around her body. She fits perfectly on the back of Steak-Head Ken’s 800 CC Crotch Rocket, wearing sandals and no helmet. Med-Evac Helicopter Playset sold separately. Dover Barbie This Barbie is 25 years old with a liberal arts degree, but she spends her days making $5 coffee drinks for Stratham Barbie. She comes with a cheap purse, which doesn't matter because she'll lose it at Biddy Mulligan's on Saturday night, anyway. Man-Slut Ken Doll sold separately, although he never remembers to call her after he sneaks out of her apartment on Sunday morning. Epping Barbie This Barbie tips the scales at nearly 300 pounds, but it doesn't matter because she's about to start that new diet she saw on Maury Povich. Comes with lime green stretch pants and a pink hoodie with ketchup and mustard stains. She spends her evenings cruising Route 125 with Welfare Cheat Ken in his '87 Chevy Camaro, at least when it runs. |
| __________________________________ [Nov 14,2008 3:22pm - succubus ""] where's the portsmotuh one dammit??? |
| __________________________________________ [Nov 14,2008 3:39pm - largefreakatzero ""] Some of those are pretty funny and sadly true. |
| ______________________________________ [Nov 14,2008 3:56pm - the_reverend ""] the farmington barbie is spot on. Epping too. though Hampton barbie only fucking black ken now. |
| ______________________________________ [Nov 14,2008 3:57pm - the_reverend ""] raymond barbie would be epping barbie without the inbreeding. |
| ______________________________________________ [Nov 14,2008 4:03pm - BobNOMAAMRooney nli ""] LOL, Somersworth is such a shithole. |
| ______________________________________ [Nov 14,2008 4:22pm - the_reverend ""] never heard of that. is it next to scummersworth? |
| _____________________________________ [Nov 14,2008 7:00pm - druizard n ""] wow.thats pretty spot on. |
| __________________________________________ [Nov 14,2008 6:11pm - xCindyxBradyxMF ""] How the fuck did you move forward in time?! Look at my eyes not my tits when you're speaking to me. |
| _____________________________________ [Nov 14,2008 6:51pm - druizard n ""] i am from the future i guess |
| ______________________________________ [Nov 14,2008 6:54pm - the_reverend ""] yeah you were. |
| ___________________________________________ [Nov 14,2008 6:55pm - FuckIsMySignature ""] like whoa |
| _____________________________________ [Nov 14,2008 7:28pm - druizard n ""] [img] |
| __________________________________ [Nov 14,2008 8:41pm - rotivore ""] berlin barbie?.....no mention?.....that why i hate people |
| ______________________________________ [Nov 14,2008 8:42pm - the_reverend ""] oh my would she smell and not even know it. |
| ____________________________________ [Nov 14,2008 8:46pm - RichHorror ""] This joke is so old it invented the internet. |
| ______________________________________ [Nov 14,2008 8:48pm - the_reverend ""] you obviously have this guy confused with al gore. live free or die. |
| _______________________________________ [Nov 15,2008 9:17am - y_ddraig_goch ""] no nashua barbie? |