Did you ever shit yourself?[views:5149][posts:36]________________________________________ [Aug 7,2008 2:22pm - Conservationist ""] I was hanging with the homeys and it came out that most people have shat themselves. The women weren't elaborating, but they checked the box marked YES to this question. Has every person on earth shat himself or herself at least once as an adult? POST STORIES PLZ |
| ______________________________ [Aug 7,2008 2:25pm - aril ""] Are you kidding me? I do it ALL THE TIME. |
| __________________________________________ [Aug 7,2008 2:28pm - FuckIsMySignature ""] i'm doing it RIGHT NOW |
| ____________________________ [Aug 7,2008 2:29pm - ZJD ""] Have you ever tried to fart without really thinking it through? |
| ________________________________________ [Aug 7,2008 2:31pm - orgymaggotfeast ""] it usually only happens to people when they are sick or drunk....and it's usually just a shart, not a full-blown-shitting-of-the-pants. my buddy chris was drunk and playing hackey sack with these annoying hippy kids, and after doing some sort of show-offy spin kick garbage, i saw his facial expression turn from pointless pride to panic.....he stood completely still, and said "someone please get me a paper towel" he wiped, threw it in the fire, and went about his business. he told us his pants were clean because he "clenched and caught" the shart. me personally, one time when staying home sick from work, i was watching Jim Norton's "Monster Rain" dvd, and in the middle of laughing my ass off, i let out what i thought was a fart, instead, i ended up having to take a shower and clean my boxers in the bathroom sink |
| __________________________________________ [Aug 7,2008 2:32pm - FuckIsMySignature ""] ZJD said:Have you ever tried to fart without really thinking it through? you must navigate around the wall of shit. otherwise.... break on through |
| _________________________________ [Aug 7,2008 2:40pm - grizloch ""] I have not, but all of my friends have countless stories |
| _________________________________________ [Aug 7,2008 2:41pm - largefreakatzero ""] There are several other threads where I have shared my unpleasant accidental experiences. So, yes. |
| ______________________________ [Aug 7,2008 2:48pm - aril ""] The worst for me was when I was a freshman in highschool.. I sharted in the back of class and had to walk by everyone with shit in my pants. To this day, I still don't know if I was successful at hiding the fact I had a pile of green juice in my undershorts. |
| _____________________________________ [Aug 7,2008 2:56pm - the_reverend ""] I have twice. once as a freshmen in highschool blotting home with a case of the scoots soo bad that I was sweating. and a second in college when I drank an entire 1/2 gallon of 100% oj. |
| ______________________________ [Aug 7,2008 2:59pm - aril ""] yea right, I'm pretty sure the rev sharts when he's taking pics of bands |
| _________________________________________ [Aug 7,2008 3:03pm - corpus_colostomy ""] i dropped outta college and moved to wyoming. i really loved it out there, but i knew i had to go back home and get my degree. so..worked for a while, got in to college and when it came time to go to school, i packed up my rig and went northward. on the way up i found myself super hungry cause i was boozin and partying the night before, celebrating. what better way to cure my anxiety about going back to school and my hangover, than with breakfast at my grandfathers. he lived about half way...perfect. s0-i stopped by and we cranked about a pot and a half of coffee and he made two enormous sausage egg and cheese sangos. when i left his place i hit the backroads to smoke a bowl and cruise the country side. amidst thick introspection, i was awestruck. maybe going back to college would suck...maybe i'd be surrounded by rich little fuckers...maybe, maybe, maybe. all contemplation was amidst great "wind," and at one point, much to my dismay i hit the lottery so to speak. in which case wind became mudd. hovering over the seat of my jeep for many miles i finally found a mcdonalds....walked in pretty casual, hit the first stall, de-robed, and fired said undergarments emphatically to the wall..put my pants on and walked on, thinking proudly...college is gonna fucking rule! |
| ___________________________________ [Aug 7,2008 3:05pm - RichHorror ""] I never have, what a ridiculous question. |
| __________________________________________ [Aug 7,2008 3:07pm - FuckIsMySignature ""] lol "Wind Became Mud" = excellent band name |
| _____________________________ [Aug 7,2008 3:16pm - Yeti ""] the last time i legitimately shit myself was when i was like 9 and really sick. there have been times where i thought i sharted, but there was no shrapnel. i'm proud of my bowel control. i know a story about a girl who was camping and ate mushrooms, she was wearing a skirt and ended up shitting everywhere. FIMS knows the story. |
| ________________________________________ [Aug 7,2008 3:31pm - Conservationist ""] I have felt many a bubble, but never gotten one airborne. |
| __________________________________________ [Aug 7,2008 3:31pm - FuckIsMySignature ""] Yeti said: i know a story about a girl who was camping and ate mushrooms, she was wearing a skirt and ended up shitting everywhere. FIMS knows the story. i still refer to that poor girl as "Poopy Pants" whenver i see her or her name is brought up. |
| _________________________________________ [Aug 7,2008 4:57pm - SinisterMinister ""] You know it's funny, I had a conversation about this with a friend of mine about a few weeks ago. I hadn't done it in quite some time, which was what the conversation was about. Well, about a week later, I had gotten dressed for work, then was about to walk out the door when the fart struck me. Luckily, and magically, I hadn't soiled my underwear or pants. Nevertheless, I took a shower and went back to bed and called in for work. I don't know why, but shitting myself convinced me that I didn't have to go to work that day |
| _______________________________________ [Aug 7,2008 5:14pm - DestroyYouAlot ""] Happens to me with a disturbing frequency. But we're talking dribbles and mild sharting, here - I haven't had a log in the cargo hold since I was probably 5. |
| __________________________________________ [Aug 7,2008 5:28pm - FuckIsMySignature ""] you suffer from anal leakage. may i suggest a buttplug? |
| _____________________________________ [Aug 7,2008 5:49pm - the_reverend ""] bennyhillifier LAFFFFFFING!! |
| _________________________________ [Aug 7,2008 6:05pm - ScumFuck ""] FuckIsMySignature said: Yeti said: i know a story about a girl who was camping and ate mushrooms, she was wearing a skirt and ended up shitting everywhere. FIMS knows the story. i still refer to that poor girl as "Poopy Pants" whenver i see her or her name is brought up. yea that was in my backyard and i have never laughed so hard in my entire life, i was like 6 am after we had all been drinking all night. She actually had gone to sleep in a tent that FIMS's current roomate was already sleeping in then proceded to shit herself and while trying to clean herself up ended up spreading it everywhere. we sat back and watched as the girl who owned the tent starting slapping the girl who shit herself in the face repeatedly. Honestly probably the funniest thing i've ever witnessed |
| _________________________________ [Aug 7,2008 6:07pm - ScumFuck ""] Plus after all that she got into her brand new car that she had for less than a month and still managed to get shit all over the inside of the car. |
| __________________________________________ [Aug 7,2008 6:09pm - FuckIsMySignature ""] glorious |
| ___________________________________ [Aug 7,2008 6:47pm - NoodleFace ""] I only shit my pants twice. Once I was sick and swimming, tried to make it but didn't quite get there... It was awful because I was soaked and also just shit my pants, the most uncomfortable feeling. The other time I was on the playground at school and the stupid bitch person watching us wouldn't let me in to take a shit. Sat on a bench and chatted it up with some other dude whilst shitting my pants. I was afraid to go to the nurse so I walked around all day with a turd in my pants. No one ever said anything, somehow. We're talking full release too, someone had to have smelled it. My brother shit his pants in the best way possible. He can fart at will, that stupid trick where you suck air into your ass. You may have seen a guy do it on the howard stern show, it's exactly like that. He was doing it as a party trick at my neighbors house and was wearing some basketball shorts. Well.. he apparently did it for too long and clear shit right on the floor. Never went back there. |
| __________________________________________ [Aug 7,2008 6:53pm - FuckIsMySignature ""] haha |
| ____________________________________ [Aug 8,2008 8:40am - ouchdrummer ""] great, great thread first off.... and i have a couple times in my adult life, the worst of which driving an ikon (my work) van home from newark NJ and i was in connecticut somewhere on 84 when i sharted. In my suit. I was hovering for about 12miles due to it being late at night and nothing being open. I ended up wiping with a mapquest and tossing it roadside as i drove to avoid ruining my pants. Expensive suit. Ended up in a roy rogers, and it wasnt pretty. My pants were ok, but if i hadnt done acrobatics to get out without putting any pressure on my ass, i would've been buying a new suit. |
| ____________________________________ [Aug 8,2008 8:42am - ouchdrummer ""] and maybe even the worse story was: Smoking a dmt freebase pipe (couple months ago) and took an extra large hit, i had complete ego-death, the world pixelated, spiraled around me, and when i woke from my dream land (i assume about 5-7 minutes later) i found a present my trip had left in my pants for me. An actual nugget. It was pretty funny cause i was by myself. I guess it wouldve been funnier for other people to witness, but it was better for me that way. |
| ______________________________ [Aug 8,2008 10:38am - Yeti ""] ScumFuck said: FuckIsMySignature said: Yeti said: i know a story about a girl who was camping and ate mushrooms, she was wearing a skirt and ended up shitting everywhere. FIMS knows the story. i still refer to that poor girl as "Poopy Pants" whenver i see her or her name is brought up. yea that was in my backyard and i have never laughed so hard in my entire life, i was like 6 am after we had all been drinking all night. She actually had gone to sleep in a tent that FIMS's current roomate was already sleeping in then proceded to shit herself and while trying to clean herself up ended up spreading it everywhere. we sat back and watched as the girl who owned the tent starting slapping the girl who shit herself in the face repeatedly. Honestly probably the funniest thing i've ever witnessed now that is part of the story i didn't know. |
| ______________________________________ [Aug 8,2008 10:45am - Whoremastery ""] sure have..but it was after a surgery and i couldnt get out of the bed fast enough. |
| __________________________________________ [Aug 8,2008 10:52am - MassOfSlitz nli ""] Whoremastery said:sure have..but it was after a surgery and i couldnt get out of the bed fast enough. Me too, after pushing out a kid, I couldn't stand up at all. They gave me a shot of hemostat, (I think) to stop the hemorraging. It felt like the poop faucet was turned on full blast! After it happened twice, I told the nurse to just keep the bedpan under my ass. |
| ______________________________________ [Aug 8,2008 10:53am - the_reverend ""] did the nurse say "herro massofshits"? |
| ______________________________________ [Aug 8,2008 11:26am - Nobody_Cares ""] Y corpus_colostomy said:i when i left his place i hit the backroads to smoke a bowl and cruise the country side. amidst thick introspection, i was awestruck. maybe going back to college would suck...maybe i'd be surrounded by rich little fuckers...maybe, maybe, maybe. all contemplation was amidst great "wind," and at one point, much to my dismay i hit the lottery so to speak. in which case wind became mudd. hovering over the seat of my jeep for many miles i finally found a mcdonalds....walked in pretty casual, hit the first stall, de-robed, and fired said undergarments emphatically to the wall..put my pants on and walked on, thinking proudly...college is gonna fucking rule! Well told sir. I figured one with colostomy in their name would have a good shitting story. I've never let one slip by but one time in my girls car, I was driving and she was in the passenger. I hear "uh oh" and she's hovering and laughing. She's always having gastric problems and eats too much dairy. A little came out, no logs, but it left a small stain on the seat. We were just talking about it the other day, wonder if the stain is still there?... |
| ______________________________ [Aug 8,2008 12:42pm - Yeti ""] i am shocked at the amount of people that fairly regularly lose control of their bowels. |
| __________________________________________ [Aug 8,2008 1:08pm - FuckIsMySignature ""] poor diets = loose bowels. |
| _________________________________ [Aug 8,2008 3:26pm - ScumFuck ""] i only ever came close once at a concert at the tweeter center, i was pissing in the woods and tried to fart, had to clinch the cheeks and mozey on over to the portapottie but i made it and managed to not make any mess in me skivies... |
| _________________________________ [Aug 8,2008 3:27pm - ScumFuck ""] and yes i was shitfaced-hammer drunk |