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Rich Horror, you are now a god.

[views:94014][posts:125]
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[Mar 24,2008 6:44pm - menstrual_sweatpants_disco ""]
[img]
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[Mar 24,2008 6:44pm - menstrual_sweatpants_disco ""]
I can't say how many times I've jerked off to this.
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[Mar 24,2008 6:53pm - ZJD ""]
I am lolling out loud right now.
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[Mar 24,2008 6:55pm - dreadkill ""]
mike, are you in blackface, or is that a shadow?
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[Mar 24,2008 6:55pm - dreadkill ""]
it's creepy that rich can get that thing almost balls deep
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[Mar 24,2008 7:01pm - menstrual_sweatpants_disco ""]
i'll post another one later od him with the balls in his mouth and him flopping the dick around.
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[Mar 24,2008 7:05pm - Dave_Maggot ""]
did you guys find it or is this old?
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[Mar 24,2008 7:08pm - dreadkill ""]
me and my roommate have been laughing at this for minutes now.
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[Mar 24,2008 7:20pm - shultze  ""]
i just puked a little in my mouth...
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[Mar 24,2008 7:22pm - AUTOPSY_666 ""]
I'm next!
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[Mar 24,2008 8:09pm - RichHorror ""]
mikeposted (6:43:22 PM): happy birthday
mikeposted (6:43:40 PM): http://img143.imageshack.us/img143/8498/animation1pd1.gif
Cowmaximus (8:09:02 PM): I hate myself and am quitting
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[Mar 24,2008 8:38pm - Dankill  ""]
Rich says: BLargagrrrughusfllsuh!
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[Mar 24,2008 8:40pm - RichHorror ""]
I can no longer in all good conscience be a member of this band.
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[Mar 24,2008 9:02pm - Murph nli  ""]
I like the way you twist the dong on the way out.

Gonna suggest that manuever to my lady friend.

Gay? A little.
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[Mar 24,2008 9:09pm - the_reverend ""]
I like how msd is all "oh hi, i upgraded your ramz" there.
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[Mar 24,2008 9:19pm - RichHorror ""]
Murph, make sure you tell you got the technique from a fat skinhead.
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[Mar 24,2008 9:23pm - Hungtableed  ""]

menstrual_sweatpants_disco said:[img]


Hahahaha, talk about a typical fat kid who only does fucked up shit for laughs. Too bad that there is nothing funny about a dude sucking a dildo like its a cock. You're a fucking queer and that's all there is to say about that. There is no argument otherwise...if you try to make one then you are only lying to your self.
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[Mar 24,2008 9:24pm - RichHorror ""]
Hahahaha, talk about a guy who would never say shit to my face.
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[Mar 24,2008 9:26pm - Hungtableed  ""]
Of coarse I would.
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[Mar 24,2008 9:26pm - Hungtableed  ""]
Dude, you suck dildos...

am I supposed to be intimidated?
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[Mar 24,2008 9:26pm - Pires ""]
Rich finally had the balls to do what we all want to do in life...only this time it wasn't coming from his asshole...I commend you fine sir...
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[Mar 24,2008 9:27pm - RichHorror ""]
Prove me wrong, ever. You won't. All the shows I book are present enough on this board. I'll put you on the guest list.
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[Mar 24,2008 9:31pm - Hungtableed  ""]
hahahahaha, someone is a wee bit embarrassed about the fact that the world found out (via the interweb) that he is queer enough to suck a rubber dick.

What do you have to say about that? I guess it's all the coke which, like ecstasy, makes you gayer than the easter bunny. Did you go for an easter egg hunt yesterday?
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[Mar 24,2008 9:31pm - archaeon ""]
I think the funny part is that MSD appears just as he starts to slide the dick in his mouth. it's his calling!
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[Mar 24,2008 9:32pm - RichHorror ""]
I did it on camera, you fucking hayseed. Yeah, I'm totally shocked it was 'found out'. Go pretend to be in the military even though you couldn't make the cut.
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[Mar 24,2008 9:33pm - swamplorddvm ""]
oh good god!

making me drip.
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[Mar 24,2008 9:34pm - Hungtableed  ""]
Aigght dude. You suck dildos, fag...why not suck a real one and prove your homosexuality. You're obviously a taker...
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[Mar 24,2008 9:36pm - RichHorror ""]
Why not join the real marines? You talk about the armed forces so much yet can't get over there and fight for your country. Why is that?
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[Mar 24,2008 9:41pm - Hungtableed  ""]
I'm not going to go in the armed services because I already love what I do. If I were even remotely as pathetic as one who would suck dildos like they were fleshy dicks I would be willing to do anything to get away from my current life status.
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[Mar 24,2008 9:43pm - RichHorror ""]
In other words, you are too chickenshit to do anything but yell USA USA behind a computer screen.
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[Mar 24,2008 9:50pm - Hungtableed  ""]
...dude...you suck dildos like they're a cocks.

Your opinion on the matter of being "chickenshit" or even being a "pussy" for that matter is therefor completely nullified, forever.
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[Mar 24,2008 11:01pm - ellesarusrex ""]
rich is fun... anyone who is a prude about having fun can eat a bowl of dicks.. he did it for a laugh.. so laugh an/or shut your trap
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[Mar 24,2008 11:06pm - Dave_Maggot ""]
yeah, i smacked that dildo around, its mystifying. if its in your general area you just gotta pick it up. take it for a walk, tell it your best jokes, practice fencing with it. if messing with that dildo makes you gay. then gosh darn it. composted are a whole bunch of grade A-fairies. and i can live with that. i sure can.
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[Mar 24,2008 11:06pm - Murph nli  ""]
Wow, jokes really get lost on some people.

Homophobic people are the most unfunny, uninteresting people ever.

PS. I know you love AMERICA dude, but maybe you should move to Iran. I heard in the news there are "no homsexuals" over there.
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[Mar 24,2008 11:50pm - dreadkill ""]
i get sad when i read about people who lack a sense of humor. having no sense of humor is like not being able to have an orgasm. it really makes life suck. rich is a funny guy and the stuff he does is entertaining. if you can't laugh at goofy shit, how do you enjoy your life?
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[Mar 25,2008 12:03am - menstrual_sweatpants_disco ""]
Alright, I feel bad because this is all out of context now. Rich did this dumb shit on camera during practice to make his friends crack up. That's it. And crack up we did. I shouldn't have posted it here.

Secondly, HungtaBleed is a pussy and WILL NEVER confront anybody in person with the shit he's saying here. I think everybody obviously knows this. Therefore, his opinion is totally invalid. Fuck him. Has anybody even met this clown in real life? He's useless.
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[Mar 25,2008 12:23am - narkybark ""]
now I know how rich can pay me next time.
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[Mar 25,2008 12:25am - RichHorror ""]
Yeah, because getting paid $60 for our first show at a venue is obviously HORSESHIT.
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[Mar 25,2008 12:29am - the_reverend ""]
rich will show you how gay he is when he gets drunk and sucks your fucking dix.
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[Mar 25,2008 12:31am - RichHorror ""]
Yep, all the time.
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[Mar 25,2008 12:31am - the_reverend ""]
rich sucking dix is pure comic gold.
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[Mar 25,2008 12:32am - RichHorror ""]
Yeah, I'm laughing already. Which fits since I'm an apparent laughingstock.
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[Mar 25,2008 12:37am - the_reverend ""]
you aren't a staughinglock, you are just a faggot.
I just figure that everyone from mass is a faggot.. I mean, it is mass, right?
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[Mar 25,2008 12:39am - RichHorror ""]
You got it.
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[Mar 25,2008 12:40am - RichHorror ""]
<bartlesandjames>Thank you for your support.</bartlesandjames>
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[Mar 25,2008 12:59am - mortalis ""]

menstrual_sweatpants_disco said:
Secondly, HungtaBleed is a pussy and WILL NEVER confront anybody in person with the shit he's saying here. I think everybody obviously knows this. Therefore, his opinion is totally invalid. Fuck him. Has anybody even met this clown in real life? He's useless.



he was actually pretty nice when grant and i met him at a show at that mill street brews place. least i think that was him.

then again, we weren't having anti-american gay sex at the time. that was when we got home.
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[Mar 25,2008 2:22am - narkybark ""]

RichHorror said:Yeah, because getting paid $60


I wasn't talking about money. I want some TLC, and now I know you can deliver it.
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[Mar 25,2008 2:23am - narkybark ""]
I mean, just look at that. It's like someone eating an eclaire, in reverse.
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[Mar 25,2008 2:24am - deadlikemurf ""]
someone needs to make msd's head pedo bear. now.

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[Mar 25,2008 2:28am - RichHorror ""]
I'm so glad I give so many new bands a shot at a good show and exposure. This really makes all my hard work worthwhile.
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[Mar 25,2008 3:59am - thegreatspaldino ""]
i dont know rich personally at all and i am really drubk, but if you have a problem with him for reason... i will fuck you up. believe it.
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[Mar 25,2008 4:06am - RichHorror ""]
I'm over it. Thank you, Xanax.
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[Mar 25,2008 5:10am - Hungtableed  ""]
All I hear while reading through this is:
I have sand in my dick hole

I'm just being a ball buster. No one has caught on yet that it is what I do around here? Also, I like throwing the word fag around here because everyone gets their panties in knot like I just said something about their religion. OMFG, he-th's a homophobe guy-ths...that-th's pathetic. I'm th-so pro-gay I'll th-suck a rubber dick. Sorry I rained on your gay parade, you are free to laugh about dude's who suck rubber schlongs again...
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[Mar 25,2008 6:59am - GodlessRob ""]
I was actually sickened to my stomach when I saw this and NOT for the reasons previously mentioned.
I have heard stories of what goes on with that thing at practices and all I can say Rich is...
...I hope you washed that thing off before you put it in your mouth!:pukeface::pukeface::LOL:
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[Mar 25,2008 8:32am - menstrual_sweatpants_disco ""]
and wash away the flavor!?
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[Mar 25,2008 9:22am - now in kadoog-a-vision!  ""]
[img]
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[Mar 25,2008 9:23am - MassOfSLITZnli  ""]
honestly, I thought it was a pickle... ehhhhh
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[Mar 25,2008 9:26am - RichHorror ""]
That thing gets sanitized more than an operating room.
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[Mar 25,2008 2:54pm - RichHorror ""]
Ok, back pedalling coward. I recall you saying you'd say the shit to my face. I don't see it happening. Thanks to asking around, I know what you look like, you skinny shrimp cunt. The fact remains that you are too much of a fucking pussy to do fight for your beliefs aside from hiding behind a computer screen. At least I was only joking, while you are a chickenshit faggot that talks big on the way but has no balls to serve for his country.
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[Mar 25,2008 2:56pm - RichHorror ""]
Also, Aaron. Nice job making fun of me along with this cocksucker when I support you and your site every fucking day and in everyway I can. Nice slap to my face. Fuck you.
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[Mar 25,2008 3:01pm - the_reverend ""]
made fun? I was supporting your gayness.
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[Mar 25,2008 3:01pm - W3 nli  ""]
[img]
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[Mar 25,2008 3:02pm - RichHorror ""]
Yeah, ok.
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[Mar 25,2008 3:02pm - dreadkill ""]
i think aaron actually was joking.
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[Mar 25,2008 3:03pm - RichHorror ""]
Yeah, let's all make nice so no one has their feelings hurt. Cunts.
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[Mar 25,2008 3:05pm - RichHorror ""]
I still want to know where you're gonna step up like a man and call me a faggot to my face, you backwoods cunt.
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[Mar 25,2008 3:11pm - RichHorror ""]
You're some skinny midget that thinks he's in the army. You talk like a big man about killing the sand niggers. Don't you love to fight? I do. Let's do this, faggot.
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[Mar 25,2008 3:11pm - RichHorror ""]
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahha
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[Mar 25,2008 3:13pm - W3 nli  ""]
KILL THAT MOTHERFUCKER GETT'EM GETT'EM HE'S GETTING AWAY, SOMEBODY KILL'EM
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[Mar 25,2008 3:20pm - RichHorror ""]
e-drama is hilarious
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[Mar 25,2008 3:21pm - W3 nli  ""]
FISHES :HUMP:
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[Mar 25,2008 3:23pm - ZJD ""]
Where the fuck is Hoser?

Also, if sucking a fake dick didn't give Rich a boner, he is not gay.
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[Mar 25,2008 3:24pm - W3 nli  ""]
[img]
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[Mar 25,2008 3:31pm - Mucko ""]

W3%20nli said:[img]


You are fucking dead! Now I have that chewy candy fish feeling in my teeth and no money. I am going to punch you in your cock from my wheelchair.
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[Mar 25,2008 3:35pm - W3 nli  ""]
that sounds intense.......

but
[img]
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[Mar 25,2008 3:37pm - Mucko ""]
Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! 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Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Di

post was too long read more at your own risk

 _______________________________
[Mar 25,2008 3:40pm - Mucko ""]
[Index to the Anarchist Cookbook IV, ver. 4.14]
COOKBOOK.IV: Intro by Exodus
001: Counterfeiting Money
002: Credit Card Fraud
003: Making Plastic Explosives from Bleach
004: Picking Master Locks
005: The Arts of Lockpicking I
006: The Arts of Lockpicking II
007: Solidox Bombs
008: High Tech Revenge: The Beigebox (NEW Revision 4.14)
009: CO2 Bombs
010: Thermite Bombs (NEW Rivision, 4.14)
011: Touch Explosives
012: Letter Bombs
013: Paint Bombs
014: Ways to send a car to HELL
015: Do ya hate school? (NEW Revision, 4.14)
016: Phone related vandalism
017: Highway police radar jamming
018: Smoke Bombs
019: Mail Box Bombs
020: Hotwiring cars
021: Napalm
022: Fertilizer Bomb
023: Tennis Ball Bomb
024: Diskette Bombs
025: Unlisted Phone Numbers (NEW Revision, 4.14)
026: Fuses
027: How to make Potassium Nitrate
028: Exploding Lightbulbs
029: Under water igniters
030: Home-brew blast cannon
031: Chemical Equivalency List
032: Phone Taps
033: Landmines
034: A different kind of Molitov Cocktail
035: Phone Systems Tutorial I
036: Phone Systems Tutorial II
037: Basic Alliance Teleconferencing
038: Aqua Box Plans
039: Hindenberg Bomb
040: How to Kill Someone with your Bare Hands
041: Phone Systems Tutorial III
042: Black Box Plans
043: The Blotto Box
044: Blowgun
045: Brown Box Plans
046: Calcium Carbide Bomb
047: More Ways to Send a Car to Hell
048: Ripping off Change Machines (NEW Revision, 4.14)
049: Clear Box Plans
050: CNA Number Listing
051: Electronic Terrorism
052: How to Start a Conference w/o 2600hz or M-F
053: Dynamite
054: Auto Exhaust Flame Thower
055: How to Break into BBS Express
056: Firebomb
057: Fuse Bomb
058: Generic Bomb
059: Green Box Plans
060: Portable Grenade Launcher
061: Basic Hacking Tutorial I
062: Basic Hacking Tutorial II
063: Hacking DEC's
064: Harmless Bombs
065: Breaking into Houses (NEW Revision, 4.14)
066: Hypnotism
067: Remote Informer Issue #1
068: Jackpotting ATM Machines
069: Jug Bomb
070: Fun at K-Mart
071: Mace Substitute
072: How to Grow Marijuana
073: Match Head Bomb
074: Terrorizing McDonalds
075: "Mentor's" Last Words
076: The Myth of the 2600hz Detector
077: Blue Box Plans (Ye' olde Favorite)
078: Napalm II
079: Nitroglycerin Recipe
080: Operation: Fuckup
081: Stealing Calls from Payphones
082: Pool Fun (NEW Revision, 4.14)
083: Free Postage
084: Unstable Explosives
085: Weird Drugs
086: The Art of Carding
087: Recognizing Credit Cards
088: How to Get a New Identity
089: Remote Informer Issue #2
090: Remote Informer Issue #3
091: Remote Informer Issue #4
092: Remote Informer Issue #5
093: Phreaker's Guide to Loop Lines
094: Ma-Bell Tutorial
095: Getting Money out of Pay Phones
096: Computer-based PBX
097: PC-Pursuit Port Statistics
098: Pearl Box Plans
099: The Phreak File
100: Red Box Plans
101: RemObs
102: Scarlet Box Plans
103: Silver Box Plans
104: Bell Trashing
105: Canadian WATS Phonebook
106: Hacking TRW
107: Hacking VAX & UNIX
108: Verification Circuits
109: White Box Plans
110: The BLAST Box
111: Dealing with the Rate & Route Operator
112: Cellular Phone Phreaking
113: Cheesebox Plans
114: How to Start Your Own Conferences
115: Gold Box Plans
116: The History of ESS
117: The Lunch Box
118: Olive Box Plans
119: The Tron Box
120: More TRW Info
121: "Phreaker's Phunhouse"
122: Phrack Magazine - Vol. 3, Issue 27 (Intro to MIDNET)
123: Phrack Magazine - Vol. 3, Issue 27 (The Making of a Hacker)
124: Phrack Magazine - Vol. 3, Issue 28 (Network Miscellany)
125: Phrack Magazine - Vol. 3, Issue 28 (Pearl Box Schematic)
126: Phrack Magazine - Vol. 3, Issue 28 (Snarfing Remote Files)
127: Phrack Magazine - Vol. 3, Issue 30 (Western Union, Telex, TWX & Time Service)
128: Phrack Magazine - Vol. 3, Issue 30 (Hacking & Tymnet)
129: Phrack Magazine - Vol. 3, Issue 30 (The DECWRL Mail Gateway)
130: Sodium Chlorate
131: Mercury Fulminate
132: Improvised Black Powder
133: Nitric Acid
134: Dust Bomb Instructions
135: Carbon-Tet Explosive
136: Making Picric Acid from Aspirin
137: Reclamation of RDX from C-4 Explosives
138: Egg-based Gelled Flame Fuels
139: Clothespin Switch
140: Flexible Plate Switch
141: Low Signature Systems (Silencers)
142: Delay Igniter From Cigarette
143: Nicotine
144: Dried Seed Timer
145: Nail Grenade
146: Bell Glossary
147: Phone Dial Locks -- How to Beat'em
148: Exchange Scanning
149: A Short History of Phreaking
150: "Secrets of the Little Blue Box" (story)
151: The History of British Phreaking
152: "Bad as Shit" (story)
153: Telenet
154: Fucking with the Operator
155: Phrack Magazine - Vol. 1, Issue 1 (The Phone Preak's Fry-Um Guide)
156: International Country Code Listing
157: Infinity Transmitter Schematic and Plans
158: LSD
159: Bananas
160: Yummy Marihuana Recipes
161: Peanuts
162: Chemical Fire Bottle
163: Igniter from Book Matches
164: "Red or White Powder" Propellant
165: Pipe Hand Grenade
166: European Credit Card Fraud (Written by Creditman! A Cookbook IV Recap!!)
167: Potassium Bomb
168: Your Legal Rights (For adults, or some of us think we are)
169: Juvenile Offenders' Rights
170: Down The Road Missle
171: Fun With ShotGunn Shells
172: Surveillance Equipment
173: Drip Timer
174: Stealing
175: Miscellaneous
176: Shaving cream bomb
177: Ripping off change machines 2
178: Lockpicking the EASY way
179: Anarchy 'N' Explosives Prelude
180: Anarchy 'N' Explosives Vol. 1
181: Anarchy 'N' Explosives Vol. 2
182: Anarchy 'N' Explosives Vol. 3
183: Anarchy 'N' Explosives Vol. 4
184: Anarchy 'N' Explosives Vol. 5
185: Explosives and Propellants
186: Lockpicking 3
187: Chemical Equivalent List 2
188: Nitroglycerin 2
189: Cellulose Nitrate
190: Starter Explosives
191: Flash Powder
192: Exploding Pens
193: Revised Pipe Bombs 4.14
194: * SAFETY * A MUST READ!
195: Ammonium TriIodide
196: Sulfuric Acid / Ammonium Nitrate III
197: Black Powder 3
198: Nitrocellulose
199: R.D.X. (Revised 4.14)
200: The Black Gate BBS
201: ANFOS
202: Picric Acid 2
203: Bottled Explosives
204: Dry Ice
205: Fuses / Ignitors / Delays
206: Film Canister Bombs
207: Book Bombs
208: Phone Bombs
209: Special Ammunition
210: Rocketry
211: Pipe Cannon 2
212: Smoke Bombs 4.14
213: Firecrackers
214: Suppliers II
215: Lab-Raid Checklist
216: Misc. Anarchy
217: LockPicking 4
218: Misc. Anarchy II
219: -* THERMITE 4 *- <-- The BEST rev. to 4.14
220: Conclusion
Look for the NEXT Edition of The Anarchist CookBook!!
-=> Exodus <=-_
Counterfeiting Money by JRoger
Before reading this article, it would be a very good idea to get a
book on photo offset printing, for this is the method used in
counterfeiting US currency. If you are familiar with this method
of printing, counterfeiting should be a simple task for you.
Genuine currency is made by a process called "gravure", which
involves etching a metal block. Since etching a metal block is
impossible to do by hand, photo offset printing comes into the
process.
Photo offset printing starts by making negatives of the currency
with a camera, and putting the negatives on a piece of masking
material (usually orange in color). The stripped negatives,
commonly called "flats", are then exposed to a lithographic plate
with an arc light plate maker. The burned plates are then
developed with the proper developing chemical. One at a time,
these plates are wrapped around the plate cylinder of the press.
The press to use should be an 11 by 14 offset, such as the AB Dick
360. Make 2 negatives of the portrait side of the bill, and 1 of
the back side. After developing them and letting them dry, take
them to a light table. Using opaque on one of the portrait sides,
touch out all the green, which is the seal and the serial numbers.
The back side does not require any retouching, because it is all
one color. Now, make sure all of the negatives are registered
(lined up correctly) on the flats. By the way, every time you
need another serial number, shoot 1 negative of the portrait side,
cut out the serial number, and remove the old serial number from
the flat replacing it with the new one.
Now you have all 3 flats, and each represents a different color:
black, and 2 shades of green (the two shades of green are created
by mixing inks). Now you are ready to burn the plates. Take a
lithographic plate and etch three marks on it. These marks must
be 2 and 9/16 inches apart, starting on one of the short edges.
Do the same thing to 2 more plates. Then, take 1 of the flats and
place it on the plate, exactly lining the short edge up with the
edge of the plate. Burn it, move it up to the next mark, and
cover up the exposed area you have already burned. Burn that, and
do the same thing 2 more times, moving the flat up one more mark.
Do the same process with the other 2 flats (each on a separate
plate). Develop all three plates. You should now have 4 images
on each plate with an equal space between each bill.
The paper you will need will not match exactly, but it will do for
most situations. The paper to use should have a 25% rag content.
By the way, Disaperf computer paper (invisible perforation) does
the job well. Take the paper and load it into the press. Be sure
to set the air, buckle, and paper thickness right. Start with the
black plate (the plate without the serial numbers). Wrap it
around the cylinder and load black ink in. Make sure you run more
than you need because there will be a lot of rejects. Then, while
that is printing, mix the inks for the serial numbers and the back
side. You will need to add some white and maybe yellow to the
serial number ink. You also need to add black to the back side.
Experiment until you get it right. Now, clean the press and print
the other side. You will now have a bill with no green seal or
serial numbers. Print a few with one serial number, make another
and repeat. Keep doing this until you have as many different
numbers as you want. Then cut the bills to the exact size with a
paper cutter. You should have printed a large amount of money by
now, but there is still one problem; the paper is pure white. To
dye it, mix the following in a pan: 2 cups of hot water, 4 tea
bags, and about 16 to 20 drops of green food coloring (experiment
with this). Dip one of the bills in and compare it to a genuine
US bill. Make the necessary adjustments, and dye all the bills.
Also, it is a good idea to make them look used. For example,
wrinkle them, rub coffee grinds on them, etc.
As before mentioned, unless you are familiar with photo offset
printing, most of the information in this article will be fairly
hard to understand. Along with getting a book on photo offset
printing, try to see the movie "To Live and Die in LA". It is
about a counterfeiter, and the producer does a pretty good job of
showing how to counterfeit. A good book on the subject is "The
Poor Man's James Bond".
If all of this seems too complicated to you, there is one other
method available for counterfeiting: The Canon color laser
copier. The Canon can replicate ANYTHING in vibrant color,
including US currency. But, once again, the main problem in
counterfeiting is the paper used. So, experiment, and good luck!
-= Exodus =-
_Credit Card Fraud:
-----------------
For most of you out there, money is hard to come by. Until now:
With the recent advent of plastic money (credit cards), it is
easy to use someone else's credit card to order the items you have
always desired in life. The stakes are high, but the payoff is
worth it.
Step One: Getting the credit card information
First off, you must obtain the crucial item: someone's credit
card number. The best way to get credit card numbers is to take
the blue carbons used in a credit card transaction at your local
department store. These can usually be found in the garbage can
next to the register, or for the more daring, in the garbage
dumpster behind the store. But, due to the large amount of credit
card fraud, many stores have opted to use a carbonless transaction
sheet, making things much more difficult. This is where your
phone comes in handy.
First, look up someone in the phone book, and obtain as much
information as possible about them. Then, during business hours,
call in a very convincing voice - "Hello, this is John Doe from
the Visa Credit Card Fraud Investigations Department. We have
been informed that your credit card may have been used for
fraudulent purposes, so will you please read off the numbers
appearing on your Visa card for verification." Of course, use
your imagination! Believe it or not, many people will fall for
this ploy and give out their credit information.
Now, assuming that you have your victim's credit card number, you
should be able to decipher the information given.
Step Two: Recognizing information from carbon copies
Card examples:
[American Express]
XXXX XXXXXX XXXXX
MM/Y1 THRU MM/Y2
JOE SHMOE
[American Express]
XXXX XXXXXX XXXXX
MM/Y1 THRU MM/Y2
JOE SHMOE
Explanation:
MM/Y1 is the date the card was issued, and MM/Y2 is the
expiration date. The American Express Gold Card has numbers
XXXXXX XXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX, and is covered for up to $5000.00,
even if the card holder is broke.
[Mastercard]
5XXX XXXX XXXX XXXX
XXXX AAA DD-MM-YY MM/YY
JOE SHMOE
Explanation:
XXXX in the second row may be asked for during the ordering
process. The first date is when the card was new, and the
second is when the card expires. The most frequent number
combination used is 5424 1800 XXXX XXXX. There are many of
these cards in circulation, but many of these are on wanted
lists, so check these first.
[Visa]
4XXX XXX(X) XXX(X) XXX(X)
MM/YY MM/YY*VISA
JOE SHMOE
Explanation:
Visa is the most abundant card, and is accepted almost
everywhere. The "*VISA" is sometimes replaced with "BWG", or
followed with a special code. These codes are as follows:
[1] MM/YY*VISA V - Preferred Card
[2] MM/YY*VISA CV - Classic Card
[3] MM/YY*VISA PV - Premier Card
Preferred Cards are backed with money, and are much safer to
use. Classic Cards are newer, harder to reproduce cards with
decent backing. Premier Cards are Classic Cards with Preferred
coverage. Common numbers are 4448 020 XXX XXX, 4254 5123 6000
XXXX, and 4254 5123 8500 XXXX. Any 4712 1250 XXXX XXXX cards
are IBM Credit Union cards, and are risky to use, although
they are usually covered for large purchases.
Step Three: Testing credit
You should now have a Visa, Mastercard, or American Express
credit card number, with the victim's address, zip code, and phone
number. By the way, if you have problems getting the address,
most phone companies offer the Address Tracking Service, which is
a special number you call that will give you an address from a
phone number, at a nominal charge. Now you need to check the
balance of credit on the credit card (to make sure you don't run
out of money), and you must also make sure that the card isn't
stolen. To do this you must obtain a phone number that
businesses use to check out credit cards during purchases. If you
go to a department store, watch the cashier when someone makes a
credit card purchase. He/she will usually call a phone number,
give the credit information, and then give what is called a
"Merchant Number". These numbers are usually written down on or
around the register. It is easy to either find these numbers and
copy them, or to wait until they call one in. Watch what they
dial and wait for the 8 digit (usually) merchant number. Once you
call the number, in a calm voice, read off the account number,
merchant number, amount, and expiration date. The credit bureau
will tell you if it is ok, and will give you an authorization
number. Pretend you are writing this number down, and repeat it
back to them to check it. Ignore this number completely, for it
serves no real purpose. However, once you do this, the bank
removes dollars equal to what you told them, because the card was
supposedly used to make a purchase. Sometimes you can trick the
operator by telling her the customer changed his mind and decided
not to charge it. Of course, some will not allow this. Remember
at all times that you are supposed to be a store clerk calling to
check out the card for a purchase. Act like you are talking with
a customer when he/she "cancels".
Step Four: The drop
Once the cards are cleared, you must find a place to have the
package sent. NEVER use a drop more than once. The following are
typical drop sites:
[1] An empty house
An empty house makes an excellent place to send things. Send the
package UPS, and leave a note on the door saying, "UPS. I work
days, 8 to 6. Could you please leave the package on the back door
step?" You can find dozens of houses from a real estate agent by
telling them you want to look around for a house. Ask for a list
of twenty houses for sale, and tell them you will check out the
area. Do so, until you find one that suits your needs.
[2] Rent A Spot
U-Haul sometimes rents spaces where you can have packages sent and
signed for. End your space when the package arrives.
[3] People's houses
Find someone you do not know, and have the package sent there.
Call ahead saying that "I called the store and they sent the
package to the wrong address. It was already sent, but can you
keep it there for me?" This is a very reliable way if you keep
calm when talking to the people.
Do NOT try post office boxes. Most of the time, UPS will not
deliver to a post office box, and many people have been caught in
the past attempting to use a post office box. Also, when you have
determined a drop site, keep an eye on it for suspicious
characters and cars that have not been there before.
Step Five: Making the transaction
You should now have a reliable credit card number with all the
necessary billing information, and a good drop site.
The best place to order from is catalogues, and mail order houses.
It is in your best interest to place the phone call from a pay
phone, especially if it is a 1-800 number. Now, when you call,
don't try to disguise your voice, thinking you will trick the
salesperson into believing you are an adult. These folks are
trained to detect this, so your best bet is to order in your own
voice. They will ask for the following: name, name as it appears
on card, phone number, billing address, expiration date, method of
shipping, and product. Ask if they offer UPS Red shipping (next
day arrival), because it gives them less time to research an
order. If you are using American Express, you might have a bit of
a problem shipping to an address other than the billing address.
Also, if the salesperson starts to ask questions, do NOT hang up.
Simply talk your way out of the situation, so you won't encourage
investigation on the order.
If everything goes right, you should have the product, free of
charge. Insurance picks up the tab, and no one is any wiser. Be
careful, and try not to order anything over $500. In some states,
UPS requires a signature for anything over $200, not to mention
that anything over $200 is defined as grand theft, as well as
credit fraud. Get caught doing this, and you will bite it for a
couple of years. Good luck!
First compiled in JRII..
-= Exodus =-_
Making Plastic Explosives from Bleach by The Jolly Roger
Potassium chlorate is an extremely volatile explosive compound,
and has been used in the past as the main explosive filler in
grenades, land mines, and mortar rounds by such countries as
France and Germany. Common household bleach contains a small
amount of potassium chlorate, which can be extracted by the
procedure that follows.
First off, you must obtain:
[1] A heat source (hot plate, stove, etc.)
[2] A hydrometer, or battery hydrometer
[3] A large Pyrex, or enameled steel container (to weigh
chem

post was too long read more at your own risk

 ____________________________________
[Mar 25,2008 3:40pm - RichHorror ""]
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Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die!

post was too long read more at your own risk

 _______________________________
[Mar 25,2008 3:41pm - Mucko ""]
100 Ways To Disappear
And Live Free
(C) 1972 Eden Press
Revised 1985
Typed by Struct Def
For other privacy oriented publications, write
EDEN PRESS
P.O. BOX 8410
FOUNTAIN VALLEY, CA 92708
INTRODUCTION
To "live free" means to be able to control your own life
and to avoid violence, or the threat of violence, by others.
What you do and how you do it will almost always determine
whether or not freedom will be yours. But YOU must take the
responsibility for creating your own freedom. No one,
especially the "government" will do it for you.
To "disappear" means to make it impossible for other
people to invade your personal world of freedom. Since most
of such invasion is by means of electronic data gathering and
cross-referencing, you must be able to short-circuit these
procedures effectively.
The most efficient method today is through the use of
what we call "alternate identification". If the new names
and numbers you plug into the networks don't match
the old ones, you have not only "disappeared", but have also
been "reborn". And being reborn means leaving your past records
where they can no longer affect you and your lifestyle.
This "disappearing" of individuals is obviously discomforting
to institutions and governments determined to control
personal activities in the Land of the Free. To them
it appears downright seditious, since in reality their power
depends directly on the number of people they can control --
through computerized records, of course.
To those who actually "disappear", however, the act is
one of tremendous personal liberation. Free men owe very
little to those who restrict opportunities on the basis of past
records. An extreme example, which nevertheless applies
to all of us, is this: When a person convicted of a felony
has served his full sentence, is he then "free"? Hardly.
What he will experience is really a LIFE SENTENCE of second-rate
opportunity.
And what happens to the convict, in practice, happens to
*everyone* who manages to have negative personal information
placed in his "records". When it comes to the point of a
person's having to live with a condemning past and ever-
narrowing opportunities, it becomes easily understandable
why he should be willing and anxious to scuttle his labeled
identity and take on another.
Becoming a new identity, however, involves many things
and requires careful attention to detail, as we shall show.
At the heart of this process, though, is the ATTITUDE a person
must assume if he is to make it work. He must forget
about his "government"; he must become his own government,
answerable only to himself, with his own rules, laws, and
systems of behavior. This is an existential "moment" few
are disciplined enough to experience, but it can be done.
The result will be a growing detachment from BIG BROTHER and
a correspoding increase of personal freedom.
The individual needn't worry about what would happen "if
everybody else did this" because they WON'T. The object is
for individuals, acting as individuals, to declare their
mental independence from whatever System is attempting to
enslave them. As individuals they are the best judges of what
degree of slavery they can accept, how far down the road
they can go before becoming robots for BIG BROTHER. Simply
put, it's the Sheep and the Wolves. The Sheep go to slaughter,
the Wolves wherever they wish...
There are numerous intermediate tactics between total
compliance and complete disappearance, such as refusing to
give your Social Security number (or giving it incorrectly),
avoiding taxes, obtaining several foreign citizenships and
passports, setting up bank accounts in several other countries,
and planning at least two routes of escape to other countries,
but in the end you will discover there really is no freedom
in the world -- *YOU MUST CREATE YOUR OWN*. You must
learn how to protect your own rights as you define them. No
one else will do it for you, *NO ONE*.
The object of this publication is to suggest ways an
individual can, in practice, escape his past and secure a
new future, *on his own terms*. Individuals will vary greatly
in how they carry out their disappearances, and it is our
hope that the ideas we present here are useful towards those
ends. We make no claims of completeness or of exhausting
the subject, as that could be potentially dangerous were
individuals to rely solely on this information.
We must stress that everyone should think over his situation
as carefully as possible, and then pick and choose
which among our methods are best suited for his needs. Above
all, he must begin using his head, trusting his hunches and
instincts, and thinking of himself as separate, different,
and even superior to those stuck in the System. He will
have to become a Wolf. He must stand alone to be free.
--Barry Reid
January 1978
II. LIVING FREE
Avoid attending church. If you must, however, use an alias when
attending, and make contributions in cash, never by check. If you are
asked by inquisitive neighbors what church you attend, either name one
of a different faith than theirs or deny interest completely. Give
the minister totally false information about yourself, as these good
folks are great gossips when approached by snoops.
Never tell neighbors where or for whom you work. Give them false
information on this subject. If you are paid by check, DON'T deposit
the paycheck in any account with your name on it. The best idea is to
go to the bank on which it is drawn and cash it there. If you make
a regular practice of this, avoid becoming familiar with any tellers
or other bank personnel. Vary the times and days for visiting the bank.
Visit different branches of the bank, too.
Another check cashing tip: avoid getting it cashed at your favorite
bar or tavern. FBI agents probably spend at least a third of their
working hours hanging around such places, as they seem to attract the
kinds of people they are looking for. Anytime there is a bank robbery,
the *first* places the FBI check out are all the bars within the immediate
vicinity of the robbery. Don't laugh. It's true because it works.
Be wary of answering "personal" ads in newspapers, as well as job
offers too neatly tailored to the type of work you did before disappearing.
If the ad calls for replying to a box number at the newspaper, disregard
totally: it's very likely to be a trap. Reply only to ads that can
guarantee not having to give yourself away, such as offers for appointments
at known companies. If phone numbers are provided in the ad, call only
from a pay phone. There's always a possibility you might be calling
directly to a bill collector or private investigator who will give
you enough patter to smoke you out.
For some really unique ways to find employment, Eden Press distributes
"HOW TO STEAL A JOB", literally every dishonest way there is to gain
honest employment. With the techniques in this book, YOU can call all
the shots. Well worth reading even for those who already have a job,
too. Someone could be gunning you. This book will open your eyes.
On the job, avoid giving background information to fellow workers.
If you're planning to stay on the job only for a short while, however, make
an effort to plant false and misleading information in the minds of the
other workers, such as your favorite pastimes, places you'd like to travel
to or live someday, and your plans for the future. Insulate your private
self by keeping your personal interests and ideas to yourself alone.
Share the spurious with the curious.
Don't subscribe to any local newspapers delivered by carriers.
Buy what you need at a newsrack. These cute kids have sometimes been
"helpful" sources of information about people's habits at home.
Don't be obvious in your living habits. Turn lights off at a decent
hour, keep stereo music from annoying neighbors, don't place empty
pony kegs on the front porch, and don't have pets that stray or annoy.
Don't do major engine overhauls in the driveway, either.
Be very careful about who comes to see you at your residence.
Avoid anything unusual which might spark the interest of neighbors.
If what you do or the people with whom you must deal are "interesting",
it might be best to arrange get-togethers elsewhere. Keep your nest
clean--good "criminal" advice.
Avoid using banks except for actually cashing checks given you by
other people. Try to conduct your affairs with cash and money orders.
When using the latter, never write your name on the face or the line
marked "Payer". Use fake names, account numbers, or business names.
For most purposes money orders can be considered "untraceable",
since the issuing institutions (American Express, banks, US Post Office)
file the paid orders *by number only*, not by other criteria which might
tend to give you away. People and businesses to whom you might remit
money orders virtually never record this number, either. They are
usually happy to be paid by money order and will consider it the same
as cash. Individuals wanting to hide income and/or otherwise disguise
their financial dealings find money orders most useful in shortchanging
the bandits at IRS, too.
Undertakers are another source like ministers, in that they are
good talkers. If you have to deal with one, be on your guard with what
you tell him. If you are called on to provide information for a death
certificate, give him only the data he actually needs. It should be
easy to appear too grief-stricken to want to chat...
Whenever you need the services of a physician, dentist, hospital, etc.,
make it standard practice to use an alias and an address other than where
you live. Pay in cash. Recite--don't display--your "driver's licence"
number and Social Security Number, making sure that they are totally fake.
Other data requested, such as employer, birthdate, etc., should be
misleading. Ignore the "warning" at the top of some hospital forms
that federal law requires honest information. We've never heard of
anyone getting busted for such a "crime" who also paid his bill. Fraud
is fraud, but identity is your business. Medical records are very
definitely NOT confidential. How else would life and health insurance
companies be able to decide so imperiously who "deserves" their coverage,
and at what rates...? For most people, medical insurance itself is a
fraud.
Don't have milk or other items delivered to you on a regular schedule.
The fewer people seen calling at you residence, the safer. Neighbors
will often notice home deliveries, which can prove to be fertile leads
for future snoops.
Avoid membership in political groups or other civic organizations.
As a rule these groups are filled with super sneaky, nosey individuals
more willing than not to stab someone in the back if it suits their
selfish purposes. Total snakes.
Arrange to have your mail sent to a 24-hour Post Office box, to a
mail drop, or a mail forwarding service. This way the only mail to be
left at your residence will be the "Occupant" variety. Make it a rule
NEVER to sign for certified or registered mail. Tell the carrier that
you are not the person named on the receipt, or that so-and-so moved
months ago. Where? Austria..... or was it Australia?
Avoid having arguments or run-ins with neighbors. An old, unresolved
grudge might be just the spark that sends an investigator to your
new location. "Getting even" is a passion few people can resist.
If a snoop is trying to trace you by telephone he may invite you to
call him person-to-person collect. *DON'T DO IT.* Ignore the request,
no matter what the excuse is. You might be tempted with some pie-in-
the-sky lie, but what he's really after is your *location*. If you don't
give yourself away in the conversation, he will simply call the operator
back for time and charges, and while she's at it, the location of
the telephone originating the call. She will be only too happy to help.
If you have to live in a motel, hotel, or nosey apartment complex,
always make it a point to be ordinaty and outwardly polite to any
employees on the premises. Give them no reason to remember you other
than as a normal person. Freaky behavior is easily noticed and
remembered by telephone operators, janitors, maids, superintendents,
house detectives, and bell boys. Tips make them TALK, too.
It's safest not to take in roomers or boarders, even though they can
help with expenses and provide companionship. The fact is, they
can get "too close" to you by picking up all kinds of information
tidbits which could come back to haunt you should certain kinds of
third parties start pumping them. Even though you might feel you
could trust them, it's very easy for a friend to give you away...
innocently.
In changing to a new identity within the same general area, make it
your policy to patronize none of the commercial establishments you
did before your name change. This would include service-oriented
businesses, too, such as shoe repairs, TV repairs, photographers,
cleaners, poodle parlors and massage parlors. If you or a member
of your family had been assisted by such charity organizations as the
March of Dimes or Community Chest, make sure that future aid is obtained
from some other organization.
If you need to have prescriptions filled often, do two things:
1) Have them filled by different pharmacies; don't patronize the same
one repeatedly, and, 2) Never give the pharmacist your correct address
and/or telephone number. If you are in need of continuing prescription,
such as for certain heart conditions or diabetes, consider having it
filled by mail from one of the large interstate mail-order pharmacies.
These outfits usually offer greatly reduced prices as well, as they
are willing to deal in generics, as opposed to strictly name-brand
drugs. Check 'em out.
Try to avoid all contact with law enforcement people. They are
like sponges whenever they deal with the public: they take in endless
quantities of information whether you are the victim or the perpetrator.
When approached by investigators and spies, they just love to spill out
all they know, and sometimes get in on the act themselves. Avoid trouble
and avoid cops.
Credit bureaus and department stores will have credit files on you
if you've used them in the past. It would be safest to avoid using credit
in the future, but if you need to get plugged back in the credit scene, it
would be advisable first to read our own book, "CREDIT", to
see how credit can be set up from scratch under new identity. This useful
book has the kind of inside information one needs to make the credit-
granting system perform to his special situation.
If you follow our suggestions regarding delivery of your mail, you
will naturally never accept any Registered or Certified mail at your
address. Since the carrier will never know your identity by leaving
only mail addressed "Occupant", you can safely tell him who you are
not whoever is named on the piece of mail he is trying to deliver. Don't
be rude or arrouse suspicion; simply help him do his job by telling him
there is no such person at your address. If he asks who *you* are, he's
out of line. He will return the letter marked "Unable to Deliver at this
Address", or "Unknown at this Address", or something else to the same
effect.
Sometimes snoops will address mail to a fictitious person "care of"
your last known name and address in the hopes it will be forwarded
(somehow), and that you will have the stupidity to return it to them
with your new address (provided by you). Any suspicious or unfamiliar
mail with your new address should simply be marked "Unknown", "Return to
Sender", etc., and deposited in a public mail box for return.
If the letter doesn't come back to the sender because you kept it
or chucked it, he may well try again with something more enticing, or
even pay a personal visit. Tracing by mail is the cheapest route for
snoopers, so be on the lookout for any mail you're not expecting or
seems the slightest bit suspicious. This will be the opening salvo
in any investigation to determine your whereabouts. *Watch your mail!*
Providing any information other that return instructions per above
can invite disaster, too. Putting on a fake forwarding address, or even
a "General Delivery" notice, will tell the sender, when the letter is
returned, that *someone* at the address on the letter knows more than he
does. The "Registered Letter", physical surveillance, or a personal
visit will be his next move. You can count on it.
Be especially watchful for any letters with an "Attorney's" return
address. They deserve no more respect than any other letter. If you're
not expecting correspondence from your own attorney, it's very likely a
fake name used by an investigator. This gambit is many times used on
third parties (close relatives of yours) in the hopes they know where
you really are and that they have the "courtesy" to forward the letter
to you. This is a good reason for you NOT to tell relatives where you
can be reached. If they don't know, they can't tell.
If you can trust a particular person to forward items to your P.O.
box or mail forwarding service, at least instruct them to place the
letter in another (cover) envelope so that no forwarding instructions are
on the face of the original envelope. You can decide what to do with
the mail when you get it. If you want it returned, do NOT drop it in a
box in your area--the stamp of the main post office near you will likely
be on the envelope, much to the glee of the sender. Either send it back
to your friend in still another envelope for him to remail locally, or
use a mail forwarding service in a distant city to remail per your
instructions. Again, *BE CAREFUL WITH YOUR MAIL*. Knowing how to deal
with your mail is vital to disappearing. Think first before acting!!
Avoid drawing attention to yourself. Don't exhibit "socially unacceptable"
behavior PUBLICLY. Cops are programmed to bust anyone who appears
"suspicious" (different from them). Jails, psycho wards, and prisons
aren't exactly "free"....
Your appearance, possessions and actions should always justify your
presence on a legitimate (conventional) basis. This is the best
way to avoid suspicion.
If you are stopped and questioned, always be able to give a reasonable
explanation of why you where there, where you are from, and where you
are going. Smile and be "helpful".
A sullen or hostile attitude triggers the cops for a bust--your bust.
So go ahead and "Kill the Pigs"--with kindness. You'll win by keeping
your freedom, dig?
Even perfectly legal behavior can arouse suspicion. Avoid such
things as solitary walks late at night, or wearing clothing inappropriate
for the weather. Store detectives love to follow shoppers wearing
oversized clothing, too. The police find it easy, even entertaining, to
pin stray raps on such "suspicious" characters. Days and weeks can go
by before they decide they've made a "mistake". Really!!
Examine your daily habits and eliminate any which might possibly be
regarded as "peculiar", especially if performed publicly.
Live in a large city where you can have the protection of anonymity.
Avoid small towns where the only sport is gossip--about you.
Your business should be no one else's.
Appear to be lower-middle class in your standard of living. Don't
attract the attention given the very poor or the obviously well-off.
Rent a house or apartment that appears "respectable", but no more
plush than the average cop can afford.
If you like to live it up, do it somewhere other than around where you
live and work. Try Las Vegas, New York, Jamaica, Tokyo, Fiji....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MAY WE RECOMMEND...?
If you're looking for those proverb

post was too long read more at your own risk

 _______________________________
[Mar 25,2008 3:41pm - Mucko ""]
STEAL THIS BOOK
By Abbie Hoffman
Dedicated to Jerry Lefcourt, Lawyer and Brother
Library of Congress number 72-157115 (stolen from Library of Congress)
copyright ©1971 PIRATE EDITIONS
TABLE OF DISCONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
AIDING AND ABETTING
SURVIVE!
1. FREE FOOD
Restaurants
Food Programs
Supermarkets
Wholesale Markets
Food Conspiracies
Cheap Chow
2. FREE CLOTHING AND FURNITURE
Free Clothing
Sandals
Free Furniture
3. FREE TRANSPORTATION
Hitch-Hiking
Freighting
Cars
Buses
Airlines
In City Travel
4. FREE LAND
5. FREE HOUSING
Communes
Urban Living
Rural Living
List of Communes
6. FREE EDUCATION
List of Free Universities
7. FREE MEDICAL CARE
Birth Control Clinics
Abortions
Diseases Treated Free
8. FREE COMMUNICATION
Press Conference
Wall Painting
Use of the Flag
Radio
Free Telephones
Pay Phones
9. FREE PLAY
Movies and Concerts
Records and Books
10. FREE MONEY
Welfare
Unemployment
Panhandling
Rip-Offs
The International Yippie Currency Exchange
11. FREE DOPE
Buying, Selling and Giving It Away
Growing Your Own
12. ASSORTED FREEBIES
Laundry
Pets
Posters
Security
Postage
Maps
Ministry
Attrocities
Veteran's Benefits
Watch
Vacations
Drinks
Burials
Astrodome Pictures
Diploma
Toilets
FIGHT!
1. TELL IT ALL, BROTHERS AND SISTERS
Starting a Printing Workshop
Underground Newspapers
High School Papers
G.I. Papers
News Services
The Underground Press
Switchboards
2. GUERRILLA BROADCASTING
Guerrilla Radio
Guerrilla Television
3. DEMONSTRATIONS
Dress
Helmets
Gas Masks
Walkie-Talkies
Other Equipment
4. TRASHING
Weapons for Street Fighting
Knife Fighting
Unarmed Defense
General Strategy Rep
5. PEOPLE'S CHEMISTRY
Stink Bomb
Smoke Bomb
CBW
Molotov Cocktail
Sterno Bomb
Aerosol Bomb
Pipe Bombs
General Bomb Strategy
6. FIRST AID FOR STREET FIGHTERS
What to Do
Medical Committees
7. HIP-POCKET LAW
Legal Advice
Lawyer's Group
Join the Army of Your Choice
Canada, Sweden & Political Asylum
8. STEAL NOW, PAY NEVER
Shoplifting
Techniques
On the Job
Credit Cards
9. MONKEY WELFARE
10. PIECE NOW
Handguns
Rifles
Shotguns
Other Weapons
Training
Gun Laws
11. THE UNDERGROUND
Identification Papers
Communication
LIBERATE!
1. FUCK NEW YORK
2. FUCK CHICAGO
3. FUCK LOS ANGELES
4. FUCK SAN FRANCISCO
INTRODUCTION
It's perhaps fitting that I write this introduction in jail- that graduate school of survival.
Here you learn how to use toothpaste as glue, fashion a shiv out of a spoon and build
intricate communication networks. Here too, you learn the only rehabilitation
possible-hatred of oppression.
Steal This Book is, in a way, a manual of survival in the prison that is Amerika. It preaches
jailbreak. It shows you where exactly how to place the dynamite that will destroy the walls.
The first section-SURVIVE!-lays out a potential action program for our new Nation. The
chapter headings spell out the demands for a free society. A community where the
technology produces goods and services for whoever needs them, come who may. It calls
on the Robin Hoods of Santa Barbara Forest to steal from the robber barons who own the
castles of capitalism. It implies that the reader already is "ideologically set," in that he
understands corporate feudalism as the only robbery worthy of being called "crime," for it
is committed against the people as a whole. Whether the ways it describes to rip-off shit
are legal or illegal is irrelevant. The dictionary of law is written by the bosses of order. Our
moral dictionary says no heisting from each other. To steal from a brother or sister is evil.
To not steal from the institutions that are the pillars of the Pig Empire is equally immoral.
Community within our Nation, chaos in theirs; that is the message of SURVIVE!
We cannot survive without learning to fight and that is the lesson in the second section.
FIGHT! separates revolutionaries from outlaws. The purpose of part two is not to fuck the
system, but destroy it. The weapons are carefully chosen. They are "home-made," in that
they are designed for use in our unique electronic jungle. Here the uptown reviewer will find
ample proof of our "violent" nature. But again, the dictionary of law fails us. Murder in a
uniform is heroic, in a costume it is a crime. False advertisements win awards, forgers end
up in jail. Inflated prices guarantee large profits while shoplifters are punished. Politicians
conspire to create police riots and the victims are convicted in the courts. Students are
gunned down and then indicted by suburban grand juries as the trouble-makers. A modern,
highly mechanized army travels 9,000 miles to commit genocide against a small nation of
great vision and then accuses its people of aggression. Slumlords allow rats to maim
children and then complain of violence in the streets. Everything is topsy-turvy. If we
internalize the language and imagery of the pigs, we will forever be fucked. Let me illustrate
the point. Amerika was built on the slaughter of a people. That is its history. For years we
watched movie after movie that demonstrated the white man's benevolence. Jimmy
Stewart, the epitome of fairness, puts his arm around Cochise and tells how the Indians and
the whites can live in peace if only both sides will be reasonable, responsible and rational
(the three R's imperialists always teach the "natives"). "You will find good grazing land on
the other side of the mountain," drawls the public relations man. "Take your people and go
in peace." Cochise as well as millions of youngsters in the balcony of learning, were being
dealt off the bottom of the deck. The Indians should have offed Jimmy Stewart in every
picture and we should have cheered ourselves hoarse. Until we understand the nature of
institutional violence and how it manipulates values and mores to maintain the power of the
few, we will forever be imprisoned in the caves of ignorance. When we conclude that bank
robbers rather than bankers should be the trustees of the universities, then we begin to
think clearly. When we see the Army Mathematics Research and Development Center and
the Bank of Amerika as cesspools of violence, filling the minds of our young with hatred,
turning one against another, then we begin to think revolutionary.
Be clever using section two; clever as a snake. Dig the spirit of the struggle. Don't get hung
up on a sacrifice trip. Revolution is not about suicide, it is about life. With your fingers
probe the holiness of your body and see that it was meant to live. Your body is just one in a
mass of cuddly humanity. Become an internationalist and learn to respect all life. Make war
on machines, and in particular the sterile machines of corporate death and the robots that
guard them. The duty of a revolutionary is to make love and that means staying alive and
free. That doesn't allow for cop-outs. Smoking dope and hanging up Che's picture is no
more a commitment than drinking milk and collecting postage stamps. A revolution in
consciousness is an empty high without a revolution in the distribution of power. We are not
interested in the greening of Amerika except for the grass that will cover its grave.
Section three - LIBERATE! - concerns itself with efforts to free stuff (or at least make it
cheap) in four cities. Sort of a quick U.S. on no dollars a day. It begins to scratch the
potential for a national effort in this area. Since we are a nation of gypsies, dope on how to
move around and dig in anywhere is always needed. Together we can expand this section. It
is far from complete, as is the entire project. Incomplete chapters on how to identify police
agents, steal a car, run day-care centers, conduct your own trial, organize a G.I. coffee
house, start a rock and roll band and make neat clothes, are scattered all over the floor of
the cell. The book as it now stands was completed in the late summer of 1970. For three
months manuscripts made the rounds of every major publisher. In all, over 30 rejections
occurred before the decision to publish the book ourselves was made, or rather made for
us. Perhaps no other book in modern times presented such a dilemma. Everyone agreed
the book would be a commercial success. But even greed had its limits, and the IRS and
FBI following the manuscript with their little jive rap had a telling effect. Thirty "yeses"
become thirty "noes" after "thinking it over." Liberals, who supposedly led the fight against
censorship, talked of how the book "will end free speech."
Finally the day we were bringing the proofs to the printer, Grove consented to act as
distributor. To pull a total solo trip, including distribution, would have been neat, but such
an effort would be doomed from the start. We had tried it before and blew it. In fact, if
anyone is interested in 4,000 1969 Yippie calendars, they've got a deal. Even with a
distributor joining the fight, the battle will only begin when the books come off the press.
There is a saying that "Freedom of the press belongs to those who own one." In past eras,
this was probably the case, but now, high speed methods of typesetting, offset printing and
a host of other developments have made substantial reductions in printing costs. Literally
anyone is free to print their own works. In even the most repressive society imaginable, you
can get away with some form of private publishing. Because Amerika allows this, does not
make it the democracy Jefferson envisioned. Repressive tolerance is a real phenomenon. To
talk of true freedom of the press, we must talk of the availability of the channels of
communication that are designed to reach the entire population, or at least that segment
of the population that might participate in such a dialogue. Freedom of the press belongs
to those that own the distribution system. Perhaps that has always been the case, but in a
mass society where nearly everyone is instantaneously plugged into a variety of national
communications systems, wide-spread dissemination of the information is the crux of the
matter. To make the claim that the right to print your own book means freedom of the
press is to completely misunderstand the nature of a mass society. It is like making the
claim that anyone with a pushcart can challenge Safeway supermarkets, or that any child
can grow up to be president.
State legislators, librarians, PTA members, FBI agents, church-goers, and parents: a
veritable legion of decency and order already is on the march. To get the book to you might
be the biggest challenge we face. The next few months should prove really exciting.
Obviously such a project as Steal This Book could not have been carried out alone. Izak
Haber shared the vision from the beginning. He did months of valuable research and
contributed many of the survival techniques. Carole Ramer and Gus Reichbach of the New
York Law Commune guided the book through its many stages. Anna Kaufman Moon did
almost all the photographs. The cartoonists who have made contributions include Ski
Williamson and Gilbert Sheldon. Tom Forcade, of the UPS, patiently did the editing. Bert
Cohen of Concert Hall did the book's graphic design. Amber and John Wilcox set the type.
Anita Hoffman and Lynn Borman helped me rewrite a number of sections. There are others
who participated in the testing of many of the techniques demonstrated in the following
pages and for obvious reasons have to remain anonymous. There were perhaps over 50
brothers and sisters who played particularly vital roles in the grand conspiracy. Some of
the many others are listed on the following page. We hope to keep the information up to
date. If you have comments, law suits, suggestions or death threats, please send them to:
Dear Abbie P.0. Box 213, Cooper Station, New York, NY 10003. Many of the tips might not
work in your area, some might be obsolete by the time you get to try them out, and many
addresses and phone numbers might be changed. If the reader becomes a participating
researcher then we will have achieved our purpose.
Watch for a special edition called Steal This White House, complete with blueprints of
underground passages, methods of jamming the communications network and a detailed
map of the celebrated room where according to Tricia Nixon, "Daddy loves to listen to
Mantovanni records, turn up the air conditioner full blast, sit by the fireplace, gaze out the
window to the Washington Monument and meditate on those difficult problems that face all
the peoples of this world."
December, 1970
Cook County Jail
Chicago
"FREE SPEECH IS THE RIGHT TO SHOUT
'THEATER' IN A CROWDED FIRE."
- A YIPPIE PROVERB
AIDING AND ABETTING
Tim Leary, Tom, Geronimo, Pearl Paperhanger, Sonny, Pat Solomon, Allan Katzman, Jacob
Kohn, Nguyen Van Troi, Susan, Marty, Andy, Ami, Marshall Bloom, Viva, Ben, Oanh, Robin
Palmer, Mom and Dad, Janie Fonda, Jerry, Denis, LNS, Bernadine Dohrn, a wall in Harvard
Square, Nancy, an anonymous stewardess, Shirley Wonderful, Roz, Gumbo, Janis, Jimi,
Dylan Liberation Front, Jeannie, God Slick, John, David, Rusty, Barney, Richard, Denny, Ron
Cobb, the entire Viet Cong, Sam Shephard, Ma Bell, Eric, David, Joe, Kim Agnew, the
Partridge Family, Carol, Alan Ginsburg, Woman's Lib, Julius Lester, Lenny Bruce, Hack,
Billy, Paul, Willy, Colleen, Sid, Johnny Appleseed, the Rat, Craig, Che, Willie Sutton, Wanda,
EVO, Jeff, Crazy Horse, Huey, Casey, Bobby, Alice, Mao, Rip, Ed, Bob, Gay Liberation Front,
WPAX, Frank Dudock, Manny, Mungo, Lottie, Rosemary, Marshall, Rennie, Judy, Jennifer,
Mr. Martin, Keith, Madame Binh, Mike, Eleanor, Dr. Spock, Afeni, Candice, the Tupamaros,
Berkeley Tribe, Gilbert Sheldon, Stanley Kubrick, Sam, Anna, Skip Williamson, UPS, Andy
Stapp, the Yippies, Richard Brautigan, Jano, Carlos Marighella, the Weathermen, Julius
Jennings Hoffman, Quentin, the inmates of TIER A-l Cook County Jail, Houdini, 37, Rosa
Luxemberg, the Kent 25, the Chicago 15, the New York 21, the Motor City 3, the
Indianapolis 500, Jack, Joan, Malcolm X, Mayakovsky, Dotson, R. Crumb, Daniel Clyne,
Justin, The FBI Top 10 (now 16), Unis, Dana, Jim Morrison, Brian, John, Gus, Ruth, Nancy
Unger, Pun, Jomo, Peter, Mark Rudd, Billy Kunstler, Genie, Ken, the Law Commune, Paula,
Robby, Terry, Dianna, Angela, Ted, Phil, Jefferson Airplane, Len, Tricky Prickers, the
Berrigans, Stu, Rayanne, J.B., Jonathan Jackson, the Armstrong Brothers, Homer, Sharon,
Fred Hampton, Jean Jacques Lebel, A. H. Maslow, Hanoi Rose, Sylvia, Fellini, Amaru, Ann
Fettamen, Artaud, Bert, Merrill, Lynne, and last but not least to Spiro what's his name who
provided the incentive.
SURVIVE!
FREE FOOD
RESTAURANTS
In a country such as Amerika, there is bound to be a hell-of-a-lot food lying around just
waiting to be ripped off. If you want to live high off the hog without having to do the dishes,
restaurants are easy pickings. In general, many of these targets are easier marks if you are
wearing the correct uniform. You should always have one suit or fashionable dress outfit
hanging in the closet for the proper heists. Specialized uniforms, such as nun and priest
garb, can be most helpful. Check out your local uniform store for a wide range of clothes
that will get you in, and especially out, of all kinds of stores. Every movement organization
should have a prop and costume department.
In every major city there are usually bars that cater to the New Generation type riff-raff,
trying to hustle their way up the escalator of Big Business. Many of these bars have a buffet
or hors-d'oeuvres served free as a come-on to drink more mindless booze. Take a
half-empty glass from a table and use it as a prop to ward off the anxious waitress. Walk
around sampling the free food until you've had enough. Often, there are five or six such bars
in close proximity, so moving around can produce a delightful "street smorgasbord." Dinner
usually begins at 5:00 PM.
If you are really hungry, you can go into a self-service cafeteria and finish the meal of
someone who left a lot on the plate. Self-service restaurants are usually good places to cop
things like mustard, ketchup, salt, sugar, toilet paper, silverware and cups for home use.
Bring an empty school bag and load up after you've cased the joint. Also, if you can
stomach the food, you can use slugs at the automat. Finishing leftovers can be worked in
even the fanciest of restaurants. When you are seated at a place where the dishes still
remain, chow-down real quick. Then after the waitress hands you the menu, say you have to
meet someone outside first, and leave.
There are still some places where you can get all you can eat for a fixed price. The best of
these places are in Las Vegas. Sew a plastic bag onto your tee-shirt or belt and wear a
loose-fitting jacket or coat to cover any noticeable bulge. Fried chicken is the best and the
easiest to pocket, or should we say bag. Another trick is to pour your second free cup of
hot coffee into the plastic bag sewed inside your pocket and take it with you.
At large take-out stands you can say you or your brother just picked up an order of fifteen
hamburgers or a bucket of chicken, and got shorted. We have never seen or heard of
anybody getting turned down using this method. If you want to get into a grand food heist
from take-out stands, you can work the following nervy bit: from a pay phone, place an
order from a large delivery restaurant. Have the order sent to a nearby apartment house.
Wait a few minutes in the booth after you've hung up, as they sometimes call back to
confirm the order. When the delivery man goes into the apartment house to deliver the
order, you can swipe the remaining orders that are still in his truck.
In fancy sit-down restaurants, you can order a large meal and halfway through the main
course, take a little dead cockroach or a piece of glass out of your pocket and place it
deftly on the plate. Jump up astonished and summon the headwaiter. "Never have I been so
insulted. I could have been poisoned" you scream slapping down the napkin. You can refuse
to pay and leave, or let the waiter talk you into having a brand new meal on the house for
this terrible inconvenience.
In restaurants where you pay at the door just before leaving, there are a number of
free-loading tricks that can be utilized. After you've eaten a full meal and gotten the check,
go into the restroom. When you come out go to the counter or another section of the
restaurant and order coffee and pie. Now you have two bills. Simply pay the cheaper one
when you leave the place. This can be worked with a friend in the following way. Sit next to
each other at the counter. He should order a big meal and you a cup of coffee. Pretend you
don't know each other. When he leaves, he takes your check and leaves the one for the large
meal on the counter. After he has paid the cashier and left the restaurant, you pick up the
large check, and then go into the astonishment routine, complaining that somebody took
the wrong check. You end up only paying for your coffee. Later, meet your partner and
reverse the roles in another place.
In all these methods, you should leave a good tip for the waiter or waitress, especially with
the roach-in-the-plate gambit. You should try to avoid getting the employees in trouble or
screwing them out of a tip.
One fantastic method of not only getting free food but getting the best available is the
following technique that can be used in metropolitan areas. Look in a large magazine shop
for gourmet digests and tourist manuals. Swipe one or two and copy down a good name
from the masthead inside the cover. Making up a name can also work. Next invest $5.00 to
print business cards with the name of the magazine and the new "associate editor." Call or
simply drop into a fancy restaurant, show a copy of the magazine and present the manager
with your card. They will insist that the meal be on the house.
Great places to get fantastic meals are weddings, bar-mitzvahs, testimonials and the like.
The newspaper society sections have lists of weddings and locations. If your city has a large
Jewish population, subscribe to the newspaper that services the Jewish community. There
are extensive lists in these papers of family occasions where tons of good food is served.
Show up at the back of the synagogue a few hours after the affair has begun with a story of
how you'd like to bring some leftovers of "good Jewish food" back to your fraternity or
sorority. If you want to get the food served to you out front, you naturally have to disguise
yourself to look straight. Remarks such as, "I'm Marvin's cousin," or learning the bride's
name, "Gee, Dorothy looks marvelous" are great. Lines like "Betty doesn't look pregnant" are
frowned upon. A man and woman team can work this free-load much better than a single
person as they can chatter back and forth while stuffing themselves.
If you're really into a classy free meal, and you are in a city with a large harbor, check out
the passenger ship section in the back pages of the newspaper. There you find the schedule
of departures for ocean cruises. Most trips (these kind, anyway) begin with a fantastic bon
voyage party on board ship. Just walk on a few hours before departure time and start
swinging. Champagne, caviar, lobster, shrimp and more, all as free as the open seas. If you
get really bombed and miss getting off, you can also wiggle a ride across the ocean. You get
sent back as soon as you hit the other side, but it's a free ocean cruise. You should have a
pretty good story ready to go, or you might end up rowing in the galley.
Another possibility for getting a free meal is to go down to the docks and get friendly with a
sailor. He can often invite you for dinner on board ship. Foreign sailors are more than glad
to meet friends and you can get great foreign dinners this way.
FOOD PROGRAMS
In Amerika, there is a national food stamp program that unfortunately is controlled by the
states. Many states, for racist reasons, do not want to make it too available or to publicize
the fact that it even exists. It is a much better deal than the food program connected with
welfare, because you can use the stamps to buy any kind of food. The only items excluded
are tobacco products and alcoholic beverages. In general, you can qualify if you earn less
than $165 per month; the less you earn, the more stamps you can receive. There is
minimal hassle involved once you get by the first hurdle. Show up at your local food stamp
office, which can be found by calling the Welfare Department in our city. Make an
appointment to see a representative for your area. They will tell you to bring all sorts of
receipts, but the only thing you need are a few rent stubs for the most recent months. An
array of various receipt books is a nice supplement to one's prop room. If the receipts are
for a high rent, tell them you rent a room from a group of people and eat separately. They
really only want to prove that you have cooking facilities. Once you get the stamps, you can
pick them up regularly. Some states even mail them to your pad. You can get up to a
hundred dollars worth of free purchases a month per person in the most liberal states.
Large amounts of highly nutritional food can be gotten for as little as three cents per meal
from a non-profit organization called Multi-Purpose Food for Millions Foundation, Inc., 1800
Olympic Ave., Santa Monica, California. Write and they will send you details.
SUPERMARKETS
Talking about food in Amerika means talking about supermarkets-mammoth neon lighted
streets of food packaged to hoodwink the consumers. Many a Yippie can be found in the
aisles, stuffing his pockets with assorted delicacies. We have been shoplifting from
supermarkets on a regular basis without raising the slightest suspicion, ever since they
began.
We are not alone, and the fact that so much stealing goes on and the supermarkets still
bring in huge profits shows exactly how much overcharging has occurred in the first place.
Supermarkets, like other businesses, refer to shoplifting as "inventory shrinkage." It's as if
we thieves were helping Big Business reduce weight. So let's view our efforts as methods
designed to trim the economy and push forward with a positive attitude.
Women should never go shopping without a large handbag. In those crowded aisles,
especially the ones with piles of cases, all sorts of goodies can be transferred from
shopping cart to handbag. A drop bag can be sewn inside a trench coat, for more efficient
thievery. Don't worry about the mirrors; attendants never look at them. Become a
discriminating shopper and don't stuff any of the cheap shit in your pockets.
Small bottles and jars often have the same size cap as the larger expensive sizes. If they
have the price stamped on the cap, switch caps, getting the larger size for the cheaper
price. You can empty a pound box of margarine and fill it with sticks of butter. Small narrow
items can be hidden in the middle of rolls of toilet paper. Larger supermarkets sell
records. You can sneak two good LP's into one of those large frozen pizza boxes. In the
produce department, there are bags for fruit and vegetables. Slip a few steaks or some
lamb chops into the bottom of a large brown bag and pile some potatoes on top. Have a
little man in the white coat weigh the bag, staple it and mark the price. With a black crayon
you can mark your own prices, or bring your own adhesive price tags.
It's best to work shoplifting in the supermarket with a partner who can act as look-out and
shield you from the eyes of nosy employees, shoppers and other crooks trying to pick up
some pointers. Work out a prearranged set of signals with your partner. Diversions, like
knocking over displays, getting into fist fights with the manager, breaking plate glass
windows and such are effective and even if you don't get anything they're fun. Haven't you
always wanted to knock over those carefully constructed nine-foot pyramids of garbage?
You can walk into a supermarket, get a few items from the shelves, and walk around eating
food in the aisles. Pick up some cherries and eat them. Have a spoon in your pocket and
open some yogurt. Open a pickle or olive jar. Get some sliced meat or cheese from the
delicatessen counter and eat it up, making sure to ditch the wrapper. The cart full of items,
used as a decoy, can just be left in an aisle before you leave the store.
Case the joint before pulling a big rip-off. Know the least crowded hours, learn the best
aisles to be busy in, and check out the store's security system. Once you get into
shoplifting in supermarkets, you'll really dig it. You'll be surprised to learn that the food
tastes better.
Large scale thievery can best be carried out with the help of an employee. Two ways we
know of work best. A woman can get a job as a cashier and ring up a small bill as her
brothers and sisters bring home tons of stuff.
The method for men involves getting a job loading and unloading trucks in the receiving
department. Some accomplices dressed right can just pull in and, with your help, load up
on a few cases. Infiltrating an employee into a store is probably the best way to steal.
Cashiers, sales clerks, shippers, and the like are readily available jobs with such high
turnover and low pay that little checking on your background goes on. Also, you can learn
what you have to do in a few days. The rest of the week, you can work out ways to clean out
the store. After a month or so of action you might want to move on to another store before
things get heavy. We know one woman working as a cashier who swiped over $500 worth of
food a week. She had to leave after a month because her boss thought she was such an
efficient cashier that he insisted on promoting her to a job that didn't have as many fringe
benefits for her and her friends.
Large chain stores like Safeway throw away day-old vegetables, the outer leaves of lettuce,
celery and the like. This stuff is usually found in crates outside the back of the building. Tell
them you're working with animals at the college labs, or that you raise guinea pigs. They
might even get into saving them for you, but if they don't just show up before the garbage is
collected, (generally early in the morning), and they'll let you cart away what you want.
Dented cans and fruit can often be gotten free, but certainly at a reduced rate. They are
still as good as the undamaged ones. So be sure to dent all your cans before you go to the
cashier.
Look up catering services and businesses that service factories and office buildings with
ready-made sandwiches. Showing up at these places at the right times (catering services
on late Sunday night and sandwich dealers at 5:00 PM on weekdays) will produce loads of
good food. Legally, they have to dispose of the food that's left over. They would be more
than happy to give it to you if you spin a good story.
Butchers can be hustled for meat scraps with meat scraps with a "for my dog" story, and
bakeries can be asked for day-old rolls and bread.
WHOLESALE MARKETS
Large cities all have a wholesale fruit and vegetable area where often the workers will give
you tons of free food just for the asking. Get a good story together. Get some church
stationery and type a letter introducing yourself "to whom it may concern," or better still,
wear some clerical garb. Orchards also make good pickings just after the harvest has been
completed.
Factories often will give you a case or two of free merchandise for a "charitable" reason.
Make some calls around town and then go pick up the stuff at the end of the week. A great
idea is to get a good list of a few hundred large corporations around the country by looking
up their addresses at the library. Poor's Register of Companies, Directors and Executives
has the most complete list. Send them all letters complaining about how the last box of
cereal was only half full, or you found a dead fly in the can of peaches. They often will send
you an ample supply of items just to keep you from complaining to your friends or worse,
taking them to court. Often you can get stuff sent to you by just telling them how good
their product is compared to the trash you see nowadays. You know the type of letter -
"Rice Krispies have had a fantastic effect on my sexual prowess," or "Your frozen asparagus
has given a whole new meaning to my life." In general though, the nasties get the best
results.
Slaughterhouses usually have meat they will give away. They are anxious to give to church
children's programs and things like that. In most states, there is a law that if the slab of
meat touches the ground, they have to throw it away. Drop around meat houses late in the
day and trip a few trucks.
Fishermen always have hundreds of pounds of fish that have to be thrown out. You can have
as much as you can cart away, generally just for the asking. Boats come in late in the
afternoon and they'll give you some of the catch, or you can go to the markets early in the
morning when the fishing is best.
These methods of getting food in large quantities can only be appreciated by those who
have tried it. You will be totally baffled by the unbelievable quantities of food that will be
laid on you and with the ease of panhandling.
Investing in a freezer will allow you to bi-weekly or even monthly trips to the wholesale
markets and you'll get the freshest foods to boot. Nothing can beat getting it wholesale for
free. Or is it free for wholesale? In any event, "bon appetit."
FOOD CONSPIRACIES
Forming a food cooperative is one of the best ways to promote solidarity and get every kind
of food you need to survive real cheap. It also provides a ready-made bridge for developing
alliances with blacks, Puerto Ricans, chicanos and other groups fighting our common
oppressor on a community level.
Call a meeting of about 20 communes, collectives or community organizations. Set up the
ground rules. There should be a hard-core of really good hustlers that serve as the shopping
or hunting party and another group of people who have their heads together enough to
keep records and run the central distribution center. Two or three in each group should do
it. They can get their food free for the effort. Another method is to rotate the activity
among all members of the conspiracy. The method you choose depends upon your politics
and whether you favor a division of labor or using the food conspiracy as a training for
collective living. Probably a blend of the two is best, but you'll have to hassle that out for
yourself. The next thing to agree upon is how the operation and all the shit you get will be
paid for. This is dependent on a number of variables, so we'll map out one scheme and you
can modify it to suit your particular situation. Each member of every commune could be
assessed a fee for joining. You want to get together about $2,000, so at 200 members, this
is ten bucks a piece. After the joining fee, each person or group has to pay only for the low
budget food they order, but some loot is needed to get things rolling. The money goes to
getting a store front or garage, a cheap truck, some scales, freezers, bags, shelving,
chopping blocks, slicer and whatever else you need. You can get great deals by looking in
the classified ads of the local overground newspaper and checking for restaurants or
markets going out of business. Remember the idea of a conspiracy is to get tons of stuff at
real low prices or free into a store front, and then break it down into smaller units for each
group and eventually each member. The freezers allow you to store perishables for a longer
time.
The hunting party should be well acquainted with how to rip off shit totally free and where
all the best deals are to be found. They should know what food is seasonal and about
nutritional diets. There is a lot to learn, such as where to get raw grains in 100 pounds lots
and how to cut up a side of beef. A good idea is to get a diet freak to give weekly talks in
the store front. There can also be cooking lessons taught, especially to men, so women can
get out of the kitchen.
Organizing a community around a basic issue of survival, such as food, makes a lot of nitty
gritty sense. After your conspiracy gets off the ground and looks permanent, you should
seek to expand it to include more members and an emergency food fund should be set up
in case something happens in the community. There should also be a fund whereby the
conspiracy can sponsor free community dinners tied into celebrations. Get it together and
join the fight for a world-wide food conspiracy. Seize the steak!
CHEAP CHOW
There are hundreds of good paperback cook books with nutritional cheap recipes available
in any bookstore. Cooking is a vastly overrated skill. The following are a few all-purpose
dishes that are easy to make, nutritional and cheap as mud pies. You can add or subtract
many of the ingredients for variety.
Hog Farm Granola Breakfast (Road Hog Crispies)
˝ c millet 2 c raw oats
˝ c cracked wheat 1 c rye flakes
˝ c buckwheat groats 1 c wheat flakes
˝ c wheat germ 1 c dried fruits and/or nuts
˝ c sunflower seeds 3 tbs soy oil
Ľ c sesame seeds 1 c honey
2 tbs cornmeal
Boil the millet in a double boiler for 1/2 hour. Mix in a large bowl all the ingredients
including the millet. The soy oil and honey should be heated in a saucepan over a low flame
until bubbles form. Spread the cereal in a baking pan and cover with the honey syrup. Toast
in oven until brown. Stir once or twice so that all the cereal will be toasted. Serve plain or
with milk. Refrigerate portion not used in a covered container. Enough for ten to twenty
people. Make lots and store for later meals. All these ingredients can be purchased at any
health store in a variety of quantities. You can also get natural sugar if you need a
sweetener. If bought and made in quantity, this fantastically healthy breakfast food will be
cheaper than the brand name cellophane that passes for cereal.
Whole Earth Bread
1 c oats, corn meal, or wheat germ 2 tsp salt
1˝ c water (warm) 2 egg yolks
Ľ c sugar (raw is best) 4 c flour
1 pkg active dry yeast _ c corn oil
1 c dry milk or butter
Stir lightly in a large bowl the oats, cornmeal or wheat germ (depending on the flavor bread
you desire), the water and sugar. Sprinkle in the yeast and wait 10 minutes for the yeast to
do its thing. Add salt, egg yolks, corn oil and dry milk. Mix with a fork. Blend in the flour. The
dough should be dry and a little lumpy. Cover with a towel and leave in a warm place for a
half hour. Now mash, punch, blend and kick the dough and return it covered to its warm
place. The dough will double in size. When this happens, separate the dough into two even
masses and mash each one into a greased bread (loaf) pan. Cover the pans and let sit until
the dough rises to the top of the pans. Bake for 40-45 minutes in a 350 degree oven that
has not been pre-heated. A shallow tray of water in the bottom of the oven will keep the
bread nice and moist. When you remove the pans from the oven, turn out the bread into a
rack and let it cool off. Once you get the hang of it, you'll never touch ready-made bread,
and it's a gas seeing yeast work.
Street Salad
Salad can be made by chopping up almost any variety of vegetables, nuts and fruits
including the stuff you panhandled at the back of supermarkets; dandelions, shav, and other
wild vegetables; and goods you ripped off inside stores or from large farms. A neat fresh
dressing consists of one part of oil, two parts wine vinegar, finely chopped garlic cloves, salt
and pepper. Mix up the ingredients in a bottle and add to the salad as you serve it. Russian
dressing is simply mayonnaise and ketchup mixed.
Yippie Yogurt
Yogurt is one of the most nutritional foods in the world. The stuff you buy in stores has
preservatives added to it reducing its health properties and increasing the cost. Yogurt is a
bacteria that spreads throughout a suitable culture at the correct temperature. Begin by
going to a Turkish or Syrian restaurant and buying some yogurt to go. Some restaurants
boast of yogurt that goes back over a hundred years. Put it in the refrigerator.
Now prepare the culture in which the yogurt will multiply. The consistency you want will
determine what you use. A milk culture will produce thin yogurt, while sweet cream will
make a thicker batch. It's the butter fat content that determines the consistency and also
the number of calories. Half milk and half cream combines the best of both worlds. Heat a
quart of half and half on a low flame until just before the boiling point and remove from the
stove. This knocks out other bacteria that will compete with the yogurt. Now take a
tablespoon of the yogurt you got from the restaurant and place it in the bottom of a bowl
(not metal). Now add the warm liquid. Cover the bowl with a lid and wrap tightly with a
heavy towel. Place the bowl in a warm spot such as on top of a radiator or in a sunny
window. A turned-off oven with a tray of boiling water placed in it will do well. Just let the
bowl sit for about 8 hours (overnight). The yogurt simply grows until the whole bowl is
yogurt. Yippie! It will keep in the refrigerator for about two weeks before turning sour, but
even then, the bacteria will produce a fresh batch of top quality. Remember when eating it
to leave a little to start the next batch. For a neat treat add some honey and cinnamon
and mix into the yogurt before serving. Chopped fruit and nuts are also good.
Rice and Cong Sauce
1 c brown rice vegetables
2 c water 2˝ tbs soy sauce
tsp salt
Bring the water to a boil in a pot and add the salt and rice. Cover and reduce flame.
Cooking time is about 40 minutes or until rice has absorbed all the water. Meanwhile, in a
well-greased frying pan, saute a variety of chopped vegetables you enjoy. When they
become soft and brownish, add salt and 2 cups of water. Cover with a lid and lower flame.
Simmer for about 40 minutes, peeking to stir every once in a while. Then add 2 1/2 tbs of
soy sauce, stir and cook another 10 minutes. The rice should be just cooling off now, so add
the sauce to the top of it and serve. Great for those long guerrilla hikes. This literally makes
up almost the entire diet of the National Liberation Front fighter.
Weatherbeans
1 lb red kidney beans 2 tbs parsley (chopped)
2 quarts water ˝ lb pork, smoked sausage
1 onion (chopped) or ham hock
1 tbs celery (chopped) 1 lg bay leaf
1 tsp garlic (minced) salt to season
Rinse the beans, then place in covered pot and add water and salt. Cook over low flame.
While cooking, chop up meat and brown in a frying pan. Add onion, celery, garlic and parsley
and continue sauteing over low flame. Add the pieces of meat, vegetables and bay leaf to
the beans and cook covered for 1 1/2 to 2 hours. It may be necessary to add more water if
the beans get too dry. Fifteen minutes before beans are done, mash about a half cup of the
stuff against the side of the pan to thicken the liquid. Pour the beans and liquid over some
steaming rice that you've made by following the directions above. This should provide a
cheap nutritional meal for about 6 people.
Hedonist's Deluxe
2 lobsters 2 qts water
seaweed Ľ lb butter
Steal two lobsters, watching out for the claw thingies. Beg some seaweed from any fish
market. Cop the butter using the switcheroo method described in the Supermarket section
above. When you get home, boil the water in a large covered pot and drop in the seaweed
and then the lobsters. Put the cover back on and cook for about 20 minutes. Melt the
butter in a sauce pan and dip the lobster pieces in it as you eat. With a booster box,
described later you'll be able to rip off a bottle of vintage Pouilly-Fuisse in a fancy liquor
store. Really, rice is nice but...
FREE CLOTHING & FURNITURE
FREE CLOTHING
If shoplifting food seems easy, it's nothing compared to the snatching of clothing. Shop only
the better stores. Try thing on in those neat secluded stalls. The less bulky items such as
shirts, vests, belts and socks can be tied around your waist or leg with large rubber bands if
needed. Just take a number of items in and come out with a few less.
In some cities there are still free stores left over from the flower power days. Churches
often have give-away clothing programs. You can impersonate a clergyman and call one of
the large clothing manufacturers in your area. They are usually willing to donate a case or
two of shirts, trousers or underwear to your church raffle or drive to dress up skid row. Be
sure to get your sizes. Tell them "your boy" will pick up the blessed donation and you'll
mention his company in the evening prayers.
If you notice people moving from an apartment or house, ask them if they'll be leaving
behind clothing. They usually abandon all sorts of items including food, furniture and books.
Offer to help them carry out stuff if you can keep what they won't be taking.
Make the rounds of a fancy neighborhood with a truck and some friends. Ring doorbells and
tell the person who answers that you are collecting wearable clothing for the "poor
homeless victims of the recent tidal wave in Quianto a small village in Saudi Arabia." You get
the pitch. Make it food and clothing, and say you're with a group called Heartline for
Decency. A phony letter from a church might help here.
The Salvation Army does this, and you can pick up clothes from them at very cheap prices.
You can get a pair of snappy casual shoes for 25 cents in many bowling alleys by walking
out with them on your feet. If you have to leave your shoes as a deposit, leave the most
beat-up pair you can find.
Notice if your friends have lost or gained weight. A big change means a lot of clothes doing
nothing but taking up closet space. Show up at dormitories when college is over for the
summer or winter season. Go to the train or bus stations and tell them you left your
raincoat, gloves or umbrella when you came into town. They'll take you to a room with
thousands of unclaimed items. Pick out what you like. While there, notice a neat suitcase or
trunk and memorize the markings. Later a friend can claim the item. There will be loads of
surprises in any suitcase. We have a close friend who inherited ten kilos of grass this way.
Large laundry and dry cleaning chains usually have thousands of items that have gone
unclaimed. Manufacturers also have shirts, dresses and suits for rockbottom prices
because of a crooked seam or other fuck-up. Stores have reduced rates on display models:
Mannequins are mostly all size 40 for men and 10 for women. Size 7 1/2 is the standard
display size for men's shoes. If you are these sizes, you can get top styles for less than half
price.
SANDALS
The Vietnamese and people throughout the Third World make a fantastically durable and
comfortable pair of sandals out of rubber tires. They cut out a section of the outer tire
(trace around the outside of the foot with a piece of chalk) which when trimmed forms the
sole. Next 6 slits re made in the sole so the rubber straps can be criss-crossed and slid
through the slits. The straps are made out of inner tubing. No nails are needed. If you have
wide feet, use the new wide tread low profiles. For hard going, try radials. For best
satisfaction and quality, steal the tires off a pig car or a government limousine.
Let's face it, if you really are into beating the clothing problem, move to a warm climate
and run around naked. Skin is absolutely free, and will always be in style. Speaking of style,
the midi and the maxi have obvious advantages when it comes to shoplifting and
transporting weapons or bombs.
FREE FURNITURE
Apartment lobbies are good for all kinds of neat furniture. If you want to get fancy about it,
rent a truck (not one that says U-HAUL-IT or other rental markings) and make the pick-up
with moving-man-type uniforms. When schools are on strike and students hold seminars
and debate into the night, Yippies can be found going through the dorm lobbies and
storage closets hauling off couches, desks, printing supplies, typewriters, mimeos, etc. to
store in secret underground nests. A nervy group of Yippies in the Midwest tried to swipe a
giant IBM 360 computer while a school was in turmoil. All power to those that bring a
wheelbarrow to sit-ins.
Check into a high-class hotel or motel remembering to dress like the wallpaper. Carry a
large dummy suitcase with you and register under a phony name. Make sure you and not
the bellboy carry this bag. Use others as a decoy. When you get inside the room, grab
everything you can stuff in the suitcase: radio, T.V. sets (even if it has a special plug you can
cut it with a knife and replace the cord), blankets, toilet paper, glasses, towels, sheets,
lamps, (forget the imitation Winslow Homer on the wall) a Bible, soap and toss rugs. Before
you leave (odd hours are best) hang the DO NOT DISTURB sign on your doorknob. This will
give you an extra few hours to beat it across the border or check into a new hotel.
Landlords renovating buildings throw out stoves, tables, lamps, refrigerators and carpeting.
In most cities, each area has a day designated for discarding bulk objects. Call the
Sanitation Department and say you live in that part of town which would be putting out the
most expensive shit and find out the pick-up day. Fantastic buys can be found cruising the
streets late at night. Check out the backs of large department stores for floor models,
window displays and slightly damaged furniture being discarded.
Construction sites are a good source for building materials to construct furniture. (Not to
mention explosives.) The large wooden cable spools make great tables. Cinderblocks, bricks
and boards can quickly be turned into a sharp looking bookcase. Doors make tables. Nail
kegs convert into stools or chairs. You can also always find a number of other supplies
hanging around like wiring, pipes, lighting fixtures and hard hats. And don't forget those
blinking signs and the red lanterns for your own light show. Those black oil-fed burners are
O.K. for cooking, although smoky, and highway flares are swell for making fake dynamite
bombs.
FREE TRANSPORTATION
HITCH-HIKING
Certainly one of the neatest ways of getting where you want to go for nothing is to hitch. In
the city it's a real snap. Just position yourself at a busy intersection and ask the drivers for
a lift when they stop for the red light. If you're hitching on a road where the traffic zooms
by pretty fast, be sure to stand where the car will have room to safely pull off the road.
Traveling long distances, even cross-country, can be easy if you have some sense of what
you are doing.
A lone hitch-hiker will do much better than two or more. A man and woman will do very well
together. Single women are certain to get propositioned and possibly worse. Amerikan
males have endless sexual fantasies about picking up a poor lonesome damsel in distress.
Unless your karate and head are in top form, women should avoid hitching alone. Telling
men you have V.D. might help in difficult situations.
New England and the entire West Coast are the best sections for easy hitches. The South
and Midwest can sometimes be a real hassle. Easy Rider and all that. The best season to
hitch is in the summer. Daytime is much better than night. If you have to hitch at night, get
under some type of illumination where you'll be seen.
Hitch-hiking is legal in most states, but remember you always can get a "say-so" bust. A
"say-so" arrest is to police what Catch-22 is to the Army. When you ask why you're under
arrest, the pig answers, "cause I say-so." If you stand on the shoulder of the road, the pigs
won't give you too bad a time. If you've got long hair, cops will often stop to play games. You
can wear a hat with your hair tucked under to avoid hassles. However this might hurt your
ability to get rides, since many straights will pick up hippies out of curiosity who would not
pick up a straight scruffy looking kid. Freak drivers usually only pick up other freaks.
Once in a while you hear stories of fines levied or even a few arrests for hitching (Flagstaff,
Arizona is notorious), but even in the states where it is illegal, the law is rarely enforced. If
you're stopped by the pigs, play dumb and they'll just tell you to move along. You can wait
until they leave and then let your thumb hang out again.
Hitchin on super highways is really far out. It's illegal but you won't get hassled if you hitch
at the entrances. On a fucked-up exit, take your chances hitching right on the road, but
keep a sharp eye out for porkers. When you get a ride be discriminating. Find out where the
driver is headed. If you are at a good spot, don't take a ride under a hundred miles that
won't end up in a location just as good. When the driver is headed to an out-of-the-way
place, ask him to let you off where you can get the best rides. If he's going to a particularly
small town, ask him to drive you to the other side of thy town line. It's usually only a mile or
two. Small towns often enforce all sorts of "say-so" ordinances. If you get stuck on the wrong
side of town, it would be wise to even hoof it through the place. Getting to a point on the
road where the cars are inter-city rather than local traffic is always preferable.
When you hit the road you should have a good idea of how to get where you are going. You
can pick up a free map at any gas station. Long distance routes, road conditions, weather
and all sorts of information can be gotten free by calling the American Automobile
Association in any city. Say that you are a member driving to Phoenix, Arizona or wherever
your destination is, and find out what you want to know. Always carry a sign indicating
where you are going. If you get stranded on the road without one, ask in a diner or gas
station for a piece of cardboard and a magic marker. Make the letters bold and fill them in
so they can be seen by drivers from a distance. If your destination is a small town, the sign
should indicate the state. For really long distances, EAST or WEST is best. Unless, of
course, you're going north or south. A phony foreign flag sewed on your pack also helps.
Carrying dope is not advisable, and although searching you is illegal, few pigs can read the
Constitution. If you are carrying when the patrol car pulls up, tell them you are Kanadian
and hitching through Amerika. Highway patrols are very uptight about promoting incidents
with foreigners. The foreign bit goes over especially well with small-town types, and is also
amazingly good for avoiding hassles with greasers. If you can't hack this one, tell them you
are a reporter for a newspaper writing a feature story on hitching around the country. This
story has averted many a bust.
Don't be shy when you hitch. Go into diners and gas stations and ask people if they're
heading East or to Texas. Sometimes gas station attendants will help. When in the car be
friendly as hell. Offer to share the driving if you've got a license. If you're broke, you can
usually bum a meal or a few bucks, maybe even a free night's lodging. Never be intimidated
into giving money for a ride.
As for what to carry when hitching, the advice is to travel light. The rule is to make up a
pack of the absolute minimum, then cut that in half. Hitching is an art form as is all survival.
Master it and you'll travel on a free trip forever.
FREIGHTING
There is a way to hitch long distances that has certain advantages over letting your thumb
hang out for hours on some two-laner. Learn about riding the trains and you'll always have
that alternative. Hitchhiking at night can be impossible, but hopping a is easier at night
than by day. By hitchhiking days and hopping freights and sleeping on them at night, you
can cover incredible distances rapidly and stay well rested. Every city and most large
towns have a freight yard. You can find it by following the tracks or asking where the freight
yard is located.
When you get to the yard, ask the workmen when the next train leaving in your direction will
be pulling out. Unlike the phony Hollywood image, railroad men are nice to folks who drop
by to grab a ride. Most yards don't have a guard or a "bull" as they are called. Even if they
do, he is generally not around. If there is a bull around, the most he's going to do is tell you
it's private property and ask you to leave. There are exceptions to this rule, such as the
notorious Lincoln, Nebraska, and Las Vegas, Nevada, but by asking you can find out. Even if
he asks you to leave or throws you out, sneak back when your train is pulling out and jump
aboard.
After you've located the right train for your trip, hunt for an empty boxcar to ride. The men
in the yards will generally point one out if you ask. Pig-sties, flat cars and coal cars are
definitely third class due to exposure to the elements. Boxcars are by far the best. They
are clean and the roof over your head helps in bad weather and cuts down the wind.
Boxcars with a hydro-cushion suspension system used for carrying fragile cargo make for
the smoothest ride. Unless you get one, you should be prepared for a pretty bumpy and
noisy voyage.
You should avoid cars with only one door open, because the pin may break, locking you in. A
car with both doors open gives you one free chance. Pig-backs (trailers on flatcars) are
generally considered unsafe. Most trains make a number of short hops, so if time is an
important factor try to get on a "hot shot" express. A hot shot travels faster and has
priority over other trains in crowded yards. You should favor a hot shot even if you have to
wait an extra hour or two or more to get one going your way.
If you're traveling at night, be sure to dress warmly. You can freeze your ass off. Trains
might not offer the most comfortable ride, but they go through beautiful countryside that
you'd never see from the highway or airway. There are no billboards, road signs, cops,
Jack-in-the-Boxes, gas stations or other artifacts of honky culture. You'll get dirty on the
trains so wear old clothes. Don't pass up this great way to travel cause some bullshit
western scared you out of it.
CARS
If you know how to drive and want to travel long distances, the auto transportation agencies
are a good deal. Look in the Yellow Pages under Automobile Transportation and Trucking or
Driveway. Rules vary, but normally you must be over 21 and have a valid license. Call up and
tell them when and where you want to go and they will let you know if they have a car
available. They give you the car and a tank of gas free. You pay the rest. Go to pick up the
car alone, then get some people to ride along and help with the driving and expenses. You
can make New York to San Francisco for about eighty dollars in tolls and gas in four days
without pushing. Usually you have the car for longer and can make a whole thing out of it.
You must look straight when you go to the agency. This can be simply be done by wetting
down your hair and shoving it under a cap.
Another good way to travel cheaply is to find somebody who has a car and is going your
way. Usually underground newspapers list people who either want rides or riders. Another
excellent place to find information is your local campus. Every campus has a bulletin board
for rides. Head shops and other community-minded stores have notices up on the wall.
Gas
If you have a car and need some gas late at night you can get a quart and then some by
emptying the hoses from the pumps into your tank. There is always a fair amount of surplus
gas left when the pumps are shut off.
If your traveling in a car and don't have enough money for gas and tolls, stop at the bus
station and see if anybody wants a lift. If you find someone, explain your money situation
and make a deal with him. Hitch-hikers also can be asked to chip in on the gas.
You can carry a piece of tubing in the trunk of your car and when the gas indicator gets low,
pull up to a nice looking Cadillac on some dark street and syphon off some of his gas. Just
park your car so the gas tank is next to the Caddy's, or use a large can. Stick the hose into
his tank, suck up enough to get things flowing, and stick the other end into your tank.
Having a lower level of liquid, you tank will draw gas until you and the Caddy are equal. "To
each according to his need, from each according to his ability," wrote Marx. Bet you hadn't
realized until now that the law of gravity affects economics.
Another way is to park in a service station over their filler hole. Lift off one lid (like a small
manhole cover), run down twenty feet of rubber tubing thru the hole you've cut in your
floorboard, then turn on the electric pump which you have installed to feed into your gas
tank. All they ever see is a parked car. This technique is especially rewarding when you have
a bus.
BUSES
If you'd rather leave the driving and the paying to them, try swiping a ride on the bus.
Here's a method that has worked well. Get a rough idea of where the bus has stopped
before it arrived at your station. If you are not at the beginning or final stop on the route,
wait until the bus you want pulls in and then out of the station. Make like the bus just pulled
off without you while you went to the bathroom. If there is a station master, complain like
crazy to him. Tell him you're going to sue the company if your luggage gets stolen. He'll put
you on the next bus for free. If there is no station master, lay your sad tale on the next
driver that comes along. If you know when the last bus left, just tell the driver you've been
stranded there for eight hours and you left your kid sleeping on the other bus. Tell him you
called ahead to the company and they said to grab the next bus and they would take care
of it.
The next method isn't totally free but close enough. It's called the hopper-bopper. Find a
bus that makes a few stops before it gets to where you want to go. The more stops with
people getting in our out the better. Buy a ticket for the short hop and stay on the bus
until you end up at your destination. You must develop a whole style in order to pull this off
because the driver has to forget you are connected with the ticket you gave him. Dress
unobtrusively or make sure the driver hasn't seen your face. Pretend to be asleep when the
short hop station is reached. If you get questioned, just act upset about sleeping through
the stop you "really" want and ask if it's possible to get a ride back.
AIRLINES
Up and away, junior outlaws! If you really want to get where you're going in a hurry, don't
forget skyjacker's paradise. Don't forget the airlines. They make an unbelievable amount of
bread on their inflated prices, ruin the land with incredible amounts of polluting wastes and
noise, and deliberately hold back aviation advances that would reduce prices and time of
flight. We know two foolproof methods to fly free, but unfortunately we feel publishing them
would cause the airlines to change their policy. The following methods have been talked
about enough, so the time seems right to make them known to a larger circle of friends.
A word should be said right off about stolen tickets. Literally millions of dollars worth of
airline tickets are stolen each year. If you have good underworld contacts, you can get a
ticket to anywhere you want at one-fourth the regular price. If you are charged more, you
are getting a slight rooking. In any case, you can get a ticket for any flight or date and just
trade it in. They are actually as good as cash, except that it takes 30 days to get a refund,
and by then they might have traced the stolen tickets. If you can get a stolen ticket,
exchange or use it as soon as possible, and always fly under a phony name. A stolen ticket
for a trip around the world currently goes for one hundred and fifty dollars in New York.
One successful scheme requires access to the mailbox of a person listed in the local phone
book. Let's use the name Ron Davis as an example. A woman calls one of the airlines with a
very efficient sounding rap such as: "Hello, this is Mr. Davis' secretary at Allied Chemical.
He and his wife would like to fly to Chicago on Friday. Could you mail two first-class tickets
to his home and bill us here at Allied?" Every major corporation probably has a Ron Davis,
and the airlines rarely bother checking anyway. Order your tickets two days before you wish
to travel, and pick them up at the mailbox or address you had them sent to. If you are
uptight in the airport about the tickets, just go up to another airline and have the tickets
exchanged.
One gutsy way to hitch a free ride is to board the plane without a ticket. This is how it
works. Locate the flight you want and rummage through a wastebasket until you find an
envelope for that particular airline. Shuffle by the counter men (which is fairly easy if it's
busy). When the boarding call is made, stand in line and get on the plane. Flash the empty
envelope at the stewardess as you board the plane. Carry a number of packages as a
decoy, so the stewardess won t ask you to open the envelope. If she does, which is rare, and
sees you have no ticket, act surprised. "Oh my gosh, it must have fallen out in the wash
room," will do fine. Run back down the ramp as if you're going to retrieve the ticket.
Disappear and try later on a different airline. Nine out of ten revolutionaries say it's the
only way to fly. This trick works only on airlines that don't use the boarding pass system.
If you want to be covered completely, use the hopper-bopper method described in the
section on Buses, with this added security precaution. Buy two tickets from different
cashiers, or better still, one from an agent in town. Both will be on the same flight. Only one
ticket will be under a phony name and for the short hop, white the ticket under your real
name will be for your actual destination. At the boarding counter, present the short hop
ticket. You will be given an envelope with a white receipt in it. Actually, the white receipt is
the last leaf in your ticket. Once you are securely seated and aloft, take out the ticket with
your name and final destination. Gently peel away everything but the white receipt. Place
the still valid ticket back in your pocket. Now remove from the envelope and destroy the
short hop receipt. In its place, put the receipt for the ticket you have in your pocket.
When you land at the short hop airport, stay on the plane. Usually the stewardesses just
ask you if you are remaining on the flight. If you have to, you can actually show her your
authentic receipt. When you get to your destination, you merely put the receipt back on
the bonafide ticket that you still have in your pocket. It isn't necessary that they be glued
together. Present the ticket for a refund or exchange it for another ticket. This method
works well even in foreign countries. You can actually fly around the world for $88.00 using
the hopper-bopper method and switching receipts.
If you can't hack these shucks you should at least get a Youth Card and travel for half fare.
If you are over twenty-two but still in your twenties, you can easily pass. Get a card from a
friend who has similar color hair and eyes. Your friend can easily get one from another
airline. You can master your friend's signature and get a supporting piece of identification
from him to back up your youth card if you find it necessary. If you have a friend who works
for an airline or travel agency, just get a card under your own name and an age below the
limit. Your friend can validate the card. Flying youth fare is on stand-by, so it's always a
good idea to call ahead and book a number of reservations under fictitious names on the
flight you'll be taking. This will fuck up the booking of regular passengers and insure you a
seat.
By the way, if you fly cross-country a number of times, swipe one of the plug-in head sets.
Always remember to pack it in your traveling bag. This way you'll save a two dollar fee
charged for the in-flight movie. The headsets are interchangeable on all airlines.
One way to fly free is to actually hitch a ride. Look for the private plane area located at
every airport, usually in some remote part of the field. You can find it by noticing where the
small planes without airline markings take off and land. Go over to the runways and ask
around. Often the mechanics will let you know when someone is leaving for your destination
and point out a pilot. Tell him you lost your ticket and have to get back to school. Single
pilots often like to have a passenger along and it's a real gas flying in a small plane.
Some foreign countries have special arrangements for free air travel to visiting writers,
artists or reporters. Brazil and Argentina are two we know of for sure. Call or write the
embassy of the country you wish to visit in Washington or their mission to the United
Nations in New York. Writing works best, especially if you can cop some stationery from a
newspaper or publishing house. Tell them you will be writing a feature story for some
magazine on the tourist spots or handcrafts of the country. The embassy will arrange for
you to travel gratis aboard one of their air force planes. The planes leave only from
Washington and New York at unscheduled times. Once you have the O.K. letter from the
embassy you're all set. This is definitely worth checking out if you want to vacation in a
foreign country with all sorts of free bonuses thrown in.
A one-way ride is easy if you want to get into skyjacking. Keep the piece or knife in your
shoe to avoid possible detection with the "metal scanner," a long black tube that acts like a
geiger counter. Or use a plastic knife or bomb. It's also advisable to wrap your dope in a
non-metallic material. Avoid tinfoil.
The crews have instructions to take you wherever you want to go even if they have to refuel,
but watch out for air marshals. To avoid air marshals and searches pick an airline which
flies short domestic hops. You should plan to end up in a country hostile to the United
States or you'll end up right back where you came from in some sturdy handcuffs. One
dude wanted to travel in style so he demanded $100,000 as a going-away gift. The airlines
quickly paid off. The guy then got greedy and demanded a hundred million dollars. When he
returned to pick up the extra pocket money, he got nabbed. None the less, skyjacking
appears to be the cheapest, fastest way to get away from it all.
IN CITY TRAVEL
Any of the public means of transportation can be ripped off easily. Get on the bus with a
large bill and present it after the bus has left the stop. If the bus is crowded, slip in the
back door when it opens to dispatch passengers.
Two people can easily get through the turnstile in a subway on one token by doubling up. In
some subway systems cards are given out to high school kids or senior citizens or
employees of the city. The next time you are in a subway station notice people flashing
cards to the man in the booth and entering through the "exit" door. Notice the color of the
card used by people in your age group. Get a piece of colored paper in a stationery store
or find some card of the same color you need. Put this "card" in a plastic window of your
wallet and flash it in the same way those with a bona fide pass do.
Before entering a turnstile, always test the swing bar. If someone during the day put in an
extra token, it's still in the machine waiting for you to enter free.
For every token and coin deposited in an automatic turnstile, there is a foreign coin the
same size for much less that will work in the machine. (See the Yippie Currency Exchange,
following, for more info.) Buy a cheap bag of assorted foreign coins from a dealer that you
can locate in the Yellow Pages. Size up the coins with a token from your subway system.
You can get any of these coins in bulk from a large dealer. Generally they are about l,000
for five dollars. Tell him you make jewelry out of them if he gets suspicious. Giving what
almost amounts to free subway rides away is a communal act of love. The best outlaws in
the world rip-off shit for a lot more people than just themselves. Robin Hood lives!
FREE LAND
Despite what you may have heard, there is still some rural land left in Amerika. The only
really free land is available in Alaska and remote barren areas of the western states. The
latest information in this area is found in a periodic publication called Our Public Lands,
available from the Superintendent of Documents, Washington, D.C. 20402. It costs $1.00
for a subscription. Also contact the U.S. Department of the Interior, Bureau of Land
Management, Washington, D.C. 20240 and ask for information on "homesteading." By the
time this book is out though, the Secretary of the Interior's friends in the oil companies
might have stolen all the available free land. Being an oil company is about the easiest way
to steal millions. Never call it stealing though, always refer to it as "research and
development."
Continental United States has no good free land that we know of, but there are some very
low prices in areas suited for country communities. Write to School of Living, Freeland,
Maryland, for their newspaper Green Revolution with the latest information in this area.
Canada has free land available, and the Canadian government will send you a free list if you
write to the Department of Land and Forests, Parliament Building, Quebec City, Canada.
Also write to the Geographical Branch, Department of Mines and Technical Surveys,
Parliament Building, Quebec City, Canada. Correspondence can be carried out with the
Communications Group, 2630 Point Grey Road, Vancouver 8, British Columbia, Canada, for
advice on establishing a community in Canada. The islands off the coast of British Columbia,
its western region and the area along the Kootenai River are among the best locations.
If you just want to rip off some land, there are two ways to do it; openly or secretly. If you
are going to do it out front, look around for a piece of land that's in dispute, which has its
sovereignty in question-islands and deltas between the U.S. and Canada, or between the
U.S. and Mexico, or any number of other borderline lands. You might even consider one of
the abandoned oil-drilling platforms, which are fair game under high seas salvage laws. The
possibilities are endless.
If you intend to do it quietly, you will want a completely different type of location. Find a
rugged area with lots of elbow room and plenty of places to hide, like the Rocky Mountains,
Florida swamps, Death Valley, or New York City. Put together a tight band of guerrillas and
do your thing. With luck you will last forever.
If you just want to camp out or try some hermit living in the plushest surroundings
available, you'll do best to head for one of the national parks. Since the parks are federal
property, there's very little the local fuzz can do about you, and the forest rangers are
generally the live-and-let-live types, although there have been increasing reports of
long-hairs being vamped on by Smokey the Pig, as in Yosemite. You can get a complete list
from National Park Service, Department of the Interior, Washington, D.C. 20240. The
following is a list of some good ones:
ALABAMA-Russell Cave National Monument, Bridgeport 35740
ARIZONA-Grand Canyon National Park, Box 129, Grand Canyon 86023
ARKANSAS-Hot Springs National Park, Box 1219, Hot Springs 71901
CALIFORNIA-Yosemite National Park, Box 577, Yosemite 95389*
COLORADO-Rocky Mountain National Park, Estes Park, 80517
FLORIDA-Everglades National Park, Box 279, Homestead 33030
IDAHO-Boise National Forest, 413 Idaho Street, Boise 83702
ILLINOIS-Shawnee National Forest,Harrisburg National Bank Building, Harrisburg
62946
KENTUCKY-Mammoth Cave National Park, Mammoth Cave 42259
LOUISIANA-Kisatchie National Forest, 2500 Shreveport Hwy., Pineville 71360
MAINE-Acadia National Park, Box 338, Bar Harbor 04609
MARYLAND-Assateague Island National Seashore, Rte. 2 Box 111, Berlin 21811
MASSACHUSETTS-Cape Cod National Seashore, South Wellfleet 02663
MICHIGAN-Hiawatha National Forest, Post Office Building, Escanaba 49829
MISSOURI-Mark Twain National Forest, 304 Pershing St., Springfield 65806
NEVADA-Lake Mead National Recreation Area, 601 Nevada Hwy, Boulder City 89005
NEW MEXICO-Aztec Ruins National Monument, Route 1, Box 101, Aztec 87410
NEW YORK-Fire Island National Seashore c/o New York City National Park Service
Group, 28 E. 20th St., New York, NY 10003
NORTH CAROLINA-Wright Brothers National Memorial Box 457, Manteo 27954
OKLAHOMA-Platt National Park, Box 201, Sulphur 73086
OREGON-Crater Lake National Park, Box 7, Crater Lake 97604
UTAH-Bryce Canyon National Park, Bryce Canyon 84717
WYOMING-Yellowstone National Park, Yellowstone Park 83020
*This summer Yosemite forest rangers tried to evict a group of Yippies from their
encampment. The Yippies rioted in the valley, spooked the tourists, burned cars and fought
for their right to stay.
Earth People's Park is an endeavor to purchase land and allow people to come and live for
free. They function as a clearing house for people that want to donate land and those who
wish to settle. They own 600 acres in northern Vermont and are trying to raise money to
buy more. Write to Earth People's Park, P.0. Box 313, 1230 Grant Ave., San Francisco,
California 94133.
People's Parks are sprouting up all over as people reclaim the land being ripped off by
universities, factories, and corrupt city planning agencies. The model is the People's Park
struggle in Berkeley during the spring of 1969. The people fought to defend a barren
parking lot they had turned into a community center with grass, swings, free-form sculpture
and gardens. The University of California, with the aid of Ronald Reagan and the Berkeley
storm troopers, fought with guns, clubs and tear gas to regain the land from the outlaw
people. The pigs killed James Rector and won an empty victory. For now the park is fenced
off, tarred over and converted into unused basketball courts and unused parking lots. Not
one person has violated the oath never to set foot on the site. It stands, cold and empty,
two blocks north of crowded Telegraph Avenue. If the revolution does not survive, all the
land will perish under the steam roller of imperialism. People's Death Valley will happen in
our lifetime.
FREE HOUSING
If you are in a city without a place to stay, ask the first group of hip-looking folks where you
can crash. You might try the office of the local underground newspaper. In any hip
community, the underground newspaper is generally the source of the best
up-to-the-moment information. But remember that they are very busy, and don't impose on
them. Many churches now have runaway houses. If you are under sixteen and can hack
some bullshit jive about "adjusting," "opening a dialogue," and "things aren't that bad," then
these are the best deals for free room and board. Check out the ground rules first, i.e.,
length of stay allowed, if they inform your parents or police, facilities and services available.
Almost always they can be accepted at their word, which is something very sacred to
missionaries. If they became known as double-crossers, the programs would be finished.
Some hip communities have crash pads set up, but these rarely last more than a few
months. To give out the addresses we have would be quite impractical. We have never run
across a crash pad that lasted more than a month or so. If in a cit, try hustling a room at a
college dorm. This is especially good in summer or on week-ends. If you have a sleeping bag,
the parks are always good, as is "tar jungle" or sleeping on the roofs of tall buildings. Local
folks will give you some good advice on what to watch out for and information on vagrancy
laws which might help you avoid getting busted.
For more permanent needs, squatting is not only free, it's a revolutionary act. If you stay
quiet you can stay indefinitely. If you have community support you may last forever.
COMMUNES
In the city or in the country, communes can be a cheap and enjoyable way of living.
Although urban and rural communes face different physical environments, they share
common group problems. The most important element in communal living is the people, for
the commune will only make it if everyone is fairly compatible. A nucleus of 4 to 7 people is
best and it is necessary that no member feels extremely hostile to any other member when
the commune gets started. The idea that things will work out later is pig swill. More
communes have busted up over incompatibility than any other single factor. People of
similar interests and political philosophies should live together. One speed freak can wreck
almost any group. There are just too many day-to-day hassles involved living in a commune
to not start off compatible in as many ways as possible. The ideal arrangement is for the
people to have known each other before they move in together.
Once you have made the opening moves, evening meetings will occasionally be necessary to
divide up the responsibilities and work out the unique problems of a communal family.
Basically, there are two areas that have to be pretty well agreed upon if the commune is to
survive. People's attitudes toward Politics, Sex, Drugs and Decision-making have to be in
fairly close agreement. Then the even most important decisions about raising the rent,
cleaning, cooking and maintenance will have to be made. Ground rules for inviting
non-members should be worked out before the first time it happens, as this is a common
cause for friction. Another increasingly important issue involves defense. Communes have
continually been targets of attack by the more Neanderthal elements of the surrounding
community. In Minneapolis for example, "headhunts" as they are called are commonplace.
You should have full knowledge of the local gun laws and a collective defense should be
worked out.
Physical attacks are just one way of making war on communes and, hence, our Free Nation.
Laws, cops, and courts are there to protect the power and the property of those that
already got the shit. Police harassment, strict enforcement of health codes and fire
regulations and the specially designed anti-commune laws being passed by town elders,
should all be known and understood by the members of a commune before they even buy
or rent property. On all these matters, you should seek out experienced members of
communes already established in the vicinity you wish to settle. Work out mutual defense
arrangements with nearby families-both legal and extralegal. Remember, not only do you
have the right to self-defense, but it is your duty to our new Nation to erase the
"Easy-Rider-take-any-shit" image which invites attack. Let them know you are willing to
defend your way of living and your chances of survival will increase.
URBAN LIVING
If you're headed for city living, the first thing you'll have to do is locate an apartment or loft,
an increasingly difficult task. At certain times of the year, notably June and September, the
competition is fierce because of students leaving or entering school. If you can avoid these
two months, you'll have a better selection. A knowledge of your plans in advance can aid a
great deal in finding an apartment, for the area can be scouted before you move in. Often,
if you know of people leaving a desirable apartment, you can make arrangements with the
landlord, and a deposit will hold the place. If you let them know you're willing to buy their
furniture, people will be more willing to give you information about when they plan to move.
Watch out for getting screwed on exorbitant furniture swindles by the previous tenants and
excessive demands on the part of the landlords. In most cities, the landlord is not legally
allowed to ask for more than one month's rent as security. Often the monthly rent itself is
regulated by a city agency. A little checking on the local laws and a visit to the housing
agency might prove well worth it.
Don't go to a rental agency unless you are willing to pay an extra month's rent as a fee.
Wanted ads in newspapers and bulletin boards located in community centers and
supermarkets have some leads. Large universities have a service for finding good
apartments for administrators, faculty and students, in that order. Call the university, say
you have just been appointed to such-and-such position and you need housing in the area.
They will want to know all your requirements and rent limitations, but often they have very
good deals available, especially if you've appointed yourself to a high enough position.
Aside from these, the best way is to scout a desired area and inquire about future
apartments. Often landlords or rental agencies have control over a number of buildings in a
given area. You can generally find a nameplate inside the hall of the building. Calling them
directly will let you know of any apartments available.
When you get an apartment, furnishing will be the next step. You can double your sleeping
space by building bunk beds. Nail two by fours securely from ceiling to floor, about three
feet from the walls, where the beds are desired. Then build a frame out of two by fours at a
convenient height. Make sure you use nails or screws strong enough to support the weight
of people sleeping or balling. Nail a sheet of 3/4 inch plywood on the frame. Mattresses and
almost all furniture needed for your pal can be gotten free (see section on Free Furniture).
Silverware can be copped at any self-service restaurant.
RURAL LIVING
If you are considering moving to the country, especially as a group, you are talking about
farms and farmland. There are some farms for rent, and occasionally a family that has to
be away for a year or two will let you live on their farm if you keep the place in repair. These
can be found advertised in the back of various farming magazines and in the classified
sections of newspapers, especially the Sunday editions. Generally speaking, however, if
you're interested in a farm, you should be considering an outright purchase.
First, you have to determine in what part of the country you want to live in terms of the
climate you prefer and how far away from the major cities you wish to locate. The least
populated states, such as Utah, Idaho, the Dakotas, Montana and the like, have the
cheapest prices and the lowest tax rates. The more populated a state, and in turn, the
closer to a city, the higher the commercial value of the land.
There are hundreds of different types of farms, so the next set of questions you'll have to
raise concerns the type of farm activity you'll want to engage in. Cattle farms are different
than vegetable farms or orchards. Farms come in sizes: from half an acre to ranches larger
than the state of Connecticut. They will run in price from $30 to $3000 an acre, with the
most expensive being prime farmland in fertile river valleys located close to an urban area.
The further away from the city and the further up a hill, the cheaper the land gets. It also
gets woodier, rockier and steeper, which means less tillable land.
If you are talking of living in a farm house and maybe having a small garden and some
livestock for your own use, with perhaps a pond on the property, you are looking for what is
called a recreational farm. When you buy a recreational farm, naturally you are interested
in the house, barn, well, fences, chicken-coop, corrals, woodsheds and other physical
structures on the property. Unless these are in unusually good condition or unique, they do
not enter into the sale price as major factors. It is the land itself that is bought and sold.
Farmland is measured in acreage; an acre being slightly more than 43,560 square feet. The
total area is measured in 40-acre plots. Thus, if a farmer or a real estate agent says he has
a plot of land down the road, he means a 40-acre farm. Farms are generally measured this
way, with an average recreational farm being 160 acres in size or an area covering about
1/2 square mile. A reasonable rate for recreational farmland 100 miles from a major city
with good water and a livable house would be about $50 per acre. For a 160-acre farm, it
would be $8,000, which is not an awful lot considering what you are getting. For an overall
view, get the free catalogues and brochures provided by the United Farm Agency, 612 W.
47th St., Kansas City, Mo. 64112.
Now that you have a rough idea of where and what type of farm you want, you can begin to
get more specific. Check out the classified section in the Sunday newspaper of the largest
city near your desired location. Get the phone book and call or write to real estate
agencies in the vicinity. Unlike the city, where there is a sellers' market, rural estate agents
collect their fee from the seller of the property, so you won't have to worry about the
agent's fee.
When you have narrowed down the choices, the next thing you'll want to look at is the plot
book for the county. The plot book has all the farms in each township mapped out. lt also
shows terrain variations, type of housing on the land, location of rivers, roads and a host of
other pertinent information. Road accessibility, especially in the winter, is an important
factor. If the farms bordering the one you have selected are abandoned or not in full use,
then for all intents and purposes, you have more land than you are buying.
After doing all this, you are prepared to go look at the farm itself. Notice the condition of
the auxiliary roads leading to the house. You'll want an idea of what sections of the land are
tillable. Make note of how many boulders you'll have to clear to do some planting. Also note
how many trees there are and to what extent the brush has to be cut down. Be sure and
have a good idea of the insect problems you can expect. Mosquitoes or flies can bug the
shit out of you. Feel the soil where you plan to have a garden and see how rich it is. If there
are fruit trees, check their condition. Taste the water. Find out if hunters or tourists come
through the land. Examine the house. The most important things are the basement and the
roof. In the basement examine the beams for dry rot and termites. See how long it will be
before the roof must be replaced. Next check the heating system, the electrical wiring and
the plumbing. Then you'll want to know about services such as schools, snow plowing,
telephones, fire department and finally about your neighbors. If the house is beyond repair,
you might still want the farm, especially if you are good at carpentry. Cabins, A-Frames,
domes and tepees are all cheaply constructed with little experience. Get the materials
from your nearest military installation.
Finally, check out the secondary structures on the land to see how usable they are. If there
is a pond, you'll want to see how deep it is for swimming. If there are streams, you'll want to
know about the fishing possibilities; and if large wooded areas, the hunting.
In negotiating the final sales agreement, you should employ a lawyer. You'll also want to
check out the possibility of negotiating a bank loan for the farm. Don't forget that you have
to pay taxes on the land, so inquire from the previous owner or agent as to the tax bill.
Usually, you can count on paying about $50 annually per 40-acre plot.
Finally, check out the federal programs available in the area. If you can learn the ins and
outs of the government programs, you can rip off plenty. The Feed-Grain Program of the
Department of Agriculture pays you not to grow grain. The Cotton Subsidy Program pays
you not to grow cotton. Also look into the Soil Bank Program of the United States
Development Association and various Department of Forestry programs which pay you to
plant trees. Between not planting cotton and planting trees, you should be able to manage.
LIST OF COMMUNES
The most complete list of city and country communes is available for $1.00 from
Alternatives Foundation, Modern Utopian, 1526 Gravensteur Highway North, Sebastopol,
California 95427. The phone is (707) 823-6168. The list is kept up to date. For all
communes, you must write in advance if you plan to visit. Almost every commune will give
you information about the local conditions and the problems they face if you write them a
letter. Here is a list of some you might like to write to for more information. Avoid
becoming a free-loader on your sisters and brothers.
California
ALTERNATIVES FOUNDATION-Box 1264, Berkeley, California 94709. (Dick
Fairfield) Communal living, total sexuality, peak experience training centers.
Dedicated to the cybernated-tribal society.
BHODAN CENTER OF INQUIRY-Sierra Route, Oakhurst, California 93644. Phone
(209) 683-4976.. (Charles Davis) Seminars on Human Community, IC
development on the land, founded 1934, 13 members. Trial period for new
members. Visitors check in advance.
Colorado
DROP CITY-Rt. 1, Box 125, Trinidad, Colorado 81082. Founded 1965. New
members must meet specific criteria. Anarchist, artist, dome houses.
New Mexico
LAMA FOUNDATION-Box 444, San Cristobal, N.M.
New York
CITY ISLAND COMMUNE-284 City Island Avenue, Bronx, NY. Visitors check in
advance. Revolutionary.
ATLANTIS I-RFD 5, Box 22A, Saugerties, NY 12477. Visitors and new members
welcome.
Oregon
FAMILY OF MYSTIC ARTS--Box 546, Sunny Valley, Oregon
Pennsylvania
TANGUY HOMESTEADS-West Chester, Pennsylvania. Suburban, non-sectarian,
co-op housing and community fellowship.
Washington
MAGIC MOUNTAIN-52nd and 19th Streets, Seattle, Washington. (c/o Miriam
Roder).
FREE EDUCATION
Usually when you ask somebody in college why they are there, they'll tell you it's to get an
education. The truth of it is, they are there to get the degree so that they can get ahead in
the rat race. Too many college radicals are two-timing punks. The only reason you should be
in college is to destroy it. If there is stuff that you want to learn though, there is a way to
get a college education absolutely free. Simply send away for the schedule of courses at
the college of your choice. Make up the schedule you want and audit the classes. In smaller
classes this might be a problem, but even then, if, the teacher is worth anything at all, he'll
let you stay. In large classes, no one will ever object.
If you need books for a course, write to the publisher claiming you are a lecturer at some
school and considering using their book in your course. They will always send you free books.
There are Free Universities springing up all over our new Nation. Anybody can teach any
course. People sign up for the courses and sometimes pay a token registration fee. This
money is used to publish a catalogue and pay the rent. If you're on welfare you don't have
to pay. You can take as many or as few courses as you want. Classes are held everywhere: in
the instructor's house, in the park, on the beach, at one of the student's houses or in
liberated buildings. Free Universities offer courses ranging from Astrology to the Use of
Firearms. The teaching is usually of excellent quality and you'll learn in a community-type
atmosphere.
LIST OF FREE UNIVERSITIES
Alternative University-69 W. 14th St., New York, NY 10011 (catalogue on request)
Baltimore Free U-c/o Harry, 233 E. 25th St., Baltimore, Maryland 21218
Berkeley Free U-1703 Grove St., Berkeley, California 94709
Bowling Green Free U-c/o Student Council, University of Bowling Green, Bowling Green
Ohio 43402
Colorado State Free U-Box 12-Fraisen, Colorado State College, Greeley, Colorado
80631
Detroit Area Free U-Student Union, 4001 W. McNichols Rd., Detroit, Michigan 48221
Detroit Area Free U-343 University Center, Wayne State University, Detroit, Mich.
Georgetown Free U-Loyola Bldg., 28, Georgetown University Washington D.C. 20007
Golden Gate Free U-2120 Market St., Rm. 206, San Francisco, California 94114
Heliotrope-2201 Filbert, San Francisco, California 94118
Illinois Free U-298A Illini Union, University of Illinois, Champaign, Illinois 61820
Kansas Free U-107 W. 7th St., Lawrence, Kansas 66044
Knox College Free U-Galesbury, Illinois 60401
Madison Free U-c/o P. Carroll, 1205 Shorewood Blvd., Madison, Wisconsin 53705
Metropolitan State Free U-Associated Students, 1345 Banrock St., Denver, Colorado
80204
Michigan State Free U-Associated Students, Student Service Bldg., Michigan State
College, East Lansing, Michigan 48823
Mid-Peninsula Free U-1060 El Camino Real, Menlo Park, California 94015
Minnesota Free U-1817 S. 3rd St., Minneapolis, Minnesota 55404
Monterey Peninsula Free U-2120 Etna Place, Monterey, California New Free U-Box
ALL 303, Santa Barbara, California 93107
Northwest Free U-Box 1255, Bellingham, Washington 98225
Ohio-Wesleyan Free U-Box 47-Welsh Hall, Ohio Wesleyan University, Delevan, Ohio
43015
Pittsburgh Free U-4401 Fifth Ave., Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 15213 Rutgers Free
U-Rutgers College, Student Center, 1 Lincoln Ave., Newark, NJ 07102
St. Louis Free U-c/o Student Congress, 3rd floor BMC, St. Louis University, St. Louis,
Missouri 63103
San Luis Obispo Free U-Box 1305, San Luis Obispo, California 94301
Santa Cruz Free U-604 River St., Santa Cruz, California 95060
Seattle Free U-4144˝ University Way NE, Seattle, Washington 98105
Southern Illinois Free U-Carbondale, Illinois 62901
Valley Free U-2045 N. Wishon Ave., Fresno, California 93704
Washington Area Free U-5519 Prospect Place, Chevy Chase, Maryland 20015 and
1854 Park Rd. NW, Washington, D.C. 20010
Wayne-Locke Free U-Student Congress, University of Texas, Arlington, Texas 76010
And a complete list of experimental schools, free universities, free schools, can be obtained
by sending one dollar to ALTERNATIVES! 1526 Gravenstein Highway N., Sebastopol,
California 97452, and requesting the Directory of Free Schools.
7. FREE MEDICAL CARE
Due to the efforts of the Medical Committee for Human Rights, the Student Health
Organization and other progressive elements among younger doctors and nurses. Free
People's Clinics have been happening in every major city. They usually operate out of store
fronts and are staffed with volunteer help. An average clinic can handle fifty patients a day.
If you've had an accident or have an acute illness, even a bad cold, check into the
emergency room of any hospital. Given them a sob story complete with phony name and
address. After treatment they present you with a slip and direct you to the cashier. Just
walk on by, as the song suggests. A good decoy is to ask for the washroom. After waiting
there a few moments, split. If you're caught sneaking out, tell them you ran out of the house
without your wallet. Ask them to bill you at your phony address. This billing procedure works
in both hospital emergency rooms and clinics. You can keep going back for repeated visits
up to three months before the cashier's office tells the doctor about your fractured
payments.
You can get speedy medical advice and avoid emergency room delays by calling the
hospital, asking for the emergency unit and speaking directly to the doctor over the phone.
Older doctors frown on this procedure since they cannot extort their usual exorbitant fee
over the phone. Younger ones generally do not share this hang-up.
Cities usually have free clinics for a variety of special ailments. Tuberculosis Clinics,
Venereal Disease Clinics, and Free Shot Clinics (yellow fever, polio, tetanus, etc.) are some
of the more common. A directory of these clinics and other free health services the local
community provides can be obtained by writing your Chamber of Commerce or local
Health Department.
Most universities have clinics connected with their dental, optometry or other specialized
medical schools. If not for free, then certainly for very low rates, you can get dental work
repaired, eyeglasses fitted and treatment of other specific health needs.
Free psychiatric treatment can often be gotten at the out-patient department of any
mental hospital. Admission into these hospitals is free, but a real bummer. Use them as a
last resort only. Some cities have a suicide prevention center and if you are desperate and
need help, call them. Your best choice in a psychiatric emergency is to go to a large
general hospital, find the emergency unit and ask to see the psychiatrist on duty.
BIRTH CONTROL CLINICS
Planned Parenthood and the Family Planning Association staff numerous free birth control
clinics throughout the country. They provide such services as sex education, examinations,
Pap smear and birth control information and devices. The devices include pills, a
diaphragm, or IUD (intra-uterine device) which they will insert. If you are unmarried and
under 18, you might have to talk to a social worker, but it's no sweat because anybody gets
contraceptive devices that wants them. Call up and ask them to send you their booklets on
the different methods of birth control available.
If you would rather go to a private doctor, try to find out from a friend the name of a hip
gynecologist, who is sympathetic to the fact that you're low on bread. Otherwise one visit
could cost $25.00 or more.
Before deciding on a contraceptive, you should be hip to some general information. There
has been much research on the pill, and during the past 10 years it has proven its
effectiveness, if not is safety. The two most famous name brands are Ortho-Novum and
Envoid. They all require a doctor's prescription. Different type pills are accompanied by
slightly different instructions, so read the directions carefully. In many women, the pills
produce side effects such as weight increase, dizziness or nausea. Sometimes the pill
affects your vision and more often your mood. Some women with specialized blood diseases
are advised not to use them, but in general, women have little or no trouble. Different
brand names have different hormonal balances (progesterone-estrogen). If you get
uncomfortable side effects, insist that your doctor switch your brand. If you stop the pill
method for any reason and don't want to get pregnant, be very careful to use another
means right away.
Another contraceptive device becoming more popular is the IUD, or the loop. It is a small
plastic or stainless steel irregularly-shaped spring that the doctor inserts inside the
opening of the uterus. The insertion is not without pain, but it's safe if done by a physician,
and it's second only to the pill in prevention of pregnancy. Once it's in place, you can forget
about it for a few years or until you wish to get pregnant. Doctors are reluctant to
prescribe them for women who have not borne children or had an abortion, because of the
intense pain that accompanies insertion. But if you can stand the pain associated with
three to four uterine contractions, you should push the doctor for this method. Inserting it
during the last day of your period will make it easier.
The diaphragm is a round piece of flexible rubber about 2 inches in diameter with a hard
rubber rim on the outside. It used to be inserted just before the sex act, but hip doctors
now recommend that it be worn continuously and taken out every few days for washing and
also during the menstrual period. It is most effective when used with a sperm-killing jelly or
cream. A doctor will fit you for a proper size diaphragm.
The next best method is the foams that you insert twenty minutes before fucking. The best
foams available are Delfen and Emko. They have the advantage of being nonprescription
items so you can rush into any drug store and pick up a dispenser when the spirit moves
you. Follow the directions carefully. Unfortunately, these foams taste terrible and are not
available in flavors. It just shows you how far science has to go.
Another device is the prophylactic, or rubber as it is called. This is the only device available
to men. It is a thin rubber sheath that fits over the penis. Because they are subject to
breaking and sliding off, their effectiveness is not super great. If you are forced to use
them, the best available are lubricated sheepskins with a reservoir tip.
The rhythm method or Vatican roulette as it is called by hip Catholics, is a waste unless
you are ready to surround yourself with thermometers, graphs and charts. You also have to
limit your fucking to prescribed days. Even with all these precautions, women have often
gotten pregnant using the rhythm method.
The oldest and least effective method is simply for the male to pull out just before he
comes. There are billions of sperm cells in each ejaculation and only one is needed to
fertilize the woman's egg and cause a pregnancy. Most of the sperm is in the first squirt,
so you had better be quick if you employ this technique.
If the woman misses her period she shouldn't panic. It might be delayed because of
emotional reasons. Just wait two weeks before going to a doctor or clinic for a pregnancy
test. When you go, be sure to bring your first morning urine specimen.
ABORTIONS
The best way to find out about abortions is to contact your local woman's liberation
organization through your underground newspaper or radio station. Some Family Planning
Clinics and even some liberal churches set up abortions, but these might run as high as
$700. Underground newspapers often have ads that read "Any girl in trouble call - -," or
something similar. The usual rate for an abortion is about $500 and it's awful hard to
bargain when you need one badly. Only go to a physician who is practicing or might have
just lost his license. Forget the stereotype image of these doctors as they are performing a
vital service. Friends who have had an abortion can usually recommend a good doctor and
fill you in on what's going to happen.
Abortions are very minor operations if done correctly. They can be done almost any time,
but after three months, it's no longer so casual and more surgical skill is required. Start
making plans as soon as you find out. The sooner the better, in terms of the operation.
Get a pregnancy test at a clinic. If it is positive and you want an abortion, start that day to
make plans. If you get negative results from the test and still miss your period, have a
gynecologist perform an examination if you are still worried.
If you cannot arrange an abortion through woman's liberation, Family Planning, a
sympathetic clergyman or a friend who has had one, search out a liberal hospital and talk
to one of their social workers. Almost all hospitals perform "therapeutic" abortions. Tell a
sob story about the desertion of your boy friend or that you take LSD every day or that
defects run in your family. Act mentally disturbed. If you qualify, you can get an abortion
that will be free under Medicaid or other welfare medical plans. The safest form of abortion
is the vacuum-curettage method, but not all doctors are hip to it. It is safer and quicker
with less chance of complications than the old-fashioned scrape method.
Many states have recently passed liberalized abortion laws, such as New York* (by far the
most extensive), Hawaii and Maryland, due to the continuing pressure of radical women.
The battle for abortion and certainly for free abortion is far from over even in the states
with liberal laws. They are far too expensive for the ten to twenty minute minor operation
involved and the red tape is horrendous. Free abortions must be look-on as a fundamental
right, not a sneaky, messy trauma.
*There is a residence requirement for New York but using a friend's New York address at
the hospital will be good enough. The procedure takes only a few days and costs between
$200 and $500, depending on the place. The best advice is to call one of the New York
Abortion Referral Services or Birth Control Groups listed in the New York Directory section.
DISEASES TREATED FREE
Syph and Clap (syphilis and gonorrhea) are two diseases that they are easy to pick up. They
come from balling. Anyone who claims they got it from sitting on a toilet seat must have a
fondness for weird positions.
Both men and women are subject to the diseases. Using a prophylactic usually will prevent
the spreading of venereal disease, but you should really seek to have it cured. Syphilis
usually begins with an infection which may look like a cold sore or pimple around the sex
organ. There is no pain associated with the lesions. Soon the sore disappears even without
treatment. This is often followed by a period of rashes on the body (especially the palms of
the hands) and inflammation of the mouth and throat. These symptoms also disappear
without treatment. It must be understood, however, that even if these symptoms
disappear, the disease still remains if left untreated. It can cause serious trouble such as
heart disease, blindness, insanity and paralysis. Also, it can fuck up any kids you might
produce and is easily passed on to anyone you ball.
Gonorrhea (clap) is more common than syphilis. Its first signs are a discharge from your
sex organ that is painful. Like syphilis, it affects both men and women, but is often
unnoticed in women. There is usually itching and burning associated with the affected area.
It can leave you sterile if left untreated.
Both these venereal diseases can be treated in a short time with attention. Avail yourself of
the free V.D. clinics in every town. Follow the doctor's instructions to the letter and try to
let the other people you've had sexual contact with know you had VD.
There are other fungus diseases that resemble syphilis or gonorrhea, but are relatively
harmless. Check out every infection in your crotch area, especially those with open sores or
an unusual discharge and you'll be safe.
Crabs are not harmful, but they can make you scratch your crotch for hours on end. They
are also highly transmittable by balling. Actually they are a form of body lice and easy to
cure. Go to your local druggist and ask him for the best remedy available. He'll give you one
of several lotions and instructions for proper use. We recommend Kwell.
A common disease in the hip community is hepatitis. There are two kinds. One you get from
sticking dirty needles in your arm (serum hepatitis) and the other more common strain
from eating infected food or having intimate contact with an infected carrier (infectious
hepatitis). The symptoms for both are identical; yellowish skin and eyes, dark piss and light
crap, loss of appetite and total listlessness. Hep is a very dangerous disease that can
cause a number of permanent conditions, including death, which is extremely permanent. It
should be treated by a doctor, often in a hospital.
FREE COMMUNICATION
If you don't like the news, why not go out and make your own? Creating free media depends
to a large extent on your imagination and ability to follow through on ideas. The average
Amerikan is exposed to over 1,600 commercials each day. Billboards, glossy ads and
television spots make up much of the word environment they live in. To crack through the
word mush means creating new forms of free communication. Advertisements for
revolution are important in helping to educate and mold the milieu of people you wish to
win over.
Guerrilla theater events are always good news items and if done right, people will
remember them forever. Throwing out money at the Stock Exchange or dumping soot on
executives at Con Edison or blowing up the policeman statue in Chicago immediately
conveys an easily understood message by using the technique of creative disruption.
Recently to dramatize the illegal invasion of Cambodia, 400 Yippies stormed across the
Canadian border in an invasion of the United States. They threw paint on store windows and
physically attacked residents of Blair, Washington. A group of Vietnam veterans marched in
battle gear from Trenton to Valley Forge. Along the way they performed mock attacks on
civilians the way they were trained to do in Southeast Asia.
Dying all the outdoor fountains red and then sending a message to the newspaper
explaining why you did it, dramatizes the idea that blood is being shed needlessly in
imperialist wars. A special metallic bonding glue available from Eastman-Kodak will form a
permanent bond in only 45 seconds. Gluing up locks of all the office buildings in your town is
a great way to dramatize the fact that our brothers and sisters are being jailed all the
time. Then, of course, there are always explosives which dramatically make your point and
then some.
PRESS CONFERENCES
Another way of using the news to advertise the revolution and make propaganda is to call a
press, conference. Get an appropriate place that has some relationship to the content of
your message. Send out announcements to as many members of the press as you can. If
you do not have a press list, you can make one up by looking through the Yellow Pages
under Newspapers, Radio Stations, Television Stations, Magazines and Wire Services. Check
out your list with other groups and pick up names of reporters who attend movement press
conferences. Address a special invitation to them as well as one to their newspaper.
Address the announcements to "City Desk" or "'News Department." Schedule the press
conference for about 11:00 A.M. as this allows the reporters to file the story in time for the
evening newscast or papers. On the day of the scheduled conference, call the important
city desks or reporters about 9:00 A.M. and remind them to come.
Everything about a successful press conference must be dramatic, from the
announcements and phone calls to the statements themselves. Nothing creates a worse
image than four or five men in business suits sitting behind a table and talking in a calm
manner at a fashionable hotel. Constantly seek to have every detail of the press conference
differ in style as well as content from the conferences of people in power. Make use of
music and visual effects. Don't stiffen up before the press. Make the statement as short
and to the point as possible. Don't read from notes, look directly into the camera. The
usual television spot is one minute and twenty seconds. The cameras start buzzing on your
opening statement and often run out of film before you finish. So make it brief and action
packed. The question period should be even more dramatic. Use the questioner's first
name when answering a question. This adds an air of informality and networks are more apt
to use an answer directed personally to one of their newsmen. Express your emotional
feelings. Be funny, get angry, be sad or ecstatic. If you cannot convey that you are deeply
excited or troubled or outraged about what you are saying, how do you expect it of others
who are watching a little image box in their living room? Remember, you are advertising a
new way of life to people. Watch TV commercials. See how they are able to convey
everything they need to be effective in such a short time and limited space. At the same
tune you're mocking the shit they are pushing, steal their techniques.
At rock concerts, during intermission or at the end of the performance, fight your way to
the stage.
COMMUNICATION
Announce that if the electricity is cut off the walls will be torn down. This galvanizes the
audience and makes the owners of the hall the villains if they fuck around. Lay out a short
exciting rap on what's coming down. Focus on a call around one action. Sometimes it might
be good to engage rock groups in dialogues about their commitment to the revolution.
Interrupting the concert is frowned upon since it is only spitting in the faces of the people
you are trying to reach. Use the Culture as ocean to swim in. Treat it with care.
Sandwich boards and hand-carried signs are effective advertisements. You can stand on a
busy corner and hold up a sign saying "Apartment Needed," "Free Angela," "Smash the
State" or other slogans. They can be written on dollar bills, envelopes that are being mailed
and other items that are passed from person to person.
Take a flashlight with a large face to movie theaters and other dark public gathering places.
Cut the word "STRIKE" or "REVOLT" or "YIPPIE" out of dark cellophane. Paste the stencil
over the flashlight, thus allowing you to project the word on a distant wall.
There are a number of all night call-in shows that have a huge audience. If you call with what
the moderator considers "exciting controversy," he may give you a special number so you
won't have to compete in the switchboard roller-derby. It often can take hours before you
get through to these shows. Here's a trick that will help you out if the switchboard is
jammed. The call-in shows have a series of hones so that when one is busy the next will take
the call. Usually the numbers run in sequence. Say a station gives out PL 5-8640, as the
number to call. That means it also uses PL 5-8641, PL 5-8642 and so on. If you get a busy
signal, hang up and try calling PL S-8647 say. This trick works in a variety of situations
where you want to get a call through a busy switchboard. Remember it for airline and bus
information.
WALL PAINTING
One of the best forms of free communication is painting messages on a blank wall. The
message must be short and bold. You want to be able to paint it on before the pigs come
and yet have it large enough so that people can see it at a distance. Cans of spray paint
that you can pick up at any hardware store work best. Pick spots that have lot of traffic.
Exclamation points are good for emphasis. If you are writing the same message, make a
stencil. You can make a stencil that says WAR and spray it on with white paint under the
word "STOP" on stop signs. You can stencil a five-pointed star and using yellow paint, spray
it on the dividing line between the red and blue on all post office boxes. This simulates the
flag of the National Liberation Front of Vietnam. You can stencil a marijuana leaf and using
green paint, spray it over cigarette and whisky billboards on buses and subways. The
women's liberation sign with red paint is good for sexist ads. Sometimes you will wish to
exhibit great daring in your choice of locations. When the Vietnamese hero Nguyen Van Troi
was executed, the Viet Cong put up a poster the next day on the exact spot inside the
highest security prison in the country.
Wall postering allows you to get more information before the public than a quickly
scribbled slogan. Make sure the surface is smooth or finely porous. Smear the back of the
poster with condensed milk, spread on with a brush, sponge, rag or your hands. Condensed
milk dries very fast and hard. Also smear some on the front once the poster is up to give
protection against the weather and busy fingers that like to pull at corners. Wallpaper
pastes also work quickly and efficiently. It's best to work both painting and postering at
night with a look-out. This way you can work the best spots without being harassed by the
pig patrol, which is usually unappreciative of Great Art.
USE OF THE FLAG
The generally agreed upon flag of our nation is black with a red, five pointed star behind a
green marijuana leaf in the center. It is used by groups that understand the correct use of
culture and symbolism in a revolutionary struggle. When displayed, it immediately
increases the feelings of solidarity between our brothers and sisters. High school kids have
had great fights over which flag to salute in school. A sign of any liberated zone is the flag
being flown. Rock concerts and festivals have their generally apolitical character instantly
changed when the flag is displayed. The political theoreticians who do not recognize the flag
and the importance of the culture it represents are ostriches who are ignorant of basic
human nature. Throughout history people have fought for religion, life-style, land, a flag
(nation), because they were ordered to, for fortune, because they were attacked or for the
hell of it. If you don't think the flag is important, ask the hardhats.
RADIO
Want to construct your own neighborhood radio station? You can get a carrier-current
transmitter designed by a group of brothers and sisters called Radio Free People. No FCC
license is required for the range is less than 1/2 mile. The small transistorized units plug
into any wall outlet. Write Radio Free People, 133 Mercer St., New York, New York 10012
for more details. For further information see the chapter on Guerrilla Broadcasting later in
the book.
FREE TELEPHONES
Ripping off the phone company is so common that Bell Telephone has a special security
division that tries to stay just a little ahead of the average free-loader. Many great devices
like the coat hanger release switch have been scrapped because of changes in the phone
box. Even the credit card fake-out is doomed to oblivion as the company switches to more
computerized techniques. ln our opinion, as long as there is a phone company, and as long
as there are outlaws, nobody need ever pay for a call. In 1969 alone the phone company
estimated that over 10 million dollars worth of free calls were placed from New York City.
Nothing, however, compares with the rip-off of the people by the phone company. In that
same year, American Telephone and Telegraph made a profit of 8.6 billion dollars! AT&T,
like all public utilities, passes itself off as a service owned by the people, while in actuality
nothing could be further from the truth. Only a small percentage of the public owns stock in
these companies and a tiny elite clique makes all the policy decisions. Ripping-off the
phone company is an act of revolutionary love, so help spread the word.
PAY PHONES
You can make a local 10 cent call for 2 cents by spitting on the pennies and dropping them
in the nickel slot. As soon as they are about to hit the trigger mechanism, bang the
coin-return button. Another way is to spin the pennies counter-clockwise into the nickel
slot. Hold the penny in the slot with your finger and snap it spinning with a key or other flat
object. Both systems take a certain knack, but once you've perfected the technique, you'll
always have it in your survival kit.
If two cents is too much, how about a call for 1 penny? Cut a 1/4 strip off the telephone
book cover. Insert the cardboard strip into the dime slot as far as it will go. Drop a penny in
the nickel slot until it catches in the mechanism (spinning will help). Then slowly pull the
strip out until you hear the dial tone.
A number 14 brass washer with a small piece of scotch tape over one side of the hole will
not only get a free call, but works in about any vending machine that takes dimes. You can
get a box of thousands for about a dollar at any hardware store. You should always have a
box around for phones, laundromats, parking meters and drink machines.
Bend a bobby pin after removing the plastic from the tips and jab it down into the
transmitter (mouthpiece). When it presses against the metal diaphragm, rub it on a metal
wall or pipe to ground it. When you've made contact you'll hear the dial tone. If the phone
uses old-fashioned rubber black tubing to enclose the wires running from the headset to
the box, you can insert a metal tack through the tubing, wiggle it around a little until it
makes contact with the bare wires and touch the tack to a nearby metal object for
grounding.
Put a dime in the phone, dial the operator and tell her you have ten cents credit. She'll
return your dime and get your call for free. If she asks why, say you made a call on another
pay phone, lost the money, and the operator told you to switch phones and call the credit
operator.
This same method works for long distance calls. Call the operator and find out the rate for
your call. Hang up and call another operator telling her you just dialed San Francisco
direct, got a wrong number and lost $.95 or whatever it is. She will get your call free of
charge.
If there are two pay phones next to each other, you can call long distance on one and put
the coins in the other. When the operator cuts in and asks you to deposit money, drop the
coins into the one you are not using, but hold the receiver up to the slots so the operator
can hear the bells ring. When you've finished, you can simply press the return button on the
phone with the coins in it and out they come. If you have a good tape recorder you can
record the sounds of a quarter, dime and nickel going into a pay phone and play them for
the operator in various combinations when she asks for the money. Turn the volume up as
loud as you can get it.
You can make a long distance call and charge it to a phone number. Simply tell the
operator you want to bill the call to your home phone because you don't have the correct
change. Tell her there is no one there now to verify the call, but you will be home in an hour
and she can call you then if there is any question. Make sure the exchange goes with the
area you say it does.
Always have a number of made-up credit card numbers. The code letter for 1970 is S, then
seven digits of the phone number and a three digit district number (not the same as area
code). The district number should be under 599. Example: S-573-2100-421 or
S-537-3402-035. Look up the phone numbers for your area by simply requesting a credit
card for your home phone which is very easy to get and then using the last three numbers
with another phone number. Usually making up exotic numbers from far away places will
work quite well as it would be impossible for an operator to spot a phony number in the
short time she has to check her list.
We advise against making phony credit card calls on a home phone. We have seen a gadget
that you install between the wall socket and the cord which not only allows you to receive all
the calls you want for free, but eliminates the most common form of electronic bugging.
They are being manufactured and sold for fifty dollars by a disgruntled telephone engineer
in Massachusetts. Unfortunately you are going to have to find him on your own or duplicate
his efforts, for he has sworn us to secrecy. If someone does, however, offer you such a
device, it probably does work. Test it by installing it and having someone call you from a pay
phone. If it's working, the person should get their dime back at the end of the call.
Actually if you know the slightest information about wiring, you can have your present phone
disconnected on the excuse that you'll be leaving town for a few months and then connect
the wires into the main trunk lines on your own. Extensions can easily be attached to your
main line without the phone company knowing about it.
You can make all the free long distance calls you want by calling your party collect at a pay
phone. Just have your friend go to a prearranged phone booth at a prearranged time. This
can be done on the spot by having the friend call you person to person. Say you're not in,
but ask for the number calling you since you'll be "back" in five minutes. Once you get the
number simply hang up, wait a moment and call back your friend collect. The call has to be
out of the state to work, since operators are familiar with the special extension numbers
assigned to pay phones for her area and possibly for nearby areas as well. If she asks you if
it is a pay phone say no. If she finds out during the call (which rarely happens) and informs
you of this, simply say you didn't expect the party to have a pay phone in his house and
accept the charges. We have never heard of this happening though. The trick of calling
person-to-person collect should always be used when calling long distance on
home-to-home phones also. You can hear the voice of your friend saying that he'll be back in
a few minutes. Simply hang up, wait a moment and call station to station, thereby getting a
person-to-person call without the extra charges which can be considerable on a long call
during business hours.
If you plan to stay at your present address for only a few more months, stop paying the bill
and call like crazy. After a month you get the regular bill which you avoid paying. Another
month goes by and the next bill comes with last month's balance added to it. Shortly
thereafter you get a note advising you that your service will be terminated in ten days if you
don't pay the bill. Wait a few days and send them a five or ten dollar money order with a
note saying you've had an accident and are pressed for funds because of large medical
bills, but you'll send them the balance as soon as you are up and around again. That will
hold them for another month. In all, you can stretch it out for four or five months with a
variety of excuses and small payments. This also works with the gas and electric companies
and with any department stores you conned into letting you charge.
You can get the service deposit reduced to half of the normal rate if you are a student or
have other special qualifications. Surprisingly, these rates and discounts vary from area to
area, so check around before you go into the business office for your phone. There is an
incredible 50 cents charge per month for not having your phone listed. If you want an
unlisted phone, you can avoid this fee by having the phone listed in a fictitious name, even if
the bill is sent to you. Just say you want your roommate's name listed instead of your own.
FREE PLAY
MOVIES AND CONCERTS
There are many ways to sneak into theaters, concerts, stadiums and other entertainment
houses. All these places have numerous fire exits with push-bar doors that open easily from
the inside. Arrive early with a group of friends, after casing the joint and selecting the most
convenient exit. Pay for one person to get in. When he does he simply opens the designated
exit door when the ushers are out of the area and everyone rushes inside.
For theatrical chains in large cities, call their home office and ask to speak to the
vice-president in charge of publicity, sales, or personnel. Ask what his name is so you'll know
who you're talking to. When you get the information you want, hang up. Now you have the
name of a high official in the company. Compile a short list of officials in the various film,
theater and sporting event companies. Next all the various theaters and do the same thing
for the theater managers. Once you have the two lists you are ready to proceed. Call the
theater you want to attend. When someone answers say you're Mr. __________ from the
home office calling Mr. __________ (manager's name) and you'd like to have two passes
O.K'd for two important people from out of town. Invariably she'll just ask their names or
tell them to mention your name at the box office. Not only will you get in free, but you can
avoid waiting in line with this fake-out.
In Los Angeles and New York, the studios hold pre-release screenings for all movies. If you
know roughly when a movie is about to come out, call the publicity department of the
studio producing the film and say you're the critic for a newspaper or magazine (give the
name) and ask them when you can screen the film. They'll give you the time and place of
various screenings. When you go, ask them to put you on their list and you'll get notices of
all future screenings.
One of our favorite ways to sneak into a theater with continuously running shows is the
following. Arrive just as the show is emptying out and join the line leaving the theater.
Exclaiming, "Oh, my gosh!" you slap your forehead, turn around and return, tell the usher
you left your hat, pocketbook, etc. inside. Once you're inside the theater, just swipe some
popcorn and wait for the next show.
RECORDS AND BOOKS
If you have access to a few addresses, you can get all kinds of records and books from
clubs on introductory offers. Since the cards you mail back are not signed there is no legal
way you can be held for the bill. You get all sorts of threatening mail, which, by the way, also
comes free.
If you have a friend who is a member of a record club, ask him to submit your name as a
free member. He gets 4 free records for getting you signed up. A soon as you get the letter
saying how lucky you are to be a member, quit. Your friend's free records have already
been shipped. We used to have at least 10 different names and addresses working on all
the record and book companies. Every other day we would ride around collecting the big
packages. To cap it off, we opened a credit account at a large department store and used
to return most of the records and books to the store saying that they were gifts and we
wanted something else. Since we had an account at the store, they always took the
merchandise and gave credit for future purchases.
You can always use the public libraries. Find out when they do their yearly housecleaning.
Every library discards thousands of books on this day. Just show up and ask if you can take
some.
Almost anything you might want to know from plans for constructing a sundial to a
complete blueprint for building a house may be obtained free from the Government
Printing Office. Write: to Superintendent of Documents, Government Printing Office,
Washington D.C. 20402. Most publication are free. Those that are not are dirt cheap. Ask
to be put on the list to receive the free biweekly list of Selected U.S. Government
Publications.
One of the best ways to receive records and books free is to invest twenty dollars and print
up some stationery with an artistic logo for some non-existent publication. Write to all the
public relations departments of record companies, publishing houses, and movie studios.
Say you are a newspaper with a large youth readership and have regular reviews of books,
or records, or movies, and would like to be placed on their mailing list. Say that you would
be glad to send them any reviews of their records that appear in the paper. That adds a
note of authenticity to the letter. After a month or so you'll be receiving more records and
books than you can use.
If you really want a book badly enough, follow the title of this one-Dig!
FREE MONEY
No book on survival should fail to give you some good tips on how to rip-off bread. Really
horning in on this chapter will put you on Free-loader Street life, 'cause with all the money
in Amerika, the only thing you'll have trouble getting is poor.
WELFARE
It's easy to get on welfare that anyone who is broke and doesn't have a regular relief check
coming in is nothing but a goddamn lazy bum! Each state has a different set up. The racist
penny-pinchers of Mississippi dole out only $8.00 a month. New York dishes ont the most
with monthly payments up to $120.00. The Amerikan Public Welfare Association publishes
a book called The Public Welfare Directory with information on exactly what each welfare
agency provides and how you go about qualifying. You can read the directory at any public
library to find out all you can about how your local office operates.
When you've discovered everything you need to know, head on down to the Welfare
Department in your grubbiest clothes. Not sleeping the night before helps. The receptionist
will assign an "intaker" to interview you. After a long wait, you'll be directed to a desk. The
intaker raps to you for a while, generally showing sympathy for your plight and turns you
over to the caseworker who will make the final and ultimate assessment.
Have your heaviest story ready to ooze out. If you have no physical disabilities, lay down a
"mentally deranged" rap. Getting medical papers saying you have any long-term illness or
defect helps a lot. Tell the caseworker you get dizzy spells on the job and faint in the
street. Keep bobbing your head, yawning, or scratching. Tell him that you have tried to
commit suicide recently because you just can't make it in a world that has forgotten how to
love. Don't lay it on too obviously. Wait till he "pries" some of the details from you. This
makes the story even more convincing. Many welfare workers are young and hip. The image
you are working on is that of a warm, sensitive kid victimized by brutal parents and a cold
ruthless society. Tell them you held off coming for months because you wanted to maintain
some self-respect even though have been walking the streets broke and hungry. If you are a
woman tell him you were recently raped. In sexist Amerika, this will probably be true.
After about an hour or so of this soap-opera stuff, you'll be ready to get your first check.
From then on it's a monthly check, complete medical care for free and all sorts of other
outasight benefits. Occasionally the caseworker will drop by your pad or ask you down to
the office to see how you're coming along, but with your condition, things don't look so
good. Don't abandon hope though. Hope always helps fill in a caseworker's report.
The real trick is to parlay welfare payments in a few different states. Work out an exchange
system with a buddy and mail each other the checks when they come in. If the caseworker
comes by, your roommate can say you went to find a job or enrolled in a class. We know
cats who have parlayed welfare payments up to six hundred dollars a month.
UNEMPLOYMENT
Every outlaw should learn everything there is to know about the rules governing
unemployment insurance. As in the case of welfare rules, eligibility, and the size of
payments differ from state to state. In New York, you are eligible for payments equivalent
to half your weekly salary before taxes up to $65 per week, on the condition that you have
worked for a minimum of twenty weeks during the year. Payments are somewhat lower in
most other states. In order to collect, you must show you are actively searching for a job
and keep a record of employers you contact. This can easily be fudged. Every time you're
questioned about it, mention one or two companies. If your hair is long, you'll have no
problem. Just say they won't hire you until you get a haircut. When this is the case, the
unemployment office cannot cut off your payments or your hair. They also cannot make you
accept a job you do not want. Tell them any job offer you get is not challenging enough for
your talents. Unemployment can be collected for six months before payments are
terminated. Twenty more weeks of slavery and you can go back to maintaining your dignity
in the unemployment line. These job insurance payments cannot be taxed and since you are
working so few weeks out of each year, your taxable income is at a minimum. Read all the
fine print for tax form 1040 and discover all the deductible loopholes available to you. You
should wind up paying no taxes at all or having all the taxes that were deducted from your
pay reimbursed. Never turn over to the pig government any funds you can rip off.
Remember, it isn't your government, so why submit to its taxation if you feel you do not
have representation.
PANHANDLING
The practice of going up to folks and bumming money is a basic hustling art. If you are
successful at panhandling, you'll be able to master all the skills in the book and then some.
To be good at it requires a complete knowledge of what motivates people. Even if we don't
need the bread, we panhandle on the streets in the same way doctors go back to medical
school. It helps us stay in shape. Panhandling is illegal throughout Pig Empire, but it's one
of those laws that is rarely enforced unless they want to "clean the area" of hippies. If you're
in a strange locale, ask a fellow panhandler what the best places to work are without risking
a bust. Do it in front of supermarkets, theaters, sporting events, hip dress shops and
restaurants. College cafeterias are very good hunting grounds.
When you're hustling, be assertive. Don't lean against the wall with your palm out mumbling
"Spare some change?" Go up to people and stand directly in front of them so they have to
look you in the eye and say no. Bum from guys with dates. Bum from motherly looking
types. After a while you'll get a sense of the type of people you get results with.
Theater can be real handy. The best actors get the most bread. Devising a street theater
skit can help. A good prop is a charity canister. You can get them by going to the offices of
a mainstream charity and signing up as a collector. Don't feel bad about ripping them off.
Charities are the biggest swindle around. 80% or more of the funds raised by honky
charities go to the organization itself. New fancy cars for the Red Cross, inflated salaries
for the executives of the Cancer Fund, tax write-offs for Jerry Lewis. You get the picture. A
good way to work this and keep your karma in shape is to turn over half to a revolutionary
groups such as your local underground. Remember, fugitives from injustice depend on you
to survive. Be a responsible member of our nation. Support the only war we have going!
RIP-OFFS
If you are closing out your checking account, overdraw your account by $10.00. The bank
won't bother chasing you down for a lousy 10 bucks.
Call the telephone operator from time to time and tell her you lost some change in a pay
phone. They will mail you the cash.
You can get $150 to $600 in advance by willing your body to a University medical school.
They have you sign a lot of papers and put a tattoo on your foot. You can get the tattoo
removed and sell your body to the folks across the street. The universities can be ripped off
by enrolling, applying for a loan and bugging out after the loan comes through. This is a lot
easier than you might imagine and you can hit them for up to $2,500 with a good enough
story.
Put a number 14 brass washer in a newspaper vending machine and take out all the
papers. Stand around the corner or go into the local bar and sell them. You often get
tipped. Don't do this with underground papers. Remember they're your brothers and
sisters.
The airlines will give you $250 for each piece of luggage you lose when flying. The following is
a good way to lose your luggage. When you get off a plane, have a friend meet you at the
gate. Give him your luggage claim stubs and arrange to meet at a washroom or restaurant.
Your friend picks up the bags and takes them out of the baggage room. Before he leaves
the airport, he turns over the stubs to you at your prearranged rendezvous. You casually
wander over to the baggage department and search for your elusive luggage. When all the
baggage has been claimed, file a complaint with the lost and found department. They'll
have you fill out a form, explain that it probably got misplaced on another carrier and
promise to send it to you as soon as it is located. In a month you'll receive a check for $250
per bag. Enjoy your flight.
THE INTERNATIONAL YIPPIE CURRENCY EXCHANGE
Every time you drop a coin into a slot, you are losing money needlessly. There is at least
one foreign coin that is the same size or close enough that will do the trick for less than a
penny. The following are some of the foreign currencies that will get you that Coke, call or
subway ride.
Quarter Size Coins
URUGUAYAN 10 CENTISIMO PIECE
works in many soda and candy machines, older telephones (3 slot types), toll
machines, laundromats, parking meters, stamp machines, and restroom novelty
machines. Works also in some electric cancerette machines but not most
mechanical machines.
DANISH 5 ORE PIECE
works in 3 slot telephones, toll machines, laundromats, automats, some stamp
machines, most novelty machines, and the Boston Subway. Does not work in soda
or cancerette machines.
PERUVIAN 20 CENTAVO PIECES
works in new (one slot) telephone and some electric cancerette machines, but
does not work as many places in the Uruguay, Danish and Peruvian coins.
ICELANDIC 5 AURAN PIECE
most effective quarter in the world, even works in change machines.
Unfortunately, this coin is practically impossible to get outside of Iceland and
even there, it is becoming difficult since the government is attempting to remove
it from circulation.
Dime Size Coins
MALAYSIAN PENNY
generally works in all dime slots, including old and new telephones, candy
machines, soda machines, electric machines, stamp machines, parking meters,
photocopy machines, and pay toilets. Does not work in some newer stamp
dispensers, and some mechanical cancerette machines.
TRINIDAD PENNY
generally works the same as Malaysian Penny.
New York Subway Tokens
DANISH 25 ORE PIECE
works in 95% of all subway turnstiles. A very safe coin to use since it will not jam
the turnstile. It is 5/l000th of an inch bigger than a token.
PORTUGUESE 50 CENTAVO PIECE
the average Portuguese Centavo Piece is 2/1000th of an inch smaller than a
token.
JAMAICAN HALF PENNY, BAHAMA PENNY and AUSTRALIAN SCHILLING
these coins are 12/l000th to 15/1000th of an inch smaller than token. They work
in about 80% of all turnstiles. We have also had good success with FRENCH l
FRANC PIECE (WWII issue), SPANISH l0 CENTAVO PIECE NICARAGUAN 25
CENTAVO PIECE.
All of the coins listed have a currency value of a few cents, with most less than one penny.
Foreign coins work more regularly than slugs and are non-magnetic, hence cannot be
detected by "slug detector machines." Also unlike slugs, although they are illegal to use in
machines, they are perfectly legal to possess and exchange.
Large coin dealers and currency exchanges are generally uptight about handling cheap
foreign coins in quantity since they don't make much profit and are subject to certain
pressures in selling coins that are the same size as Amerikan coins or tokens.
People planning trips to European or South American countries should bring back rolls of
coins as souvenirs or for use in "coin jewelry."
If you do not plan to travel, a small coin store which is cool about selling to the public is
located on the Lower East Side at 191 East Third Street, New York City. When their phone
works, the number is 475-9897.
Washers are the most popular types of slugs. You can go to any hardware store and match
them up with various coins. Sometimes you might have to put a small piece of scotch tape
over one side of the hole to make it more effective. Each washer is identified by its material
and number, i.e. No. 14 brass washer with scotch tape on one side is a perfect dime. When
you get the ones you want, you can buy thousands for next to nothing (especially at
industrial supply stores) and pass them out to our friends.
Xerox copies of both sides of a dollar bill, carefully glued together, work in most machines
that give you change for a dollar. Excuse us, there is a knock at the door. . .Fancy that! It's
the Treasury Department. Wonder what they want?
FREE DOPE
BUYING, SELLING AND GIVING IT AWAY
As you probably know, most dope is illegal, therefore some risks are always involved in
buying and selling. "Eternal vigilance and constant mobility are the passwords of survival,"
said Che Guevara, and nowhere do they apply more than in the world of dope. If you ever
have the slightest doubt about the person with whom you're dealing-DON'T.
Buying
In the purchasing of dope, arrests are not a problem unless you're the fall guy for a bust on
the dealer. The major hazard is getting burned. Buy from a friend or a reputable dealer. If
you have to do business with a stranger, be extra careful. Never front money. One of the
burn artist's tricks is to take your money, tell you to wait and split with your dough. There
are various side show gimmicks each burn artist works. The most common is to ask you to
walk with them a few blocks and then stop in front of an apartment building. He then tells
you the dope is upstairs and asks you to hand over the money in advance. He explains that
his partner is the real uptight 'cause they were raided once and won't let anybody in the
pad. He takes your dough and disappears inside the building. Out the back door or up to
the roof and into his getaway helicopter. You are left on the sidewalk with anxious eyes and
that "can this really be happening to me" feeling.
Another burn method is to substitute oregano, parsley or catnip for pot, camel shit for
hash, saccharin or plain pills for acid. If you got burned for heroin or speed, you're better
off being taken, because these are body-fuck drugs that can mess you up badly. The people
that deal them are total pigs and should be regarded as such. When you're buying from
strangers, you have a right to sample the merchandise free unless it's coke. Check the
weight of grass with a small pocket scale. Feel the texture and check out how well it has
been cleaned of seeds and twigs. Smoke a joint that is rolled from the stuff you get. Don't
accept the dealer's sample that he pulled out of his pocket. When you are buying a large
amount of acid, pick a sample. You should never buy acid from a stranger as it is too easy a
burn.
If you buy cocaine, bring along a black light. Only the imparities glow under its fluorescence,
thus giving you an idea of the quality of the coke. Make sure it's the real thing. Sniffing coke
can perforate your nasal passages, so be super moderate. Too much will kill you. A little bit
goes a long way.
Selling
Dealing, although dangerous, is a tax-free way of surviving even though it borders on work.
The best way to start is to save up a little bread and buy a larger quantity than you usually
get. Then deal out smaller amounts to your friends. The fewer strangers you deal with, the
safer you are. The price of dope varies with the amount of stuff on the market in your area,
the heat the narks are bringing down and the connections you have. A rough scale, say, for
pot is $20 an ounce, $125 a pound and $230 a kilo (2.2 pounds). The price per ounce
decreases depending on the amount you get. It's true you make more profit selling by the
ounces, but the hassle is greater and the more contacts you must make increases the risk.
Screwing your customers will prove to be bad karma (unless you consider dying groovy), so
stick to honest dealing. Never deal from your pad and avoid keeping your stash there. Get
into searching out the best markets which are generally in California, given its close
proximity to good ol' Mexico. Kansas is a big distribution center for Mexican grass, too. You
can ship the stuff (safer than carrying) via air freight anywhere in the country for about $30
a trunk. Keep the sending and receiving end looking straight. We have one friend who wears
a priest's outfit to ship and receive dope. In fact, every time we see nuns or priests on the
street, we assume they're outlaws just on their way to the next deal or bombing. For all we
know, the church actually is nothing but a huge dope ring in drag. Anybody gotten high off
communion wafers lately?
When you talk about deals on the phone, be cool. Make references to theater tickets or
subscriptions. Don't keep extensive notes on your activities and contacts. Use code names
where you can. Never deal with two other people present. Only you and the buyer should be
in the immediate vicinity. Narks make busts in pairs so one can be the arresting officer and
the other can be a court witness. Dealing is a paradox of unloading a good amount of shit
but not trying to move too fast; of making ne contacts but being careful of strangers; of
dealing high quality and low prices; and of being simultaneously bold and cautious. If you
get nabbed, get the best lawyer who specializes in dope busts. First offenders rarely end
up serving time, but it's a different story for repeaters. Know how punitive the courts are
and which judges and prosecutors can be bought off. Never deal in the month before an
election. For complete information on how to avoid getting busted and what to do if busted,
read The Drug Bust (listed in appendix).
Giving It Away
Giving dope away can be a real mind-blower. Every dealer should submit to voluntary
taxation by the new Nation. If you are a conscientious dealer, you should be willing and
eager to give a good hunk of your stash away at special events or to groups into free
distribution. You should also be able to give bread to bust trusts set up to bail out heads
unable to get up the ransom money the whisky lush courts demand. Many groups have
done huge mailings of joints to all sorts of people. A group in New York mailed 30,000 to
people in the phone book on one Valentine's Day. A group in Los Angeles placed over 2,000
joints in library books and then advised kids to smoke a book during National Library Week.
Be cool about even giving stuff away since that counts as dealing in most states. John
Sinclair, Chairman of the White Panther Party, is serving 9˝ to 10 years for giving away two
joints.
GROW YOUR OWN
Pot is a weed and as such grows in all climates under every kind of soil condition. We have
seen acres and acres of grass growing in Kansas, Iowa and New Jersey. If you're not located
next door to a large pot field growing in the wild, maybe you would have some success in
growing your own. It's well worth it to try your potluck!
The first thing is to start with a bunch of good-quality seeds from grass that you really dig.
Select the largest seeds and place them between two heavy-duty napkins or ink blotters in
a pan. Soak the napkins with water until completely saturated. Cover the top of the pan or
place it in a dark closet for three days or until a sprout about a half inch long appears from
most of the seeds.
During this incubation period, you can prepare the seedling bed. Use a low wooden box
such as a tomato flat and fill it with an inch of gravel. Fill the rest of the box with some soil
mixed with a small amount of fertilizer. Moisten the soil until water seeps out the bottom
of the box, then level the soil making a flat surface. With a pencil, punch holes two inches
apart in straight rows. You can get about 2 dozen in a tomato flat.
When the incubation period is over, take those seeds that have an adequate sprout and
plant one in each hole. The sprout goes down and the seed part should be a little above
ground. Tamp the soil firmly (do not pack) around each plant as you insert the sprouts.
The seedlings should remain in their boxes in a sunny window until about mid-May. They
should receive enough water during this period to keep the soil moist. By the time they are
ready to go into the ground, the green plants should be about six to eight inches tall.
If it is late winter or early spring and you have a plot of land that gets enough sun and is
sheltered from nosy neighbors, you should definitely grow grass in the great outdoors.
One idea is to plant sunflowers in your garden as these grow taller than the pot plants and
camouflage them from view. The best idea is to find some little-used field and plant a
section of it.
Prepare the land the way you would for any garden vegetable. Dig up the ground with a
pitchfork or heavy duty rake, removing rocks. Rake the plot level and punch holes in the soil
about three inches deep and about two feet apart in the same way you did in the seedling
boxes. Remove the young plants from the box, being careful not to disturb the roots and
keeping as much soil intact as possible. Transplant each plant into one of the punched-out
holes and firmly press the soil to hold it in place. When all the plants are in the ground,
water the entire area. Tend them the way you would any other garden. They should reach a
height of about six feet by the end of the summer and be ready to harvest.
If you don't have access to a field, you can grow good stuff right in your own closet or
garage using artificial lighting. Transplant the plants into larger wooden boxes or flower
boxes. Be sure and cover the bottom of each box with a few inches of pebbles or broken
pottery before you add the soil. This will insure proper drainage. Fertilize the soil according
to the instructions on the box and punch out holes in much the same way you would do if
you were growing outside. After the young plants have been transplanted and watered
thoroughly, you will have to rig up a lighting system. Use blue light bulbs, which are available
at hardware stores for the first thirty days. These insure a shorter, sturdier stalk. Leave the
lights on 24 hours a day and place them about a foot above the tops of the plants. If the
plants begin to feel brittle or turn yellow at the edges, then the temperature is too hot.
Use less illumination or raise the height of the lamp if this occurs.
After the first thirty days, change to red bulbs and cut down the lighting time to 16 hours a
day. After a week, reduce the time to 14 hours and then on the third week to 12 hours.
Maintain this lighting period until the plants flower. The female plants have a larger and
heavier flower structure and the males are somewhat skimpy. The female plant produces
the stronger grass and the choicest parts are the top leaves including the flowers.
Inside or outside, the plants will be best if allowed to reach maturity, although they are
smokeable at any point along the way. When you want to harvest the crop, wet the soil and
pull out the entire plant. If you want to separate the top leaves from the rest, you can do so
and make two qualities of grass. In any event, let the plants dry in the sun for two weeks
until they are thoroughly dried out. If you want to hurry the drying process, you can do it in
an oven using a very low heat for about twenty minutes. After you've completed the drying,
you can "cure'" the grass by putting the plants in plastic bags and sprinkling drops of wine,
rum or plain booze on them. This greatly increases the potency.
There are two other ways that we know work to increase the potency of grass you grow or
buy. One consists of digging a hole and burying a stash of grass wrapped in a plastic bag. A
few months in the ground will produce a mouldy grass that is far fuckin' out. A quick
method is to get a hunk of dry ice, put it in a metal container or box with a tight lid (taping
the lid airtight helps), and sprinkling the grass on top. Allow it to sit tightly covered for
about three days until all the dry ice evaporates.
ASSORTED FREEBIES
LAUNDRY
Wait in a laundromat. Tell someone with a light load that you'll watch the machine for them
if you can stick your clothes in with theirs.
PETS
Your local ASPCA will give you a free dog, cat, bird or other pet. Have them inspect and
inoculate the animal which they will do free of charge. You can get free or very cheap
medical care for your pet at a school for veterinary medicine.
Underground newspapers often carry a free-pets column in the back pages. Snakes can be
caught in any wooded area and they make great pets. You can collect insects pretty easy.
Ants are unbelievable to watch. You can make a simple 3/4 inch wide glass case about a
foot high, fill it with sand and start an ant colony. A library book will tell you how to care for
them.
Every year the National Park Service gives away surplus elks in order to keep the herds
under its jurisdiction from outgrowing the amount of available land for grazing. Write to:
Superintendent, Yellowstone National Park, Yellowstone, Wyoming 83020. You must be
prepared to pay the freight charges for shipping the animal and guarantee that you can
provide enough grazing land to keep the big fellow happy.
Under the same arrangement the government will send you a Free Buffalo. Write to: Office
of Information, Department of the Interior, Washington, D.C. 20420. So many people have
written them recently demanding their Free Buffalo, that they called a press conference to
publicly attack the Yippies for creating chaos in the government. Don't take any buffalo shit
from these petty bureaucrats, demand the real thing. Demand your Free Buffalo.
You can get a free l6mm movie about parakeets called "More Fun with Parakeets," by
writing to: R.T. French Co., 9068 Mustard St., Rochester, New York 14609. This great film
won an Academy Award for best picture of 1793.
POSTERS
Beautiful wall posters are available by writing to the National Tourist Agencies of various
countries. Most are located between 42nd and 59th Streets on Fifth Ave. in New York City.
You can find their addresses in the New York Yellow Pages under both National Tourist
Agencies and Travel Agencies. There are over fifty of them. Prepare a form letter saying you
are a high school geography teacher and would like some posters of the country to
decorate your classroom. In a month you will be flooded with them. Airline companies also
have colorful wall posters they send out free.
SECURITY
For this trick you need some money to begin with. Deposit it in a bank and return in a few
weeks telling them you lost your bank book. They give you a card to fill out and sign and in a
week you will receive another book. Now withdraw your money, leaving you with original
money and a bank book showing a balance. You can use this as identification to prevent
vagrancy busts when traveling, as collateral for bail, or for opening a charge account at a
store.
Another trick is to buy some American Travelers Checks. Wait a week and report your
checks lost. They'll give you new ones to replace the missing ones. You spend your new
checks and keep the ones you reported lost as security. This security is great for
international travel especially at border crossings. If you want, you can spend the Travelers
Checks by giving them to a friend to forge your name. Before you call the office to report
the loss, call the police station and say you were mugged and your wallet was stolen. The
agency always asks if you have reported the lost checks to the police, so you can safely
answer yes. Never do this for more than five hundred dollars and never more than once with
any one company.
POSTAGE
When mailing to the same city, address the envelope or package to yourself and put the
name of the person you are sending it to where the return address generally goes. Mail it
without postage and it will be "returned" to the sender. Because almost all letters are
machine processed, any stamp that is the correct size will pass. Easter Seals and a variety
of other type stamps usually get by the electronic scanner. If you put the stamp on a spot
other than the far upper right corner, it will not be cancelled and can be used again by the
person who gets your letter. If you have a friend working in a large corporation, you can run
your organization's mail through their postage meter.
Those ridiculous free introductory or subscription type letters that you get in the mail
often have a postage-guaranteed return postcard for your convenience. The next one you
get, paste it on a brick and drop it in the mailbox. The company is required by law to pay
the postage. You can also get rid of all your garbage this way.
MAPS
You can get a free full-color World Atlas by writing to Hammond Inc. Maplewood, New
Jersey 07040.
MINISTRY
Unquestionably one of the best deals going is becoming a minister in the Universal Life
Church. They will send you absolutely free, bona fide ordination papers. These entitle you to
all sorts of discounts and tax exemptions. Right now, sit down and write to Universal Life
Church Inc., 601 3rd St., Modesto, California 95351. Try cutting out the card on the
following page and laminate it. Let us know how it works out.
ATROCITIES
Join the Army!
VETERAN'S BENEFITS
Write to the Veteran's Administration Information Service, Washington, D.C. 20420 asking
them for the free services they provide for veterans. Send fifteen cents to the Government
Printing Office for their booklet Federal Benefits Available to Veterans and Their
Dependents.
WATCH
A $330 Bulova sport timer accurate to 1/10 of a second will be lent free to judges and
referees to time any amateur sporting event. Call your local authorized Bulova dealer and
get one lent to you under a phony name. Tell them you want to time an orgy.
VACATIONS
There are many ways to take a free vacation, but here's one you might not have considered.
It's an all-expenses paid trip to Las Vegas for absolutely nothing. Call a travel agent and
request information about Las Vegas gambling junkets (you'll probably have to hunt around
because this practice is being curtailed). Different hotels have different deals, but the
average one runs something like this: If you agree to buy $500 worth of chips that can only
be spent on gambling tables of the host hotel, they will fly you round trip, pay all hotel and
food bills and provide you with a rented car. Go with a close friend and check into the hotel.
Once at the roulette or craps table, you and your friend bet the same amount of chips
against each other on even-paying chances. For example, he would bet on red and you on
black. When either of you wins, you keep the house chips; when you lose, turn in the
specially marked chips that cannot be cashed in. What you are doing is simply exchanging
the chips you came with for house chips that you can cash in for real dough. Theoretically
your two vacations should cost $23.00 if you do the betting at the crap table and $52.00 if
you bet even chances at roulette. That is because the house wins if 0 or 00 comes up in
roulette and if 12 comes up on the first roll of the dice, but it sure is a hell of a vacation for
two for $23.00, and you get free champagne on some flights.
You can get half a vacation free by going to the Amerikan Embassy or Consulate in the
country you find yourself in and claim that you're destitute. There is a law on the books that
says they have to send you away, but be persistent. Make up a story about how your
parents are away from home traveling. Say you got mugged or something and you are
about to go to the newspapers with your story. Eventually they'll get you a free plane ticket.
They stamp your passport invalid though, and you have to pay the government back before
you can use it again.
DRINKS
When hitching, it's a good idea to carry a bottle opener and a straw. You take the caps off
soda bottles while they're still in the machine and drink them dry without ever touching the
bottle.
BURIALS
For ways to avoid the high cost of dying in Amerika, write to: Continental Association, 39
East Van Buren St., Chicago, Ill. 60605. Send them $1.00 for the Manual of Simple Burial
and 25˘ for a list of Memorial Associates.
ASTRODOME PICTURES
Don't you just have to have a huge, glossy color photo of Houston's famed Astrodome to
show all your friends? Use the teacher bit and write to: Greater Houston Convention and
Visitors Council, 1600 Main St., Houston, Texas 77002.
DIPLOMA
Above the paper towel dispenser in a service station restroom was written: "San Francisco
State Diplomas." If you really need a college or a high school diploma, send $2.00 to
Glenco, Box 834, Warren, Michigan 48090. They send you one that looks real authentic. It
ain't Harvard, but it looks good enough to frame and put on your wall.
TOILETS
Sneak Under!
FIGHT!
Tell It All, Brothers and Sisters
STARTING A PRINTING WORKSHOP
Leaflets, posters, newsletters, pamphlets and other printed matter are important to any
revolution. A printing workshop is a definite need in all communities, regardless of size. It
can vary from a garage with a mimeograph machine to a mammoth operation complete
with printing presses and fancy photo equipment. With less than a hundred dollars and
some space, you can begin this vital service. It'll take a while before you get into printing
greenbacks, phony identification papers and credit cards like the big boys, but to walk a
mile you must start with one step as Gutenberg once said.
Paper
The standard size for paper is 8˝" x 11". It comes 500 sheets to a "ream" and 10 reams to
a case. You want a 16-20 bond weight sheet. The higher weights are better if you are
printing on both sides. You can purchase what are termed "odd lots" from most paper
companies. This means that the colors will be assorted and some sheets will be frayed at
the edges or wrinkled. Odd lots can be purchased at great discounts. Some places sell
paper this way for 10% of the original price and for leaflets, different colors help. Check
this out with paper suppliers in your area.
Ink
Inks come in pastes and liquids and are available in stationary stores and office supply
houses. Each machine requires its own type ink, so learn what works best with the one you
have. Colored ink is slightly more expensive but available for most machines.
Stencils
Each machine uses a particular size and style stencil. If you get stuck with the wrong kind
and can't get out to correct the mistake, you can punch extra holes in the top, trim them
with a scissors if they are too big or add strips of tape to the sides if too narrow.
Be sure and use only the area that will fit on the paper you are using. Most stencils can be
used for paper larger than standard size. Stencils will "cut" a lot neater if an electric
typewriter is used. If you only have access to e manual machine, remove the ribbon so the
keys will strike the stencil directly. A plastic sheet, provided by the supplier, can be
inserted between the stencil and its backing to provide sharper cuts by the keys. If you
hold the stencil up to a light, you should be able to clearly see the typing. If you can't, you'll
have to apply more pressure.
Sketches can be done with a ball point pen or special stylus directly on the stencil. If you're
really rushed, or there isn't that much info to get on the leaflet, you can hand-print the text
using these instruments. Take care not to tear the stencil.
Mimeograph Machines
The price of a new mimeograph runs from $200 to $1200, depending on how sophisticated
a machine you need and can afford. A.B. Dick and Gestetner are the most popular brands.
Many supply houses have used machines for sale. Check the classified section for bargains.
See if any large corporations are moving, going out of business or have just had a fire.
Chances are they'll be unloading printing equipment at cheap prices. Campaign offices of
losing candidates often have mimeos to unload in November. Many supply houses have
renting and leasing terms that you might be interested in considering. Have an idea of the
work load and type of printing you'll be handling before you go hunting. Talk to someone who
knows what they're doing before you lay down a lot of cash on a machine.
Duplicators
We prefer duplicators to mimeos even though the price is a little higher. They work faster,
are easier to operate and print clearer leaflets. The Gestener Silk Screen Duplicator is the
best bet. It turns out stuff almost as good as offset printing. You can do 10 thousand
sheets an hour in an assortment of colors.
Electronic Stencils
If you use electronic stencils you can do solid lettering, line drawings, cartoons and black
and white pictures with good contrast. To make an electronic stencil, you map out on a
sheet of paper everything you want printed. This is a photo process, so make sure only what
you want printed shows up on the sheet. You can use a light blue pencil for guide lines as it
won't photograph, but be neat anyway. Printing shops will cut a stencil on a special
machine for about $3.00.
The Gestefax Electronic Stencil Cutter can be leased or rented in the same way as the
duplicator. If you are doing a lot of printing for a number of different groups, this machine
will eliminate plenty of hassle. The stencils cost about 20˘ each and take about fifteen
minutes to make.
If you have an electronic stencil cutter, duplicator, electric typewriter and a cheap source
of paper, you can do almost any printing job imaginable. Have a dual rate system: one for
community groups and another for regular business orders. You can use the profits to go
towards the purchasing of more equipment and to build toward the day when you can get
your own offset press.
Silk Screening
Posters banners and shirts that are unbelievable can be printed by this exciting method.
The process is easy to learn and teach. You'll need a fairly large area to work in since the
posters have to be hung up to dry. Pick up any inexpensive paperback book on silk
screening. The equipment costs less than $50.00 to begin. Once you get good at it, you can
print complicated designs in a number of different colors, including portraits.
UNDERGROUND NEWSPAPERS
Food conspiracies, bust trusts, people's clinics and demonstrations are all part of the new
Nation, but if asked to name the most important institution in our lives, one would have to
say the underground newspaper. It keeps tuned in on what's going on in the community and
around the world. Values, myths, symbols, and all the trappings of our culture are
determined to a large extent by the underground press. Each office serves as a welcome
mat for strangers, a meeting place for community organizers and a rallying force to fight
pig repression. There are probably over 500 regularly publishing with readerships running
from a few hundred to over 500,000. Most were started in the last three years. If your
scene doesn't have a paper, you probably don't have a scene together. A firmly established
paper can be started on about $2,500. Plan to begin with eight pages in black and white
with a 5,000 copy run. Each such issue will cost about $300 to print. You should have six
issues covered when you start. Another $700 will do for equipment. Offset printing is what
you'll want to get from a commercial printing establishment.
You need some space to start, but don't rush into setting up a storefront office until you
feel the paper's going to be successful. A garage, barn or spare apartment room will do
just fine. Good overhead fluorescent lighting, a few long tables, a bookcase, desk, chairs,
possibly a phone and you are ready to start.
Any typewriter will work, but you can rent an IBM Selectric typewriter with a deposit of
$120.00 and payments of $20.00 per month. Leasing costs twice as much, but you'll own
the machine when the payments are finished. The Selectric has interchangeable type that
works on a ball system rather than the old-fashion keys. Each ball costs $18.00, so by
getting a few you can vary the type the way a printer does.
A light-table can make things a lot easier when it comes to layout. Simply build a box (3' x
4' is a good size, but the larger the better) out of ˝" plywood. The back should be higher
than the front to provide a sloping effect. The top should consist of a shelf of frosted glass.
Get one strong enough to lean on. Inside the box, attach two fluorescent light fixtures to
the walls or base. The whole light table should cost less than $25.00. That really is about all
you need, except someone with a camera, a few good writers who will serve as reporters, an
artistic person to take care of layout, and someone to hassle printing deals, advertising and
distribution. Most people start by having everyone do everything.
Layout
A tabloid size paper is 9 7/8" x 14 5/8" with an inch left over on each side for margins.
Columns typically are 3 1/4" allowing for three per page. Experience has found that this
size is easy to lay out and more importantly, easy to read. There is an indirect ratio
between readability and academic snobbishness. Avoid the textbook look. Remember, the
New York Times in its low form represents the Death Kulture.
Start off with a huge collection of old magazines and newspapers. You can cut up all sorts
of letters, borders, designs and sketches and paste them together to make eye-catching
headlines. Sheets of headline type are available in different styles from art stores for $1.25
a sheet. Buy one of each type and then photograph several copies of each, bringing the
price way down. The basic content in the prescribed column size should be banged out on
the IBM. The columns can be clipped together with a clothespin to avoid confusion. Use a
good heavy bond white opaque paper.
All black and white photographs from newspapers and magazines can be used directly.
Color pictures can also be used but it's tricky and you'll have to experiment a little to get
an understanding of what colors photograph poorly. Glossy black and white photographs
must be shot in half tones to keep the grey areas. You can have them processed at any
photo lab. You might also need the photo lab for enlargements or reductions, so make
contact and establish a good working relationship.
An Exacto knife is available for 29˘ and you can get a package of 100 blades for $10.00. A
few metal rulers, a good pair of scissors, some spray adhesive or rubber cement and you're
ready to paste the pages that will make up the "dummy" that goes to the printer. Each
page is laid out on special layout sheets with faint blue guide lines that don't photograph.
Any large art supply store sells these sheets and all the other supplies.
By working over a light-table, the paste-up can be done more professionally. Experiment
with many different layouts for each page before finally pasting up the paper. Don't have a
picture in the corner and the rest solid columns. Print can be run over pictures and
sketches by preparing two sheets for that page and shooting background in half-tones. The
columns don't have to be run straight up and down, but can run at different angles. The
most newsworthy articles should be towards the front of the paper. The centerfold can be
treated in an exciting manner. A good idea is to do the centerfold so that it can be used as
a poster to put on a wall after the paper is read. If you have ads, they should be kept near
the back. The masthead, which gives the staff, mailing address, and similar info, goes near
the front. Your focus should be the local activities. A section should be reserved for a
directly of local services and events. People giving things away should have a section. The
rest really depends on the life style and politics of the staff.
National stories can be supplied by one or more of the news services. Nothing in the
underground press is copyrighted, so you can reprint an interesting article from another
paper. It's customary to indicate what paper printed it first, or news service it was sent out
by. Any underground paper has permission to reprint hunks of this book.
Ads
Most papers find it necessary to get some advertising to help defray the production costs.
Some rely totally on subscription; some are outgrowths of organizations and still others are
printed up and just handed out free. The ones with ads seem to have the longest life. Make
up an ad rate before you put out the first issue. Ads are measured in inches of length. The
width is understood by everyone to be the width of the column. If you use the 3Ľ" column,
however, you'll want to let potential advertisers know you have wide columns.
The way to arrive at a reasonable rate is to estimate the total budget for each issue
(adding some for overhead and labor), then each page and finally each column inch. After a
little arithmetic you can get a good estimate of your printing cost per inch. Using our
figures throughout this section, it should come to about $2.00 per inch. Double this figure
and you'll arrive at the correct rate per advertising inch-$4.00. There should be special
lower rates for large ads, such as half or full pages. There should also be a special
arrangement for a continuous subscriber. If you have a classified section, another rate
based on number of words or lines is constructed. A service charge is fixed if you make up
the ad layout rather than the advertiser. The whole formula should be worked out and
printed up before you lay out the first issue.
The best place to get advertising is locally. Theaters, hip clothing stores, ice cream parlors,
and record stores are among the type of advertisers you should approach. After you build
up a circulation, you might want to seek out national advertisers. The Underground Press
Syndicate, Box 26, Village Station, New York, NY 10014, can be joined for $25.00, no dues
thereafter. They try to get national ads for you in addition to sending out a newsletter, a
news service, and making sure you get free subscriptions to the other underground papers.
The U.P.S. can also do many other things for you, like list you in their directory, obtain legal
advice, and bring you together with other underground papers for mutual benefit and
defense. Another way to get national advertising is to see who tends to advertise in other
underground papers. Send the publicity department of these companies letters and
samples of your paper. Never let ads make up more than half the paper.
Distribution
At the beginning you should aim for a bi-weekly paper with a gradual increase in the
number of pages. The price should be about 25˘. Check out the local laws about selling
papers on the street. It's probably allowed and is a neat way to get the paper around. Give
half to the street hawkers. Representatives at high schools and colleges should be sought
out. Bookstores and newsstands are good places to distribute. After your paper gets going
well, you might try for national distribution. The Cosmep Newsletter is put out by the
Committee of Small Magazines, Editors and Publishers, PO Box 1425, Buffalo, NY 14214.
In addition to good tips if you want to start a small literary magazine or publish your own
book, they provide an up-to-date list of small stores around the country that would be likely
to carry your paper. Subscriptions should be sought in the paper itself. If you get a lot,
check out second class mailing privileges. UPS can help with out-of-city distribution.
If you're in a smaller town, you might have to shop around or go to another city to get
printing done. Many printers print only pig swill, which brings up the point of getting busted
for obscenity which can be pretty common. You probably should incorporate, but contact a
sympathetic lawyer before you put out your first issue. During the summer there are
usually a few alternative media conferences organized by one group or another. You can
pick up valuable information and exchange ideas at these gatherings. UPS and the news
services will keep you posted. Good luck and write on!
HIGH SCHOOL PAPERS
The usual high school paper is run by puppet lackeys of the administration. It avoids
controversy, naughty language, and a host of other things foreign to the 4-H Club members
the school is determined to mass produce. The only thing the staff is good at is kissing the
principal's ass. Let's face it, the aim of a good high school newspaper should be to destroy
the high school. Publishing and distributing a heavy paper isn't going to earn you the Junior
Chamber of Commerce good citizenship award. You might have to be a little mysterious
about who the staff is until you understand the ground rules and who controls the
ballparkľthe people or the principal.
Many schools do not allow papers to be handed out on the school premises. These cases
are generally won by the newspapers that take the school to court. You can challenge the
rule and make the administration look like the dinosaurs they are by distributing sheets of
paper with only your logo and the school rule printed. By gaining outside publicity for the
first distribution of the paper, you might put the administration up tight about clamping
down on you. It might be difficult to explain in civics class when they get to the freedom of
the press stuff. Your paper should have one purpose in mindľto piss off the principal and
radicalize the students. If you run into problems, seek out a sympathetic lawyer. You can
get a helpful pamphlet from the ACLU, 156 5th Ave., New York, NY 10010, called
Academic Freedom in the Secondary Schools" for 25˘.
Tell your lawyer about the most recent (July 10, 1970) decision of the United States
District Court in Connecticut which ruled that the high school students of Rippowan High
School in Stanford can publish independent newspapers without having the contents
screened in advance by school officials.
The same info for underground papers applies to high school rags, only the price should be
much less if not free. To begin with, you might just mimeograph the first few issues before
trying photo-offset printing. It is very important to get the readers behind you in case you
have to go to war with the administration in order to survive. Maintain friendships with
above ground reporters, the local underground paper and radical community groups for
alliances.
G.I. PAPERS
A heavier scene than even the high schools exists in No-No Land of the military.
None-the-less, against incredible odds, courageous G.I.'s both here and overseas have
managed to put out a number of underground newspapers. If you are a G.I. interested in
starting a paper, the first thing to do is seek out a few buddies who share your views on the
military and arrange a meeting, preferably off the base. Once you have your group together,
getting the paper published will be no problem. Keeping your staff secret, you can have one
member contact with someone from a G.I. coffee house, anti-war organization or nearby
underground newspaper. This civilian contact person will be in a position to raise the bread
and arrange the printing and distribution of the paper. You can write one of the national G.I.
newspaper organizations listed at the end of this section if you are unable to find help
locally. The paper should be printed off the base. Government equipment should be
avoided.
Correspondence and subscriptions can be solicited through the use of a post office box.
Such a box is inexpensive and secret (at least that's what the G.I. papers now publishing
report) from military snoopers up tight about bad publicity if they get caught spying. If you
are mailing the paper to other G.I.'s use first class mail and a plain envelope. This is advice
to anybody sending stuff to a G.I. The mail is handled by "lifers" who will report
troublemakers to their C.O. (Commanding Officer) if they notice anti-war slogans on
envelopes or dirty commie rags coming their way.
You'll want to publish stuff relevant to the lives of the G:I.'s on your base. News of
demonstrations, articles on the war, racism, counter-culture and vital info on how to bug
the higher-ups and get out of the military service are all good. Get samples of other
newspapers already in operation to get the flavor of writing that has become popular.
Distributing the paper is really more of a problem than the publishing. Here you run smack
into Catch 22, which says, "no printed matter may be distributed on a military base without
prior written permission of the commanding officer." No such permit has been granted in
military history. A few court battles have had limited success and you should go through
the formality of obtaining a permit. Send the first issue of the paper to your C.O. with a
cover letter stating where and when you intend to distribute the paper on the base. In no
part of the application should you list your names. Have a civilian, preferably a civil liberties
lawyer, sign the declaration of intent. If more info is requested, go over it with the lawyer
before responding, Natch, they're going to want to know who you are and where you get
your bread, but fuck 'em. Whether or not you get a permit or have a successful court battle
is pretty academic. If the military pigs catch you handing out an underground paper on the
base, you're headed for trouble. Use civilian volunteers from your local peace group in as
many public roles as possible. They'll be glad to help out.
Print and distribute as many copies as you can rather than concentrating on an expensively
printed paper with numerous pages. The very existence of the paper around the base is the
most important info the paper can offer. Leave some in mess halls, theaters, benches,
washrooms, and other suitable spots. Off base get the paper to sympathetic reporters,
coffee houses, colleges and the like. Outside U.S.O. centers and bus terminals are a good
place to get the paper out. Rely on donations, so you can make the paper free. Get it
together. Demand the right to join the army of your choice. The People's Army! As Joe Hill
said in one of his songs, "Yes, I'll pick up a gun but I won't guarantee which way I'll point it."
NEWS SERVICES
Aside from UPS, which is the association of papers, there are five news services that we
know of that you might be interested in subscribing to for national stories, photos,
production ideas, news of other papers and general movement dope. LNS is the best
known. It sends out packets once a week that include about thirty pages with original
articles, eye-witness reports, reprints from foreign papers and photographs. They tend to
be heavily political rather than cultural and view themselves as molders of ideology rather
than strictly a service organization of the underground papers. A subscription costs $15.00
per month, but if you're just starting out they are good about slow payments and such.
You should get in the habit of sending special articles, in particular eye-witness accounts of
events that other papers might use, to one or more of the news services for distribution. If
you hear of an important event that you would like to cover in your newspaper, call the
paper in that area for a quick report. They might send you photos if you agree to
reciprocate.
LIBERATION NEWS SERVICE-160 Claremont Ave., New York, N.Y. 10027 (212)
749-2200
COLLEGE PRESS SERVICE-1779 Church St., NW, Washington, D.C. 20036 (202)
387-7575
CHICANO PRESS ASSOCIATION-La Raza, Box 31004, Los Angeles, California 90031
G.I. PRESS SERVICE-Rm 907, 1029 Vermont Ave., NW, Washington, D.C. 20005
FREE RANGER INTERTRIBAL NEWS SERVICE-Box 26, Village Station, N.Y., N.Y.
10014 (212) 691-6973
A complete and up-to-date list of G.I. underground papers can be obtained by writing to
G.I. Press Service, 1029 Vermont Ave., NW, Rm 907, Washington, D.C. 20005. G.I. Alliance
provides excellent national newsletters with all sorts of ways to fuck up the Army. Write G.I.
Alliance, PO Box 9087, Washington, D.C. 20003. The phone is (202) 544-1654. American
Serviceman's Union, 156 5th Avenue, New York, N.Y., 10010 will also help, as well as provide
legal and medical aid to G.I.'s.
A complete and up to date list of Chicano underground papers can be obtained by writing
to Chicano Press Association, La Raza, Box 31004, Los Angeles, California 90031.
The Young Lords Organization paper Palante can be obtained by writing to Young Lords
Party, Ministry of Finance, 1678 Madison Ave., New York, N.Y. 10029. It's $5.75 for 24
issues.
The Black Panther Party paper can be obtained by writing to Black Panther Party, Ministry
of Information, Box 2967, Custom House, San Francisco, Calif. 94126. It's $7.50 for 52
issues.
THE UNDERGROUND PRESS
ALBION'S VOICE, Box 9033, Savannah, Ga. 31401 $4/yr.
AMAZING GRACE, 212 W. College Ave. Tallahassee, Fla. $6/26 issues.
ANGRY CITY PRESS, 14016 Orinoco Ave., E. Cleveland, Ohio 44112
ANN ARBOR ARGUS, 708 Arch St., Ann Arbor, Mich. 48104 $3/yr.
AQUARIAN ORACLE, 8003 Santa Monica Blvd., L.A., Calif. .50/iss.
AQUARIAN TIMES, 331 Forest Acres Shipping Ctr., Easley, S.C. 29640
AQUARIAN WEEKLY, 292 Main St., Hackensack, N.J.
ASTRAL PROJECTION, Box 4383, Albuquerque, N. Mex. 87106
AUGUR, 207 Ransom Bldg., 115 E. 11th Ave., Eugene, Ore. 97401
BARD OBSERVER, Box 76, Bard College, Annandale-on-the Hudson, N.Y. 12504
BERKELEY BARB, Box 1247, Berkeley, Calif. 94715 $6/yr.
BERKELEY TRIBE, Box 9049, Berkeley, Calif. 94709 $8/
BOTH SIDES NOW, 10370 St. Augustine Rd., Jacksonville, Fla. 32217 $2/12 iss.
BROADSIDE/FREE PRESS, Box 65, Cambridge, Mass. 02139 $4.50/yr.
BURNING RIVER NEWS, 12027 Euclid Ave., Cleveland, Ohio 44112 $5/yr.
CHINOOK, 1452 Pennsylvania St., Denver, Col., 80203 $6/50 iss.
THE CLAM COMMUNITY LIBERATOR, Box 13101, St. Petersburg, Fla. 33733
COME OUT, Box 92, Village Station, New York, N.Y. 10014, $6.50/12 iss.
COUNTRY SENSES, Box 465, Woodbury, Conn. 06798 $5/yr.
CREEM, 3729 Cass Ave., Detroit, Mich. 48201 $5/24 iss.
DAILEY PLANET, Suite 2-3514 S. Dixie Hwy., Coconut Grove, Fla. 33133 $5/yr.
DALLAS NOTES, Box 7140, Dallas, Texas 75209 $5/yr.
DIFFERENT DRUMMER, Box 2638, Little Rock, Ark. 72203 $2/14 iss.
DISTANT DRUMMER, 420 South St., Philadelphia, Pa. 19147 $7/yr.
DOOR TO LIBERATION, Box 2022, San Diego, Calif. 92112 $4/26 iss.
DWARFF, Box 26, Village Station, N.Y., N.Y. 10014
EAST VILlAGE OTHER, 20 E. 12 St., N.Y., N.Y. 10003 $6/yr.
EL GRITO DEL NORTE, Box 466, Fairview Station, Espanola, N.M. $4/yr.
EYE OF THE BEAST, Box 9218, Tampa, Fla. 33604
FERAFERIA, Box 691, Altadena, Calif. 91001 $4/13 iss.
FIFTH ESTATE, 1107 W. Warren, Detroit, Mich. 48201 $3.75/yr.
FILMMAKERS NEWSLETTER, 80 Wooster St., N.Y., N.Y. 10012
FREEDOM NEWS, Box 1087, Richmond, Calif. 94801 $2.50/12 iss.
FREE SPAGHETTI DINNER, Box 984, Santa Cruz, Calif. 95060 $4/yr.
FREE YOU, 117 University Ave., Palo Alto, Calif. 94301 $6/yr.
FUSION, 909 Beacon St., Boston, Mass. 02215 $5/yr.
GEST, Box 1079, Northland Center, Southfield, Mich. 48075 $2/yr.
GREAT SPECKLED BIRD, Box 54495, Atlanta, Ga. 30308 $6/yr.
GREENFEEL, Jms Madison Law Inst., 4 Patchin Pl., N.Y., N.Y. 10011
GUARDIAN, 32 W. 22 St., N.Y. N.Y. 10010
HAIGHT-ASHBURY TRIBUNE, 1778 Haight St., San Francisco, Calif. 94117 $10/yr.
HARRY, 233 East 25th St., Baltimore, Md., 21218 $4/yr.
INDIANAPOLIS FREE PRESS, Box 225, Indianapolis, Ind. 46206 $5/26 iss.
INQUISITION, Box 3882, Charlotte, N.C. 28203 $2/6 iss.
KALEIDOSCOPE, Box 5457, Milwaukee, Wisc. 53211 $5/26 iss.
KUDZU, Box 22502, Jackson, Miss. 39205 $4/yr.
LAS VEGAS FREE PRESS, Box 14096, Las Vegas, Nev. 89114 $7/yr.
LEFT FACE, Box 1595, Anniston, Ala. 36201
LIBERATION, 339 Lafayette St., N.Y. 10012
LIBERATION NEWS SERVICE, 160 Claremont Ave., N.Y. 10027 $15/mth.
LIBERATOR, Box 1147, Morgantown, W. Virginia 26505
LONGBEACH FREE PRESS, 1255 E. 10, Long Beach, Ca. 90813 $6/25 iss.
LOS ANGELES FREE PRESS, 7813 Beverly Blvd., Los Angeles, Ca. 90036 $6/yr.
MADISON KALEIDOSCOPE, Box 881, Madison, Wisc. 53701 $5/yr.
MARIJUANA REVIEW, Calif. Instit. of Arts, 7500 Glenoaks Blvd., Burbank, Calif. 91504
MEMPHIS ROOT, Box 4747, Memphis, Tenn. 38104 $3.50/yr.
METRO, 906 W. Forest, Detroit, Mich. 48202 $4/yr.
MODERN UTOPIAN, P.0. Drawer A; Diamond Hts. Sta., S.F., Ca. 94131 $4/yr.
MOTHER EARTH NEWS, Box 38 Madison, Ohio 44057 $5/yr
NEWS FROM NOWHERE, Box 501, Dekalb, Ill. 60115 $5/yr.
NEW PRAIRIE PRIMER, Box 726, Cedar Falls, Iowa 50613 $4/20 iss.
NEW YORK HERALD TRIBUNE, 110 St. Marks Place, N.Y. $5/lifetime
NOLA EXPRESS, Box 2342, New Orleans, La. 70116 $3/yr.
NORTH CAROLINA ANVIL, Box 1148, Durham, N.C. 27702 $7.50/yr.
NORTHWEST PASSAGE, Box 105, Fairhaven Sta., Bellingham, Wash. 98225 $5/yr.
OLD MOLE, 2 Brookline St., Cambridge, Mass. 02139 $5/20 iss.
ORACLE OF SAN FRANCISCO, 1764 Haight St., San Francisco, Ca. 94117
OTHER SCENES, Box B, Village Station, N.Y. 10014 $6/yr.
OTHER VOICE, c/o Why Not Inc., Box 3175, Shreveport, La. 71103 $5/yr.
PAPER WORKSHOP, 6 Helena Ave., Larchmont, N.Y. 10538 $4/yr.
PEOPLES DREADNAUGHT, Box 1071, Beloit, Wisc.
PHILADELPHIA FREE PRESS, Box 1986, Philadelphia, Pa. 19105
PROTEAN RADISH, Box 202, Chapel Hill, N.C. 27514 $8/yr.
PROVINCIAL PRESS, Madala Print Shop, Box 1276, Spokane, Wash. 99210 $5/yr.
QUICKSILVER TIMES, 1736 R St., N.W. Wash., D.C. 20009 $8/yr.
RAG, 2330 Guadalupe, Austin, Tex. 78705 $7.50/yr.
RAT, 241 E. 14 St., N.Y. 10009 $6/yr.
REBIRTH, Box 729, Phoenix, Ariz. 85001
RISING UP ANGRY, Box 3746, Merchandise Mart, Chicago, Ill. 60654 $5/yr.
ROOSEVELT TORCH, 430 S. Michigan Ave., Chicago, Ill. 60605
SAN DIEGO STREET JOURNAL, Box 1332, San Diego, Calif. 92112
SECOND CITY, c/o The Guild, 2136 N. Halsted, Chicago, Ill. 60614 $6/26 iss.
SECOND COMING, Box 491 Ypsilanti, Mich. 48197
SEED, 950 W. Wrightwood, Chicago, Ill. 60614 $6/yr.
SPACE CITY, 1217 Wichita, Houston, Tex. 77004
SPECTATOR, c/o S. Indiana Media Corp., Box 1216, Bloomington, Ind. 47401
SUNDANCE, 1520 Hill, Ann Arbor, mich. 48104 $3.50/yr.
UPROAR, 44 Wimbleton Lane, Great Neck, N.Y. 11023
VIEW FROM THE BOTTOM, 632 State St., New Haven, Conn. 06510 $5/20 iss.
VORTEX, 706 Mass St., Lawrence, Kansas 66044 $5/24 iss.
WALRUS, Box 2307, Sta. A, Champaign, Ill. 61820
WATER TUNNEL, Box 136, State College, Pa. 16801 $3/Yr.
WILLIAMETTE BRIDGE, 6 SW 6th, Portland, Ore. 97209 $5/26 iss.
WIN, 339 Lafayette St., N.Y. 10012 $5/yr.
WORKER'S POWER, 14131 Woodward Ave., Highland Park, Mich. 48203 $3.50/yr.
USA/UPS ASSOCIATE MEMBERS
AKWESASNE NOTES, Roosevelton, N.Y. 13683 .50/iss.
ALESTLE, c/o Paul Gorden, 7404 Tower Lake, Apt. 1D, Edwardsville, Ill. 62025
ALLIANCE MAGAZINE, Box 229, Athens, Ohio 45701
ALL YOU CAN EAT, R.P.O. 4949, New Brunswick, N.J. 08903 $3/yr.
ALLTOGETHER, 44208 Montgomery-33 Palm Desert, Calif. $10/yr.
ALBION'S VOICE, P.0. Box 9033, Savannah, Ga. 31401 $4/yr.
AQUARIAN HERALD, Box 83, Virginia Beach, Va. 23458
ATLANTIS, 204 Oxford, Dayton, Ohio
BOTH SIDES NOW, 10370 St. Augustine Rd., Jacksonville, Fla. 33217 $3.50/12 iss.
COLLECTIVE, 614 Clark St., Evanston, Ill. 60201
COME TOGETHER, P.O. Box 163, Encino, Calif. 91316
CROSSROADS, Hill School, Pottstown, Pa. 19464
DALLAS NEWS (CORP), P.0. Box 7013, Dallas, Texas 75209 $/24 iss.
THE D.C. GAZETTE, 109 8th N.E., Washington, D.C. 20002 $5/yr.
EDGE CITY, 116 Standart St., Syracuse, N.Y. 13201 $3/yr.
EVERYWOMAN, 6516 W. 83 St., Los Angeles, Calif. 90045 $2.50/iss.
FAIR WITNESS, P.0. Box 7165, 0akland Sta., Pittsburgh, Pa. 15213
FOX VALLEY KALEIDOSCOPE, Box 252, Oshkosh, Wisc. 54901
FREE PRESS OF LOUISVILLE, 1438 S. First St., Louisville, Ky. 40208 $6/yr.
HIGH GAUGE, Box 4491, University, Ala. 35486 $5/Yr.
THE HIPS VOICE, P.O. Box 5132, Santa Fe, N. Mexico 87501 $5/24 iss.
HOME NEWS CO., P.O. Box 5263, Grand Central Station, N.Y. 10017
HUNDRED FLOWERS, Box 7152, Minneapolis, Minn. 55407 $9/yr.
IT AIN'T ME BABE, c/o W.L. Office Box 6323, Albany, Calif. 94706 $6/yr.
LIBERATED GUARDIAN, 14 Cooper Sq., New York, N.Y. 10003 $10/yr.
THE LONG ISLAND FREE PRESS, P.O. Box 162, Westbury, N.Y. 11590 $6/2 yr.
NEW TIMES, Box J, Temple, Ariz. 85281 $10/52 iss.
NOTES FROM UNDERGROUND, P.O. Box 15081, San Francisco, Calif. 94115
OUR TOWN (COLLECTIVE), Box 611, Eau Claire, Wisc.
PALANTE YLP, 1678 Madison Ave., New York, N.Y.
PROTOS, 1110 N. Edgemont St., Los Angeles, Calif. 90029 $3/yr.
PURPLE BERRIES, 449 West Seventh Ave., Columbus Ohio
REARGUARD, P.O. Box 8115, Mobile, Ala. 36608 $4/yr.
THE S.S. PENTANGLE, Box 4429, New Orleans, La. 70118 $4/20 iss.
ST. LOUIS OUTLAW, Box 9501, Cabanne Sta., St. Louis, Mo. 63161
SUSQUEHANNA BUGLER, 700 Market St., Williamsport, Pa. 17701 .25/iss.
TASTY COMIX, Box 21101, Wash., D.C. 20009
THE TIMES NOW, Box 676, Coconut Grove, Fla. 33133
TUSCON FREE PRESS, Box 3403, College Sta., Tuscon, Ariz. 85716
CANADA/UPS
ALTERNATE SOCIETY, 10 Thomas St., St. Catharines, Ont. $3.50/12 iss.
CARILLON, Univ. of Sask. Regina Campus, Regina, Saskatchewan
CHEVRON, University of Waterloo, Waterloo, Ontario $8/yr.
DIME BAG, 3592 University St., Montreal 130, Que.
FOURTH ESTATE, 24 Brighton Ct., Fredericton, N.B.
GEORGIA STRAIGHT, 56A Powell St., Vancouver, 4, B.C. $9/52 iss.
HARBINGER, Box 751, Stn F, Toronto 285, Ontario $4/26 iss.
OCTOPUS, Box 1259, Station B, Ottawa, 4 $4.50/26 iss.
OMPHALOS, 279˝ Fort St. No. 4, Winnipeg 1, Manitoba $5/26 iss.
PRAIRIE FIRE; FOURTH ESTATE, Regina Community Media Project, 210 Northern
Crown Bldg. Regina, Sask.
SWEENEY, 119 Thomas St., Oakville, Ontario $2.50/12 iss.
EUROPE/UPS
Europe/UPS, Box 304, 8025, Zurich, Switzerland
FIFTH COLUMN, 100 New Cavendish Street, London W1, England
FRIENDS, 305 Portobello Rd., London W10, England
HAPT, Flat L, 42 Moore Ave., W. Howe, Bournemouth, Hampshire, England
HOLLAND HAPT, Keigersstraat 2a, Amsterdam, Holland
HOTCHAI, Postfach 304-CH 8025, Zurich 25, Switz. $5/yr.
INTERNATIONAL TIMES, 27 Endell St., London, WC2, Eng. $5/yr.
KARGADOOR, Oude Gracht 36 bis. Utrecht, Holland
OEUF, 14 Ch de la Mogeonne, 1293 Bellevue, Geneva Switzerland
OM, Kaizerstraat 2A, 11et, Amsterdam, Holland, Neth.
OPS VEDA, 16 Woodholm Rd., Sheffield 11, England
OZ, 52 Princedale Rd., London W11, England $6/yr.
PEACE NEWS, 5 Celedonian Rd., Kings Cross, London W1, Eng. $8.50/yr.
PIANETA FRESCA, 14 Vie Manzoni, Milano, Italy 20121 $1/iss.
QUINTO LICEO, c/o Tommsaco Bruccoleri, 3, Meadow Place, London, England
REAL FREE PRESS, Runstraat 31, Amsterdam, Netherlands $1/2 iss.
RED MOLE, 182 Pentonville Rd., London N1 Eng. $5.50/yr.
ROTTEN, Huset, Readhusstraede 13, 1466 Copenhagen K. Denmark
EUROPEAN ASSOCIATE MEMBERS
CYCLOPS, 32. St. Petersburg Place, London, W2, Eng. (Comix)
GRASS EYE, 71 Osbourne Rd., Levenshulme, Manchester 19, Eng.
MOLE EXPRESS, 19 New Brown St., Manchester 4, Eng.
PANGGG, Upn-Sippenpresse, d-8500, Nurnberg Kopernikusstr. 4, Germany
PARIA, c/o Poretti Viavalle Maggia 41, 6600 Locarno, Switz.
ZIGZAG, Yeoman Cottage, N. Marston, Bucks, England
LATIN AMERICA/UPS
ECO CONTEMPORANEO, C. Correo Central 1933, Buenos Aires, Argentina
...Membership list temporarily unavailable.
SWITCHBOARDS
A good way to quickly communicate what's coming down in the community is to build a
telephone tree. It works on a pyramid system. A small core of people are responsible for
placing five calls each. Each person on the line in turn calls five people and so on. If the
system is prearranged correctly with adjustments made if some people don't answer the
phone, you can have info transmitted to about a thousand people in less than an hour. A
slower but more permanent method is to start a Switchboard. Basically, a Switchboard is a
central telephone number or numbers that anybody can call night or day to get
information. It can be as sophisticated as the community can support. The people that
agree to answer the phone should have a complete knowledge of places, services and
events happening in the community. Keep a complete updated file. The San Francisco
Switchboard (see below) puts out an operator's manual explaining the organization and
operation of a successful switchboard. They will send it out for 12˘ postage. San Francisco
has the longest and most extensive Switchboard operation. From time to time there are
national conferences with local switchboards sending a rep.
San Francisco
THE SWITCHBOARD - 1830 Fell St., San Francisco, Calif. 94117 (415) 387-3575
MUSIC SWITCHBOARD - 1826 Fell St., San Francisco, Calif. 94117 (415) 387-8008
MISSION SWITCHBOARD - 848 14th St., San Francisco, Calif. 94110 (415) 863-3040
CHINATOWN EXCHANGE - 1042 Grant Ave., San Francisco, Calif. 94108 (415)
421-0943
THE HELP UNIT - 86 3rd St., San Francisco, Calif. 94103 (415) 421-9850
WESTERN ADDITION SWITCHBOARD - Fell & Fillmore, San Francisco, Calif. (415)
626-8524
California
CHICO SWITCHBOARD - 120 W. 2nd St., Chico, Calif. (916) 342-7546
EAST OAKLAND SWITCHBOARD - 2812 73rd Ave., Oakland, Calif. (415)569-6369
MARIN MUSIC SWITCHBOARD - 1017 "D" St., San Rafael, Calif. (415) 457-2104
WEST OAKLAND LEGAL SWITCHBOARD - 2713 San Pablo, Oakland, Calif. (415)
836-3013
SWITCHBOARD OF MARIN - 1017 "D" St., San Rafael, Calif. (415) 456-5300
BERKELEY SWITCHBOARD - 2389 Oregon, Berkeley, Calif. (415) 549-0649
SANTA CRUZ SWITCHBOARD - 604 River St., Santa Cruz, Calif. (408) 426-8500
PALO ALTO XCHANGE - 457 Kingsley Ave., Palo Alto, Calif. (415) 327-9008
SAN JOSE SWITCHBOARD - 50 S. 4th St., San Jose, Calif. (408) 295-2938
SANTA BARBARA SWITCHBOARD - 6575 Seville, Isla Vista, Calif. (805) 968-3564
EUREKA SWITCHBOARD - 1427 California, Eureka, Calif. (707) 443-8901 & 443-8311
UC DAVIS SWITCHBOARD - (on campus), UC Davis, Calif. (916) 752-3495
Other Western States
TURNSTILE - 1900 Emerson, Denver, Colorado (303) 623-3445
BLACKHAWK INFORMATION CENTER - 628 Walnut St., Waterloo, Iowa (319)
234-9965
TAOS SWITCHBOARD - c/o Gen. Del., Taos, New Mexico (505) 758-4288
PORTLAND SWITCHBOARD - 1216 SW Salmon, Portland, Oregon (503) 224-0313
HOUSTON SWITCHBOARD - 108 San Jacinto, Houston, Texas (713) 228-6072
YOUTH EMERGENCY SERVICE - 623 Cedar Ave. So., Minneapolis, Minn. (612)
338-7588
Eastern States
POWELTON TROUBLE CENTER - 222 N. 35th St., Phila., Penna.. (215) 382-6472
WASHINGTON D.C. SWITCHBOARD - 2201 P St. NW, Washington, D.C. (202)
667-4684
MIAMI CENTER FOR DIALOG - 2175 NW 26th St., Miami, Fla. (305) 634-7741
CANTERBURY HOUSE - 330 Maynard S, Ann Arbor, Michigan (313) 665-0606
THE LISTENING EAR - 547 E. Grand River, East Lansing, Michigan (517) 337-1717
THE ECSTATIC UMBRELLA - 3800 McGee Kansas City, Missouri (816) 561-4524
OPEN CITY - 4726 3rd St., Detroit, Michigan (313) 831-2770
SWITCHBOARD INC. - 1722 Summit St., Number 6, Columbus, Ohio (614) 294-6378
HELP - c/o Marby Beil, 1708 E. Lafayette, Number 5, Milwaukee, Wisconsin (414)
273-5959
UNITED CHURCH PRESBYTERIAN - 181 Mount Horeb Rd., Warren, N.J. (201)
469-5044
BOSTON SWITCHBOARD - 45 Bowdoin St., Boston, Mass. (617) 246-4255
PROJECT PLACE - 37 Rutland St., Boston, Mass.(617)267-5280
BEVERLY SWITCHBOARD - Beverly Hospital, Beverly, Mass. (617) 922-0000
FIRST CONGREGATIONAL CHURCH OF ACTON - 8 Concord Rd., Acton, Mass. (617)
263-3940
HALF WAY HOUSE - 20 Linwood Sq., Roxbury, Mass. (617) 442-7591
ACID - 13 Linden Ave., Malden, Mass. (617) 342-2218
PROJECT ASSIST - 945 Great Plain Ave., Needham, Mass. (617) 444-1902& 3
LEXINGTON - ARLINGTON HOT LINE - 1912 Mass. Ave., Lexington, Mass. (617)
862-8130&1
COMMUNITY YOUTH COMMISSION - 945 Great Plain Ave., Needham, Mass. (617)
444-1795
HOT LINE - 429 Cherry St., West Newton, Mass. (617) 969-5906
Other Countries
BINARY INFORMATION TRANSFER - 141 Westbourne Park Rd., London W2, England.
Ask overseas operator for London 222-8219
CANADIAN SWITCHBOARD - 282 Rue Ste. Catherine, West, Montreal, Quebec,
Canada (514) 866-2672
For a complete and up-to-date list of switchboards and similar projects around the
country, write to San Francisco Switchboard. They need 25 cents to cover postage costs.
Guerrilla Broadcasting
GUERRILLA RADIO
Under FCC Low Power Transmission Regulations, it is legal to broadcast on the AM band
without even obtaining a license, if you transmit with 100 milliwatts of power or less on a
free band space that doesn't interfere with a licensed station. You are further allowed up to
a 12-foot antenna or the use of carrier-current transmission (regular electric wall outlets).
Using this legal set-up, you can broadcast from a 2 to 20 block radius depending on how
high up you can locate your antenna and the density of tall buildings in the area.
Carrier-current broadcasting consists of plugging the transmitter into a regular wall socket.
It draws power in the same way as any other electrical appliance, and feeds its signal into
the power line allowing the broadcast to be heard on any AM radio tuned into the operating
frequency. The transmitter can be adjusted to different frequencies until a clear band is
located. The signal will travel over the electrical wiring until it hits a transformer where it
will be erased. The trouble with this method is that in large cities, almost every large office
or apartment building has a transformer. You should experiment with this method first, but
if you are in a city, chances are you'll need an antenna rigged up on the roof. Anything over
twelve feet is illegal, but practice has shown that the FCC won't hassle you if you don't have
commercials and refrain from interfering with licensed broadcasts. There are some cats in
Connecticut broadcasting illegally with a 100-foot antenna over a thirty mile radius for
hours on end and nobody gives them any trouble. Naturally if you insist upon using dirty
language, issuing calls to revolution, broadcasting bombing information, interfering with
above ground stations and becoming too well known, the FCC is going to try and knock you
out. There are penalties that have never been handed out of up to a year in jail. It's possible
you could get hit with a conspiracy rap, which could make it a felony, but the opinion of
movement lawyers now is a warning if you're caught once, and a possible fine with stiffer
penalties possible for repeaters that are caught.
If it gets really heavy, you could still broadcast for up to 15 minutes without being
pin-pointed by the FCC sleuths. By locating your equipment in a panel truck and
broadcasting from a fixed roof antenna, you can make it almost impossible for them to
catch you by changing positions.
There has been a variety of transmitting equipment used, and the most effective has been
found to be an AM transmitter manufactured by Low Power Broadcasting Co., 520 Lincoln
Highway, Frazer, Penn. 19355. Call Dick Crompton at (215 NI 4-4096. The right
transmitter will run about $200. If you plan to use carrier-current transmission you'll also
need a capacitor that sells for $30. An antenna can be made out of aluminum tubing and
antenna wiring available at any TV radio supply store (see diagram). You'll also need a good
microphone that you can get for about $10. Naturally, equipment for heavier broadcasting
is available if a member of your group has a license or good connections with someone who
works in a large electronics supply house. Also with a good knowledge in the area you can
build a transmitter for a fraction of the purchase price. You can always employ tape
recorders, turntables and other broadcasting hardware depending on how much bread you
have, how much stuff you have to hide (i.e., how legal your operation is) and the type of
broadcasting you want to do.
It is possible to extend your range by sending a signal over the telephone lines to other
transmitters which will immediately rebroadcast. Several areas in a city could be linked
together and even from one city to another. Theoretically, if enough people rig up
transmitters and antennas at proper locations and everyone operates on the same band, it
is possible to build a nation-wide people's network that is equally theoretically legal.
Broadcasting, it should be remembered, is a one-way transmission of information.
Communications which allow you to transmit and receive are illegal without a license (ham
radio).
GUERRILLA TELEVISION
There are a number of outlaw radio projects going on around the country. Less frequent,
but just as feasible, is a people's television network. Presently there are three basic types
of TV systems: Broadcast, which is the sending of signals directly from a station's
transmitter to home receiver sets; Cable, where the cable company employees extremely
sensitive antenna to pick up broadcast transmissions and relay them and/or they originate
and send them; and thirdly, Closed Circuit TV, such as the surveillance cameras in
supermarkets, banks and apartment house lobbies.
The third system as used by the pigs is of little concern, unless we are interested in not
being photographed. The cameras can be temporarily knocked out of commission by
flashing a bright light (flashbulb, cigarette lighter, etc.) directly in front of its lens. For our
own purposes, closed-circuit TV can be employed for broadcasting rallies, rock concerts or
teach-ins to other locations. The equipment is not that expensive to rent and easy to
operate. Just contact the largest television or electronics store in your area and ask about
it. There are also closed-circuit and cable systems that work in harmony to broadcast
special shows to campuses and other institutions. Many new systems are being developed
and will be in operation soon.
Cable systems as such are in use only in a relatively few areas. They can be tapped either
at the source or at any point along the cable by an engineer freak who knows what to do.
The source is the best spot, since all the amplification and distribution equipment of the
system is available at that point. Tapping along the cable itself can be a lot hairier, but
more frustrating for the company when they try to trace you down.
Standard broadcasting that is received on almost all living room sets works on an RF (radio
frequency) signal sent out on various frequencies which correspond to the channels on the
tuner. In no area of the country are all these channels used. This raises important political
questions as to why people do not have the right to broadcast on unused channels. By
getting hold of a TV camera (Sony and Panasonic are the best for the price) that has an RF
output, you can send pictures to a TV set simply by placing the camera cable on or near
the antenna of the receiver set. When the set is operating on the same channel as the
camera, it will show what the camera sees. Used video tape recorders such as the Sony CV
series that record and play back audio and video information are becoming more available.
These too can be easily adapted to send RF signals the same as a live camera.
Whether or not the program to be broadcasted is live or on tape, there are three steps to
be taken in order to establish a people's TV network. First, you must convert the video and
audio signals to an RF frequency modulated (FM) signal corresponding to the desired
broadcast channel. We suggest for political and technical reasons that you pick one of the
unused channels in your area to begin experimenting. The commercial stations have an
extremely powerful signal and can usually override your small output. Given time and
experience you might want to go into direct competition with the big boys on their own
channel. It is entirely possible, say in a 10 to 20 block radius, to interrupt a presidential
press-conference with more important news. Electronic companies, such as Jerrold
Electronics Corp., 4th and Walnut Sts., Philadelphia, Pa., make equipment that can RF
both video and audio information onto specific channels. The device you'd be interested in
is called a cable driver or RF modulator.
When the signal is in the RF state, it is already possible to broadcast very short distances.
The second step is to amplify the signal so it will reach as far as possible. A linear amplifier
of the proper frequency is required for this job. The stronger the amplifier the farther and
more powerful the signal. A 10-watt job will cover approximately 5 miles (line of sight) in
area. Linear amplifiers are not that easily available, but they can be constructed with some
electrical engineering knowledge.
The third step is the antenna, which if the whole system is to be mobile to avoid detection,
is going to involve some experimentation and possible camouflage. Two things to keep in
mind about an antenna are that it should be what is technically referred to as a "di-pole"
antenna (see diagram) and since TV signals travel on line of sight, it is important to place
the antenna as high as possible. Although it hasn't been done in practice, it certainly is
possible to reflect pirate signals off an make equipment that can RF both video and audio
existing antenna of a commercial network. This requires a full knowledge of broadcasting;
however, any amateur can rig up an antenna, attach it to a helium balloon and get it plenty
high. For most, the roof of a tall building will suffice. If you're really uptight about your
operation, the antenna can be hidden with a fake cardboard chimney.We realize becoming
TV guerrillas is not everyone's trip, but a small band with a few grand can indeed pull it off.
There are a lot of technical freaks hanging around recording studios, guitar shops, hi-fi
stores and engineering schools that can be turned on to the project. By showing them the
guidelines laid out here, they can help you assemble and build various components that are
difficult to purchase (i.e., the linear amplifier). Naturally, by building some of the
components, the cost of the operation is kept way down. Equipment can be purchased in
selective electronics stores. You'll need a camera, VTR, RF modulator, linear amplifier and
antenna. Also a generator, voltage regulator and an alternator if you want the station to be
mobile. One of the best sources of information on both television and radio broadcasting is
the Radio Amateur's Handbook published by the American Radio Relay League, Newington,
Conn. 06611 and available for $4.50. The handbook gives a complete course in electronics
and the latest information on all techniques and equipment related to broadcasting. Back
issues have easy to read do-it-yourself TV transmitter diagrams and instructions. Also
available is a publication called Radical Software, put out by Raindance Corp., 24 E. 22nd
St., New York, N.Y., with the latest info on all types of alternative communications.
Guerrilla TV is the vanguard of the communications revolution, rather than the avant-garde
cellophane light shows and the weekend conferences. One pirate picture on the sets in
Amerika's living rooms is worth a thousand wasted words.
With the fundamentals in this field mastered, you can rig up all sorts of shit. Cheap
twenty-dollar tape recorders can be purchased and outfitted with a series of small
loud-speakers. Concealed in a school auditorium or other large hall, such a system can
blast out any message or music you wish to play. The administration will go insane trying to
locate the operation if it is well hidden. We know two cats who rigged a church with this
type of setup and a timing device. Right in the middle of the sermon, on came Radio
Heaven and said stuff like "Come on preacher, this is God, you don't believe all that crap
now, do you?" It made for an exciting Sunday service, all right. You can build a miniature
transmitter and with a small magnet attach it to the underbelly of a police car to keep
track of where it's going. This would only be practical in a small town or on a campus where
there are only a few security guards or patrol vehicles. If you rigged a small tape recorder
to the transmitter and tuned it to a popular AM band, the patrol car as it rode around
could actually broadcast the guerrilla message you prerecorded. Wouldn't they be
surprised when they found out how you did it? You can get a "Bumper Beeper" and receiver
that are constructed by professionals for use by private detectives. The dual unit costs
close to $400. If you've got that kind of bread, you can write John Bomar, 6838 No. 3rd
Ave., Phoenix, Arizona 85013 for a catalogue and literature.
Even though there are laws governing the area of sneaky surveillance, telephone taps,
tracking devices and the like, a number of enterprising firms produce an unbelievable array
of electronic hardware that allows you to match Big Brother's ears and eyes. Sugar cube
transmitters, tie clasp microphones, phone taps, tape recorders that work in a
hollowed-out book and other Brave New World equipment is available from the following
places. Send for their catalogues just to marvel at the level of technology. R. B. Clifton,
1150 NW 7th Ave., Miami, Fla. 33168; Electrolab Corp., Bank of Stateboro Building,
Stateboro, Ga. 30458; or Tracer Investigative Products, Inc., 256 Worth. Ave., Palm, Beach,
Fla. 33482.
By the way, you can pick up Radio Hanoi on a short wave radio every day from 3:00 to 3:30
PM at 15013 kilocycles on the 19 meter band.
Demonstrations
Demonstrations always will be an important form of protest. The structure can vary from a
rally or teach-in to a massive civil disobedience such as the confronting of the warmakers at
the Pentagon or a smoke-in. A demonstration is different from other forms of warfare
because it invites people other than those planning the action via publicity to participate. It
also is basically non-violent in nature. A complete understanding of the use of media is
necessary to create the publicity needed to get the word out. Numbers of people are only
one of the many factors in an effective demonstration. The timing, choice of target and
tactics to be employed are equally important. There have been demonstrations of 400,000
that are hardly remembered and demonstrations of a few dozen that were remarkably
effective. Often the critical element involved is the theater. Those who say a demonstration
should be concerned with education rather than theater don't understand either and will
never organize a successful demonstration, or for that matter, a successful revolution.
Publicity includes everything from buttons and leaflets to press conferences. You should be
in touch with the best artists you can locate to design the visual props. Posters can be silk
screened very cheaply and people can be taught to do it in a very short time. Buttons have
to be purchased. The cheapest are those printed directly on the metal. The paint rubs off
after a while, but they are ideal for mass demonstrations. You can print 10,000 for about
$250.00. Leaflets, like posters, should be well designed.
One way of getting publicity is to negotiate with the city for permits. Again, this raises
political questions, but there is not doubt one reason for engaging in permit discussions is
for added publicity.
The date, time and place of the demonstration all have to be chosen with skill. Know the
projected weather reports. Pick a time and day of the week that are convenient to most
people. Make sure the place itself adds some meaning to the message. Don't have a
demonstration just because that's the way it's always been done. It is only one type of
weapon and should be used as such. On the other hand, don't dismiss demonstrations
because they have always turned out boring. You and your group can plan a demonstration
within the demonstration more accurately. Also don't tend to dismiss demonstrations
outright because the repression is too great. During World War II the Danes held street
demonstrations against the Nazis who occupied their country. Even today there are public
demonstrations against the Vietnam War in downtown Saigon. Repression is there, but
overestimating it is more a tactical blunder than the reverse. None the less, it's wise to go
to all demonstrations prepared for a vamping by the pigs.
DRESS
Most vamping is accompanied by clubbing, rough shoving and dragging, gassing and
occasional buckshot or rifle fire. The clothing you wear should offer you the best protection
possible, yet be light weight enough to allow you to be highly mobile. CS and CN are by far
the most commonly employed tear gas dispersibles. Occasionally they are combined with
pepper gas to give better results. Pepper gas is a nerve irritant that affects exposed areas
of the skin. Clothing that is tight fitting and covers as much of the body surface as possible
is advisable. This also offers some protection if you are dragged along the ground. Gloves
come in handy as protection and if you want to pick up gas canisters and throw them back
at the pigs or chuck them through a store window.
Your shoes should be high sneakers for running or boots for kicking. Hiking boots sold in
army surplus stores serve both purposes and are your best selection for street action. Men
should wear a jock strap or protective cup. Rib guards can be purchased for about $6.00
at any sporting goods store. Shoulder pads and leg pads are also available, but unless you
expect heavy fighting and are used to wearing this clumsy street armor, you'll be better off
without it.
HELMETS
Everyone should have a helmet. Your head sticks out above the swarming crowd and dents
like a tin can. Protect it! The type of helmet you get depends on what you can afford and
how often you'll be using it. The cheapest helmet available is a heavy steel tank model. This
one is good because it offers ear protection and has a built-in suspension system to absorb
the blow. It is also bullet proof. It's disadvantages are that it only comes in large sizes and
is the heaviest thing you'll ever have on your head. It costs about $3.00. For $5.00 you can
get a Civil Defense helmet made for officers. It's much lighter, but doesn't offer protection
for the ears. It has a good suspension system. If you get this model, paint it a dark color
before using it and you'll be less conspicuous. Our fashion consultants suggest anarchy
black.
Construction helmets or "hard hats" run between $8.00 and $10.00, depending on the type
of suspension system and material used. They are good for women because they are
extremely lightweight. The aluminum ones dent if struck repeatedly and the fiberglass type
can crack. Also they offer no ear protection. If you prefer one of these you should find a way
to attach a chin or neck strap so you won't lose it while you run. If you get a hard hat, make
sure you remove the hard head before you take it home.
Probably the all-around good deal for the money is the standard M-1 Army issue helmet.
These vary in quality and price, depending on age and condition. They run from $2.00 to
$10.00. Make sure the one you get has a liner with webbing that fits well or is adjustable
and has a chin strap. Their main disadvantage is that they are bulky and heavy.
The snappiest demonstrators use the familiar motorcycle crash helmet. They are the
highest in price, running from $10.00 to as high as $40.00. Being made of fiberglass, they
are extremely lightweight. They have a heavy-duty strap built in and they can be gotten to
fit quite snugly around the head. They offer excellent ear protection. The foam rubber
insulation is better than a webbing system, and will certainly cushion most blows. Being
made of fiberglass, a few have been known to crack under repeated blows, but that is
extremely rare. Most come with plastic face guards that offer a little added protection.
Get only those with removable ones since you might want to make use of a gas mask.
GAS MASKS
Ski goggles or the face visor on a crash helmet will protect against Mace but will offer no
protection against the chemical warfare gasses being increasingly used by pigs to dispose
crowds. For this protection you'll need a gasmask. All the masks discussed give ideal
protection against the gasses mentioned in the chart if used properly. If you do not have a
gas mask, you should at least get a supply of surgical masks from a hospital supply store
and a plastic bag filled with water and a cloth.
The familiar World War II Army gas mask with the filter in a long nose unit sells new (which
is the only way gas masks can be sold) for about $5.00. Its disadvantages are that it
doesn't cover the whole face, is easy to grab and pull off and the awkwardly placed filter
makes running difficult. The Officer Civil Defense unit sells for the same price and
overcomes the disadvantages of the World War II Army model. Most National Guard units
use this type of mask. It offers full face protection, is lightweight and the filter canister is
conveniently located. Also the adjustable straps make for a nice tight fit. The U.S.A.
Protective Field Combat Mask M9A1 offers the same type protection as the OCD, but
costs twice as much. Its advantage is that you can get new filter canisters when the
chemicals in the one you are using becomes ineffective. New filters cost about $1.50. When
you buy a mask, be sure and inquire if the filter has replacements. To get maximum
efficiency out of a mask it needs an active chemical filter.
The U.S. Navy ND Mark IV Mask is the most effective gas mask available. It has replaceable
filter canisters and fits snugly to the head. It costs about $12.00. Its disadvantage is its
dual tube filter system, which is somewhat bulky. Fix it so the canister rests on the back of
your needs. It's more difficult to grab and easier to run.
When you get your gas mask home, try it out to get the feeling of using it. Make sure the fit
is good and snug. Purchase an anti-fog cloth for 25 cents where you got the mask. Wipe the
inside of the eye pieces before wearing to prevent the glasses from clouding. Another good
reason for wearing a mask is that it offers anonymity. Helmets, gas masks and a host of
other valuable equipment are available at any large Army-Navy surplus store. Kaufman's
Surplus and Arms, Inc., 623 Broadway, New York, N.Y. 10012 is very well stocked. For 75
cents you can get their catalogue and order through the mail. It's in New York though and
probably more expensive than a store in your locale. The surplus stores buy from wholesale
distributors themselves, who in turn buy directly from the military. If you know a soldier or
someone who is married to a soldier, they have access to the Post Dispensary or PX and
can get all sorts of stuff at nothing prices. For 20 cents you can get an invaluable pamphlet
from the Government Printing Office called How to Buy Surplus Personal Property. It has a
complete list of regional surplus wholesalers. The closest one in the Northeast is the Naval
Supply Center, Building 652, U.S. Naval Base, Philadelphia, Pa. and in Northern California,
the Naval Supply Center, Building 502, Oakland, California. You can order by mail or in
person and the prices are very low, even though it isn't as good as the stuff our brothers
and sisters in the Viet Cong rip-off.
WALKIE-TALKIES
You should always go to a demonstration in a small group that stays in contact with each
other until the demonstration is over. One way to keep in touch is to use walkie-talkies. No
matter how heavy the vamping gets or how spread out are the crowds, you'll be able to
communicate with these lightweight effective portable devices. The only disadvantage is
cost. A half decent unit costs at least $18.00. It should have a minimum of 9 transistors
and 100 milliwatts, although walkie-talkies can go as high as 5 watts and broadcast over 2
miles. Anything under 1 watt will not broadcast over ˝ mile and considerably less in an
area with tall buildings. The best unit you can buy runs about $300.00. If you ever deck a
pig, steal his walkie-talkie even before you take his gun. A good rule is to avoid the bargain
gyp-joints and go to a place that deals in electronic equipment.
The important thing to realize about all walkie-talkie networks is that if anyone can talk,
anyone else can listen and vice versa. This applies to pigs as well as us. All walkie-talkies
work on the Civilian Band which has 23 channels. The cheaper units are preset to channel 9
or 11. The pigs broadcast on higher channels, usually channel 22. More expensive sets can
operate on alternative channels. By removing the front of the set, you can adjust the
transmitter and receiver to pick up and receive police communications. Don't screw around
with the inside though, unless you know what you are doing. Allied Radio, 100 N. Western
Ave., Chicago, Illinois 60680, will send you a good free catalogue, as will most large
electronic stores. Consider buying a number of sets and ask about group discounts.
Practice a number of times before you actually use walkie-talkies in real action. Develop
code names and words just like the pigs do. Once you get acquainted with this method of
communications in the streets, you'll never get cut off from the action. Watch out in close
combat though. The pigs always try to smash any electronic gear.
OTHER EQUIPMENT
A sign can be used to ward off blows. Staple it to a good strong pole that you can use as a
weapon if need be. Chains make good belts, as do garrisons with the buckles sharpened. A
tightly rolled-up magazine or newspaper also can be used as a defensive weapon.
Someone in your group should carry a first aid kit. A Medical Emergency Aeronautic Kit,
which costs about $5.00 has a perfect carrying bag for street action.
Ideally you should visit the proposed site of the demonstration before it actually takes
place. This way you'll have an idea of the terrain and the type of containment the police will
be using. Someone in your group should mimeograph a map of the immediate vicinity which
each person should carry. Alternative actions and a rendezvous point should be worked out.
Everyone should have two numbers written on their arm, a coordination center number and
the number of a local lawyer or legal defense committee. You should not take your personal
phone books to demonstrations. If you get busted, pigs can get mighty Nosy when it comes
to phone books. Any sharp objects can be construed as weapons. Women should not wear
earrings or other jewelry and should tie their hair up to tuck it under a helmet. Wear a belt
that you can use as a tourniquet. False teeth and contact lenses should be left at home if
possible. You can choke on false teeth if you receive a sharp blow while running. Contact
lenses can complicate eye damage if gas or Mace is used.
If it really looks heavy, you might want to pick up on a lightweight adjustable bullet-proof
vest, available for $14.95 from Surplus Distributors, Inc., 6279 Van Nuys Blvd., Van Nuys,
California 91401. Remember what the Boy Scouts say when they go camping: "Be
Prepared". When you go to demonstrations you should be prepared for a lot more than
speeches. The pigs will be.
Trashing
Ever since the Chicago pigs brutalized the demonstrators in August of 1968, young people
have been read to vent their rage over Amerika's inhumanity by using more daring tactics
than basic demonstrations. There is a growing willingness to do battle with the pigs in the
streets and at the same time to inflict property damage. It's not exactly rioting and it's not
exactly guerrilla warfare; it has come to be called "Trashing." Most trashing is of a primitive
nature with the pigs having the weapon and strategy advantage. Most trashers rely on
quick young legs and a nearby rock. By developing simple gang strategy and becoming
acquainted with some rudimentary weapons and combat techniques, the odds can be
shifted considerably.
Remember, pigs have small brains and move slowly. All formations, signals, codes and other
procedures they use have to be uniform and simplistic. The Army Plan for Containment and
Control of Civil Disorders, published by the Government Printing Office, contains the basic
thinking for all city, county and state storm troopers. A trip to the library and a look at any
basic text in criminology will help considerably in gaining an understanding of how pigs act
in the street. If you study up, you'll find you can, with the aid of a bullhorn or properly
adjusted walkie-talkie, fuck up many intricate pig formations. "Left flank-right turn!" said
authoritatively into a bullhorn pointed in the right direction will yield all sorts of wild results.
You should trash with a group using a buddy system to keep track of each other. If
someone is caught by a pig, other should immediately rush to the rescue if it's possible to
do so without sustaining too many losses. If an arrest is made, someone from your gang
should take responsibility for seeing to it that a lawyer and bail bread are taken care of.
Never abandon a member of your gang.
Avoid fighting in close quarters. You run less risk by throwing an object than by personally
delivering the blow with a weapon you hold in your hand. We suppose this is what pigs refer
to as "duty fighting." All revolutionaries fight dirt in the eyes of the oppressors. The British
accused the Minutemen of Lexington and Concord of fighting dirty by hiding behind trees.
The U.S. Army accuses the Viet Cong of fighting dirty when they rub a pointed bamboo
shoot in infected shit and use it as a land mine. Mayor Daley says the Yippies squirted hair
spray and used golf balls with spikes in them against his innocent blue boys. No one ever
accused the U.S. of being sneaky for using an airforce in Southeast Asia or the Illinois State
Attorney's office of fighting dirty when it murdered Fred Hampton and Mark Clark while
they lay in bed. We say: all power to the dirty fighters!
WEAPONS FOR STREET FIGHTING
Spray Cans
These are a very effective and educating method of property destruction. If a liberated
zone has been established or you find yourself on a quiet street away from the thick of
things, pretty up the neighborhood. Slogans and symbols can be sprayed on rough surfaces
such as brick or concrete walls that are a real bitch to remove unless expensive
sandblasting is used.
The Slingshot
This is probably the ideal street weapon for the swarms of little Davids that are out to
down the Goliaths of Pigdom. It is cheap, legal to carry, silent, fast-loading and any right
size rock will do for a missile. You can find them at hobby shops and large sporting goods
stores, especially those that deal in hunting supplies. Wrist-Rocket makes a powerful and
accurate slingshot for $2.50. The Whamo Sportsman is not as good but half the price. By
selecting the right "Y" shaped branch, you can fashion a home-made one by using a strip of
rubber cut from the inner tube of a tue as the sling. A few hours of shooting stones at cans
in the back yard or up on the roof will make you marksman enough for those fat bank
windows and even fatter pigs.
Slings
A sling is a home-made weapon consisting of two lengths of heavy-duty cord each attached
securely at one end to a leather patch that serves as a pocket to cradle the rock. Place the
rock in the pouch and grab the two pieces of cord firmly in your hand. Whirl the rock round
and round until gravity holds it firmly in the pouch. When you feel you have things under
control, let one end of the cord go and the rock will fly out at an incredible speed. You
should avoid using the sling in a thick crowd (rooftop shooting is best). Practice is definitely
needed to gain any degree of accuracy.
Boomerangs
The boomerang is a neat weapon for street fighting and is as easy to master as the
Frisbee. There is a great psychological effect in using exotic weapons such as this. You can
buy one at large hobby stores. On the East Coast you can get one from Sportscraft,
Bergenfield, New Jersey, for $2.69, and on the West Coast from Whamo, 835 El Monte St.,
San Gabriel, Calif., for $1.10.
Flash Guns
Electric battery-operated flash guns are available that will blind a power-crazy pig, thus
distracting him long enough to rescue a captured comrade. Check out camping and
boating supply stores.
Tear Gas and Mace
Personalized tear gas and mace dispensers are available for self-defense against muggers.
Well, isn't a pig just an extra vicious mugger? Write J.P. Darby, 8813 New Hyde Park, New
York, N.Y. 11040 for a variety of types and prices.
Tear gas shells are available for 12 gauge shotguns and .38 Special handguns, but it is
highly inadvisable to bring guns to street actions. A far better weapon is a specially built
projection device that shoots tear gas shells. Hercules Gas-Munitions Corp., 5501 No.
Broadway, Chicago, Ill., sells compact units complete with cartridges for $6.95 that will fire
up to 20 feet. Penguin Associates, Inc., Pennsylvania Avenue, Malvern, Penn., also has a
variety of tear-gas propellant devices including a combination tear gas-billyclub item. All
these companies will supply a catalogue and price list on request. Some states have laws
against civilian use of tear gas devices. New York is one of them, and unfortunately these
companies will not ship to states that forbid usage. If you want any of these items, and your
state has restrictions, have a sister or brother in a neighboring state order for you. Just
latching onto these catalogues can be a trip and a half in terms of getting your imagination
hopping. For example Raid, Black Flag and other insecticides shoot a 7 to 10 foot stream
that burns the eyes. You can also dissolve Drano in water and squirt it from an ordinary
plastic water pistol. That makes a highly effective defensive weapon. A phony letterhead of
a Civil Defense unit will help in getting heavier anti-personal weapons of a defensive nature.
Anti-Tire Weapons
Don't believe all those bullshit tire ads that make tires seem like the Superman of the
streets. Roofing nails spread out on the street are effective in stopping a patrol car. A nail
sticking out from a strong piece of wood wedged under a rear tire will work as effectively as
a bazooka. An ice pick will do the trick repeatedly but you've got to have a strong arm to
strike home. Sugar in the gas tank of a pig vehicle will really fuck-up the engine.
Authentic Pig Game
If you really get into it, you'll probably want to be sd heavily prepared for trashing as are
the pigs. Wouldn't you just know that the largest supplier of equipment to police in the
world is in Chicago. Kale's, 550 W. Roosevelt Rd., Chicago, Ill. 60607, will send you, on
request, the most complete catalogue you can get for trashing. Actual police uniforms,
super-riot helmets, persuaders chemical mace, a knuckle sap, which is a glove with
powdered lead, billy clubs, secret holsters, a three-in-one mob stick that spits Mace, emits
an electric shock and allows you to club to death a charging rhinoceros. You can also get
the latest in handcuffs and other security devices. This catalogue is a must for the
love-child of the 70's. If we want to get high we're going to have to fight our way up.
KNIFE FIGHTING
Probably one of the most favored street weapons of all time is the good old "shiv," "blade,"
"toe-jabber" or whatever you choose to call a good sticker. Remembering that today's pig is
tomorrow's bacon, it's good to know a few handy slicing tips. The first thing to learn is the
local laws regarding the possession of knives. The laws on possession are of the "Catch-22"
vagueness. Cops can arrest you for having a small pocket knife and claim you have a
concealed and deadly weapon in your possession. Here, as in most cases of law, it's not
what you are doing, it's who's doing the what that counts. All areas, however, usually have a
limit on length such as blades under 4" or 6" are legal and anything over that length
concealed on a person can be considered illegal. Asking some hip lawyers can help here.
Unfortunately, the best fighting knives are illegal. Switchblades (and stilettos) because they
can so quickly spring into operation, are great weapons that are outlawed in all states. If
you want to risk the consequences, however, you can readily purchase these weapons once
you learn how to contact the criminal underworld or in most foreign countries. If both of
these fail, go to any pawnshop, look in the window, and take our choice of lethal, illegal
knives.
A flat gravity knife, available in most army surplus and pawn shops would be the best type
available in regular over-the-counter buying. It's flat style makes for easy concealment and
comfort when kept in a pocket or boot. It can be greased and the rear "heel" of the blade
can be filed down to make it fly open with a flick of the wrist. A little practice here will be
very useful.
Most inexperienced knife fighters use a blade incorrectly. Having seen too many Jim Bowies
slash their way through walls of human flesh, they persist in carrying on this inane tradition.
Overhead and uppercut slashes are a waste of energy and blade power. The correct
method is to hold the knife in a natural, firm grip and jab straight ahead at waist level with
the arm extending full length each time. This fencing style allows for the maximum reach of
arm and blade. By concentrating the point of the knife directly at the target, you make
defense against such an attack difficult. Work out with this jabbing method in front of a
mirror and in a few days you'll get it down pretty well.
UNARMED DEFENSE
Let's face it, when it comes to trashing in the streets, our success is going to depend on
our cunning and speed rather than our strength and power. Our side is all quarterbacks,
and the pigs have nothing but linemen. They are clumsy, slobbish brutes that would be lost
without their guns, clubs and toy whistles. When one grabs you for an arrest, you can with a
little effort, make him let go. In the confusion of all the street action, you will then be able
to manage your getaway.
There are a variety of defensive twists and pulls that are easy to master by reading a good,
easily understandable book on the subject, such as George Hunter's How To Defend
Yourself (see appendix). If a pig grabs you by the wrist you can break the grip by twisting
against his thumb. Try this on yourself by grabbing one wrist with your hand. See how
difficult it is to hold someone who works against the thumb. If he grabs you around the
waist or neck, you can grab his thumbs or another finger and sharply bend it backwards. By
concentrating all your energy on one little finger, you can inflict pain and cause the grip to
be broken.
There are a variety of points on the body where a firm amount of pressure skillfully directed
will induce severe pain. A grip, for example, can be broken by jabbing your finger firmly
between the pig's knuckles. (Nothing like chopped pigknuckles.) Feel directly under your
chin in back of the jawbone until your finger rests in the V area, press firmly upward and
backward towards the center of the head. There is also a very vulnerable spot right behind
the ear lobe. Stick your fingers there and see. Get the point!
In addition to pressure points, there are places in the body where a sharp, well-directed
whack with the side of a rigidly held palm can easily disable a person. Performed by an
expert, such a blow can even be lethal. Try making such a rigid palm and practice these
judo chops. The fist is a ridiculous weapon to use. It's fleshy, the blow is distributed over too
wide an area to have any real effect and the knuckles break easily. You will have to train
yourself to use judo chops instinctively, but it will prove quite worthwhile if you are ever in
trouble. A good place to aim for is directly in the center of the chest cavity at its lowest
point. Draw a straight line up about six inches starting from your belly button, and you can
feel the point. The Adam's Apple in the center of the neck and the back of the neck at the
top of the spinal column are also extremely vulnerable spots. With the side of your palm,
press firmly the spot directly below your nose and above your upper lip. You can easily get
an idea of what a short, forceful chop in this area would do. The side of the head in front of
the ear is also a good place to aim your blow.
In addition to jabs, chops, twists, squeezes and bites, you ought to gain some mastery of
kneeing and kicking. If you are being held in close and facing the porker, the old familiar
knee-in-the-nuts will produce remarkable results. A feinting motion with the head before the
knee is delivered will produce a reflexive reaction from your opponent that will leave his
groin totally unprotected. Ouch!
Whether he has you from the front or the back, he is little prepared to defend against a
skillfully aimed kick. The best way is to forcefully scrape the side of your shoe downward
along the shinbone, beginning just below the knee and ending with a hard stomp on the
instep of the foot. Just try this with the side of your hand and you will get an idea of the
damage you can inflict with this scrape and stomp method. Another good place to kick and
often the only spot accessible is the side of the knee. Even a half successful blow here will
topple the biggest of honkers. Any of these easy to learn techniques of unarmed self
defense will fulfill the old nursery rhyme that goes:
Catch a piggy by the toe
When he hollers
Let him go
Out pops Y-0-U
GENERAL STRATEGY RAP
The guideline in trashing is to try and do as much property destruction as possible without
getting caught or hurt. The best buildings to trash in terms of not alienating too many of
those not yet clued into revolutionary violence, are the most piggy symbols of violence you
can find. Banks, large corporations, especially those that participate heavily in supporting
the U.S. armed forces, federal buildings, courthouses, police stations, and Selective Service
centers are all good targets. On campuses, buildings that are noted for warfare research
and ROTC training are best. When it comes to automobiles, choose only police vehicles and
very expensive cars such as Lamborghinis and Iso Grifos. Every rock or molotov cocktail
thrown should make a very obvious political point. Random violence produces random
propaganda results. Why waste even a rock?
When you know there is going to be a rough street scene developing, don't play into the
pig's strategy. Spread the action out. Help waste the enemy's numbers. You and the other
members of your group should already have a target or two in mind that will make for easy
trashing. If you don't have one, setting fires in trash cans and ringing fire alarms will help
provide a cover for other teams that do have objectives picked out. Putting out street
lights with rocks also helps the general infusion.
After a few tries at trashing, you'll begin to overcome your fears, learn what to expect from
both the pigs and your comrades, and develop your own street strategy. Nothing works like
practice in actual street conditions. Get your head together and you'll become a pro. Don't
make the basic mistake of just naively floating into the area. Don't think "rally" or
"demonstration," think "WAR" and "Battle Zone." Keep your eyes and ears open. Watch for
mistakes made by members of your gang and those made by other comrades. Watch for
blunders by the police. In street fighting, every soldier should think like a general.
Workshops should be organized right after an action to discuss the strength and
weaknesses of techniques and strategies used. Avoid political bullshit at such raps. Regard
them as military sessions. Persons not versed in the tactics of revolution usually have
nothing worthwhile to say about the politics of revolution.
People's Chemistry
STINK BOMB
You can purchase buteric acid at any chemical supply store for "laboratory experiments." It
can be thrown or poured directly in an area you think already stinks. A small bottle can be
left uncapped behind a door that opens into the target room. When a person enters they
will knock over the bottle, spilling the liquid. Called a "Froines," by those in the know, an
ounce of buteric acid can go a long way. Be careful not to get it on your clothing. A
home-made stink bomb can be made by mixing a batch of egg whites, Drano, (sodium
hydroxide) and water. Let the mixture sit for a few days in a capped bottle before using.
SMOKE BOMB
Sometimes it becomes strategically correct to confuse the opposition and provide a smoke
screen to aid an escape. A real home-made stroke bomb can be made by combining four
parts sugar to six parts saltpeter (available at all chemical supply stores). This mixture
must then be heated over a very low flame. It will blend into a plastic substance. When this
starts to gel, remove from the heat and allow the plastic to cool. Embed a few wooden
match heads into the mass while it's still pliable and attach a fuse.*
The smoke bomb itself is a non-explosive and non-flame-producing, so no extreme safety
requirements are needed. About a pound of the plastic will produce thick enough smoke to
fill a city block. Just make sure you know which way the wind is blowing.
Weathermen-women! If you're not the domestic type, you can order smoke flares (yellow or
black) for $2.00 a flare [12 inch] from Time Square Stage Lighting Co., 318 West 47th
Street, New York, NY 10036.
*You can make a good homemade fuse by dipping a string in glue and then rolling it lightly
in gunpowder. When the glue hardens, wrap the string tightly and neatly with scotch tape.
This fuse can be used in a variety of ways. Weight it on one end and drop a rock into the
tank of a pig vehicle. Light the other end and run like hell.
CBW
LACE (Lysergic Acid Crypto-Ethelene) can be made by mixing LSD with DMSO, a high
penetrating agent, and water. Sprayed from an atomizer or squirted from a water pistol,
the purple liquid will send any pig twirling into the Never-Never Land of chromosome
damage. It produces an involuntary pelvic action in cops that resembles fucking.
Remember when Mace runs out, turn to Lace.
How about coating thin darts in LSD and shooting them from a Daisy Air Pellet Gun? Guns
and darts are available at hobby and sports shops. Sharpening the otherwise dull darts will
help in turning on your prey.
MOLOTOV COCKTAIL
Molotov cocktails are a classic street fighting weapon served up around the world. If you've
never made one, you should try it the next time you are in some out-of-the-way barren
place just to wipe the fear out of your mind and know that it works. Fill a thin-walled bottle
half full with gasoline. Break up a section of styrofoam (cups made of this substance work
fine) and let it sit in the gasoline for a few days. The mixture should be slushy and almost fill
the bottle. The styrofoam spreads the flames around and regulates the burning. The
mixture has nearly the same properties as napalm. Soap flakes (not detergents) can be
substituted for styrofoam. Rubber cement and sterno also work. In a pinch, plain gasoline
will do nicely, but it burns very fast. A gasoline-kerosene mixture is preferred by some folks.
Throwing, although by far not the safest method, is sometimes necessary. The classic
technique of stuffing a rag in the neck of a bottle, lighting and tossing is foolish. Often gas
fumes escape from the bottle and the mixture ignites too soon, endangering the thrower. If
you're into throwing, the following is a much safer method: Once the mixture is prepared
and inside the bottle, cap it tightly using the original cap or a suitable cork. Then wash the
bottle off with rubbing alcohol and wipe it clean. Just before you leave to strike a target,
take a strip of rag or a tampax and dip it in gasoline. Wrap this fuse in a small plastic
baggie and attach the whole thing to the neck of the capped bottle with the aid of several
rubber bands. When you are ready to toss, use a lighter to ignite the baggie. Pall back your
arm and fling it as soon as the tampax catches fire. This is a very safe method if followed to
the letter. The bottle must break to ignite. Be sure to throw it with some force against a
hard surface.
Naturally, an even safer method is to place the firebomb in a stationary position and rig up
a timing fuse. Cap tightly and wipe with alcohol as before. The alcohol wipe not only is a
safety factor, but it eliminates tell-tale fingerprints in case the Molotov doesn't ignite. Next,
attach an ashcan fire cracker (M-80) or a cherry bomb to the side of the bottle using
epoxy glue. A fancier way is to punch a hole in the cap and pull the fuse of the cherry bomb
up through the hole before you seal the bottle. A dab of epoxy will hold the fuse in place
and insure the seal. A firecracker fuse ignites quickly so something will have to be rigged
that will deal the action enough to make a clean getaway.
When the firebomb is placed where you want it, light up a non-filter cancerette. Take a few
puffs (being sure not to inhale the vile fumes) to get it going and work the unlighted end
over the fuse of the firecracker. This will provide a delay of from 5 to 15 minutes. To use
this type of fuse successfully, there must be enough air in the vicinity so the flame won't go
out. A strong wind would not be good either. When the cancerette burns down, it sets off
the firecracker which in turn explodes and ignites the mixture. The flames shoot out in the
direction opposite to where you attach the firecracker, thus allowing you to aim the
firebomb at the most flammable material. With the firecracker in the cap, the flames
spread downward in a halo. The cancerette fuse can also be used with a book of matches to
ignite a pool of gasoline or a trash can. Stick the unlighted end behind the row of match
heads and close the cover. A firecracker attached to a gallon jug of red paint and set off
can turn an office into total abstract art.
Commercial fuses are available in many hobby stores. Dynamite fuses are excellent and
sold in most rural hardware stores. A good way to make a homemade fuse is described
above under the Smoke Bomb section. By adding an extra few feet of fuse to the device and
then attaching the lit cancerette fuse, you add an extra measure of caution. It is most
important to test every type of fuse device you plan to use a number of times before the
actual hit. Some experimentation will allow you to standardize the results. If you really want
to get the job done right and have the time, place several molotov cocktails in a group and
rig two with fuses (in case one goes out). When one goes, they all go . .
.BAROOOOOOOOOOM!
STERNO BOMB
One of the simplest bombs to make is the converted sterno can. It will provide some bang
and a widely dispersed spray of jellied fire. Remove the lid from a standard, commercially
purchased can and punch a hold in the center big enough for the firecracker fuse. Take a
large spoonful of jelly out of the center to make room for the firecracker. Insert the
firecracker and pull the fuse up through the hole in the lid. When in place, cement around
the hole with epoxy glue. Put some more glue around the rim of the can and reseal the lid.
Wipe the can and wash off excess with rubbing alcohol. A cancerette fuse should be used.
The can could also be taped around a bottle with Molotov mixture and ignited.
AEROSOL BOMB
You can purchase smokeless gunpowder at most stores where guns and ammunition are
sold. It is used for reloading bullets. The back of shotgun shells can be opened and the
powder removed. Black powder is more highly explosive but more difficult to come by. A
graduate chemist can make or get all you'll need. If you know one that can be trusted, go
over a lot of shit with him. Try turning him on to learning how to make "plastics" which are
absolutely the grooviest explosive available. The ideal urban guerrilla weapons are these
explosive plastic compounds.
The neat homemade bomb that really packs a wallop can be made from a regular aerosol
can that is empty. Remove the nozzle and punch in the nipple area on the top of the can.
Wash the can out with rubbing alcohol and let dry. Fill it gently and lovingly with an
explosive powder. Add a layer of cotton to the top and insert a cherry bomb fuse. Use
epoxy glue to hold the fuse in place and seal the can. The can should be wiped clean with
rubbing alcohol. Another safety hint to remember is never store the powder and your fuses
or other ignition material together. Powder should always be treated with a healthy amount
of respect. No smoking should go on in the assembling area and no striking of hard metals
that might produce a spark. Use your head and you'll get to keep it.
PIPE BOMBS
Perhaps the most widely used homemade concussion bombs are those made out of pipe.
Perfected by George Metesky, the renown New York Mad Bomber, they are deadly, safe,
easy to assemble, and small enough to transport in your pocket. You want a standard steel
pipe (two inches in diameter is a good size) that is threaded on both ends so you can cap
it. The length you use depends on how big an explosion is desired. Sizes between 3-10
inches in length have been successfully employed. Make sure both caps screw on tightly
before you insert the powder. The basic idea to remember is that a bomb is simply a hot
fire burning very rapidly in a tightly confined space. The rapidly expanding gases burst
against the walls of the bomb. If they are trapped in a tightly sealed iron pipe, when they
finally break out, they do so with incredible force. If the bomb itself is placed in a somewhat
enclosed area like a ventilation shaft, doorway or alleyway, it will in turn convert this larger
area into a "bomb" and increase the over-all explosion immensely.
When you have the right pipe and both caps selected, drill a hole in the side of the pipe
(before powder is inserted) big enough to pull the fuse through. If you are using a
firecracker fuse, insert the firecracker, pull the fuse through and epoxy it into place
securely. If you are using long fusing either with a detonator (difficult to come by) timing
device or a simple cancerette fuse, drill two holes and run two lines of fuse into the pipe.
When you have the fuse rigged to the pipe, you are ready to add the powder. Cape one end
snugly, making sure you haven't trapped any grains of powder in the threads. Wipe the
device with rubbing alcohol and you're ready to blast off.
A good innovation is to grind down one half of the pipe before you insert the powder. This
makes the walls of one end thinner than the walls of the other end. When you place the
bomb, the explosion, following the line of least resistance, will head in that direction. You
can do this with ordinary grinding tools available in any hardware or machine shop. Be sure
not to have the powder around when you are grinding the pipe, since sparks are produced.
Woodstock Nation contains instructions for more pipe bombs and a neat timing device
(see pages 115-117).
GENERAL BOMB STRATEGY
This section is not meant to be a handbook on explosives. Anyone who wishes to become an
expert in the field can procure a number of excellent books on the subject catalogued in
the Appendix. In bombing, as in trashing, the same general strategy in regard to the
selection of targets applies. Never use anti-personnel shrapnel bombs. Always be careful in
placing the devices to keep them away from glass windows and as far away from the front
of the building as possible. Direct them away from any area in which there might be people.
Sophisticated electric timers should be used only by experts in demolitions. Operate in the
wee hours of the night and be careful that you don't injure a night watchman or guard.
Telephone in warnings before the bomb goes off. The police record all calls to emergency
numbers and occasionally people have been traced down by the use of a voice-o-graph. The
best way to avoid detection is by placing a huge wad of chewed up gum on the roof of your
mouth before you talk. Using a cloth over the phone is not good enough to avoid detection.
Be as brief as possible and always use a pay phone.
When you get books from companies or libraries dealing with explosives or guerrilla warfare,
use a phony name and address. Always do this if you obtain chemicals from a chemical
supply house. These places are being increasingly watched by the F.B.I. Store your material
and literature in a safe cool place and above all, keep your big mouth shut!
First Aid For Street Fighters
Without intending to spook you, we think it is becoming increasingly important for as many
people as possible to develop basic first aid skills. As revolutionary struggle intensifies, so
will the number and severity of injuries increase. Reliance on establishment medical
facilities will become risky. Hospitals that border on "riot" areas are used by police to
apprehend suspects. All violence-induced injuries treated by establishment doctors might
be reported. Knife and gunshot wounds in all states by law must be immediately phoned in
for investigation. At times a victim has no choice but to run such risks. If you can, use a
phony name, but everyone should know the location of sympathetic doctors.
Chaos resulting from the gassing, clubbing and shooting associated with a police riot also
makes personal first aid important. Most demonstrations have medical teams that run with
the people and staff mobile units, but often these become the target of assault by the
more vicious pigs. Also, in the confusion, there is usually too much work for the medical
teams. Everyone must take responsibility for everyone else if we are to survive in the
streets. If you spot someone lying unconscious or badly injured, take it upon yourself to
help the victim. Immediately raise your arm or wave your Nation flag and shout for a medic.
If the person is badly hurt, it is best not to move him, or her, but if there is the risk of more
harm or the area is badly gassed, the victim should be moved to safety. Try to be as gentle
as possible. Get some people to help you.
WHAT TO DO
Your attitude in dealing with an injured person is extremely important. Don't panic at the
sight of blood. Most bloody injuries look far worse than they are. Don't get nervous if the
victim is unconscious. If you're not able to control your own fear about treating someone,
call for another person. It helps to attend a few first aid classes to overcome these fears in
practice sessions.
When you approach the victim, identify yourself. Calmly, but quickly figure out what's the
matter. Check to see if the person is alive by feeling for the pulse. There are a number of
spots to check if the blood is circulating, under the chin near the neck, the wrists, and
ankles are the most common. Get in the habit of feeling a normal pulse. A high pulse (over
100 per minute) usually indicates shock. A low pulse indicates some kind of injury to the
heart or nervous system. Massaging the heart can often restore the heartbeat, especially if
its loss is due to a severe blow to the chest. Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation should be used
if the victim is not breathing. Both these skills can be mastered in a first aid course in less
than an hour and should become second nature to every street fighter.
When it comes to dealing with bleeding or possible fractures, enlisting the victim's help as
well as adopting a firm but calm manner will be very reassuring. This is important to avoid
shock. Shock occurs when there is a serious loss of blood and not enough is being supplied
to the brain. The symptoms are high pulse rate; cold, clammy, pale skin; trembling or
unconsciousness. Try to keep the patient warm with blankets or coats. If a tremendous
amount of blood has been lost, the victim may need a transfusion. Routine bleeding can be
stopped by firm direct pressure over the source of bleeding for 5 to 10 minutes. If an
artery has been cut and bleeding is severe, a tourniquet will be needed. Use a belt, scarf or
torn shirtsleeve. Tie the tourniquet around the arm or leg directly above the bleeding area
and tighten it until the bleeding stops. Do not loosen the tourniquet. Wrap the injured limb
in a cold wet towel or ice if available and move the person to a doctor or hospital before
irreparable damage can occur. Don't panic, though, you have about six hours.
A painful blow to a limb is best treated with an ice pack and elevation of the extremity by
resting it on a pillow or rolled-up jacket. A severe blow to the chest or side can result in a
rib fracture which produces sharp pains when breathing and/or coughing up blood. Chest
X-rays will eventually be needed. Other internal injuries can occur from sharp body blows
such as kidney injuries. They are usually accompanied by nausea, vomiting, shock and
persistent abdominal pain. If you feel a bad internal injury has occurred, get prompt
professional help.
Head injuries have to be attended to with more attention than other parts of the body.
Treat them by stopping the bleeding with direct pressure. They should be treated before
other injuries as they more quickly can cause shock. Every head injury should be X-rayed
and the injured person should be watched for the next 24 hours as complications can
develop hours after the injury was sustained. After a severe blow to the head, be on the
look-out for excessive sleepiness or difficulty in waking. Sharp and persistent headaches,
vomiting and nausea, dizziness or difficulty maintaining balance are all warning signs. If they
occur after a head injury, call a doctor.
If a limb appears to be broken or fractured, improvise a splint before moving the victim.
Place a stiff backing behind the limb such as a board or rolled-up magazine and wrap both
with a bandage. Try to avoid moving the injured limb as this can lead to complicating the
fracture. Every fracture must be X-rayed to evaluate the extent of the injury and
subsequent treatment.
Bullet wounds to the abdomen, chest or head, if loss of consciousness occurs are extremely
dangerous and must be seen by a doctor immediately. If the wound occurs in the limb,
treat as you would any bleeding with direct pressure bandage and tourniquet only if nothing
else will stop the bleeding.
If you expect trouble, every person going to a street scene should have a few minimum
supplies in addition to those mentioned in the section on Demonstrations for protection. A
handful of bandaids, gauze pads (4x4), an ace bandage (3 inch width), and a roll of 1/2 inch
adhesive tape can all easily fit in your pocket. A plastic bag with cotton balls pre-soaked in
water will come in handy in a variety of situations where gas is being used, as will a small
bottle of mineral oil. You should write the name, phone number and address of the nearest
movement doctor on your arm with a ballpoint pen. Your arm's getting pretty crowded,
isn't it? If someone is severely injured, it may be better to save their life by taking them to
a hospital, even though that means probable capture for them, rather than try to treat it
yourself. However, do not confuse the police with the hospital. Many injured people have
been finished off by the porkers, and that's no joke. It is usually better to treat a person
yourself rather than let the pigs get them, unless they have ambulance equipment right
there and don't seem vicious. Even then, they will often wait until they get two or three
victims before making a trip to the hospital.
If you have a special medical problem, such as being a diabetic or having a penicillin allergy,
you should wear a medi-alert tag around your neck indicating your condition. Every person
who sees a lot of street action should have a tetanus shot at least once in every five years.
Know just this much, and it will help to keep down serious injuries at demonstrations. A few
lessons in a first aid class at one of the Free Universities or People's Clinics will go a long
way in providing you with the confidence and skill needed in the street.
MEDICAL COMMITTEES
Here is a partial list of some Medical Committees for Human Rights. They will be glad to
give you first aid instructions and often organize medical teams to work demonstrations. A
complete list is available from the Chicago office.
BALTIMORE, MARYLAND, 21215 - 6012 Wallis Ave.
BERKELEY, CALIFORNIA, 94609 - 663 Alcartz
BIRMINGHAM, ALABAMA, 35205 - 2122 9th Ave. South
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS - 1512 E. 55th St.
CLEVELAND, OHIO, 44112 - Outpost, 13017 Euclid Ave.
DETROIT, MICHIGAN, 48207 - 1300 E. Lafayette
HARTFORD, CONN., 06112 - 161 Ridgefield St.
LOS ANGELES, CALIF. - PO Box 2463, Sepulveda, Calif. 91343 (mail)
NASHVILLE,TENN., 37204 - 3301 Leland Land
NEW HAVEN, CONN., - 30 Bryden Terrace, Hamden, Conn. 06514 (mail)
NEW ORLEANS LA., 70130 - 623 Bourbon St.
NEW YORK, NY 10014 - 15 Charles St.
PHILADELPHIA, PA., 19119 - 6705 Lincoln Drive
PITTSBURGH, PA., 15222 - 617 Empire Building
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIF., 94115 - 2519 Pacific Ave.
SYRACUSE, NY, 13210 - 931 Comstock Ave.
WASHINGTON, D.C. - 3410 Taylor St., Chevy Chase, Md. 20015 (mail)
Hip-Pocket Law
LEGAL ADVICE
Any discussion about what to do while waiting fur the lawyer has to be qualified by pointing
out that from the moment of arrest through the court appearances, cops tend to
disregard a defendant's rights. Nonetheless, you should play it according to the book
whenever possible as you might get your case bounced out on a technicality. When you get
busted, rule number one is that you have the right to remain silent. We advise that you give
only your name and address. There is a legal dispute about whether or not you are
obligated under the law to do even that, but most lawyers feel you should. The address can
be that of a friend if you're uptight about the pigs knowing where you live.
When the pigs grab you, chances are they are going to insult you, rough you up a little and
maybe even try to plant some evidence on you. Try to keep your cool. Any struggle on your
part, even lying on the street limp, can be considered resisting arrest. Even if you beat the
original charge, you can be found guilty of resisting and receive a prison sentence. Often if
the pigs beat you, they will say that you attacked them and generally charge you with
assault.
If you are stopped in the street on suspicion (which means you're black or have long hair),
the police have the right to pat you down to see if you are carrying a weapon. They cannot
search you unless they place you under arrest. Technically, this can only be done in the
police station where they have the right to examine your possessions. Thus, if you are in a
potential arrest situation, you should refrain from carrying dope, sharp objects that can be
classified as a weapon, and the names and phone numbers of people close to you, like your
dealer, your local bomb factory, and your friends underground.
Forget about talking your way out of it or escaping once you're in the car or paddy wagon.
In the police station, insist on being allowed to call your lawyer. Getting change might be a
problem so you should always have a few dimes hidden. Since many cases are dismissed
because of this, you'll generally be allowed to make some calls, but it might take a few
hours. Call a close friend and tell him to get all the cash that can be quickly raised and
head down to the court house. Usually the police will let you know where you'll be taken. If
they don't, just tell your friend what precinct you're being held at, and he can call the
central police headquarters and find out what court you'll be appearing in. Ask your friend
to also call a lawyer which you also should do if you get another phone call. Hang up and
dial a lawyer or defense committee that has been set up for demonstrations. The lawyer
will either come to the station or meet you in court depending on the severity of the charge
and the likelihood you'll be beaten in the station. When massive demonstrations are
occurring where a number of busts are anticipated, it's best to have lawyers placed in
police stations in the immediate vicinity.
The lawyer will want to know as many details as possible of the case so try and concentrate
on remembering a number of things since the pigs aren't going to let you take notes. If you
can, remember the name and badge number of the fink that busted you. Sometimes they'll
switch arresting officers on you. Remember the time, location of the bust and any potential
witnesses that the lawyer might be able to contact.
If you are unable to locate a lawyer, don't panic, the court will assign you one at the time of
the arraignment. Legal Aid lawyers are free and can usually do as good a job as a private
lawyer at an arraignment. Often they can do better, as the judge might set a lower bail if he
sees you can't afford a private lawyer. The arraignment is probably the first place you'll find
out what the charges are against you. There will also be a court date set and bail
established. The amount of bail depends on a variety of factors ranging from previous
convictions to the judge's hangover. It can be put up in collateral, i.e., a bank book, or often
there is a cash alternative offered which amounts to about 10% of the total bail.
Your friend should be in the court with some cash (at least a hundred dollars is
recommended). For very high bail, there are the bail bondsmen in the area of the
courthouse who will cover the bail for a fee,generally not to exceed 5%. You will need some
signatures of solid citizens to sign the bail papers and perhaps put up some collateral.
Once you get bailed out, you should contact a private lawyer, preferably one that has
experience with your type of case. If you are low on bread, check out one of the community
or movement legal groups in your area. It is not advisable to keep the legal aid lawyer
beyond the arraignment if at all possible.
If you're in a car or in your home, the police do not have a right to search the premises
without a search warrant or probable cause. Do not consent to any search without a
warrant, especially if there are witnesses around who can hear you. Without your consent,
the pigs must prove probable cause in the court. It's unbelievable the number of
defendants that not only come naked, but pull their own pants down. Make the cops kick in
the door or break open the trunk themselves. You are under no obligation to assist them in
collecting evidence, and helping them weakens your case.
LAWYERS GROUPS
National Lawyers Guild
The "Guild" provides various free legal services especially for political prisoners. If you have
any legal hassles, call and see if they'll help you. You can call the one nearest you and get
the name of a good lawyer in your area.
BOSTON - 70 Charles St.
DETROIT - 5705 N. Woodward St.
LOS ANGELES - c/o Haymarket, 507 N. Hoover St.
NEW YORK - 1 Hudson St.
SAN FRANCISCO - 197 Steiner St.
Outside of these areas, there are no offices, but people to contact in the following cities
are:
FLINT, MICH., Carl Bekofske, 1003 Church St.
PHILADELPHIA, PA. - A. Harry Levitan, 1412 Fox Building
WASHINGTON, D.C. - S. David Levy, 2812 Pennsylvania Ave., N.W.
American Civil Liberties Union
The ACLU is not as radical as the Guild, but will in rare instances provide good lawyers for a
variety of civil liberty cases such as censorship, denial of permits to demonstrations, and
the like. But beware of their tendency to win the legal point while losing the case. Here is a
list of some of their larger offices.
ALABAMA - Box 1972, University, Alabama 35486
CALIFORNIA - ACLU of Northern California, 503 Market St.,
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - 94105 (EX 2-4692)
COLORADO - 1452 Pennsylvania St., Denver, Colorado 80203 (303-TA5-2930)
GEORGIA - 5 Forsyth St. N.W., Atlanta, Georgia 30303 (404-523-5398)
ILLINOIS - 6 S. Clark, Chicago, Illinois 60603 (312-236-5564)
MICHIGAN - 234 State St., Detroit, Mich. 48226 (313-961-4662)
MONTANA - 2707 Glenwood Land, Billings, Montana 59102 (406-651-2328)
NEW MEXICO - 131 La Vega S.W., Albuquerque, New Mexico 87105 (505-877-5286)
NEW YORK - 156 Fifth Ave., New York, NY 10010 (212-WA9-6076)
NORTH DAKOTA - Ward County (Minot), Box 1000, Minot, North Dakota 58701
(702-838-0381)
OHIO - Suite 200, 203 E. Broad St., Columbus, Ohio 43215
WASHINGTON, DC - (NCACLU) 1424 16th St. NW, Suite 501,
WASHINGTON, DC - 20036 (202-483-3830) (202-483-3830)
WEST VIRGINIA - 1228 Seventh St., Huntington, West Virginia 25701
WISCONSIN - 1840 N. Farwell Ave., Rm. 303, Milwaukee, Wisc. 53202 (414-272-4032)
To obtain a complete list of all the ACLU chapters, write: American Civil Liberties Union,
156 5th Avenue, New York, NY 10010, or call them at (212) WA 9-6076.
JOIN THE ARMY OF YOUR CHOICE
The first rule of our new Nation prohibits any of us from serving in the army of a foreign
power with which we do not have an alliance. Since we exist in a state of war with the Pig
Empire, we all have a responsibility to beat the draft by any means necessary.
First check out your medical history. Review every chronic or long-term illness you ever had.
Be sure to put down all the serious infections like mono or hep. Next, make note of your
physical complications. When you have assembled a complete list, get a copy of Physical
Deferments or one of the other draft counseling manuals and see if you qualify. If you have
a legitimate deferment, document it with a letter from a doctor.
The next best deal is a Conscientious Objection status (C.O.) or a psychiatric deferment
(psycho). The laws have been getting progressively broader in defining C.O. status during
the past few year s. The most recent being, "sincere moral objections to war," without
necessarily a belief in a supreme being. There are general guidelines sent out by the
National Office of Selective Service that say it is a matter of conscience. The decision,
however, is still pretty much in the hands of the local board. Visit a Draft Counseling Center
if you feel you have a chance for this type of story. They'll know how your local board tends
to rule. There are still some more cases to be heard by the Supreme Court before
objection to a particular war is allowed or disallowed. It is not grounds for deferment as of
now.
Psychos are our specialty. Chromosome damage has totally wiped out our minds when it
comes to concentrating on killing innocent people in Asia. When you get your invite to join
the army, there are lots of ways you can prepare yourself mentally. Begin by staggering up
to a cop and telling him you don't know who you are or where you live. He'll arrange for you
to be chauffeured to the nearest mental hospital. There you repeat your performance,
dropping the clue that you have used LSD in the past, but you aren't sure if you're on it now
or not. In due time, they'll put you up for the night. When morning comes, you bounce out of
bed, remember who you are, swear you'll never drop acid again and thank everyone who
took care of you. Within a few hours, you'll be discharged. Don't be uptight about thinking
how they'll lock you up forever cause you really are nuts. The hospitals measure victories by
how quickly they can throw you out the door. They are all overcrowded anyway.
In most areas, a one-night stand in a mental hospital is enough to convince the shrink at
the induction center that you're capable of eating the flesh of a colonel. Just before you go,
see a sympathetic psychiatrist and explain your sad mental shape. He'll get verification
that you did time in a hospital and include it in his letter, that you'll take along to the
induction center.
When you get to the physical examination, a high point in any young man's life, there are
lots of things working in your favor. Here, long hair helps; the army doesn't want to bother
with trouble-makers. Remember this even though a tough looking sergeant runs down
bullshit about "how they're gonna fix your ass" and "anybody with a trigger finger gets
passed." He's just auditioning for the Audie Murphy movies, so don't believe anything he
lays down.
Talk to the other guys about how rotten the war in Vietnam is and how if you get forced to
go, you'll end up shooting some officers. Tell them you'd like the training so you can come
back and take up with the Weathermen.
Check off as many items as can't be verified when given the forms. Suicide, dizzy spells,
bed-wetting, dope addiction, homosexuality, hepatitis. Be able to drop a few symptoms on
the psychiatrist to back up your story of rejection by a cold and brutal society that was
indifferent, from a domineering father that beat you, and mother that didn't understand
anything. Be able to trace your history of bad family relationships, your taking to the
streets at 15 and eventually your getting "hooked." Let him "pry" things out of you if
possible. Show him your letter if you had the foresight to get one.
Practice a good story before you go for the physical with someone who has already beat
the system. If your local board is fucked up, you can transfer to an area that disqualifies
almost everyone who wants out, such as the New York City boards. If you can't think of
anything you can always get FUCK ARMY tattooed on the outside of the baby finger of your
right hand and give the tough sergeant a snappy salute and a hearty "yes sir!"*
*If unfortunately you get hauled in. The Army gives you a life insurance policy. By making
Dan Berrigan or Angela Davis the beneficiary you might avoid front-line duty.
CANADA, SWEDEN & POLITICAL ASYLUM
If you've totally fucked up your chances of getting a deferment or already are in the service
and considering ditching, there are some things that you should know about asylum.
There are three categories of countries that you should be interested in if you are planning
to ship out to avoid the draft or a serious prison term. The safest countries are those with
which Amerika has mutual offense treaties such as Cuba, North Korea and those behind
the so-called Iron Curtain. The next safest are countries unfriendly to the U.S. but suffer
the possibility of a military coup which might radically affect your status. Cambodia is a
recent example of a border-line country. Some cats hijacked a ship bound for Vietnam and
went to Cambodia where they were granted asylum. Shortly thereafter the military with a
good deal of help from the CIA, took over and now the cats are in jail. Algeria is currently a
popular sanctuary in this category.
Sweden will provide political asylum for draft dodgers and deserters. It helps to have a
passport, but even that isn't necessary since they are required by their own laws to let you
in. There are now about 35,000 exiles from the Pig Empire living in Sweden. The American
Deserters Committee, Upplandsgaten 18, Stockholm, phone 08-344663, will provide you
with immediate help, contacts and procedural information once you get there. If you enter
as a tourist with a passport, you can just go to the local police station, state you are
seeking asylum and fill out a form. It's that sample. They stamp your passport and this
allows you to hustle rent and food from the Swedish Social Bureau. It takes six months for
you to get working papers that will permit you to get employment, but you can live on
welfare until then with no hassle. The following places can be contacted, for additional help.
They are all in Stockholm:
Reverend Tom Hayes 82-42-11 or 21-45-86
Kristina Nystrom of the Social Bureau 08-230570
Bengt Suderstrom 31-84-32 (legal)
Hans-Goran Franck 10-25-02(legal)
Canada does not offer political asylum but they do not support the U.S. foreign policy in
Southeast Asia so they allow draft dodgers and deserters to the current tune of 50,000 to
live there unmolested. Do not tell the officials at the border that you are a deserter or
draft dodger, as they will turn you in. Pose as a visitor. To work in Canada you have to
qualify for landed immigration status under a point system.
There will be a number of background questions asked and you have to score 50 points or
better to pass and qualify. You get one point for each year of formal education, 10 points if
you have a professional skill, 10 points for being between 18-35 years of age, more points
for having a Canadian home and job waiting for you, for knowing English or French and a
whopping 15 points for having a stereotyped middle class appearance and life-style.
Letters from a priest or rabbi will help here. Some entry points are easier than others.
Kingsgate, for example, just north of Montana is very good on weekdays after 10:00 P.M.
The best approach if you are considering going to Canada is to write or, better still, visit
the Montreal Council to Aid War Resisters, Case Postale 5, Westmount, Montreal, 215
Quebec or American Deserters Committee, 3837 Blvd., Saint Laurent, St. Louis, Montreal
3, Quebec. They will provide you with the latest info on procedures and the problems of
living in Canada as a war resister. If you can't make it up there, see a local anti-war
organization for counseling. If you are already in the army, you should find out all you need
to know before you ditch. It's best to cross the border while you're on leave as it might
mean the difference between going AWOL and desertion if you decide to come back. In any
event, no one should renounce their citizenship until they have qualified for landed
immigration status as that would classify the person as a non-resident and make it possible
for the Canadian police to send you back, which on a few rare occasions has happened.
Because there have been few cases of fugitives from the U.S. seeking political asylum, there
is not a clear and ample formula that can be stated. Germany, France, Belgium and
Sweden will often offer asylum for obvious political cases but each case must be considered
individually. Go there incognito. Contact a movement organization or lawyer and have them
make application to the government. Usually they will let you stay if you promise not to
engage in political organizing in their country. In any event if they deport you these
countries are good enough to let you pick the country to which you desire to be sent.
We feel it's our obligation to let people know that life in exile is not all a neat deal, not by a
long shot. You are removed from the struggle here at home, the problems of finding work
are immense and the customs of the people are strange to you. Most people are unhappy
in exile. Many return, some turn themselves in and others come back to join the growing
radical underground making war in the belly of the great white whale.
Steal Now, Pay Never
SHOPLIFTING
This section presents some general guidelines on thievery to put you ahead of the impulse
swiping. With some planning ahead, practice and a little nerve, you can pick up on some
terrific bargains.
Being a successful shoplifter requires the development of an outlaw mentality. When you
enter a store you should already have cased the joint so don't browse around examining all
sorts of items, staring over your shoulder and generally appearing like you're about to
snatch something and are afraid of getting caught. Enter, having a good idea of what you
want and where it's located.
Camouflage is important. Be sure you dress the part by looking like an average customer. If
you are going to rip-off expensive stores (why settle for less), act like you have a chauffeur
driven car double parked around the corner. A good rule is dress in the style and price
range of the clothes, etc., you are about to shoplift. The reason we recommend the more
expensive stores is that they tend to have less security guards, relying instead on
mechanical methods or more usually on just the sales people. Many salespeople are
uptight about carrying out a bust if they catch you. A large number are thieves themselves,
in fact one good way to steal is simply explain to the salesclerk that you're broke and ask if
you can take something without paying. It's a great way to radicalize shop personnel by
rapping to them about why they shouldn't give a shit if the boss gets ripped off.
The best time to work out is on a rainy, cold day during a busy shopping season. Christmas
holiday is a shoplifter's paradise. In these periods you can wear heavy overcoats or loose
raincoats without attracting suspicion. The crowds of shoppers will keep the nosy
"can-I-help-you's" from fucking up your style.
Since you have already checked out the store before hitting it, you'll know the store's
"blind-spots" where you can be busy without being observed too easily. Dressing rooms,
blind alley aisles and washrooms are some good spots. Know where the cashier's counter is
located, where the exits to the street and storage rooms are to be found, and most
important, the type of security system in use.
If you are going to snatch in the dressing room, be sure to carry more than one item in with
you. Don't leave tell-tale empty hangers behind. Take them out and ditch them in the aisles.
An increasingly popular method of security is a small shoplifting plastic detector attached
to the price tag. It says "Do Not Remove" and if you do, it electronically triggers an alarm in
the store. If you try to make it out the door, it also trips the alarm system. When a
customer buys the item, the cashier removes the detector with a special deactivation
machine. When you enter the store, notice if the door is rigged with electronic eyes. They
are often at the waist level, which means if the item is strapped to your calf or tucked
under your hat, you can walk out without a peep from the alarm. If you trigger the alarm
either inside the store or at the threshold, just dash off lickety-split. The electronic eyes are
often disguised as part of the decor. By checking to see what the cashier does with
merchandise bought, you can be sure if the store is rigged. Other methods are undercover
pigs that look like shoppers, one-way mirrors and remote control television cameras.
Undercover pigs are expensive so stores are usually understaffed. Just watch out (without
appearing to watch out) that no one observes you in action. As to mirrors and cameras
there are always blind spots in a store created when displays are moved around, counters
shifted, and boxes piled in the aisles. Mirrors and cameras are rarely adjusted to fit these
changes. Don't get turned off by this security jazz. The percentage of stores that have
sophisticated security systems such as those described is very small. If you work out at
lunch time, the security guards and many of the sales personnel will be out of the store.
Just before closing is also good, because the clerks are concentrating on going home.
By taking only one or two items, you can prevent a bust if caught by just acting like a dizzy
klepto socialite getting kicks or use the "Oh-gee-I-forgot-to-pay" routine. Stores don't want
to hassle going into court to press charges, so they usually let you go after you return the
stuff. If you thought ahead, you'll have some cash ready to pay for the items you've
pocketed, if caught. Leave your I.D. and phone book at home before going shopping. People
rarely go to jail for shoplifting, most if caught never even see a real cop. Just lie like a fucker
and the most you'll get is a lecture on law and order and a warning not to come back to
that store or else.
TECHNIQUES
The lining of a bulky overcoat or loose raincoat can be elaborately outfitted with a variety of
custom-made large pockets. The openings to these pockets are not visible since they are
inside the coat. The outside pockets can be torn out leaving only the opening or slit. Thus
you can reach your hand (at counter level) through the slit in your coat and drop objects
into the secret pockets sewn into the lining. Pants can also be rigged with secret pockets.
The idea is to let your fingers do the walking through the slit in your coat, while the rest of
the body remains the casual browser. You'll be amazed at how much you can tuck away
without any noticeable bulge.
Another method is to use a hidden belt attached to the inside of your coat or pants. The
belt is specially designed with hooks or clothespins to which items can be discretely
attached. Ditching items into hidden pockets requires a little cunning. You should practice
before a mirror until you get good at it.
A good idea is to work with a partner. Dig this neat duet. A man and woman walk into a
store together looking like a respectable husband and wife. The man purchases a good belt
or shirt and engages the salesman in some distracting conversation as he rings up the sale.
Meanwhile, back in the aisle, "wife" is busy rolling up two or three suits. Start from the
bottom while they are still on the rack and roll them up, pants and jackets together, the
way you would roll a sleeping bag. The sleeves are tied around the roll making a neat little
bundle. The bundle is then tucked between your thighs. The whole operation takes about a
minute and with some practice you can walk for hours with a good size bundle between
your legs and not appear like you just shit in your pants. Try this with a coat on in front of a
mirror and see how good you get at it.
Another team method is for one or more partners to distract the sales clerks while the
other stuffs. There are all sorts of theater skits possible. One person can act drunk or
better still appear to be having an epileptic fit. Two people can start a fight with each
other. There are loads of ways, just remember how they do it in the next spy movie you see.
One of the best gimmicks around is the packaging technique. Once you have the target
item in hand, head for the fitting room or other secluded spot. Take out a large piece of gift
wrapping and ribbon. Quickly wrap up the item so it will look like you brought it in with you.
Many stores have their own bags and staple the cash register receipt to the top of the bag
when you make a purchase. Get a number of these bags by saving them if you make a
purchase or dropping around to the receiving department with a request for some bags for
your Christmas play or something. Next collect some sales receipts, usually from the
sidewalk or trash cans in front of the store. Buy or rip-off a small pocket stapler for less
than a dollar. When you get the item you want, drop it in the bag and staple it closed,
remembering to attach the receipt. This is an absolutely perfect method and takes just a
few seconds. It eliminates a lot of unsightly bulges in your coat and is good for
warm-weather heisting.
A dummy shopping bag can be rigged with a bit of ingenuity. The idea is to make it look like
the bag is full when there's still lots of room left. Use strips of cardboard taped to the
inside of the bag to give it some body. Remember to carry it like it's filled with items, not
air. Professional heisters often use a "booster box," usually a neatly wrapped empty
package with one end that opens upon touch. This is ideal for electrical appliances, jewelry,
and even heavy items such as portable television sets. The trick side can be fitted with a
spring door so once the toaster is inside the door slams shut. Don't wear a black hat and
cape and go around waving a wand yelling "Abracadabra," just be your usual shlep shopper
self. If you can manage it, the trick side just can be an opening without a trick door. Just
carry the booster box with the open side pressed against your body. Briefcases, suitcases
and other types of carrying devices can all be made to hold items. Once you have
something neatly tucked away in a bag or box, it's pretty hard to prove you didn't come in
with it.
ON THE JOB
By far the easiest and most productive method of stealing is on the job. Wages paid to
delivery boys, sales clerks, shippers, cashiers and the like are so insulting that stealing
really is a way of maintaining self-respect. If you are set on stealing the store dry when you
apply for the job, begin with your best foot forward. Make what employment agencies call a
"good appearance." Exude cleanliness, Godliness, sobriety and all the other WASPy virtues
third grade teachers insist upon. Building up a good front will eliminate suspicion when
things are "missing."
Mail clerks and delivery boys can work all sorts of neat tricks. When things get a little slow,
type up some labels addressed to yourself or to close friends and play Santa Claus. Wrap
yourself a few packages or take one that is supposed to go to a customer and put your
label over theirs. Blame it on the post office or on the fact that "things get messed up
`cause of all the bureaucracy." It's great to be the one to verbalize the boss's own general
feelings before he does when something goes awry. The best on-the-job crooks always end
up getting promoted.
Cashiers and sales persons who have access to money can pick up a little pocket change
without too much effort, no matter how closely they are watched by supervisors. Women
can make use of torn hems to stash coins and bills. Men can utilize cuffs. Both can use
shoes and don't forget those secret little pockets you learned about in the last section. If
you ring up items on a cash register, you can easily mistake $1.39 for 39˘ or $1.98 for 98˘
during the course of a hectic day. Leave pennies on the top shelf of the cash register and
move one to the far right side every time you skip a dollar. That way at the end of the day,
you'll know how much to pocket and won't have to constantly be stuffing, stuffing, stuffing.
If you pick up trash or clean up, you can stick all sorts of items into wastebaskets and later
sneak them out of the store.
There are many ways of working heists with partners who pose as customers. See the
sections on free food and clothing for these. There are also ways of working partnerships on
the job. A cashier at a movie theater and a doorman can work out a system where the
doorman collects the tickets and returns them to the cashier to sell again.
A neat way to make a large haul is to get a job through an agency as a domestic for some
rich slob. You should use a phony identification when you sign up at the agency. Once you
are busy dusting the town house, check around for anything valuable to be taken home. Pick
up the phone, order all sorts of merchandise, and have it delivered. A friend with a U-haul
can help you really clean up.
CREDIT CARDS
Any discussion of shoplifting and forgeries inevitably leads to a rap on credit cards; those
little shiny plastic wonder passes to fantasy land that are rendering cash obsolete. There
are many ways to land a free credit card. You can get one yourself if your credit is good, or
from a friend: report it stolen and go on a binge around town. Sign your name a little funny.
Super underworld types might know where you can purchase a card that's not too hot on
the black market. You might heist one at a fashionable party or restaurant. If you're a hat
check girl at a night club, don't forget to check out pockets and handbags for plastic
goodies.*
Finally, you can redo a legitimate card with a new number and signature and be sure that
it's on no one's "hot list." Begin by removing the ink on the raised letters with any polyester
resin cleaner. Next, the plastic card should be held against a flat iron until the raised
identification number is melted. You can use a razor blade to shave off rough spots. This
combination of razor blade and hot iron, when worked skillfully, will produce a perfect blank
card. When the card is smooth as new, reheat it using the flat iron and press an
addressograph plate into the soft plastic. The ink can be replaced by matching the original
at any stationary store. If this is too hard, you can buy machines to make your own credit
cards, which are made for small department stores. Granted, this method is going require
some expertise, but once you've learned to successfully forge a credit card, buy every item
imaginable, eat fancy meals, and even get real money from a bank.
*The absolute best method is to have an accomplice working in the post office rip off the
new cards that are mailed out. They get to know quickly which envelopes contain new credit
cards. Since the person never receives the card it never dawns on them to report it stolen.
This gives you at least a solid month of carefree spending and your signature will be
perfect.
Whether your credit card is stolen, borrowed or forged, you still have to follow some
guidelines to get away without any hassle. Know the store's checking method before you
pass the hot card. Most stores have a fifty-dollar limit where they only call upstairs on
items costing fifty dollars or more. In some stores it's less. Some places have a Regiscope
system that takes your picture with each purchase. You should always carry at least one
piece of back-up identification to use with the phony card as the clerk might get suspicious
if you don't have any other ID. They can check out a "hot list" that the credit card
companies send out monthly, so if you're uptight about anything watch the clerk's
movements at all times. If things get tight, just split real quick. Often, even if a clerk or
boss thinks it's a phony, they'll OK the sale anyway since the credit card companies make
good to the stores on all purchases; legit or otherwise. Similarly, the insurance companies
make good to the credit companies and so on until you get to a little group of hard working
elves in the basement of the U.S. Mint who do nothing but print free money and lie to
everybody about there being tons of gold at Fort Knox to back up their own little forging
operation.
Monkey Warfare
If you like Halloween, you'll love monkey warfare. It's ideal for people uptight about guns,
bombs and other children's toys, and allows for imaginative forms of protesting, many of
which will become myth, hence duplicated and enlarged upon. A syringe (minus the needle)
or a cooking baster can be filled with a dilute solution of epoxy glue. Get the two tubes in a
hardware store and squeeze into a small bottle of rubbing alcohol. Shake real good and
pour into the baster or syringe. You have about thirty minutes before the mixture gets too
hard to use. Go after locks, parking meters, and telephones. You can fuck up the companies
that use IBM cards by buying a cheap punch or using an Exacto knife and cutting an extra
hole in the card before you return it with your payment. By the way, when you return
payments always pay a few cents under or over. The company has to send you a credit or
another bill and it screws up their bookkeeping system. Remember, always bend, fold,
staple or otherwise mutilate the card. By the way if you ever find yourself in a computer
room during a strike, you might want to fuck up the school records. You can do this by
passing a large magnet or portable electro-magnet rapidly back and forth across the reels
of tape, thus erasing them. And don't miss the tour of the IBM plant, either.
Another good bit is to rent a safe deposit box (only about $7.00 a year) in a bank using a
phony name. That usually only need a signature and don't ask for identification. When you
get a box, deposit a good size dead fish inside the deposit box, close it up and return it to
its proper niche. From then on, forget about it. Now think about it, in a few months there is
going to be a hell-of-a-smell from your small investment. It's going to be almost impossible
to trace and besides, they can never open the box without your permission. Since you don't
exist, they'll have no alternative but to move away. Invest in the Stank of Amerika savings
program. Just check out Lake Erie and you'll see saving fish isn't such a dumb idea. If you
get caught, tell them you inherited the fish from your grandmother and it has sentimental
value.
There are lots of things you can send banks, draft boards and corporations that contribute
to pollution via the mails. It is possible to also have things delivered. Have a hearse and
flowers sent to the chief of police. We know someone who had a truckload of cement
dumped in the driveway of her boss under the fib that the driveway was going to be
repaved.
By getting masses of people to use electricity, phones or water at a given time, you can
fuck up some not-so-public utility. The whole problem is getting the word out. For example,
10,000 people turning on all their electrical appliances and lights in their homes at a given
time can cause a blackout in any major city. A hot summer day at about 3:00 PM is best.
Five thousand people calling up Washington, D.C. at 3:00 PM on a Friday (one of the
busiest hours) ties up the major trunk lines and really puts a cramp in the government's
style of carrying on. Call (202) 555-1212, which is information and you won't even have to
pay for the call. If you call a government official, ask some questions like "How many kids
did you kill today?" or "What kind of liquor do Congressmen drink?" or offer to take Teddy
Kennedy for a ride. A woman can cause some real excitement by calling a Congressman's
office and screaming "Tell that bastard he forgot to meet Irene at the motel this
afternoon."
A Washington call-in would work even better by phoning direct to homes of the big boys.
For starters you can call collect the following*:
Richard M. Nixon - El Presidente - (202) 456-1444
Spiro T. Agnew - El Toro - (202) 265-2000 ext. 6400
John N. Mitchell - El Butcher - (202) 965-2900
Melvin R. Laird - El Defendo - (301) 652-4449
Henry A. Kissinger - El Exigente - (202) 337-0042
William P. Rogers - El Crapper - (301) 654-7125
General Earl G. Wheeler - El Joint Bosso - (703) 527-6119
General William C. Westmoreland - El Pollutoni - (703) 527-6999
Richard M. Helms - El Assassin - (301) 652-4122
John N. Chafee-El Sinko Swimmi-(703) 536-5411
*Any group who elopes with any of the persons listed is entitled to a free copy of this book.
Anyone who parlays all 10 in a lift-off can have all the royalties. Send ears for verification.
A great national campaign can be promoted that asks people to protest the presidential
election farces on Inauguration Day. When a president says "So help me God," rush in and
flush the toilet. A successful Flush for God campaign can really screw up the water system.
If you want to give Ma Bell an electric permanent, consider this nasty. Cut the female
device off an ordinary extension cord and expose the two wires. Unscrew the mouthpiece
on the phone and remove the voice amplifier. You will see a red and a black wire attached
to two terminals. Attach each of the wires from the extension cord to each one from the
phone. Next plug in the extension cord to a wall socket. What you are doing is sending 120
volts of electricity back through equipment which is built for only volts. You can knock off
thousands of phones, switchboards and devices if all goes right. It's best to do this on the
phone in a large office building or university. You certainly will knock out their fuses.
Unfortunately, at home your own phone will probably be knocked out of commission. If that
happens, simply call up the business office and complain. They'll give you a new phone just
the way they give the other seven million people that requested them that day.
Remember, January is Alien Registration Month, so don't forget to fill out an application at
the Post Office, listing yourself as a citizen of Free Nation. Then when they ask you to "Love
it or leave it," tell them you already left!
Piece Now
It's ridiculous to talk about a revolution without a few words on guns. If you haven't been in
the army or done some hunting, you probably have a built-in fear against guns that can only
be overcome by familiarizing yourself with them.
HANDGUNS
There are two basic types of handguns or pistols: the revolver carries a load of 5 or 6
bullets in a "revolving" chamber. The automatic usually holds the same number, but some
can hold up to 14 bullets. Also, in the automatic the bullets can be already packed in a
magazine which quickly snaps into position in the handle. The revolver must be reloaded
one bullet at a time. An automatic can jam on rare occasions, or misfire, but with a revolver
you just pull the trigger and there's a new bullet ready to fire. Despite pictures of Roy
Rogers blasting a silver dollar out of the sky, handguns are difficult to master a high degree
of accuracy with and are only good at short ranges. If you can hit a pig-size object at 25
yards, you've been practicing.
Among automatics, the Colt 45 is a popular model with a long record of reliability. A good
popular favorite is a Parabellum 9 mm, which has the advantage of a double action on the
first shot, meaning that the hammer does not have to be cocked, making possible a quick
first shot without carrying a cocked gun around. By the way, do not bother with any
handgun smaller than a .38 caliber, because cartridges smaller than that are too weak to
be effective.
Revolvers come in all sizes and makes, as do automatics. The most highly recommended
are the .38 Special and the .357 Magnum. Almost all police forces use the .38 Special. They
are light, accurate and the small-frame models are easy to conceal. If you get one, use high
velocity hollow pointed bullets, such as the Speer DWM (146 grain h.p.) or the Super Vel
(110 grain h.p.). The hollow point shatters on contact, insuring a kill to the not-so-straight
shooters. Smith and Wesson makes the most popular .38 Special. The Charter Arms is a
favorite model. The .357 Magnum is an extremely powerful handgun. You can shoot right
through the wall of a thick door with one at a distance of 20 yards. It has its own ammo,
but can also use the bullets designed for the .38. Both guns are about the same in price,
running from $75-$100 new. An automatic generally runs about $25 higher.
RIFLES
There are two commonly available types of rifles; the bolt action and the semi-automatic.
War surplus bolt action rifles are cheap and usually pretty accurate, but have a slower rate
of fire than a semi-automatic. A semi-automatic is preferable in nearly all cases. The M-1
carbine is probably the best semi-automatic for the money (about $80). It's light, short,
easy to handle and has only the drawback of a cartridge that's a little underpowered.
Among bolt actions, the Springfield, Mauser, Royal Enfield, Russian 7.62, and the Lee
Harvey Oswald Special, the Mannlicher-Carcano, are all good buys for the money (about
$20).
One of the best semi-automatics is the AR-18, which is the civilian version of the military
M-16. In general, this is a fantastic gun with a high rate of fire, minimal recoil, high
accuracy, light weight, and easy maintenance. If kept clean, it will rarely jam, and the bullet
has astounding stopping power. It sells for around $225.
SHOTGUNS
The shotgun is the ideal defensive weapon. It's perfect for the vamping band of pigs or
hard-heads that tries to lynch you. Being a good shot isn't that necessary because a
shotgun shoots a bunch of lead pellets that spread over a wide range as they leave the
barrel. There are two common types: the pump action and the semi-automatic. Single shot
types and double-barrel types do not have a high enough rate of fire for self-defense.
The pump action is easy to use and reliable. It usually holds about five shells in a tube
underneath the barrel. For self-defense you should use 00 buckshot shells. Shotguns come
in various gauges, but you will want the largest commonly available, the 12 gauge. The
Mossberg Model 500 A is a super weapon in this category which sells for about $90. When
buying one, try to get a shotgun with a barrel as short as possible up to the legal limit of 18
inches. It is easy to cut down a longer barrel, too. This increases the area sprayed.
The semi-automatic gun is not used too much for self-defense, as they usually hold only
three shells. With some practice, you can shoot a pump nearly as fast as a semi-automatic,
and they are much cheaper. See the gun books catalogued in the Appendix for more
information.
There are many other good guns available, and a great deal to know about choosing the
right gun for the right situation. Reading a little right wing gun literature will help.
OTHER WEAPONS
If you are around a military base, you will find it relatively easy to get your hands on an
M-79 grenade launcher, which is like a giant shotgun and is probably the best self-defense
weapon of all time. Just inquire discreetly among some long-haired soldiers.
TRAINING
Owning a gun ain't shit unless you know how to use it. They make a hell of a racket when
fired so you just can't work out in your den or cellar except with a BB gun, which is good in
between real practice sessions. Find a buddy who served in the military or is into hunting or
target-shooting and ask him to teach you the fundamentals of gun handling and safety. If
you're over 18, you can practice on one of your local firing ranges. Look them up in the
Yellow Pages, call and see if they offer instructions. They are usually pretty cheap to use. In
an hour, you can learn the basics you need to know about guns and the rest is mostly
practice, practice, just like in the westerns. Contact the National Rifle Association,
Washington D.C. and ask for information on forming a gun club. If you can, you are entitled
to great discounts, have no trouble using ranges and get excellent info on all matters
relating to weapons.
A secluded place in the country outside city limits, makes an ideal range for practicing.
Shoot at positioned targets. A good idea is to blow up balloons and attach them to pieces
or boxes. Position yourself downstream alongside a running brook. A partner can go
upstream and release the balloons into the water. As they rush downstream, they simulate
an attacker charging you and make excellent moving targets. Watch out for ricochetting
bullets. Have any bystander stand by behind you. A clothesline with a pulley attachment
can be rigged up to also allow practice with a moving target.
GUN LAWS
Once you decide to get a gun, check out the local laws. There are federal ones, but they're
not stricter than any state ordinance. If you're unsure about the laws, send 75˘ to the U.S.
Government Printing Office for the manual called Published Ordinances: Firearms. It runs
down the latest on all state laws. In most states you can buy a rifle or shotgun just for the
bread from a store or individual if you are over 18 years old. You can get a handgun when
you can prove you're over 21, although you generally need a special permit to carry it
concealed on your person or in your car. A concealed weapon permit is pretty hard to get
unless you're part of the establishment. You can keep a handgun in your home, though. It's
also generally illegal to walk around with a loaded gun of any type. Once you get the hang of
using a gun, you'll never want to go back to the old peashooter.
The Underground
Amerika is just another Latin dictatorship. Those who have doubts, should try the minimal
experience of organizing a large rock festival in their state*, sleeping on some beach in the
summer or wearing a flag shirt. Ask the blacks what it's been like living under racism and
you'll get a taste of the future we face. As the repression increases so will the
underground-deadly groups of stoned revolutionaries sneaking around at night and balling
all day. As deadly as their southern comrades the Tupamaros. Political trials will only occur
when the heavy folks are caught. Too many sisters and brothers have been locked up for
long stretches having maintained a false faith in the good will of the court system. Instead,
increased numbers have chosen to become fugitives from injustice: Bernadine Dohrn, Rap
Brown, Mark Rudd, hundreds of others. Some including Angela Davis, Father Berrigan and
Pun Plamondon have been apprehended and locked in cages, but most roam freely and
actively inside the intestines of the system. Their growth leads to persistent indigestion for
those who sit at the tables of power. As they form into active isolated cells they make
apprehension difficult. Soon the FBI will have a Thousand Most Wanted List. Our heroes will
be hunted like beasts in the jungle. Anyone who provides information leading to the arrest
of a fugitive is a traitor.
*Unless you want to use our music to attack our politics as the governor of Oregon did to
drain support away from demonstrations against the AmeriKKKan Legion. In such a
situation the concert should be sabotaged along with political education as to why such an
action has been taken. Don't let the pigs separate our culture from our politics.
Well fellow reader, what will you do when Rap or Bernadine call up and ask to crash for the
night? What if the Armstrong Brothers want to drop some acid at your pad or Kathy
Boudin needs some bread to keep on truckin'? The entire youth culture, everyone who
smiles secretly when President Agnew and General Mitchell refer to the growing number of
"hot-headed revolutionaries", all the folks who hope the Cong wins, who cheer the
Tupamaros on, who want to exchange secret handshakes with the Greek resistance
movement, who say "It's about time" when the pigs get gunned down in the black
community, all of us have an obligation to support the underground. They are the vanguard
of our revolution and in a sense this book is dedicated to their courage.
If you see a fugitive's picture on the post office wall take it home for a souvenir. But watch
out, because this is illegal. Soon the FBI will be printing all our posters for free. Right on,
FBI! Print up wanted posters of the war criminals in Washington and undercover agents (be
absolutely sure) and put them up instead. Since the folks underground move freely among
us, we must be totally cool if by chance we recognize a fugitive through their disguise. If
they deem it necessary to contact you, they will make the first move. If you are very active
in the aboveground movement, chances are you are being watched or tapped and it would
be foolhardy to make contact. The underground would be meaningless without the building
of a massive community with corresponding political goals. People above ground
demonstrate their love for fugitives by continuing and intensifying their own commitment.
If the FBI or local subversive squad of the police department is asking a lot of questions
about certain fugitives, get the word out. Call your underground paper or make the
announcement at large movement gatherings or music festivals; the grapevine will pass
information on to those that need to know.
If you're forced to go underground, don't think you need to link up with the more well-known
groups such as the Weathermen. If you go under with some close friends, stick together if
it's possible. Build contacts with aboveground people that are not that well known to the
authorities and can be totally trusted.
You should change the location in which you operate and move to a place where the heat on
yon won't be as heavy. A good disguise should be worked out. The more information the
authorities have on you and the heavier the charges determine how complete your disguise
should be. There are some good tips in the books on make-up listed in the Appendix. Only in
rare cases is it necessary to abandon the outward appearance of belonging to the youth
culture. In fact, even J. Edgar Freako admits that our culture is our chief defense. To
infiltrate the youth culture means becoming one of us. For an FBI agent to learn an
ideological cover is a highly disciplined organization is relatively easy. To penetrate the
culture means changing the way they live. The typical agent would stand out like Jimmy
Stewart in a tribe of Apaches.
In the usual case the authorities do not look for a fugitive in the sense of carrying on a
massive manhunt. Generally, people are caught for breaking some minor offense and during
the routine arrest procedure, their fingerprints give them away. Thus for a fugitive having
good identification papers being careful about violations such as speeding or loitering, and
not carrying weapons or bombing manuals become an important part of the security. It is
also a good idea to have at least a hundred dollars cash on you at all times. Often even if
you are arrested you can bail yourself out and split long before the fingerprints or other
identification checks are completed.
If by some chance you are placed on the "10 Most Wanted List" that is a signal that the
FBI are indeed conducting a manhunt. It is also the hint that they have uncovered some
clues and feel confident they can nab you soon. The List is a public relations gimmick that
Hooper, or whatever his name is, dreamed up to show the FBI as super sleuths, and
compliment the bullshit image of them that Hollywood lays down. Most FBI agents are
southerners who majored in accounting or some other creative field. When you are placed
on the List, go deeper underground. It may become necessary to curtail your activities for
a while. The manhunt lasts only as long as you are newsworthy since the FBI is very media
conscious. Change your disguise, identification and narrow your circle of contacts. In a few
months, when the heat is off, you'll be able to be more active, but for the time, sit tight.
IDENTIFICATION PAPERS
An amateur photographer or commercial artist with good processing equipment can make
passable phony identification papers. Using a real I.D. card, mask out the name, address,
and signature with thin strips of paper the same color as the card itself. Do a neat gluing
job. Next, photograph the card using bright overhead lighting to avoid shadows, or xerox it.
Use a paper of a color and weight as close to the real thing as you can get. If you use phony
state and city papers such as birth certificate or driver's license, choose a state that is far
away from the area in which you are located. Have a complete understanding of all the
information you are forging. Dates, cities, birthdays and other data are often part of a
coding system. Most are easy to figure out simply by studying a few similar authentic
cards.
Almost all I.D. cards use one or another IBM Selectric type to fill in the individual's papers.
You can buy the exact model used by federal and state agencies for less than $20.00 and
install the ball in 5 seconds on any Selectric machine. When you finish the typing operation,
sign your new name and trim the card to the size you want. Rub some dirt on the card and
bend it a little to eliminate its newness.
Another method is to obtain a set of papers from a close friend of similar characteristics.
Your friend can replace the originals without too much trouble. In both cases it might be
advisable to get authentic papers using the phonies you have in your possession. In some
states getting a license or voting registration card is very easy. Library cards and other
supplementary I.D.'s are simple to get. A passport should not be attempted until you
definitely have made up your mind to split the country. That way agencies have less time to
check the information and you can decide on the disguise to be used for the picture.
Unless you expect to get hotter than you are right now, in which case, get it now.
It is wise to have two sets of identification to be on the safe side but never have both in
your possession at the same time. If you sense the authorities are close to mailing you and
choose to go underground, prepare all the identification papers well in advance and store
them in a secure place. Inform no one of your possible new identity.
Before you start passing phony I.D.'s to cops, banks and passport offices, you should have
experience with lesser targets so you feel comfortable using them. There are stiff penalties
for this if you get caught. A few better methods than the ones listed above exist, but we
feel they should not be made this public. With a little imagination you'll have no trouble.
Dig!
COMMUNICATION
Living underground, like exile, can be extremely lonely, especially during the initial
adjustment period when you have to reshuffle your living habits. Psychologically it becomes
necessary to maintain a few close contacts with other fugitives or folks aboveground. This is
also necessary if you plan to continue waging revolutionary struggle. This means
communication. If you contact persons or arrange for them to contact you, be super cool.
Don't rush into meetings. Stay OFF the phone! If you must, use pay phones. Have the
contact person go to a prescribed booth at prescribed time. Knowing the phone number
beforehand, you can call from another pay phone. The pay phone system is superior to
debugging devices and voice scramblers. Even so, some pay phones, that local police
suspect bookies use, are monitored.
Keep your calls short and disguise your voice a bit. If you are a contact and the call does
not come as scheduled, don't panic. Perhaps the booth at the other end is occupied or the
phone you are on is out of order. In New York, the latter is usually true. Wait a reasonable
length of time and then go about your business. Another contact will be made. Personal
rendezvous should take place at places that are not movement hangouts or heavy pig
scenes. Intermediaries should be used to see if anyone was followed. Just groove on a few
good spy flicks and you'll figure it all out.
Communicating to masses of people above ground is very important. It drives the MAN
berserk and gives hope to comrades in the struggle. The most important message is that
you are alive, in good spirits and carrying on the struggle. The communications of the
Weathermen are brilliantly conceived. Develop a mailing list that you keep well hidden in
case of a bust. You can devise a system of mailing stuff in envelopes (careful of fingerprints)
inside larger envelopes to a trusted contact who will mail the items from another location
to further camouflage your area of operation. A host of communication devices are
available besides handwritten notes and typed communications. Tape recorders are
excellent but better still are video-tape cassette machines. You can wear masks, do all
kinds of weird theatrical stuff and send the tapes to television stations. At times you might
want to risk being interviewed by a newsman, but this can be very dangerous unless you
conceive a super plan and have some degree of trust in the word of the journalist. Don't
forget a grand jury could be waiting for him with a six months contempt or perjury charge
when he admits contact and does not answer their questions.
The only other advice is to dress warm in the winter and cool in the summer, stay high and.
LIBERATION!
fuck new york
HOUSING
You can always sleep up in Central Park during the daytime, although the muggers come
out to play at night. Free night crashing can be found in the waiting room of the
Pennsylvania Railroad station, 34th St. and 7th Ave. The cops will leave you alone until
about 7:00 AM when they kick you out. You can put your rucksack in a locker for twenty-five
cents to avoid it being ripped-off.
The Boys Emergency Shelter, 69 St. Marks Place, (777-1234) provides free room and
board for males 16-20 years of age. The Living Room can be found on the same block. It's a
heavy religious scene, but they will help with room and board. Their hours are 6:30 PM to
2:00 AM, phone 982-5988. Also on the Lower East Side is the Macauley Mission at 90
Lafayette St.
On the West Side, there's a poet named Delworth at 125 Sullivan St. that houses kids if
he's got room. The Judson Memorial Church, Washington Square South always has one or
more housing programs going. If you're really hard up, try the Stranded Youth Program,
111 W. 31st St. (554-8897). Teenagers 16-20 are sent home; if you don't want to go back
but need room and board, give them phony identification.
The Graymoor Monastery (CA 6-2388) offers free room and board for young people in the
country. They provide transportation.
FOOD
Hunt's Point Market, Hunt's Point Ave. and 138th St. in the Bronx will lay enough fruit and
vegetables on your family to last a week or more. Lettuce, squash, carrots, cantaloupe,
grapefruit, even artichokes and mushrooms all crated. You'll need a car or truck and they
only give stuff away in the early morning. Just tell them you're doing a free food thing and
it's yours. Outasight!
The large slaughterhouse area is in the far West Village, west of Hudson and south of 14th
St. Get a letter from a clergyman saying you need meat for a church-sponsored meal.
The fish market is located on Fulton and South Streets under the East River Drive overpass
in lower Manhattan. You can always manage to find some sympathetic fisherman early in
the morning who will lay as much fish on you as you can cart away.
If you pick up on a car, take a trip to Long Island City. There you will find the Gordon Baking
Company at 42-25 21st, Pepsi Cola at 4602 Fifth Ave., Borden Company at 35-10 Steinway
St. and Dannon Yogurt at 22-11 38th Ave. All four places give out samples for free if you
call or write ahead and explain how it's for a block party.
Along 2nd and 3rd Avenues on the upper east side are a host of swank bars with free
hors-d'oeuvres beginning at five. All Longchamps are good, as is Max's Kansas City.
For real class, check the back pages of the New York Times for ocean cruises and those
swinging bon voyage parties. If you look kind of straight or want to disguise yourself and see
the other half at it, sneak into conventions for drinks, snacks and all kinds of free samples.
Call the New York Convention Bureau, 90 E. 42nd St. MU 7-1300 for info. You can also get
free tickets to theater events here at 9:00 AM on weekdays.
Other free meals can be gotten at the various missions.
Bowery Mission - 227 Bowery (674-3456). Pray and eat from 4:00 to 6:00 PM only.
Heavy religious orientation.
Catholic Worker - 36 E. First St. Soup line from 10:00 to 11:00 AM. Clothes for
women on Thursday from 12:00 to 2:00 PM. Clothes for men after 2:00 PM weekdays.
Sometimes lodging.
Holy Name Center for Homeless Men - 18 Bleeker St. (CA 6-5848 or CA 6-2338)
Clothes and morning showers from 7:00 to 11:00 AM.
Macauley Mission - 90 Lafayette St. (CA 6-6214) Free room and board. Free food
Saturdays at 5:00 PM. Sometimes free clothes.
Moravian Church - 154 Lexington Ave. (MU 3-4219 or 533-3737) Free spaghetti
dinner on Tuesday at 1:00 PM.
Quakers - 328 E. 15th St. Meals at 6:00 PM Tuesdays.
Wayward - 287 Mercer St. Free meals nightly.
The International Society For Krishna Consciousness is located at 41 Second Ave. Every
morning at 7:00 AM a delicious cereal breakfast is served free along with chanting and
dancing. Also at noon, more food and chanting and on Monday, Wednesday and Friday at
7:00 PM, again food and chanting. Then it's all day Sunday in Central Park Sheepmeadow
(generally) for still more chanting (sans food). Hari Krishna is the freest high going if you
can get into it and dig cereal and of course, more chanting.
The Paradox Restaurant, at 64 E. 7th St. is a neat cheap health joint that will give you a
free meal if you help peel shrimp or do the dishes.
MEDICAL CARE
The latest dope on family planning and the new abortion law can be obtained from Planned
Parenthood, 300 Park Ave. (777-2015). They provide a free directory on city-wide services
in this area. The Black Panther Free Health Clinic on 180 Sutter Ave. in Brooklyn is radical
medicine in action. If you ripped off this book, why not send them or another group
mentioned in this book a check so they can continue serving the people. Two fantastic
clinics on the Lower East Side are the St. Marks People's Clinic at 44 St. Marks Place
(533-9500), open weekdays 6-10 PM and NENA at 290 E. Third St. (677-5040) which also
functions as a switchboard for the area.
The Beth Israel Teenage Clinic at 17th St. and 1st Ave. 673-3000 ext. 2424) services young
people. Millie at the Village Project, 88 2nd Ave. can arrange for free glasses. The New York
University Dental Clinic, 421 First Ave. will give you the cheapest dental care in Gotham.
Stuyvesant-Poly Clinic, 137 Second Ave. (674-0232) has an emergency day clinic with the
quickest service. Dial-a-freakout is 324-0707. Ambulance service is at 440-1234. You ought
to know the cops accompany ambulance calls. The following is a list of the New York City
Health Department Centers. They provide a number of free services including X-rays,
venereal examinations and treatment, shots for children's diseases, vaccinations, tetanus
shots and a host of other services.
Manhattan
Central Harlem-2238 Fifth Ave. AU 3-1900
East Harlem-158 E. 115th St. TR 6-0300
Lower East Side-341 E. 25th St. MU 9-6353
Manhattanville-21 Old Broadway MO 5-5900
Morningside-264 W. 118th St. UN6-2500
Washington Heights-600 W. 168th St. WA 7-6300
Bronx
Morrisania- 1309 Fulton St. WY 2-4200
Mott Haven-349 E. 140th St. MO 9-6010
Tremont-Fordham-1826 Arthur Ave. LU 3-5500
Westchester-Pelham-2527 Glebe Ave. SY 2-0100
Brooklyn
Bedford-485 Throop Ave. GL 2-7880
Brownsville-259 Briston St. HY 8-6742
Bushwick-335 Central Ave. HI 3-5000
Crown Heights-1218 Prospect Place SL 6-8902
Flatbush-Gravesend-1601 Ave. S NI 5-8280
Ft. Greene-295 Flatbush Ave. Ext. 643-8934
Red Hook-Gowanus-250 Baltic St. 643-5687
Sunset Park-514 49th St. GE 6-2800
Williamsburg-Greenpoint-151 Mayier St. EV 8-3714
Queens
Astoria-Maspeth-12-1631st Ave. L.I.C. AS 8-5520
Corona-Flushing-34-33 Junction Blvd., Jackson Heights HI 6-3570
Jamaica-90-37 Parsons Blvd. OL 8-6600
Rockaway-67-10 Rockaway Beach Blvd.; Arvenne NE 4-7700
Richmond-51 Stuyvesant Place SA 7-6000
The key to getting overall medical care for free is to pick up on a Medicaid card. You can
apply at any metropolitan hospital. After filling out a long form and waiting three weeks
you'll get your card in the mail. Have a good story when interviewed about why you're not
working or only making under $2900 a year. There is an age limit in that only folks over 21
can qualify, but the rule is liberally enforced and younger people can get the card with the
right hardship story.
LEGAL AID
The Lawyer's Commune is a group of revolutionary young lawyers pledged to make a limited
income and handle the toughest political cases. They handle all our cases. Find them at
640 Broadway on the fifth floor (677-1552).
New York radicals are fortunate in having a number of good legal assistance agencies. One
of the following is bound to be able to help you out of a jam.
Emergency Civil Liberties Committee-25 E. 26th St. 683-8120 (civil liberties)
Legal Aid Society-100 Centre St. BE 3-0250 (criminal matters)
Mobilization for Youth Legal Services-320 E. Third St. 777-5250 (all types of services)
National Lawyers Guild-5 Beekman St. 277-0385 or 227-1078 (political)
New York Civil Liberties Union-156 Fifth Ave. 929-6076 (civil liberties)
New York University Law Center Office-249 Sullivan St. GR 3-1896 (civil matters)
DRAFT COUNSELING
Bronx
Claremont Neighborhood Center - 169th St. and Washington Ave. 588-1000. Hours
are from 2:00 to 10:00 weekdays.
Brooklyn
Black Anti-Draft Union - 448 Nostrand Ave.
Church of St. John the Evangelist - 195 Mayier St. 387-8721
Society for Ethical Culture - 53 Prospect Park West SO 8-2972
Manhattan
American Friends Service Committee - 15 Rutherford Place 777-4600
Chelsea Draft Information - 346 W. 20th St. WA 9-2391
Community Free Draft Counseling Center - 470 Amsterdam Ave. 787-8500
Greenwich Village Peace Center - 137 W. Fourth St. 533-5120
Harlem Unemployment Center - 2035 Fifth Ave. 831-6591
LEMPA - 105 Avenue B 477-9749
New York Civil Liberties Union - 156 Fifth Ave. 675-5990
New York Workshop in Nonviolence - 339 Lafayette St. 227-0973
Resistance - 339 Lafayette St. 674-9060
Union Theological Seminary - 606 W. 122nd St. MO 3-9090
War Resisters League - 339 Lafayette St. 228-0450
Westside Draft Information - 602 Columbus Ave. (89th St.) 874-7330
Woman's Strike for Peace - 799 Broadway 254-1925
PLAY
Botanical Gardens
Conservatory Gardens - Central Park, 105th St. and Fifth Ave. Seasonal display. LE
4-4938
Brooklyn Botanical Gardens - Flatbush and Washington Aves. Rose Oriental Garden,
Rose Garden, Native Wild Flower Garden, Rock Garden, Conservatory. Seasonal
display. MA 2-4433.
New York Botanical Gardens, Bronx Park, 200th St., east of Webster Ave. Gardens
and Conservatories. Seasonal displays. Parking fee: $1.00 on Saturday, Sunday and
holidays. Open: Grounds - 10:00 AM to dark, Greenhouses - 10:00 AM to 4:00 PM.
933-9400.
Queens Botanical Gardens, 43-50 Main St., between Dahilia and Elder Aves., Flushing.
TU 6-3800.
These gardens are really beautiful places to fuck around for a day. The best ones are the
Bronx and Brooklyn. Bring a picnic, a few friends, some grass, and plant the seeds. It's all
free.
Zoos
Central Park - 64th St. and Fifth Ave. Free. Open 11 AM to 5 PM.
Children's Zoo - 64th St. and Fifth Ave. Open 10 AM to 5 PM. Admission is 10 cents.
No tickets are sold after 4:30 PM. Free story-telling sessions with motion pictures or
color slides at 3:30 PM, Mondays through Friday.
Bronx Park - Fordham Road and Southern Blvd. WE 3-1500. Open daily from 10 AM to
5 PM. November, December, January closes at 4:30 PM. Admission on Tuesdays,
Wednesdays and Thursdays is 25 cents for adults and children over 5 years. Free on
other days and all legal holidays. Children's Zoo closes November 1st.
Barrett Park Zoo - in Richmond, Broadway, Glenwood Place and Clove Road. Open
daily 10 AM to 5 PM. GI 2-3100.
Unlike the barbaric cages in Central Park, the 18-acre Flushing Meadow Zoo in Queens has
been designed so that visitors can view the animals and buds in their natural surroundings,
without bars. Take the Main Street Flushing Line Subway (train number 7) from Times
Square to 111th St. in Queens. Bronx Zoo which is the largest in the United States and
Flushing Meadow Zoo are fantastic.
Beaches
Brooklyn - Coney Island Beach and Boardwalk ES 2-1670
Manhattan Beach - Oriental Blvd., from Ocean Ave. to Makenzie St. DE 26794
Bronx - Pelham Bay Park - Orchard Beach and Boardwalk TI 5-1828
Queens - Jacob Riis Park - Jamaica Bay, Beach 149 to Beach 169 GR 4-4600
Rockaway Beach - First St. to 149th St. GR 4-3470
Richmond - Great Kills Park - Hylan Blvd., Great Kills EL 1-1977
South Beach and Boardwalk - Ft. Wadsworth to Miller Field, New Dorp YU 7-0709
Wolfs Pond Park - Holten and Cornelia Avenues, Princes Bay YU 4-0360
Go to the beach on weekdays as it usually is very crowded on the weekends. The best beach
by far is Rockaway. lt has pretty good waves.
Swimming Pools MANHATTAN - OUTDOOR POOLS
Carmine Street Pool - Clarkson St. and Seventh Ave. WA 4-4246
Colonial Pool - Bradhurst Ave. and W. 145th St. WA 6-8109
East 23rd Street Pool - Asser Levy Place MU 5-1026
Hamilton Fish Pool - E. Houston and Sheriff Streets GR 7-3911
Highbridge Pool - Amsterdam Ave. and W. 173rd St. WA 3-2360
John Jay Pool - 77th St., east of York Ave. at Cherokee Place. RE 7-2458
Lasker Memorial Pool - Central Park, 110th St. and Lenox Ave. 348-6297
Thomas Jefferson Pool - 111th St. and First Ave. LE 4-0198
West 59th Street Pool - between West End and Amsterdam Avenues. CI 5-8519
MANHATTAN - INDOOR POOLS
Baruch Pool - Rivington St. and Baruch Place GR 3-6950
East 54th Street Pool - 342 E. 54th St. and Second Ave. PL 8-3147
Rutgers Place Pool - 5 Rutgers Place GR 3-6567
West 28th Street Pool - 407 W. 28th St. CH 4-1896
West 134th Street Pool - 35 W. 134th St. AU 3-4612
BROOKLYN - OUTDOOR POOLS
Betsy Head Pool - Hopkinson and Dumont Avenues DI 2-2977
McCarren Pool - Driggs Ave. and Lorimer St. EV 8-2367
Red Hook Pool - Bay and Henry Streets TR 5-3855
Sunset Pool - Seventh Ave. and 43rd St. GE 5-2627
BROOKLYN = INDOOR POOLS
Brownsville Recreation Center - Linden Blvd. and Christopher Ave. HY 8-1121
Metropolitan Avenue Pool - Bedford Ave., no phone; call SO 8-2300
St. John's Recreation Center - Prospect Place and Schenectady Avenues HY 3-3948
BRONX OUTDOOR POOLS
Crotona Pool - E. 173rd St. and Fulton Ave. LU 3-3910
BRONX - INDOOR POOLS
St. Mary's Recreation Center Pool - St. Ann's Ave. and E. 145th St. CY 2-7254
QUEENS - OUTDOOR POOLS
Astoria Pool - 19th St. and 23rd Drive, Astoria AS 8-5261
Flushing Meadow Amphitheatre - Long Island Expressway and Grand Central Parkway,
Swimming pool and diving pool. 699-4228.
RICHMOND - OUTDOOR POOLS
Faber Pool - Faber St. and Richmond Terrace GI 2-1524
Lyons Pool - Victory Blvd. and Murray Hulbert Ave. GI 7-6650
The pools are generally crowded but on a warm summer day you don't care. The pools are
open on weekdays from 10 AM to 12:30 PM. There is a free period for children 14 years of
age and under. No adults are admitted to the pool areas during this free period. After 1
PM on weekdays and all day on Saturdays, Sundays and holidays there is a 15 cents charge
for children under 14 years and a 35 cents charge for children over 14 years.
Free Cricket Matches
At both Van Cortland Park in the Bronx and Walker Park on Staten Island every Sunday
afternoon there are free cricket matches. Get schedule from British Travel Association, 43
W. 61st St. At Walker Park, free tea and crumpets are served during intermission. I say!
Free Park Events
All kinds of activities in the Parks are free. Call 755-4100 for a recorded announcement of
the week's events. The freak center is the rowing pond around 70th St. and Bethesda
Fountain around 72nd St. in Central Park, although it floats. Busts are non-existent. A
complete list of all recreational facilities can be obtained by calling the New York City
Department of Parks.
Museums
American Academy of Arts and Letters, American Numismatic Society, and the
American Geographical Society are all located at Broadway and 155th St.
Asia House Gallery - 112 E. 64th St. Art objects from the Far East.
Brooklyn Museum - Eastern Parkway and Washington Ave. Egyptian stuff best in the
world outside Egypt. Take IRT (Broadway line) express train to Brooklyn Museum
station. (Don't miss the Gardens in back.)
The Cloisters - Weekdays 10 AM to 5 PM, Sundays 1 PM to 6 PM. Take IND Eighth
Avenue express (A train) at 190th Str. station and walk a few blocks. The number 4
Fifth Avenue bus also goes all the way up and it's a pleasant ride. One of the best trip
places in medieval setting.
Frick Museum - 1 E. 70th St. Great when you're stoned. Closed Mondays.
The Hispanic Society of America - Broadway between 15th and 16th Streets. The best
Spanish art collection in the city.
Marine Museum of the Seaman's Church - 25 South St. All kinds of model ships and
sea stuff. Also the Seaport Museum on 16 Fulton St.
Metropolitan Museum - 5th Ave. and 82nd St.
Museum of the American Indian - Broadway at 155th St. Largest Indian museum in
the world. Open Tuesday to Sunday 1 to 5 PM. Take IRT (Broadway line) local to 157th
St. station.
Museum of the City of New York - 103rd St. and 5th Ave. LE 4-1672
Museum of Modern Art - 11 W. 53rd St. CI 5-3200. Monday is free.
Museum of Natural History - Central Park West and 79th St. Great dinosaurs and
other stuff. Weekdays 10-5 PM, Sunday 1-5 PM.
Museum of the Performing Arts - Lincoln Center, Amsterdam Ave. and 65th St.
799-2200
New York Historical Society - 77th St. and Central Park West. TR 3-3400
Chase Manhattan Museum of Money - 1256 6th Ave. All banks, especially Chase
Manhattan ones are museums when you get right down to it. Liberate them!
Music
Summer Musical Festival in Central Park. About the closest you can come to good
free rock music. There are concerts every Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday
in the months of July and August. It only costs $1.00 or $2.00, and everybody in the
music world plays at least once. The concerts are held at the Wollman Ice Skating
Ring. Occasionally there are free rock concerts in Central Park.
The Greenwich House of Music located at 46 Barrow St. in the West Village puts on
free concerts and recitals every Friday at 8:30 PM. For a complete schedule send a
stamped, self-addressed envelope.
The Frick Museum, 1 E. 70th St., BU 8-0700, has concerts every Sunday afternoon.
The best of the classical offerings. You must hassle a little. Send a self-addressed
stamped envelope that will arrive on Monday before the date you wish to go. One
letter, one ticket. The Donnell Library, 20 W. 53rd St. also presents free classical
music. The schedule is found in "Calendar of Events" at any library.
The Juilliard School presents a variety of free stuff: orchestral, opera, dance, chamber
music, string quartets and soloists. Performances take place most Friday evenings at
8:30 PM, from November through May.
The Museum of the City of New York, 5th Ave. between 103rd St. and 104th St. every
Sunday at 2:30 PM, October through April. Phone first: LE 4-1672. Classical.
New York Historical Society, from December through April, has glee clubs, string
groups, and classical singers performing on Sundays at 2:30 PM., 170 Central Park
West (near 77th St.), Phone TR 3-3400 for schedule.
Brooklyn Museum has classical concerts by assorted soloists and groups and are
presented free every Sunday from October through June at 2 PM, Eastern Parkway
and Washington Ave. NE 8-5000.
Television Shows
You can sometimes pick up tickets to television shows at the New York Convention and
Visitors Bureau, 90 E. 42nd St. For the bigger and better shows you have to write direct to
the studios. If you do write, do it as far in advance as possible. CBS, 51 W. 52nd St., asks
you to write two months in advance. Sometimes you can get last-minute tickets for the Ed
Sullivan Theater, 1697 Broadway. For NBC shows, write NBC Ticket Division, 30 Rockefeller
Plaza. There is also a ticket desk on the NBC Mezzanine of 30 Rockefeller Plaza where
tickets are given out for the day shows on a first-come-first-served basis. It's open Monday
through Friday from 9-5. ABC, 1330 Sixth Ave. ask you to write two to three weeks in
advance for tickets. You can get tickets up to the day of the show by calling in or visiting
the ticket office of ABC, 79 W. 66th St. or 1330 6th Ave. (LT 1-7777). Metromedia also
gives out free tickets to their shows and you can get them by writing to WNEW-TV, 205 E.
67th St. (LE 5-1000).
Theater
The Dramatic Workshop, Studio number 808, Carnegie Hall Building, 881 7th Ave. at
56th St. Free on Friday, Saturday and Sunday at 8:15 PM. JU 6-4800 for information.
New York Shakespeare Festival, Delacourte Theater, Central Park. Every night except
Monday. Performance begins at 8:00 PM, but get there before 6:00 PM to be assured
of tickets.
Pageant Players, the Sixth Street Theater Group and other street theater groups
perform on street corners and in parks. Free theater is also provided at the United
Nations Building and the Stock Exchange on Wall Street. If you enjoy seventeenth
century comedy.
The Equity Library Theatre gives performances of old Broadway hits at the Masters
Institute, 103rd St. and Riverside Drive. They perform Tuesday through Sunday at
8:30 PM and Sunday at 2:30 PM. Free tickets are not always available so phone ahead
(MO 3-2038) for reservations. No shows during the summer.
The Museum of Performing Arts, 111 Amsterdam Ave. offers plays, dance programs
and music. Shows start at 6:30 PM. Tickets are handed out at 4:00 PM. Saturday
shows start at 2:30 PM. You can write for a calendar of events to 1865 Broadway or
call 799-2200.
Movies
The New York Historical Society, Central Park West and 77th St. presents Hollywood
movies every Saturday afternoon. TR 3-3400 for a schedule.
At the Metropolitan Museum, Fifth Ave. and 82nd St., you can see art films every
Monday at 3:00 PM. TR 9-5500 for a schedule.
New York University has a very good free movie program as well as poetry, lectures,
and theatre presentations. Call the Program Director's Office 598-2026 for a
schedule.
The Film Library in the Donnell Library, 20 W. 53rd St., 790-6463, has a wide variety
of films which may be borrowed free of charge. The Library system also presents film
programs throughout the year. Pick up a Calendar of Events which lists the free
showings at all the branches.
The Museum of Modern Art is free every Monday and they have a free film showing at
2 and 5 PM. Get a schedule at the Museum. They have the largest movie collection in
the world.
Museum of Natural History, Central Park West between 77th and 81st St. (TR
3-1300), presents travel and anthropological films on Wednesday and Saturday
afternoons at 2:00 sharp, from October through May.
Every movie that plays in New York has a series of screenings for critics, film buyers and
friends of the folks that made it. Look in the Yellow Pages under Motion Picture Studios
and Motion Picture Screening Rooms. Once you get the feel of it, you'll quickly learn who
shows what, where and when. They always let you in free and if not give some gull story. (See
Free Entertainment section). If you see previews in a theater or notice a publicity build-up
in the newspapers, the movie is being screened at one or more of the rooms.
INFORMATION
Daily News-220 E. 42nd St., will answer any questions you put to them. Well almost!
General information: 883-1122
Sports: 883-1133
Travel: 883-1144
Weather: 883-1155
For the latest news, call the wire services:
AP is PL 7-1312, UPI is
MU 2-0400.
The New York Times Research Bureau, 229 W. 43rd St., 556-1651, will research news
questions that pertain to the past three months. Liberation News Service at 160
Claremont Ave., will give you up-to-the-minute coverage of radical news. Call 749-2200.
UNDERGROUND PAPERS
East Village Other-20 E. 12th St., 255-2130
Liberation-339 Lafayette St., 674-0050
Other Scenes-Box 8, Village Station, 242-3888
Rat-241 E. 14th St., 228-4460
Win-339 Lafayette St., 674-0050
For others, call Underground Press Syndicate, Box 26, Village Station, 691-6073
MISCELLANEOUS
Dial-A-Beating-911
Dial-a-Demonstration 924-6315
Dial-a-Satellite-TR 3-0404
Time-NERVOUS
Weather-WE 6-1212.
The Switchboard-989-0720, at the Alternate U, is open 6 PM to 3 AM.
THE SUBWAY SYSTEM
The first thing to do is get familiar with the geography of stops you use most frequently.
Locate the token cage. Check to see whether the exits are within easy view of the teller, off
to the side, or blocked from view by concrete pole-supporters. Next learn the type of
turnstile in use. Follow the hints laid down in the Free Transportation section.
The rush hours are always the easiest times. Just go through the exits as people push open
the door. Also at crowded hours, people go single file past the turnstiles, one after another
in a steady stream. Get in line and go under. The people will block you from view and won't
do anything. Even a cop won't give you much hassle. Some subway stations have concrete
supports that block the teller's view. Where these exist, slip through the exit nearest the
pole or slide by the turnstile.
Turnstile jumping is such a skill, it's going to be added to the Olympics. There are three
basic styles common to New York and most cities and each needs a slightly different
approach.
The Old Wooden Cranker-(Traditional) You have to go under or sail over this type. Going
under is a smoother trip. Going over is trickier since you need both hands free to hurdle
and it's a quicker, more noticeable motion.
New-Aluminum-Bar-Turnstiles-Which-Turn-Both-Ways-For-Exit-and- Entrance-Approach it
with confidence. Pretend you're putting in a token with your right hand and pull the bar
toward you one third of the way with your left hand. Go through the space left between the
bars and the barrier. Not for heavyweights!
New-Aluminum-Bar-Turnstiles-Which-Can-Be- Used-Only-For-Entrance-They won't pull
towards you, and so, you must go either under or over them.
NOTE: There is no way to tell a New-Aluminum-Bar-Turnstile-Which-Turns-Both--
Ways-For-Exit-and-Entrance from a New-Aluminum-Bar-Turnstile-Which-
Can-Be-Used-Only-For-Entrance unless there is a sign. You have to try it first. Therefore, it
is important to remember which kind is in use at your local station so your technique will
be smooth. Once you're through, remember in your mind you've paid. Ignore everybody who
tries to stop you or tell you different. If someone shouts just keep on truckin' on toward
your track. Don't stop or run. Insist you are right if you ever get caught. We have been
doing it for years, got caught twice and let go both tunes when other passengers insisted
we paid. Everybody hates the subways, even the tellers.
FREEBIES
Clothing Repairs
All Wallach stores feature a service that includes sewing on buttons, free shoe horns, and
shoe laces, mending pants pockets and linings, punching extra holes in belts, and a number
of other free services.
Furniture
By far the best place to get free furniture in New York is on the street. Once a week in
every district, the Sanitation Department makes bulk pick-ups. The night before, residents
put out all kinds of stuff on the street. For the best selection try the West Village on
Monday nights, and the East Seventies on Tuesday nights. On Wednesday night there are
fantastic pick-ups on 35th St. in-back of Macy's. Move quickly though, the guards get
pissed off easily; the truckers couldn't care less. This street method can furnish your whole
pad. Beds, desks, bureaus, lamps, bookcases, chairs, and tables. It's all a matter of
transportation. If you don't have access to a car or truck, it's worth it to rent a station
wagon and make pick-ups.
Ghosts
If you would like to meet a real ghost, write Hans Holtzer, c/o New York Committee for
Investigation for Paranormal Research, 140 Riverside Drive, New York, NY. He'll put you in
touch for free.
Free Lessons
Lessons in a variety of skills such as plumbing, electricity, jewelry-making, construction and
woodworking are provided by the Mechanics Institute, 20 W. 44th St. Call or write them
well in advance for a schedule. You must sign up early for lessons as they try to maintain
small courses. MU 7-4279.
Poems
are free. Are you a poem or are you a prose?
Liberated Churches
Saint Mark's in the Bowery, Second Ave. and 10th ST. (674- 6377
Washington Square Methodist Church, 133 W. Fourth St.,
Greenwich Village (777-2528); Judson Memorial Church, Washington Square South
(725-9211).
Flowers
At about 9:30 AM, free flowers in the Flower District on Sixth Ave. between 22nd St. and
23rd St. Once in a while, you can find a potted tree that's been thrown out because it's
slightly damaged.
The Staten Island Ferry-Not free, but a nickel each way for a five mile ocean voyage around
the southern tip of Manhattan is worth it. Take IRT (Broadway line) to South Ferry, local
only. Ferry leaves every half-hour day and night.
Drugs
In the area along Central Park West in the Seventies and Eighties are located many
doctor's offices. Daily they throw out piles of drug samples. If you know what you're looking
for, search this area.
Books
You can always use the library. The main branch is on Fifth Ave. and 42nd St. The Public
Library prints a leaflet entitled "It's Your Library" which lists all the 168 branches and
special services the library provides. You can pick it up at your nearest branch. They also
publish a calendar of events every two weeks which is available free. If you have any
questions call 791-6161.
You can get free posters, literature and books from the various missions to the United
Nations located on the East Side near the UN Building. The Cuban Mission, 67th St., will
give you free copies of Granma, the Cuban newspaper, Man and Socialism in Cuba, by Che
Guevara and other literature.
Maps
A free subway map is available at any token booth. Good if you're new in the city and don't
know your way around.
Pets
ASPCA, 441 E. 92nd St. and York Ave., TR 6-7700. Dogs, cats, some birds and other pets.
Tell them you're from out of town if you want a dog and you will not have to pay the $5.00
license fee. Have them inspect and inoculate the pet; which they do free of charge. A place
to look for free pets is in the Village Voice under their column Free Pets.
Radio Free New York
WBAI FM, 99.5 on your dial. 30 E. 39th St. (OX 7-8506).
Free Schools
Alternative University, 69 W. 14th St. (989-0666). A good radical school offering
courses in karate, Mao, medical skills and other courses. They will send you a
catalogue listing current courses.
Bottega Artists Workshop, 1115 Quentin Road, Brooklyn, 336-3212 has art taught by
professionals for a free.
GENERAL SERVICES
Contact-220 E. Seventh St. Open 3 to 10 PM. Raps, contacts, mailing addresses,
counseling, sometimes food.
Traveler's Aid-204 E. 39th St. MU 4-5029
Village Project-88 Second Ave. Open 2 to 6 PM. Same as Contact.
fuck chicago
HOUSING
Contrary to rumors, none of us have ever been to Chicago. None-the-less, we have some
friends who have visited the area. In Chicago, everyone 17 or under must be off the streets
by 10:30 PM and by 11:30 PM on Fridays and Saturdays. Don't sleep in Lincoln Park during
political conventions, but other nights it's O.K. Wasn't it Hillel who asked, "Why is this night
different from all other nights?" And wasn't it Mayor Richard J. Daley who responded,
"Cause I say get your ass out of the park!"
The Chicago Seed (929-0133) will give you the best advice on crashing and the local heat
scene. Grace Lutheran Church, 555 W. Beldon St., and the Looking Glass at 1725 W. Wilson
also have crashing places or know where you can find free room and board.
You won't get hassled if you sack out in the Union Station on Adams Street just over the
bridge. There are loads of folks crashing in abandoned buildings along LaSalle and other
streets. Also the rooftops are cool. Stay off the streets though, unless you've got good
identification.
FOOD
SCLC (Operation Breadbasket) has a free breakfast program every morning Monday
through Friday from 7-10 AM at St. Anna Church, 55th St. and LaSalle St., and also at
Christ the King Lutheran Church located at 3700 Lake Park.
You can get free samples of cheese, meat, and coffee everyday at the Stop and Shop food
store located on Washington between Dearborn and State Streets. At the Treasure Island
grocery store located on Broadway, two blocks north of Belmont, free coffee and cookies
are offered for the people. Halloway House at 27 W. Randolph gives coupons good for
coffee. Also at the Guild Bookstore at 25 W. Jackson Blvd., and from the machines at the
4th through 14th floors of the Playboy Building.
There are real cheap restaurants. One is a truck-stop in Skokie called Karl's Cafe. It's just
north of Oakton on Skokie Highway. It's open until 6:00. You get a whole lot of food for
$1.00. Also, under the viaduct at Milwaukee and Damen is a small restaurant with Polish
food. You can get a great meal for $1.35. It's worth a visit. It closes early in the evening.
Another cheap restaurant is Paul and Ernie's on North Lincoln, just south of Wrightwood.
You can have a beef dinner for about 70 cents.
A good place to pick up free vegetables and fruits is at the wholesale market on Randolph
St. or S. Water St. on Friday afternoons. Many of the food factories such as Kraft Dairy
Products give away free samples and cases for "charity." Check them out.
It is possible to steal food from the 2nd floor Federal Building Cafeteria at Adams and
Dearborn and the National Cafeteria at Clark and Van Buren. These cafeterias usually have
long lines and you can eat while standing and just pay for the coffee.
If you have a place to cook and store food, there are a few places that have pretty cheap
food. The east gate of International Harvester, located at 1015 W. 120th St. is
unbelievable. Dig these bargains! 10 pounds of T-bone steaks (boxed) for $5.25 at midnight.
at 4 PM, the produce man brings a different combination of goods. A typical bill of fare
might include tomatoes, cucumbers, strawberries, etc. at $1.00 for 10 pounds of any item.
The produce might vary from day to day, but the prices stay the same. On Thursdays at
noon and 4 PM, the Lennell cookie man comes around. It's $1.25 per box. At 7 PM, the
sausage man arrives and the standard price is $2.00. The standard size is 3 to 5 pounds.
He has salami, liver sausage, polish sausage, and usually odd lunchmeat such as bologna or
summer sausage. All the food is sold out of trucks, and the prices might not be exact, but
they're pretty close.
Eggs are about 3 dozen for $2.00 on Randolph west of Halsted. Orange juice is pretty
cheap at the Del Farm on Broadway. Wonder Bread thrift store on Diversey; Butternut,
87th St. and Ridgeland and 1471 W. Wilson, and Silvercup, 55th and Federal, offer bread
and rolls at big discounts. The Cicero Bottling Company at 31st St. and 48 Court sell a
case of 12 quart bottles for $2.00. Mamas Cookies, 7400 S. Kastner give 5 pounds for
$1.50. At Burhops, State and Grand, you can get cheap 5-pound boxes of steak. The
Railroad Salvage around Madison and Halsted has dented cans (with stuff inside) for big
discounts. It is also a good place for paper products. Campbell Soup, 2250 W. 55th St.,
open Tuesday and Thursday, will give you cases free or at discounts if you tell them it's for
charity or look straight. Two good spots for all around shopping are the Hi-Lo on Lincoln,
north of Irving. There's lots of stuff for 10 cents. Marathon Products at Randolph and
Halsted is another good place.
If you can survive on just one meal a day, you're set. The city has just opened 14 free lunch
centers throughout the town. They are located at:
Antgeld Urban Progress Center-967 E. 132nd St.
Area II Multi-Service Center of DHR-1500 N. North Park
Division Street Urban Progress Center-1940 W. Division
DHR Woodlawn District Office-6317 S. Maryland
Englewood District Office of DHR-6003 S. Halsted
Garfeld Neighborhood Service Program-9 S. Kedzie
Halsted Urban Progress Center-1935 S. Halsted
Lawndale Urban Progress Center-3818 W. Roosevelt
Madden Park Fieldhouse-500 E. 37th St.
Martin Luther King Urban Progress Center-4741 S. King Drive
Montrose Urban Progress Center-901 W. Montrose
North Kenwood CCUO Office-4155 S. Lake Park
South Chicago Urban Progress Center-9231 S. Houston
Southern District DHR Office-2108 E. 71st St.
The free hot meals consist of meat, potatoes, a vegetable, dessert, fruit, and coffee or milk.
You have to give them a name and an address.
MEDICAL CARE
All three major universities have excellent clinics that do most kinds of medical work for
free. The University of Chicago maintains a clinic at 950 E. 59th St. The University of Illinois
has one located at 840 S. Wood. In addition to good medical care, Northwestern University
Clinic offers very cheap dental treatment. The clinic is at 303 E. Chicago. Call the main
switchboard of the schools and ask for the clinics to check out services and hours.
A V.D. clinic is open every weekday and late on Wednesdays at 27 E. 26th St. and N. North
Park. Chronic diseases are treated at 2974 N. Clybourn. Free chest X-rays are available at
City Hall downtown, everyday. For mental health problems, try the clinic at 1900 N.
Sedgwick (642-3531).
Drug education is offered by Earth Mother on Wednesdays at the Grace Church, 555 W.
Belden. Information and help with bad trips can be obtained through Just Us, 61 N.
Parkside (378-7618) or LSD Rescue Service, 7717 N. Sheridan (338-6750). Chicago has a
number of good clinics maintained by movement and community groups spread throughout
the city for the people that live in the area. The Black Panther Party runs the Spurgeon
"Jake" Winters Free People's Clinic at 3850 W. 16th St. (522-3220).
The Young Patriots Uptown Health Service located at 4408 N. Sheridan (334-8957) serves
the people in that community. The Young Lords maintain the Dr. E. Betances Free People's
Health Center at Peoples Church, 834 W. Armitage (549-8505). The Latin American
Defense Organization has a clinic on 2353 W. North Avenue, (276-0900). The growing
Student Health Organization administers a number of small clinics in various communities.
Call them at 493-2741 or drop into their office at 1613 E. 53rd St. At the Holy Covenant
Church, on Wilton and Diversey, you can get medical assistance at the Free People's Clinic
as well as help with legal, housing, family planning and nutrition problems. Call 348-6842. All
these clinics provide a variety of services and operate on different schedules. Call them
first to be sure they are open.
LEGAL AID
Chicago has a number of good law schools and you can often get some assistance or
referral by calling them and speaking to the editor of the law school paper. You can go to
the bathroom for free in the Julius J. Hoffman Room at Northwestern University Law
School.
The Law Student Commune, 357 E. Chicago, 649-8462, is a group of young radical lawyers
and law students trying to bring legal assistance into the streets. The People's Law Office
2156 N. Halsted, 929-1880 operates the same way. For community problems, call the
Lincoln Park Rights Center, 525-9775, or the Community Legal Counsel, 726-0157. The
ACLU maintains a large chapter in Chicago at 6 S. Clark, 236-5564, and handles cases
where civil liberties are affected.
DRAFT COUNSELING
American Friends Service Committee - 407 S. Dearborn St. 427-2533
Austin Draft Counseling Center - 5903 Fulton 626-9385
Chicago Area Draft Resisters (Cadre) - 519 W. North Ave. 664-6895
Chicago Circle Draft Information Organization University of Illinois, 317 Chicago Circle
Center 663-2557
Hyde Park Draft Information Center - Quaker House, 5615 S. Woodlawn Ave.
363-1248
Kennedy King Draft Counseling Center - 7047 S. Stewart - 488-0900, ext. 36
Lawndale Draft Counseling - 4049 W. 28th St. 277-3140
Loyola Draft Counseling Center 6525 N. Sheridan, 274-3000 ext. 378
Mandel Legal Aid Clinic - 6020 S. University Ave. 324-5181
Ravenswood Draft Counseling - Barry Memorial Methodist Church, 4754 N. Leavitt
784-3272
Roosevelt Selective Service Counseling Organization - Roosevelt University Student
Senate Office, Rm. 204, 430 S. Michigan Ave. 922-3580 ext. 334
South Side Draft Information (Mt. Carmel Book Dist.) 2355 W. 63rd St. 925-3686
Uptown Hull House Draft Information Service - 4520 N. Beacon St. 561-8033
Wellington Avenue Congregational Church Draft Counseling Center - 615 W. Wellington
Ave. 935-0642.
PLAY
Parks
Lincoln Park stretches along Lake Michigan in the Northern section of the city. It has a
Conservatory and Zoo, opened 9 AM to 5 PM. Just south of the zoo is the gathering place
for free rock concerts, be-ins, and the like. There is also a zoo in the Brookfield section at
8400 W. 31st St. The Morton Arboretium located on Route 53 in Lisle is open every day till
sunset. The Shedd Aquarium is located at 1200 South Lake Shore Drive at Roosevelt.
Music
The Auditorium and Opera House sometimes offers free concerts on Sunday and
weeknights. Hang around the lobby and claim there are tickets in your name at the box
office. Even if it's a pay concert you can generally bluff your way inside. The Center for New
Music, 2263 N. Lincoln, usually has free concerts on Sunday and Monday at 8 PM. WGLD is
the local underground station. The Universal Life Church Coffee House, 1049 W. Polk has
free rock and folk music on the weekends. Free City Music sponsors free rock concerts
during the spring and summer in Lincoln Park.
MUSEUMS
The Art Institute - Adams and Michigan. Opens daily at 10 AM. Great art museum.
Chicago Academy of Science-Lincoln Park at 2001 N. Clark. (LI 9-0606) Open daily
from 10 AM to 5 PM.
Field Museum of Natural History-Roosevelt Road at Lake Shore Drive. Time of opening
varies from day to day; call 922-9410. Thursday, Saturday and Sunday admission is
free.
Museum of Contemporary Art-237 E. Ontario (943-7755) Open daily.
Museum of Science and Industry-57th St. in the Hyde Park area. (MU 4-1414) Open
daily from 9 AM to 5 PM. Our all-time favorite museum.
The Oriental Institute-University of Chicago campus, 1155 E. 58th St. (643-0800)
Open daily, except Monday, from 10AM to 5 PM.
Poetry
The Other Door Coffee House, 3124 N. Broadway, features nightly poetry readings and
music. Call 348-8552. Cafe Pergolesi, 3404 N. Halsted, features poetry readings, baroque
music and an art gallery. There is no cover or minimum. Open 6 to 12 PM, and till 1:00 AM
on Saturday.
Theater
The Playhouse North, 315 W. North Ave. features free theater. For $1.00, you can see
various groups perform at the Harper Theater Coffee House at 5238 S. Harper. Second
City, l616 N. Wells, has free improvisations after their evening performances every evening
except Fridays. Free children's theater can be seen at La Dolores, 1980 North Orchard,
Mondays and Wednesdays at 1 PM. Call 664-2352.
Movies
The Biograph Theater, 2433 N. Lincoln Ave. shows double bills for $1.25 and has a
penny candy counter. John Dillinger got ambushed when he left the place. Free
Newsreel films can be seen Wednesdays at 8 PM at the Neighborhood Commons,
Wisconsin and Freemart. Newsreel, 2744 N. Lincoln (248-2018) provides movement
films for free or law cost to groups.
Alice's Revisited, 950 N. Wrightwood, is a restaurant that shows free movies. On
Fridays and Saturdays at 8 PM they have free folk-rock-blues music. Saturdays they
also have free children's theater. Tuesdays they have psychodrama, also for free. Call
528-4250 for more info.
INFORMATION
The Switchboard number is 281-7197.
Underground Papers
Rising Up Angry - 2261 N. Lincoln 472-1791
Second City - 2120 N. Halsted 549-8760
The Chicago Seed - 950 W. Wrightwood 929-0133
The Seed features a column called "Making It," which deals with survival in the Windy City. It
is probably the best of its type in the country.
The Black Panther Party office is located at 2350 W. Madison (243-8276).
COMMUNITY PRINTING
Agitprop - no office; phone 929-0133
Chicago Print Co-op. - 6710 N. Clark
J. S. Jordan Memorial Printing Co-op. - 6710 N. Clark
Omega Posters - 711 S. Dearborn
Red Star Press - 180 N. Wacher
SCHOOLS
The People's School, 4409 N. Sheridan (561-6737), offers free courses in many areas of
survival and radical politics. The White Panther Party, 787-1962, offers courses in street
fighting, history of American radicalism, and dialectic sexism.
FREEBIES
Clothes
The Concerned Citizens Survival Front, 2512 N. Lincoln Ave. has clothes. Try the dry
cleaners on Armitage east of Halsted along the south side of the street. They give away
unclaimed stuff. Also Brazil Cleaners at 3943 Indiana. The Eugene Blue Jean Store at 7017
Paulina has jeans, old army shirts and other items for less than a dollar.
Furniture
The Lake Shore Drive area on collection days has furniture. Call the bureau of Streets and
Sanitation for a collection schedule.
Free Store
At 727 S. Laflin, you'll find a genuine free store that gives away everything you can imagine.
It has a tendency to be a floating free store though.
Money
Pick up some underground papers at any of the offices listed and hawk them on the
streets. You can pull in $6-$10 an hour if you work at it.
fuck los angeles
HOUSING
There are several crash pads and communes that will put you up for a few nights. Call the
Free Clinic at 938-9141. Floor space is available at the Sans Souce Temple on S. Ardmore.
Women's Emergency Lodge at 912 W. 9th St. (627-5571) will put up women without a
place to stay or make referrals. Resistance (386-9645) and Green Power (HQ 9-5184) will
be helpful if you have to crash. Sleeping on the beaches is out, but the roofs are cool. The
Midnite Mission at 396 S. Los Angeles (624-9258) has room and board for some boarders.
The parks and streets are certain bust material. The L.A. pigs are matched in brutality only
by their fellow hoggers in Chicago and South Africa. Every L.A. cop is nine feet of solid
chrome. Bite his toes and down he goes.
FOOD
Green Power Feeds Millions is a unique organization serving the nets of people. They
provide food for festivals, cancers, demonstrations, be-ins, sit-ins and similar events for
free. In addition they supply a number of communes and serve food every Sunday in Griffith
Park, the central get-together spot in Los Angeles. Call them at HO 9-5184 or 938-9141
for information and also to offer your help.
Free vegetarian lunch can be found at the W. Hollywood Presbyterian Church at Sunset and
Martel (874-1816). For supper, try the Midnite Mission, 396 S. Los Angeles Street; God
Squas, 1412 N. Crescent Heights Blvd. (near Sunset), and His Place, Sunset and La
Cienega.
The Half-Price Bakery at Third and Hill St. gives away free bakery goods late at night and
you can always bum a meal in any Clifton's Cafeteria with a good story.
The Watts Trojan House is a free store that provides not only food, both clothing and a
variety of other items and service. They are located at 1822 E. 103rd St. The County
Welfare Department at 2707 S. Grand (near Adams Street) has a liberal food stamp
program (746-0522).
MEDICAL CARE
The Free Clinic at 115 N. Fairfax Ave. (938-9141) is very popular and provides a
number of services at various hours such as:
Job Co-ops--Monday thru Friday, 10:00-4:00 PM.
Medical--Monday thru Friday, 5:30-l0:00 PM. Saturday 12:30-5:00 PM.
Dental--Monday thru Thursday, 7-10 PM.
Counseling-Psychiatric, Monday thru Friday, 6-10 PM.
Legal Monday thru Friday, 7-10 PM
Draft-Monday thru Thursday, 7:30-10:00 PM.
Pregnancy and Abortion--Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, 7:30. Saturday 1:30 PM
Birth Control-Monday thru Friday, 6-7 PM. Saturday 2-3 PM.
The Foothill Clinic, 547 E. Union in Pasadena (795-8088) offers similar services free of
charge. Call them for a schedule of hours. Venereal Diseases are treated in the
evenings at a clinic maintained by the Committee to Eradicate Syphillis. They are
found at 5205 Melrose Ave., Hollywood (870-2524).
In Venice use the free Youth Clinic at 905 Venice Blvd. (near Lincoln). The services are
varied and they are only open evenings. Call 399-7743 and they'll help you.
For specialized problems try:
Drugs--Narcotics Anonymous (463-3123)
Abortion-The Woman's Center, 1027 S. Crenshaw (near Olympic Blvd.)
Wednesdays at 7:30 PM.
Mental--Central City Community Mental Health Center, 4272 S. Broadway
(232-2441)
Suicide Prevention Center, 2521 W. Pico (381-5111)
District Health Centers provide many free services. For exact information, call the
center or write to:
County of Los Angeles Health Department, Public Health Education Division, 220
N. Broadway, Los Angeles, California 90012. Ask for a list and information about
their health services.
EAST LOS ANGELES-670 S. Ferris Ave. 261-3191.
SUBCENTER--MARAVILLA - 915 N. Bonnie Beach Pl. 264-6910.
HOLLYWOOD-WILSHIRE-5202 Melrose Ave. 464-0121.
SUBCENTER-WEST HOLLYWOOD-621 N. San Vincente Blvd. 652-3090.
NORTH HOLLYWOOD-5300 Tujunga Ave. 766-3981.
SUBCENTERS-PACOIMA--13300 Van Nuys Blvd. 899-0231.
TUJUNGA--7747 Foothill Blvd. 352-1417.
SOUTH-1522 E. 102 St. 564-6801
SUBCENTER--FLORENCE-Firestone-8019 Compton Ave 583-6241.
SOUTHEAST - 4920 Avalon Blvd. 231-2161.
SOUTHWEST - 3834 S.Western Ave. 731-8541.
LEGAL AID
The Legal Aid Foundation of Los Angeles at 106 3rd St. (628-9126) provides help in
civil matters.
The ACLU of Southern California is located at 323 W. Fifth St. (MA 6-5156).
DRAFT COUNSELING
AFSC - 980 N. Fair Oaks, Pasadena 91103 (791-1978)
Black Community Draft Assistance-7228 S. Broadway, LA 90003 (778-0710)
Catholic Peace Assn.--911 Malcolm Ave., Westwood 90024 (474-2683)
Counterdraft-PO Box 74881, LA 90004
East LA Peace Center-409 N. Soto, LA 90033 (261-2047)
Episcopal Draft Counseling Center-514 W. Adams Blvd., LA 90004 (748-4662)
Fellowship for Reconciliation 4356˝ Melrose, LA 90029 (666-0145)
First Unitarian Church-2936 W. Eighth St., LA 90005 (389-1356)
Free Clinic-115 N. Fairfax, LA 90036 (938-9141)
L.A. Comm. for Defense of Bill of Rights-(MA 5-2169)
L.A. Draft Help-1018 S. Hill St., LA (RI 7-5461)
Myra House-191 N. Sunkist, West Covina (338-9636)
Northeast Peace Center-5682 York Blvd., LA 90042 (257-2004)
Peace House-724 Morengo, Pasadena 91103 (449-8228)
Resistance-507 N. Hoover, LA 90004
The Resistance-11317 Santa Monica Blvd., Westwood 90024 (478-2374)
SFVSC-Student Service Center, Admissions and Records Office, San Fernando Valley
State College, Northridge (349-1200, ext. 1181)
UCLA Draft Counseling Center--UCLA Law School, 405 Hilgard Ave., LA 90024
(746-6092)
USC Counseling Center-Gould Law School, University Park, Student Union Bldg., Rm.
217 (746-6092)
Valley Peace Center-7105 Hayvenhurst, Van Nuys 91406 (787-6925). Tuesday and
Wednesday evenings.
Venice Draft Info Center--73 Market St., Venice 90291 (399-5812)
War Resisters League-1046 N. Sweetzer, LA 90069 (654-4491)
Westside Jewish Community Center-5870 W. Olympic Blvd., LA 90046 (938-2531)
Women Strike for Peace-5899 W. Pico Blvd., LA 90019 (937-0236)
PLAY
Beaches
Los Angeles has 14 miles of beaches extending from north of Pacific Palisades to Cabrillo
Beach in San Pedro.
Will Rogers Beach State Park, 15100 Pacific Coast Highway, Pacific Palisades, extends
north three miles from the Santa Monica city limits to a point near Topanga Canyon. This
beach has a large, popular surfing area.
Venice Beach, 2100 Ocean Front Walk, Venice, extends from the Santa Monica city limits
south to Marina Del Rey. Six acres have been developed into a park with picnic areas,
shuffleboard courts and the Venice Beach Pavilion. The huge Venice Fishing Pier is located
here, and there is an area for surfing.
Isidore B. Dockweiler Beach State Park, 11401 Vista del Mar Ave. extends from Marina del
Ray, south of the city of El Segundo. This beach has 700 fire pits and a surfing area.
Cabrillo Beach, 3720 Stephen White Drive, San Pedro, located at the northern end of Los
Angeles Harbor, has picnic areas, fire pits and a section for surfing.
Royal Palms Beach, 1799 Paseo del Mar is equipped with picnic areas and fire pits.
Parks
Griffith Park is the largest park and the favorite gathering spot of the local hip community.
It's next to the Ventura and State Freeways.
Arroyo Seco Park is located along the Arroyo Seco and has picnic, recreational and
bowling-on-the-green facilities. You'll also find the Los Angeles Zoo at 5333 Zoo Drive in the
park.
Brand Park and Memory Garden opposite the old Mission San Fernando is a real strange
place to go.
Echo Park has the largest artificial lake in Los Angeles. Fishing programs for kids are
conducted each summer and electric boats are available for rent.
Hancock Park, located on Wilshire Blvd, between Odgen and Curson, has the LaBrea Tar
Pits with prehistoric animal and plant fossils all over the place.
The Exposition Park Rose Garden on Exposition Blvd. is a seven-acre sunken rose garden
that smells great.
Founded by Hubert Eaton as "the first step up to heaven," Forest Lawn Memorial Park,
overlooking beautiful downtown Glendale has to be the wildest spot around. It is pure L.A.
with the largest collection of reproduced statuary in the world. Jean Harlow, Sabu, Clark
Gable and other loved ones are tucked away here. You can turn on in front of the Jean
Hersholt Memorial, fuck in the Aisle of Benevolence located in the Great Mausoleum, and
trip out on a stereo sermon emanating from the giant Mystery of Life sculpture.
Far-fucking out!
Museums
There are over fifty free museums in the greater Los Angeles area. We are listing those of
special interest.
California Museum of Science and Industry-Exposition Park, 749-0101.
Hollywood Wax Museum-6767 Hollywood Blvd. (near Grauman's Chinese Theater).
Los Angeles County Museum of Art-5905 Wilshire Blvd. in Hancock Park, 937-2590.
Music
Every Sunday there are free music concerts in Griffith Park. Movies
U.C.L.A. has a free experimental film series every year. Call them at 825-4321 for a
schedule.
INFORMATION
The Switchboard in Los Angeles has a 24-hour-a-day service called the Hot Line. It's
located at 4650 Sunset Blvd. (663-1015). Call them for the latest in what's going down in
the area. The L.A. Free Press at 7813 Beverly Blvd. 937-1970, is always a good source of
information. The Black Panther Party Headquarters can be found at 4115 S. Central Ave.,
235-4127, or at 9818 Anzac, in Watts, 567-8027. The Traveler's Aid Society has offices in
the Greyhound Bus Terminal and International Airport. They provide all kinds of services
and information to lost souls or visitors. Generally
FREEBIES
Clothes
The following spots offer clothes,furniture and other household items at low prices:
Goodwill Industries-235 So. Broadway 228-1748; 5208 Whittier 264-1638
St. Vincent de Paul Society-727 N. Broadway 627-8147; 210 San Fernando Rd. 221-6151
The Volunteers of America maintain a number of thrift stores throughout the area. Try
8609 S. Broadway or call 750-9251 for the store near you.
The Salvation Army also has a chain of stores. The main store is at 801 E. 7th St.
620-1270. They can help you there or let you know where you can shop in your area.
Money
You can sell a pint of blood for $10.00 at the Red Cross Blood Bank, 1200 S. Vermont
(384-5261).
Pets
All sorts of free pets are available at the ASPCA, 5026, W. Jefferson (731-2491).
Identification
Los Angeles has a curfew law but you can get a suitable I.D. with photo for $3.50 at Twelfth
and Hill Streets.
fuck san francisco
HOUSING
The nights are chilly in San Francisco but there are places that offer a free night's lodging.
To avoid overcrowding they tend to employ a ticket system. By showing up in the late
afternoon, you are generally assured a place to stay that night. The following places work it
this way:
Brother Juniper's Inn--1736 Haight, tickets on a first-come, first-serve basis.
Holy Order of Man--937 Fillmore, no tickets.
Hospitality House--148 Leavenworth, for people under 18, generally filled.
Pinehurst Emergency Lodge--2685 30th Ave., for unwed mothers and women with
children.
St. Mary's Church--660 California, tickets at 6:00 PM.
St. Patrick's Church--756 Mission, tickets at 6:00 PM
St. Vincent De Paul--235 Minna, tickets at 4:00 PM for single men only.
Salvation Army Harbor Light--290 Fourth St., no tickets.
Traveler's Aid, 38 Mason, 771-0880, will assist in finding temporary shelter. Young runaways
will find it cool to try All Saint's Church, 1350 Walker (863-9718) for both room and board.
Also Huckleberry's for Runaways, 1347 7th Ave. (731-3921) will provide these and other
services such as counseling.
If you're going to settle for a while in San Francisco, you might have difficulty finding an
apartment to rent. Try the Federal Housing Information Center, 100 California (556-5900).
They maintain a free listing.
The Community Design Center, 215 Haight (863-3718) provides free advice on
architectural and design of pads inside and out once you locate a place, speaking, you can
find a Traveler's Aid Station in every place that large numbers of travelers can be found.
 _______________________________
[Mar 25,2008 3:47pm - Mucko ""]
[FONT=XXL]1
55 Ways to Have
Fun With Google
A cabinet of search
engine curiosities,
riddles, games, and a
little bit of usefulness
You can order the book at
www.55fun.com
Philipp Lenssen
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
2
55 Ways to Have fun With Google by Philipp Lenssen.
First edition 2006.
Released under a
Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.0 License
(see http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/ for more).
You are free:
• to copy, distribute, display, and perform the work
• to make derivative works
Under the following conditions:
By Attribution. You must attribute the work in the manner specified by the author or licensor.
Noncommercial. You may not use this work for commercial purposes.
Share Alike. If you alter, transform, or build upon this work, you may distribute the resulting
work only under a license identical to this one.
• For any reuse or distribution, you must make clear to others the license terms of this
work.
• Any of these conditions can be waived if you get permission from the copyright
holder.
Your fair use and other rights are in no way affected by the above.
3
On a spring day you can find your way
to a little flower garden where the Googleheads play
You know they’re there by the clothes they wear
And their Googlehead faces and their Googlehead hair.
‘Cause they’re the Googleheads
They shake their doodleheads
They’re the goo-ga-goo-ga-goo-gah Googleheads.
– Laurie Berkner
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
4
Contents
Introduction .....................................................................................8
1. Egogoogling: Susan Is…..............................................................9
2. The Google Snake Game............................................................ 15
3. Memecodes: Survival of the Fittest Web Pages ......................... 16
4. The Google Irritation Game, and the Google Image Quiz........ 19
5. Googling Proverbs......................................................................20
6. Browsing Images of a Site..........................................................24
7. A Brief History of Googlesport...................................................25
8. What is Google, and what do people consider fun about it?......32
9. How Much Time Google Saves Us ............................................37
10. Google Cookin’ a Lemon Chicken............................................40
11. Douglas Adams and the Google Calculator.............................. 41
12. Oops, I Googled Again .............................................................42
13. The Disappearing Google Logo, a Magic Trick ......................45
14. Fun With Google Maps, the Wiki Way .....................................46
15. Dave Gorman’s Googlewhack .................................................. 51
16. Google Q&A .............................................................................54
17. Celebrate Google Non-Weddings, and More ...........................56
18. Design Your SketchUp Dream House .....................................58
19. Kevin Bacon and the Google Network .....................................59
20. The Google Alphabet................................................................62
5
21. Google Search Tips...................................................................63
22. Googlepark ...............................................................................66
23. Googleshare ..............................................................................76
24. The Shortest Google Search (and the One Returning the Most
Results) ....................................................................................79
25. Google Rotated and Mini Google.............................................80
26. The Google Quiz: How Much Do You Know About Google? .82
27. Recreate Google From Memory ...............................................86
28. The Strange World of Google News......................................... 91
29. Aliens Attack Google! ............................................................. 100
30. Top Ten Signs You Are Addicted to Google.......................... 102
31. Dig a Hole Through Earth ..................................................... 103
32. Googlebombing...................................................................... 105
33. Google Ads Gone Wrong ........................................................ 109
34. Life in the Age of Google.........................................................114
35. Google Hacking.......................................................................118
36. Googlepolls: Ask the Crowd ....................................................121
37. Googlefights.............................................................................131
38. What If Google Was Evil? Plus: Five Inventions of the Google
Future..................................................................................... 133
39. The Google Adventure Game................................................. 150
40. Egobot, Voice of the Web........................................................151
41. Fun Google Gadgets ............................................................... 154
42. Forty-Two, or: A Science-Fiction Interlude ........................... 160
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
6
43. The Google Book of World Records....................................... 175
44. Spelling Errors Galore ............................................................ 180
45. Google Groups, Time Machine.............................................. 182
46. Growing a Google Word ......................................................... 188
47. Most Popular Words, and PopSents....................................... 190
48. Create Google Poetry, Prose, and Collages ............................ 195
49. Funny Google Videos ............................................................. 203
50. The Realplayer Fish, or: Telling a Story in Synonyms ........... 207
51. Google Parodies...................................................................... 210
52. The Google Images Prediction Trick..................................... 217
53. Fun With Google Translations ............................................... 218
54. The Giant Google Painting..................................................... 219
55. Googledromes......................................................................... 224
Acknowledgments........................................................................ 225
Glossary........................................................................................ 226
7
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
8
Introduction
This book, in a way, is born out of my daily weblog “Google
Blogoscoped” (blog.outer-court.com) and those who read it. Since 2003
I’ve been writing there covering all things Google – not just the fun
stuff, but news, discussion, interviews, tutorials, and everything beyond
with a relation to search engines. Thanks to those reading along and
providing pointers or feedback, I’ve been able to discover more
interesting pages and get to know more interesting people around the
world than ever before.
When I think of Google, first and foremost I think of its role to
discover knowledge, people, and people’s thoughts. Search engines are
truly one of the first emergents of a global brain, and in good tradition
of Gutenberg’s inventions in the technology of printing, of the
invention of the internet, and later the invention of the World Wide
Web. All those bring us closer together by speeding up the rhythm in
which we communicate.
So there we have it, for the first time in history: search, the key to
instant knowledge. And what do we do with it? Silly things. OK, not
exclusively. But silliness is a part of it. People googlewhack,
googlebomb, or egogoogle. People create parodies of Google. They
create search engine contests. Magic tricks, riddles and art based on
Google. They have a lot of fun with Google, and get together to play
games on top of Google services. Even Google Inc themselves send
out April Fool’s jokes every year, and celebration logos many times a
year. Oh, humanity!
But behind many of the playful creations surrounding that giant
Google toy, there are serious lessons to be learned. Of the 55 ways to
have fun with Google presented here, some ways indeed teach us
something; about life, Google, and how to become a better searcher.
And the rest of the ways? Well, seriously, they’re really just there to
have fun. And I hope you enjoy!
1. Egogoogling: Susan Is…
9
1. Egogoogling: Susan Is…
Have you ever searched for your own name on Google, curious what
the world has to say about you? Almost everyone of us did, one time
or another. In fact, you should – maybe others search for you all the
same, and you want to know what they will find.
The act of searching for yourself is also known as “egogoogling.”
Here’s a variant of it which can be a fun game. Enter your first name
followed by the word “is” into Google, and put the search in quotes.
For example, if your name is Susan, the search would look like this:
“susan is”
Now in the search result snippets, you will learn a lot of things about
you that you didn’t even know! For the name “Susan,” we get the
following:
Susan is an amazing person to work with!
Susan is an ethical woman and is refusing to cooperate
Susan is a very attractive young lady (with a boyfriend) who for
some reason is always late.
Susan is a top Florida residential real estate agent.
Susan is a top producer specializing in the ski resort town of
Breckenridge, as well as the surrounding area.
Not only can you apply this approach to find out more about yourself
(or just have a good laugh, actually, as the results are likely to be about
another person), you can also use this to find out about celebrities. To
do so, enter the full celebrity name followed by the word “is” into
Google, and put it in quotes again:
“arnold schwarzenegger is”
For action movie star Arnie, we get these results:
Arnold Schwarzenegger is a very talented man who would
make an excellent governor.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is falling into a similar spiral.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is looking out for voters’ best
interests.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
10
Arnold Schwarzenegger is a man more familiar with the red
carpets of a movie premiere than a white collar business seminar.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is terrifying as the “killer cyborg” who
“looks like Death rendered in steel.”
Arnold Schwarzenegger is The Terminator (T-800).
Arnold Schwarzenegger is quickly discovering that life in
politics doesn’t always produce the happy endings so common in
many of his Hollywood blockbusters.
Note that you can use “stars in,” “was born in” and similar glue words
instead of “is” to find out almost anything about a celebrity. You can
even expand the idea to include things, not people… try searching for
“Nikon cameras are” and similar queries.
If you don’t have Google near you, here are some popular male and
female names with their “egogoogled” results.
Male Names
Aaron is a monotonic anchor.
Adam is a deeply disturbing and depressing film.
Alan is AI’s pattern-matching chatbot.
Albert is so cute!
Andrew is the Patron Saint of Scotland.
Anthony is probably the best male vocal out there.
Arthur is kind of in a category by itself.
Brandon is for the birds.
Brian is embarrassed that he needs the extra help in school.
Carl is just sitting there in Nashville!
Charles is also a coach of AYSO youth soccer, an officer in the PTA of the
local elementary school.
Christopher is of mixed heritage (Asian-American).
Daniel is a natural talent .
David is not allowed computer access.
Dennis is one of Britain’s best known entrepreneurs.
Donald is rarely easy to understand, and people have supposedly heard him say
all sorts of risque things. Donald is a Professor in the Department of
Psychology.
Douglas is “King of California.”
Edward is a biological human (not a robot).
Edward is coming BACK to television.
Eric is featured on guitar and mandolin on the songs Viargra and Gypsy
woman.
Frank is hilariously funny on what makes us red-staters different from bluestaters
(not).
Fred is leading the Franklin Templeton Shootout after 2 rounds!
1. Egogoogling: Susan Is…
11
Gary is the editor and compiler of ResourceShelf.
George is, quite simply, the worst helpdesk technician ever.
Gerald is frightened and doesn’t understand why the woman wants to assist
him.
Gregory is recognized as one of the very foremost orators.
Harold is an original.
Henry is currently in jail.
Jack is looking for a house with about half an acre of land to buy in California.
James is as forthright as an Old Testament prophet.
Jason is who the JASON Project is named after.
Jeffrey is helping to clear up this cosmic murkiness.
Jeremy is a conscientious worker who can usually be relied upon.
Jerry is a master at understanding your goals for the photograph and then
creating the perfect lighting.
Joe is “LIVE” daily.
John is succeeding marvelously in journalism’s highest calling: to encourage
people .
Jonathan is writing a magical fable of his grandfather’s village in Ukraine.
Joseph is the Special Assistant to the President and Senior Director.
Joshua is home now.
Juan is similar to the one at the top of this page.
Justin is practicing walking on his hands.
Keith is a true character who comes across as being very sincere.
Kenneth is a strong advocate for community building and social change.
Kevin is creative director and co-founder at Lightroom.
Larry is also a political planner.
Lawrence is a New York Real Estate Broker specializing in Putnam.
Mark is coauthor of Inside Windows 2000, Third Edition (Microsoft Press).
Matthew is believed to have used Mark and the theoretical source.
Michael is abandoning the music business to release his songs online for free
instead.
Patrick is one of the nation’s best young auto racers.
Paul is backwards in line and taller than everyone else, again.
Peter is a consultant with a distinguished academic track record.
Ralph is not beyond fishing around for a philosophical explanation.
Raymond is an observer-participant anthropologist in the Internet
Richard is often accused of being overly concerned with himself.
Robert is an elder in the Presbyterian Church (USA)
Roger is approached by a gangling, spotty computer scientist.
Ronald is known in more than 100 countries wherever you find McDonald’s
restaurants.
Ryan is clearly good at her job.
Samuel is irresistible.
Scott is arguably the most well-known and influential unknown composer.
Shawn is now 26 years old, lives in San Diego, enjoys snowboarding, taking
trips to Lake.
Stephen is working with Marvel to produce a series of comic books.
Steve is a DJ in Boston.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
12
Steven is writing the same song over and over.
Terry is back with his new group, The Society for Truth and Justice.
Thomas is still searching
Timothy is an accomplished juggler.
Walter is now 79 years of age and in excellent health.
William is truly “fit for a king.”
Female Names
Alice is an AIML engine written in C++.
Amanda is most known for her role in FOX’s hit TV show “The OC.”
Amy is... sniff... sniff... sad about our recent barking on her “Re-name RSS
contest.”
Angela is absolutely swamped this week!
Ann is only a writer – and NOT a private detective.
Anna is helping out with the hurricane relief effort.
Anne is a storyteller.
Barbara is to go to Paddle Sports of Santa Barbara.
Betty is distinctively heard singing alongside Michael.
Brenda is the mother of 14 children, 12 of whom are adopted.
Carolyn is currently training for the next WNBA season.
Catherine is a star.
Christina is also busy promoting the line of footwear “Skechers.”
Christine is red and white.
Cindy is in “love with the attention.”
Cynthia is still on the border.
Debbie is an International Magician.
Deborah is pleased to announce two brand-new paintings!
Debra is a nationally recognized expert on communication skills.
Denise is funny, bright and bubbly.
Diana is currently in London, England where she is working on the artwork.
...
Diane is steadfast in her mission of marketing and negotiating the terms of
the sale.
Donna is recording her 2nd CD, "Feels Like Home", which will be released in
2001.
Doris is such a great zine.
Dorothy is 5 Dinosaur years old, and is very wise for her age.
Edith is only meaningful.
Elizabeth is just south of the expanding Addo Elephant National Park.
Ellen is Africa’s first lady president.
Emily is nation’s young poet of the year.
Heather is the one with the muscles.
Helen is Coming To Town!.
Irene: Irene is a wedding and portrait photographer serving parts of New
England and New York State. Jane is one of Victorian literature’s rebellious
heroines.
1. Egogoogling: Susan Is…
13
Janet is fantastic.
Janice is right there on that edge.
Jennifer is a genius.
Jessica is a joy and a delight that brings happiness to all of us.
Josephine is Under Construction!
Judith is no mythical personage.
Judy is going to still have to answer to a higher authority.
Julie is no longer a loner; she, too, learns about being a part of a community.
Karen is an experienced tutor in both fiddle and step dance.
Katherine is one of two large towns you will come across on the route
between Darwin and Alice.
Kathleen is foremost a musician.
Kathy is married to Rick Hilton, who is the wealthy grandson.
Kimberly is married to Johnny.
Laura is not a psychologist nor a psychiatrist.
Linda is now going to move to the south of Sweden.
Lisa is furious with Debbie.
Louise is a first-class song, there is no doubting.
Margaret is not the enemy.
Marie is an accomplished author with an important story to tell.
Martha is “free.”
Melissa is very open about her past.
Michelle is as Michelle does.
Nancy is also an award-winning video producer.
Nicole is now working hard on a NEW collection of tunes.
Pamela is coming into her glory today.
Rachel is well on her way to achieving her goals.
Rebecca is never seen, and yet she is the main character.
Ruth is a member of the American Immigration Lawyers Association.
Sandra is the fourth woman to win it all, compared to only three men.
Sara is right. Yes, it is true.
Sarah is still in the studio working.
Sharon is expected to decide this weekend.
Sherry is a type of wine originally produced in and around the town of Jerez.
Stephanie is so afraid of germs, she can’t stop washing her hands.
Susan is creative, perceptive, intuitive, and timely.
Suzanne is not Sue.
Tina is no acronym.
Virginia is a five-day bike tour.
Wendy is now the only comic featured on the website.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
14
(Original cartoon by the US government.)
2. The Google Snake Game
15
2. The Google Snake Game
Here’s a party game which needs nothing but a working internet
connection (say, a notebook or cell phone), and Google.com’s web
search. The goal is to create the longest phrase that Google can find by
alternately adding one word to the end of the other player’s search
phrase. Say, the first person starts with “Feelings”. Now the second
person adds a word, “are”, so we get “Feelings are”... (Note the use of
quotation marks in the search query.)
Now every time a word is added, the phrase is searched for in Google,
and the resulting page count is announced to the group. The one
person who creates a sentence with zero results in Google loses and has
to do something silly (or if you want to play with points, he loses a
point, and the last person who created a sentence with results in Google
will win a point). To prevent cheating, the one whose turn is next is not

post was too long read more at your own risk

 _________________________________
[Mar 25,2008 3:50pm - W3 nli  ""]
these are all great....

but

[img]
 _______________________________
[Mar 25,2008 4:07pm - Mucko ""]

Page i
Verbal Self-Defense
by Lillian Glass, Ph.D.
A Division of Macmillan General Reference
A Pearson Education Macmillan Company
1633 Broadway, New York, NY 10019



Page ii
Copyright© 1999 Lillian Glass, Ph.D.
All rights reserved. No part of this book shall be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any
means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the
publisher. No patent liability is assumed with respect to the use of the information contained herein. Although
every precaution has been taken in the preparation of this book, the publisher and author assume no
responsibility for errors or omissions. Neither is any liability assumed for damages resulting from the use of
information contained herein. For information, address Alpha Books, 1633 Broadway, 7th Floor, New York,
NY 10019-6785.
THE COMPLETE IDIOT'S GUIDE name and design are trademarks of Macmillan, Inc.
Macmillan Publishing books may be purchased for business or sales promotional use. For information please
write: Special Markets Department, Macmillan Publishing USA, 1633 Broadway, New York, NY 10019.
International Standard Book Number: 0-02-862741-5
Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 99-64466
01 00 99 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Interpretation of the printing code: the rightmost number of the first series of numbers is the year of the book's
printing; the rightmost number of the second series of numbers is the number of the book's printing. For
example, a printing code of 99-1 shows that the first printing occurred in 1999.
Printed in the United States of America
Note: This publication contains the opinions and ideas of its author. It is intended to provide helpful and
informative material on the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the author and
publisher are not engaged in rendering professional services in the book. If the reader requires personal
assistance or advice, a competent professional should be consulted.
The authors and publisher specifically disclaim any responsibility for any liability, loss or risk, personal or
otherwise, which is incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, of the use and application of any of the
contents of this book.
Page iii
Alpha Development Team
Publisher
Kathy Nebenhaus
Editorial Director
Gary M. Krebs
Managing Editor
Bob Shuman
Marketing Brand Manager
Felice Primeau
Acquisitions Editor
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Development Editors
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Production Team
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Copy Editor
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Cover Designer
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Photo Editor
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Illustrator
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Book Designer
Scott Cook and Amy Adams of Design Lab
Indexer
Tim Wright
Layout/Proofreading
Angela Calvert
Ellen Considine

Page iv
CONTENTS AT A GLANCE
Part 1:
Identifying the Verbally Venomous Opponent
1
1
Identifying the Verbally Venomous Opponent
Observe the person from head to toe in a way you never have before. Listen
between the lines to what they are really saying through their facial and
body language and the sound of their voice.
3
2
Knowing When You've Been Verbally Zapped
Translate what is meant by seemingly innocent statements that are really
verbal barbs. Take the quiz to see if you've been exposed to verbal abuse.
19
3
Verbal Abusers Are Losers
Find out the inner workings of different types of verbal abusers,
categorized according to the severity of their abusive behavior.
33
4
Verbal Murder—How and Why?
Learn some of the conscious and unconscious reasons for and the
consequences of being verbally murdered.
47
Part 2:
Preparing to Verbally Defend Yourself
59
5
Analyzing Your Strengths and Weaknesses
Learn ways to objectively examine how you come across to others—
everything from the way you walk to the way you talk.
61
6
Gaining the Physical Edge
Learn techniques for enhancing your image. These will create a more
powerful perception of you in others and instill more self-confidence in you.
79
7
Gaining the Verbal Advantage
How you sound when you speak cannot be overlooked if you want to win
the verbal war. Learn strategies for enhancing the way you speak.
91
8
Communication Skill Defense
Just as it is important to sound good in verbal warfare, it is important to
105
say the right thing. Learn the basics of communication that will make
others more receptive towards you.
9
Confident Conversation
Learn to develop the charisma to attract people, keep them interested, and
interact with them in the future.
117
Page v
Part 3:
Verbal Defense Strategies to Use in Combat
129
10
Verbal Defense Strategies
Memorize the verbal self-defense strategies so you can easily call upon a
particular strategy in any circumstance. If one doesn't work, you have
numerous others from which to choose.
131
11
Letting Them Know They've Overstepped Their Verbal Boundaries
Now there is no excuse for being victimized or traumatized by an opponent
who intrudes on your territory. You have a bag full of strategies to ward
them off.
139
12
When More Powerful Weaponry Is Needed
You can accomplish more with your mouth than with your fists. It's okay to
get angry, but the consequences of physical violence are too high.
151
13
Enough Is Enough! Knowing When to Retreat
Learn how to quickly determine when the verbal battle is finally over.
Whether you won or lost, you still need to recoup and regroup. This chapter
shows you how to do both.
161
Part 4:
Verbal Warfare with Specific People in Your Life
173
14
Gaining the Winning Verbal Edge Between the Sexes
Learn the basics of male and female communication. This will help you
avoid many common pitfalls responsible for verbal warfare between
couples.
175
15
Blood Is Not Always Thicker Than Water!
Learn how to converse with various family members to understand their
perspectives; if they're just too toxic, learn to get out and save yourself.
191
16
Verbal Warfare with Specific People in Your Life
Master the words to use for specific kinds of abusers, so that you will never
again be a victim.
203
Part 5:
Verbal Combat Against Verbal Abusers
215
17
Verbal Combat Against Annoying Verbal Abusers
The 13 types of annoying vermin won't hurt you, just drive you insane. Here
are remedies for them.
217
18
Verbal Combat Against Painful Verbal Abusers
These eight types of disgusting and obnoxious verbal vermin can literally
make you sick. Learn to combat them so that you won't vomit.
229
Page vi
19
Verbal Combat Against Dangerous Verbal Abusers
These 11 types of dangerous verbal vermin can inflict emotional, mental,
and physical harm upon you. Here are strategies available to help you
protect yourself.
239
Part 6:
Dodging Verbal Bullets in Specific Battlefields
253
20
Verbal Defense over the Telephone
Learn what to say over the telephone to rude and unhelpful people, pests,
and those who have bad telephone habits.
255
21
Verbal Self-Defense in Sticky Situations
What to say in real-life situations nobody talks about. Topics range from
telling someone they have body odor to getting a cheapskate to cough up
the money for a bill.
267
22
Verbal Self-Defense in More Difficult Situations
How to deal with situations that are even more difficult, because they
involve people such as those who are dying or grieving over someone else's
death, and those who lie.
281
23
Verbal Self-Defense Can Save Your Life!
How to thwart a potential criminal act by knowing what to say and how to
say it. You will also learn how to broach the subject of safe sex.
293
24
Verbally Defending YOU Against YOU!
What you say about yourself says it all! People who speak well about
themselves encourage others to do the same. Be discriminating about what
you say about yourself and others.
307
A Resources 319
B To Order Dr. Glass's Products 323
Index 325
Page vii
CONTENTS
Part 1:
Identifying the Verbally Venomous Opponent
1
1
Identifying the Verbally Venomous Opponent
3
Stop, Look, and Listen—Sizing Up Your Opponent 3
20/20 Hindsight 4
Freeze and Focus 5
Reading Between the Lines 5
Telltale Eyes 7
Here's Looking (or Not Looking) at You, Kid! 8
Face Off 9
Telltale Mouth 10
Body Talk 11
Keep Your Distance! 11
Stand Up! 12
Armed with Arms and Hands 12
Hand-to-Hand Combat 13
Listening Between the Lines 13
Telling Tones 14
Squeaking or Leaking? 14
Tones Ready to Verbally Attack You 15
The Mouse That Roars 15
“Tha tha that's all, folks!” 15
Where's the Foghorn? 16
Thylvesther the Cat Thaid What? 16
Slow Down, I Can't Keep Up! 17
Aren't You Done Yet? 17
The Rain in Spain Lies Mainly in the Plain 17
2
Knowing When You've Been Verbally Zapped
19
What Are They Really Saying to You? 19
You Were Not “Only Kidding” 20
What's the Matter? Cat Got Your Tongue? 21
If He Says He's a Jerk, Believe Him 22
Beware, You're Next! 22
They Don't Really Mean That! 23
Warning! You've Been Exposed to a Verbal Health Hazard 23
Verbal Abuse—the Silent Killer 24
Quiz to Determine Exposure to Verbal Abuse 25
What Do Your Answers Mean? 26
Page viii
Ouch, It Hurts! The Physical Pain of Verbal Abuse 27
Head Games Lead to Heart Pains 28
Shrinking Verbal Abuse—Psychological Pain 29
3
Verbal Abusers Are Losers
33
Categorizing the Verbal Abuser 33
Level One Abusers 34
The “I'm Only Kidding” Person 34
The “Shock 'Em and Rock 'Em” Person 34
The Sarcastic/Sadistic Person 35
The Verbal Hammers Person 35
“My Dog's Bigger Than Your Dog” People 36
The Trashers 36
People Who Throw Back Your Confidences 37
The Sugary Fawner 38
Backhanded Complimentors 39
The Self-Consumed 39
Level Two Abusers 40
Interrogators 40
Gossiping, Meddling Instigators 41
Condescending Dismissers 41
Sneaky Underminers 41
“I Love You—I Hate You” People 42
“You're No Good!” People 43
Yellers, Screamers, and Ragers 43
Verbal Nazis—My Way or Else! 43
Guilt-Producing Accusers 44
Liars 44
Verbal Icicles 45
4
Verbal Murder—How and Why?
47
What Is Verbal Murder? 47
Who Are Verbal Murderers? 47
Identifying the Verbal Abusers in Your Life 48
When Do Verbal Abusers Turn into Verbal Murderers? 49
Why Does Verbal Murder Happen? 50
Unconscious Reasons for Verbal Murder 50
Hey! Don't Take It Out on Me! 50
Hey! We're Not All Like That! 50
I'm Not That Toxic Person in Your Past! 51
Green with Envy! 51
I Really Don't Deserve to Be That Happy! 52
I Don't Trust Anybody—Including You! 52
Page ix
Conscious Reasons for Verbal Murder 53
They Just Plain Can't Stand You! 53
They Know You Really Don't Like Them 53
What's the Use? 53
Gimme the Reins—I Need to Control You! 53
You're Incompetent! 54
I Just Don't Believe in You! 54
I Don't Want You to Be Ahead of Me! 55
Who Said You Can Be That Happy and Lucky? 56
They Did It to Me—Now It's Your Turn! 56
Consequences of Being a Verbal Murderer 57
Consequences of Being Verbally Murdered 57
Part 2:
Preparing to Verbally Defend Yourself
59
5
Analyzing Your Strengths and Weaknesses
61
How Others See You Does Matter! 61
How Do You Come Across to Others? 62
The General Consensus About You Is 63
Putting Others to the Test 63
Equipment You Need to Objectively Examine Yourself 65
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall 65
No Lies on Videotape 66
Record a Call 66
A Picture Says a Thousand Words 67
Getting Emotionally Naked 67
Stand Up and Walk the Walk! 68
The Stance of Power 68
The Walk of Authority 70
I Have to Hand It to You 71
Dead Head? 71
About Face! 72
Eye Deal 73
Is Your Mouth Goin' South? 73
Air Born 74
Ouch! My Ears Hurt Listening to You! 74
Pitching Your Voice 75
It's Quality We're After! 75
Twisting Your Tongue 76
Pump Up the Volume! Drown the Sound! 76
How Fast Were You Going? 76
The Nose Knows 76
Are You Talking to Me? 76
Page x
6
Gaining the Physical Edge
79
Postural Defense—Staking Out Your Presence 80
1. Stand Up Straight, Without a Leg Up! 80
2. Bottoms Up! 81
3. Straighten Up and Back Up! 81
4. Heads Up! 81
Walk Up! 81
Sit Up! 82
Uptight? Lighten Up! 82
Up in Arms! 83
Hands Up! 83
Shake Up! 84
Touch Up! 85
Face Up! 86
Charming, Disarming Smile 87
Kissin' Up! 87
Slipping Up or Messing Up? It All Adds Up and You End Up…! 88
7
Gaining the Verbal Advantage
91
Defensive Breathing 92
Relaxation Breathing: In—Hold—Out Control! 93
Mind-Clearing Breaths 94
Listening Through Breathing 94
Marrying Your Breathing with Your Talking 95
Vocal Defense 95
Your Most Overlooked Organ—Your Voice Box 95
Speak—Don't Squeak! 97
Yawning—Opening Up the Throat for a Smooth Voice 97
I Can't Hear You! 98
Stop Turning Me Off! 98
Stop Putting Me to Sleep with Your Boring Voice! 99
Whining No More 100
The Stuffed-Up Nose 100
Tasting Your Sounds 101
Kicking Key Consonants 101
Vowel Control 102
Demolishing Disgusting Habits 102
Say It—Don't Spray It! 102
Swallow Already! 102
Slow Down! It's Not the Grand Prix 103
Quiet! My Ears Can't Take It! 103
Spit It Out Already! 103
Hints to Help Control Your Stuttering 104
Page xi
8
Communication Skill Defense
105
Who in the World Are You? 105
“Who Are You?” Quiz 106
The Results of Who You Are 109
Keys to Gaining the Upper Hand 109
You Gotta Like You! 109
Don't Like Something About Yourself? Change It! 109
Talk Nice to You and Others Will Too 110
Cancel That! 110
The Power of the Word—What a Surprise! 111
Thoughts in Your Head 111
Open Your Mind! 111
Open Your Heart! 112
Tactics Used to Promote Verbal Peace with Others 112
Speak Up Immediately! 112
Monitor Your Mouth 113
Pay Attention to Trigger Words and Phrases 113
Terms of Endearment 114
Let Them Speak Their Piece 114
Enough About You Already! 115
Mind Your Own Business! 115
Respect Should Be Your Mantra 115
Don't Like the Answer? Then Don't Ask the Question 116
9
Confident Conversation
117
The Real Secret of Talking to Anyone 117
Understanding the Four Steps of Confident Conversation 118
Confident Pre-Conversation 118
Ending the “I Think That You Think That I Think” Game
Forever!
118
Smile All the While 119
Do It Anyway! 119
You Die When You're Shy! 120
Only a Fool Plays It Cool! 120
Initiating a Confident Conversation 121
Maintaining a Confident Conversation 121
Ask, Ask, and Keep Asking! 122
Elaborate—Don't Interrogate! 122
Getting Deeper and Deeper 123
What Shall We Talk About? 123
Know What You're Talking About! 125
Bingo! You Got the Lingo! 125
Talking Ethnic 126
Page xii
It's Over—I Wanna Go Now 127
Don't Be a Liar—Follow Up Immediately! 128
Never Say You'll Call If You Don't Mean It! 128
Part 3:
Verbal Defense Strategies to Use in Combat
129
10
Verbal Defense Strategies
131
Entering the Verbal Combat Zone 131
A Verbal Weakling No More! 132
Verbally Pumping Up 132
Imaginary Conversation Strategy 132
Through the Looking Glass 133
Knowing When to Attack Back 134
What Your Answers Mean 134
Keep Your Eyes and Ears Open at All Times 136
Make a Choice and Make It Now 136
Picking Your Strategy 137
The Verbal Artist Has Complete Control! 137
11
Letting Them Know They've Overstepped Their Verbal Boundaries
139
Silent, Expressionless, Blank Stare 139
The Look of Disgust Strategy 141
Let It Go—Breathe and Blow Strategy 142
Calm, Calculating, Questioning Strategy—Like Columbo 143
The Naked Truth Strategy 144
“The Joke's on You”—Funny Bone Strategy 145
Love 'Em Up Strategy 146
Gentle-Toned Name Repetition 146
Hush Hush Strategy 147
Let the Baby Have Her Bottle Strategy 147
Hand-Holding Fighting Strategy 147
Heart-in-Hand Strategy 148
“What's Good About You” Strategy 148
12
When More Powerful Weaponry Is Needed
151
Never Walk Away When You Have Something to Say! 151
Protecting the Other Cheek 152
Don't Just Stand There—Do Something! 152
Verbally Setting Firm Limits 153
“This Is Unacceptable!” 154
“Excuse Me? Are You Talkin' to Me?” 155
Page xiii
Strategy of Loud Verbal Explosions! 155
Fight Clean and Fair! 155
Keep It Above the Belt 156
Never, Ever Use Physical Violence! 156
Fantasy Strategy—an Alternative to Physical Violence 157
Never Threaten One's Basic Needs! 157
Keep Your Cool 158
Verbally Mirroring the Foe Strategy 158
“Give 'Em Hell and Yell” Strategy 160
13
Enough Is Enough! Knowing When to Retreat
161
Three Strikes and You're Out! 162
Yes, But 162
I Say “Yes,” You Say “No” 163
You Finally Got the Message! 165
Noooooo! Don't Do It! 165
Help!!! Emergency!!! 166
Throwaways 166
No Stalkers or Fatal Attractions Allowed! 168
Mourning and Waking Up Renewed in the Morning 168
When You're on the Verbal Merry-Go-Round 169
Forgiving Yourself Right Now! 169
Make Yourself Feel Reeeeal Good! 169
Part 4:
Verbal Warfare with Specific People in Your Life
173
14
Gaining the Winning Verbal Edge Between the Sexes
175
What's the Real Deal? 176
Learning to Be Bilingual 176
Once Upon a Time There Was an Infant Boy and Girl 177
There's Only One Brain! 177
What Shall We Talk About? 178
He Says—She Thinks! She Says—He Thinks! 178
No-No Scenario 1 179
No-No Scenario 2 179
No-No Scenario 3 180
No-No Scenario 4 180
No-No Scenario 5 180
He Says—He Means! She Says—She Means! 181
Scenario 1 Shoulda Said 181
Scenario 2 Shoulda Said 181
Scenario 3 Shoulda Said 182
Scenario 4 Shoulda Said 182
Scenario 5 Shoulda Said 182
Page xiv
Oh! So That's What You Meant! 183
Basic Male 101 183
Basic Female 101 185
See What I Mean? 186
What Men Need to Do 187
What Women Need to Do 187
Saving You a Lot of Grief! 188
15
Blood Is Not Always Thicker Than Water!
191
Defense Against Verbally Abusive Parents 191
Long-Lasting Effects 192
Your Best Bet! 192
Defense Against Verbally Abusive Siblings 193
Too Close for Comfort 193
Your Best Bet! 194
Verbal Defense with Teens 194
Trash Talkin' Teens 195
Expect to Hear This from Your Teen 196
Verbal Defense with School-Aged Kids 197
Best Bet: Set Limits Immediately! 197
Parental Verbal Control 197
Best Bets: Ask Your Child If She Wants to Go Somewhere with
You
198
Verbal Defense with Pre-Schoolers 198
Verbal Defense in Utero 198
Verbal Defense with Infants and Toddlers 199
Terrible Twos Are Verbally Terrific! 199
Talking to Children Who Act Out Verbally 200
Your Best Bet: Children of This Age Crave Respect 200
Cursing Kids 201
16
Verbal Warfare with Specific People in Your Life
203
Verbal Self-Defense Techniques for Various Groups 203
Invasive Strangers 204
“Friends” 204
Enemies 205
Customer Service Representatives 205
People Entrusted with Yourself or Your Property 206
Salespeople, Store Clerks, and Realtors 207
People Who Serve You 208
People Who Don't Speak Your Language 211
Professionals and Authority Figures 212
Verbally Toxic Employers 212
Verbal Medical and Dental Disasters 213
Page xv
Part 5:
Verbal Combat Against Verbal Abusers
215
17
Verbal Combat Against Annoying Verbal Abusers
217
Mumble Jumble 217
Sonic Boomers! 218
Meek, Weak, and Squeak 219
Baby-Voiced and Cutsie-Wootsie 219
Where to Direct a Person with an Annoying Voice 221
The Monotonous Drone 222
The Fast Talker 223
Name-Dropper 223
The Know-It-All 224
SlangGangers 225
Conversation Hogs 226
Repeat, Repeating, Repeaters 226
Wordy Ones 227
The Whiner 227
18
Verbal Combat Against Painful Verbal Abusers
229
Verbal Abuse Can Actually Make You Nauseous! 229
The Verbally Dead 230
Verbal Vomiters 231
Sugary Sweet Phonies 232
Poor-Poor Me 233
“Fibbers” 234
*%#&@ Cussers! 234
Me, Me, Me 235
The Anointed One Has Spoken! 236
19
Verbal Combat Against Dangerous Verbal Abusers
239
PROCEED WITH EXTREME CAUTION! 239
Lambs to Lions 240
Control Freaks 240
Backstabbing Enviers 241
Hitting-Below-the-Belt Abusers 242
Verbal Interrogators 243
Fanatics and Zealots 244
Yes-Yes Do-Nothings 245
The Mentally/Verbally Dis

post was too long read more at your own risk

 ______________________________________
[Mar 25,2008 5:46pm - deadlikemurf ""]
sick.
 ________________________________________
[Mar 25,2008 5:48pm - DestroyYouAlot ""]
Pfft - I already knew all of that.

BTW, I'm totally buying you guys a rubber fist for the practice space. Start practicing.
 ____________________________________
[Mar 25,2008 8:24pm - fleshfries ""]
[QUOTE="Mucko:738749"]
Page i
Verbal Self-Defense
by Lillian Glass, Ph.D.
A Division of Macmillan General Reference
A Pearson Education Macmillan Company
1633 Broadway, New York, NY 10019



Page ii
Copyright© 1999 Lillian Glass, Ph.D.
All rights reserved. No part of this book shall be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any
means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the
publisher. No patent liability is assumed with respect to the use of the information contained herein. Although
every precaution has been taken in the preparation of this book, the publisher and author assume no
responsibility for errors or omissions. Neither is any liability assumed for damages resulting from the use of
information contained herein. For information, address Alpha Books, 1633 Broadway, 7th Floor, New York,
NY 10019-6785.
THE COMPLETE IDIOT'S GUIDE name and design are trademarks of Macmillan, Inc.
Macmillan Publishing books may be purchased for business or sales promotional use. For information please
write: Special Markets Department, Macmillan Publishing USA, 1633 Broadway, New York, NY 10019.
International Standard Book Number: 0-02-862741-5
Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 99-64466
01 00 99 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Interpretation of the printing code: the rightmost number of the first series of numbers is the year of the book's
printing; the rightmost number of the second series of numbers is the number of the book's printing. For
example, a printing code of 99-1 shows that the first printing occurred in 1999.
Printed in the United States of America
Note: This publication contains the opinions and ideas of its author. It is intended to provide helpful and
informative material on the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the author and
publisher are not engaged in rendering professional services in the book. If the reader requires personal
assistance or advice, a competent professional should be consulted.
The authors and publisher specifically disclaim any responsibility for any liability, loss or risk, personal or
otherwise, which is incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, of the use and application of any of the
contents of this book.
Page iii
Alpha Development Team
Publisher
Kathy Nebenhaus
Editorial Director
Gary M. Krebs
Managing Editor
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Marketing Brand Manager
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Acquisitions Editor
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Development Editors
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Illustrator
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Book Designer
Scott Cook and Amy Adams of Design Lab
Indexer
Tim Wright
Layout/Proofreading
Angela Calvert
Ellen Considine

Page iv
CONTENTS AT A GLANCE
Part 1:
Identifying the Verbally Venomous Opponent
1
1
Identifying the Verbally Venomous Opponent
Observe the person from head to toe in a way you never have before. Listen
between the lines to what they are really saying through their facial and
body language and the sound of their voice.
3
2
Knowing When You've Been Verbally Zapped
Translate what is meant by seemingly innocent statements that are really
verbal barbs. Take the quiz to see if you've been exposed to verbal abuse.
19
3
Verbal Abusers Are Losers
Find out the inner workings of different types of verbal abusers,
categorized according to the severity of their abusive behavior.
33
4
Verbal Murder—How and Why?
Learn some of the conscious and unconscious reasons for and the
consequences of being verbally murdered.
47
Part 2:
Preparing to Verbally Defend Yourself
59
5
Analyzing Your Strengths and Weaknesses
Learn ways to objectively examine how you come across to others—
everything from the way you walk to the way you talk.
61
6
Gaining the Physical Edge
Learn techniques for enhancing your image. These will create a more
powerful perception of you in others and instill more self-confidence in you.
79
7
Gaining the Verbal Advantage
How you sound when you speak cannot be overlooked if you want to win
the verbal war. Learn strategies for enhancing the way you speak.
91
8
Communication Skill Defense
Just as it is important to sound good in verbal warfare, it is important to
105
say the right thing. Learn the basics of communication that will make
others more receptive towards you.
9
Confident Conversation
Learn to develop the charisma to attract people, keep them interested, and
interact with them in the future.
117
Page v
Part 3:
Verbal Defense Strategies to Use in Combat
129
10
Verbal Defense Strategies
Memorize the verbal self-defense strategies so you can easily call upon a
particular strategy in any circumstance. If one doesn't work, you have
numerous others from which to choose.
131
11
Letting Them Know They've Overstepped Their Verbal Boundaries
Now there is no excuse for being victimized or traumatized by an opponent
who intrudes on your territory. You have a bag full of strategies to ward
them off.
139
12
When More Powerful Weaponry Is Needed
You can accomplish more with your mouth than with your fists. It's okay to
get angry, but the consequences of physical violence are too high.
151
13
Enough Is Enough! Knowing When to Retreat
Learn how to quickly determine when the verbal battle is finally over.
Whether you won or lost, you still need to recoup and regroup. This chapter
shows you how to do both.
161
Part 4:
Verbal Warfare with Specific People in Your Life
173
14
Gaining the Winning Verbal Edge Between the Sexes
Learn the basics of male and female communication. This will help you
avoid many common pitfalls responsible for verbal warfare between
couples.
175
15
Blood Is Not Always Thicker Than Water!
Learn how to converse with various family members to understand their
perspectives; if they're just too toxic, learn to get out and save yourself.
191
16
Verbal Warfare with Specific People in Your Life
Master the words to use for specific kinds of abusers, so that you will never
again be a victim.
203
Part 5:
Verbal Combat Against Verbal Abusers
215
17
Verbal Combat Against Annoying Verbal Abusers
The 13 types of annoying vermin won't hurt you, just drive you insane. Here
are remedies for them.
217
18
Verbal Combat Against Painful Verbal Abusers
These eight types of disgusting and obnoxious verbal vermin can literally
make you sick. Learn to combat them so that you won't vomit.
229
Page vi
19
Verbal Combat Against Dangerous Verbal Abusers
These 11 types of dangerous verbal vermin can inflict emotional, mental,
and physical harm upon you. Here are strategies available to help you
protect yourself.
239
Part 6:
Dodging Verbal Bullets in Specific Battlefields
253
20
Verbal Defense over the Telephone
Learn what to say over the telephone to rude and unhelpful people, pests,
and those who have bad telephone habits.
255
21
Verbal Self-Defense in Sticky Situations
What to say in real-life situations nobody talks about. Topics range from
telling someone they have body odor to getting a cheapskate to cough up
the money for a bill.
267
22
Verbal Self-Defense in More Difficult Situations
How to deal with situations that are even more difficult, because they
involve people such as those who are dying or grieving over someone else's
death, and those who lie.
281
23
Verbal Self-Defense Can Save Your Life!
How to thwart a potential criminal act by knowing what to say and how to
say it. You will also learn how to broach the subject of safe sex.
293
24
Verbally Defending YOU Against YOU!
What you say about yourself says it all! People who speak well about
themselves encourage others to do the same. Be discriminating about what
you say about yourself and others.
307
A Resources 319
B To Order Dr. Glass's Products 323
Index 325
Page vii
CONTENTS
Part 1:
Identifying the Verbally Venomous Opponent
1
1
Identifying the Verbally Venomous Opponent
3
Stop, Look, and Listen—Sizing Up Your Opponent 3
20/20 Hindsight 4
Freeze and Focus 5
Reading Between the Lines 5
Telltale Eyes 7
Here's Looking (or Not Looking) at You, Kid! 8
Face Off 9
Telltale Mouth 10
Body Talk 11
Keep Your Distance! 11
Stand Up! 12
Armed with Arms and Hands 12
Hand-to-Hand Combat 13
Listening Between the Lines 13
Telling Tones 14
Squeaking or Leaking? 14
Tones Ready to Verbally Attack You 15
The Mouse That Roars 15
“Tha tha that's all, folks!” 15
Where's the Foghorn? 16
Thylvesther the Cat Thaid What? 16
Slow Down, I Can't Keep Up! 17
Aren't You Done Yet? 17
The Rain in Spain Lies Mainly in the Plain 17
2
Knowing When You've Been Verbally Zapped
19
What Are They Really Saying to You? 19
You Were Not “Only Kidding” 20
What's the Matter? Cat Got Your Tongue? 21
If He Says He's a Jerk, Believe Him 22
Beware, You're Next! 22
They Don't Really Mean That! 23
Warning! You've Been Exposed to a Verbal Health Hazard 23
Verbal Abuse—the Silent Killer 24
Quiz to Determine Exposure to Verbal Abuse 25
What Do Your Answers Mean? 26
Page viii
Ouch, It Hurts! The Physical Pain of Verbal Abuse 27
Head Games Lead to Heart Pains 28
Shrinking Verbal Abuse—Psychological Pain 29
3
Verbal Abusers Are Losers
33
Categorizing the Verbal Abuser 33
Level One Abusers 34
The “I'm Only Kidding” Person 34
The “Shock 'Em and Rock 'Em” Person 34
The Sarcastic/Sadistic Person 35
The Verbal Hammers Person 35
“My Dog's Bigger Than Your Dog” People 36
The Trashers 36
People Who Throw Back Your Confidences 37
The Sugary Fawner 38
Backhanded Complimentors 39
The Self-Consumed 39
Level Two Abusers 40
Interrogators 40
Gossiping, Meddling Instigators 41
Condescending Dismissers 41
Sneaky Underminers 41
“I Love You—I Hate You” People 42
“You're No Good!” People 43
Yellers, Screamers, and Ragers 43
Verbal Nazis—My Way or Else! 43
Guilt-Producing Accusers 44
Liars 44
Verbal Icicles 45
4
Verbal Murder—How and Why?
47
What Is Verbal Murder? 47
Who Are Verbal Murderers? 47
Identifying the Verbal Abusers in Your Life 48
When Do Verbal Abusers Turn into Verbal Murderers? 49
Why Does Verbal Murder Happen? 50
Unconscious Reasons for Verbal Murder 50
Hey! Don't Take It Out on Me! 50
Hey! We're Not All Like That! 50
I'm Not That Toxic Person in Your Past! 51
Green with Envy! 51
I Really Don't Deserve to Be That Happy! 52
I Don't Trust Anybody—Including You! 52
Page ix
Conscious Reasons for Verbal Murder 53
They Just Plain Can't Stand You! 53
They Know You Really Don't Like Them 53
What's the Use? 53
Gimme the Reins—I Need to Control You! 53
You're Incompetent! 54
I Just Don't Believe in You! 54
I Don't Want You to Be Ahead of Me! 55
Who Said You Can Be That Happy and Lucky? 56
They Did It to Me—Now It's Your Turn! 56
Consequences of Being a Verbal Murderer 57
Consequences of Being Verbally Murdered 57
Part 2:
Preparing to Verbally Defend Yourself
59
5
Analyzing Your Strengths and Weaknesses
61
How Others See You Does Matter! 61
How Do You Come Across to Others? 62
The General Consensus About You Is 63
Putting Others to the Test 63
Equipment You Need to Objectively Examine Yourself 65
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall 65
No Lies on Videotape 66
Record a Call 66
A Picture Says a Thousand Words 67
Getting Emotionally Naked 67
Stand Up and Walk the Walk! 68
The Stance of Power 68
The Walk of Authority 70
I Have to Hand It to You 71
Dead Head? 71
About Face! 72
Eye Deal 73
Is Your Mouth Goin' South? 73
Air Born 74
Ouch! My Ears Hurt Listening to You! 74
Pitching Your Voice 75
It's Quality We're After! 75
Twisting Your Tongue 76
Pump Up the Volume! Drown the Sound! 76
How Fast Were You Going? 76
The Nose Knows 76
Are You Talking to Me? 76
Page x
6
Gaining the Physical Edge
79
Postural Defense—Staking Out Your Presence 80
1. Stand Up Straight, Without a Leg Up! 80
2. Bottoms Up! 81
3. Straighten Up and Back Up! 81
4. Heads Up! 81
Walk Up! 81
Sit Up! 82
Uptight? Lighten Up! 82
Up in Arms! 83
Hands Up! 83
Shake Up! 84
Touch Up! 85
Face Up! 86
Charming, Disarming Smile 87
Kissin' Up! 87
Slipping Up or Messing Up? It All Adds Up and You End Up…! 88
7
Gaining the Verbal Advantage
91
Defensive Breathing 92
Relaxation Breathing: In—Hold—Out Control! 93
Mind-Clearing Breaths 94
Listening Through Breathing 94
Marrying Your Breathing with Your Talking 95
Vocal Defense 95
Your Most Overlooked Organ—Your Voice Box 95
Speak—Don't Squeak! 97
Yawning—Opening Up the Throat for a Smooth Voice 97
I Can't Hear You! 98
Stop Turning Me Off! 98
Stop Putting Me to Sleep with Your Boring Voice! 99
Whining No More 100
The Stuffed-Up Nose 100
Tasting Your Sounds 101
Kicking Key Consonants 101
Vowel Control 102
Demolishing Disgusting Habits 102
Say It—Don't Spray It! 102
Swallow Already! 102
Slow Down! It's Not the Grand Prix 103
Quiet! My Ears Can't Take It! 103
Spit It Out Already! 103
Hints to Help Control Your Stuttering 104
Page xi
8
Communication Skill Defense
105
Who in the World Are You? 105
“Who Are You?” Quiz 106
The Results of Who You Are 109
Keys to Gaining the Upper Hand 109
You Gotta Like You! 109
Don't Like Something About Yourself? Change It! 109
Talk Nice to You and Others Will Too 110
Cancel That! 110
The Power of the Word—What a Surprise! 111
Thoughts in Your Head 111
Open Your Mind! 111
Open Your Heart! 112
Tactics Used to Promote Verbal Peace with Others 112
Speak Up Immediately! 112
Monitor Your Mouth 113
Pay Attention to Trigger Words and Phrases 113
Terms of Endearment 114
Let Them Speak Their Piece 114
Enough About You Already! 115
Mind Your Own Business! 115
Respect Should Be Your Mantra 115
Don't Like the Answer? Then Don't Ask the Question 116
9
Confident Conversation
117
The Real Secret of Talking to Anyone 117
Understanding the Four Steps of Confident Conversation 118
Confident Pre-Conversation 118
Ending the “I Think That You Think That I Think” Game
Forever!
118
Smile All the While 119
Do It Anyway! 119
You Die When You're Shy! 120
Only a Fool Plays It Cool! 120
Initiating a Confident Conversation 121
Maintaining a Confident Conversation 121
Ask, Ask, and Keep Asking! 122
Elaborate—Don't Interrogate! 122
Getting Deeper and Deeper 123
What Shall We Talk About? 123
Know What You're Talking About! 125
Bingo! You Got the Lingo! 125
Talking Ethnic 126
Page xii
It's Over—I Wanna Go Now 127
Don't Be a Liar—Follow Up Immediately! 128
Never Say You'll Call If You Don't Mean It! 128
Part 3:
Verbal Defense Strategies to Use in Combat
129
10
Verbal Defense Strategies
131
Entering the Verbal Combat Zone 131
A Verbal Weakling No More! 132
Verbally Pumping Up 132
Imaginary Conversation Strategy 132
Through the Looking Glass 133
Knowing When to Attack Back 134
What Your Answers Mean 134
Keep Your Eyes and Ears Open at All Times 136
Make a Choice and Make It Now 136
Picking Your Strategy 137
The Verbal Artist Has Complete Control! 137
11
Letting Them Know They've Overstepped Their Verbal Boundaries
139
Silent, Expressionless, Blank Stare 139
The Look of Disgust Strategy 141
Let It Go—Breathe and Blow Strategy 142
Calm, Calculating, Questioning Strategy—Like Columbo 143
The Naked Truth Strategy 144
“The Joke's on You”—Funny Bone Strategy 145
Love 'Em Up Strategy 146
Gentle-Toned Name Repetition 146
Hush Hush Strategy 147
Let the Baby Have Her Bottle Strategy 147
Hand-Holding Fighting Strategy 147
Heart-in-Hand Strategy 148
“What's Good About You” Strategy 148
12
When More Powerful Weaponry Is Needed
151
Never Walk Away When You Have Something to Say! 151
Protecting the Other Cheek 152
Don't Just Stand There—Do Something! 152
Verbally Setting Firm Limits 153
“This Is Unacceptable!” 154
“Excuse Me? Are You Talkin' to Me?” 155
Page xiii
Strategy of Loud Verbal Explosions! 155
Fight Clean and Fair! 155
Keep It Above the Belt 156
Never, Ever Use Physical Violence! 156
Fantasy Strategy—an Alternative to Physical Violence 157
Never Threaten One's Basic Needs! 157
Keep Your Cool 158
Verbally Mirroring the Foe Strategy 158
“Give 'Em Hell and Yell” Strategy 160
13
Enough Is Enough! Knowing When to Retreat
161
Three Strikes and You're Out! 162
Yes, But 162
I Say “Yes,” You Say “No” 163
You Finally Got the Message! 165
Noooooo! Don't Do It! 165
Help!!! Emergency!!! 166
Throwaways 166
No Stalkers or Fatal Attractions Allowed! 168
Mourning and Waking Up Renewed in the Morning 168
When You're on the Verbal Merry-Go-Round 169
Forgiving Yourself Right Now! 169
Make Yourself Feel Reeeeal Good! 169
Part 4:
Verbal Warfare with Specific People in Your Life
173
14
Gaining the Winning Verbal Edge Between the Sexes
175
What's the Real Deal? 176
Learning to Be Bilingual 176
Once Upon a Time There Was an Infant Boy and Girl 177
There's Only One Brain! 177
What Shall We Talk About? 178
He Says—She Thinks! She Says—He Thinks! 178
No-No Scenario 1 179
No-No Scenario 2 179
No-No Scenario 3 180
No-No Scenario 4 180
No-No Scenario 5 180
He Says—He Means! She Says—She Means! 181
Scenario 1 Shoulda Said 181
Scenario 2 Shoulda Said 181
Scenario 3 Shoulda Said 182
Scenario 4 Shoulda Said 182
Scenario 5 Shoulda Said 182
Page xiv
Oh! So That's What You Meant! 183
Basic Male 101 183
Basic Female 101 185
See What I Mean? 186
What Men Need to Do 187
What Women Need to Do 187
Saving You a Lot of Grief! 188
15
Blood Is Not Always Thicker Than Water!
191
Defense Against Verbally Abusive Parents 191
Long-Lasting Effects 192
Your Best Bet! 192
Defense Against Verbally Abusive Siblings 193
Too Close for Comfort 193
Your Best Bet! 194
Verbal Defense with Teens 194
Trash Talkin' Teens 195
Expect to Hear This from Your Teen 196
Verbal Defense with School-Aged Kids 197
Best Bet: Set Limits Immediately! 197
Parental Verbal Control 197
Best Bets: Ask Your Child If She Wants to Go Somewhere with
You
198
Verbal Defense with Pre-Schoolers 198
Verbal Defense in Utero 198
Verbal Defense with Infants and Toddlers 199
Terrible Twos Are Verbally Terrific! 199
Talking to Children Who Act Out Verbally 200
Your Best Bet: Children of This Age Crave Respect 200
Cursing Kids 201
16
Verbal Warfare with Specific People in Your Life
203
Verbal Self-Defense Techniques for Various Groups 203
Invasive Strangers 204
“Friends” 204
Enemies 205
Customer Service Representatives 205
People Entrusted with Yourself or Your Property 206
Salespeople, Store Clerks, and Realtors 207
People Who Serve You 208
People Who Don't Speak Your Language 211
Professionals and Authority Figures 212
Verbally Toxic Employers 212
Verbal Medical and Dental Disasters 213
Page xv
Part 5:
Verbal Combat Against Verbal Abusers
215
17
Verbal Combat Against Annoying Verbal Abusers
217
Mumble Jumble 217
Sonic Boomers! 218
Meek, Weak, and Squeak 219
Baby-Voiced and Cutsie-Wootsie 219
Where to Direct a Person with an Annoying Voice 221
The Monotonous Drone 222
The Fast Talker 223
Name-Dropper 223
The Know-It-All 224
SlangGangers 225
Conversation Hogs 226
Repeat, Repeating, Repeaters 226
Wordy Ones 227
The Whiner 227
18
Verbal Combat Against Painful Verbal Abusers
229
Verbal Abuse Can Actually Make You Nauseous! 229
The Verbally Dead 230
Verbal Vomiters 231
Sugary Sweet Phonies 232
Poor-Poor Me 233
“Fibbers” 234
*%#&@ Cussers! 234
Me, Me, Me 235
The Anointed One Has Spoken! 236
19
Verbal Combat Against Dangerous Verbal Abusers
239
PROCEED WITH EXTREME CAUTION! 239
Lambs to Lions 240
Control Freaks 240
Backstabbing Enviers 241
Hitting-Below-the-Belt Abusers 242
Verbal Interrogators 243
Fanatics and Zealots 244
Yes-Yes Do-Nothings 245
The

post was too long read more at your own risk

 ________________________________
[Mar 26,2008 12:31am - Mucko ""]
[img]
[img]
[img]
[img]
[img]
 _____________________________________
[Mar 26,2008 12:41am - Mike Pile  ""]
dance, puppets
 ________________________________________
[Mar 26,2008 8:29am - DestroyYouAlot ""]
RICH HORROR IS RAVIOLIS

LOL
 ____________________________________
[Mar 26,2008 9:07am - RichHorror ""]
I remember when we were friends. No I don't.
 _________________________________________
[Mar 26,2008 12:37pm - DestroyYouAlot ""]
Don't be like that, pookums.
 _____________________________________
[Mar 26,2008 12:38pm - RichHorror ""]
I like farting a lot.
 ______________________________________
[Mar 26,2008 5:30pm - Hungtableed  ""]

mortalis said:
menstrual_sweatpants_disco said:
Secondly, HungtaBleed is a pussy and WILL NEVER confront anybody in person with the shit he's saying here. I think everybody obviously knows this. Therefore, his opinion is totally invalid. Fuck him. Has anybody even met this clown in real life? He's useless.



he was actually pretty nice when grant and i met him at a show at that mill street brews place. least i think that was him.



I am not an inconsiderate, sarcastic asshole - I just play one on the interweb.
 ____________________________________________________
[Mar 26,2008 6:03pm - menstrual_sweatpants_disco ""]
That's the dumbest thing I've heard in a long time.

I don't think it's going to convince Rich that you're not back pedaling.
 ______________________________________
[Mar 26,2008 6:37pm - Hungtableed  ""]
Back pedaling, pack schmedeling...

I don't think I've ever had a more reasonable excuse to use this as a quote:
[img]

I sincerely feel bad for him; especially considering that he is in his 30s and still has not only no, but such a negative life, that he takes interweb insults so seriously. Coming from someone who doesn't hesitate to insult people/ideas/bands/etc. that he doesn't like, I would suggest that he grow some pubes and learn to take a joke and/or some criticism...I mean, it should be expected from someone who we all know is willing to take it...if you know what I mean.
 ____________________________________
[Mar 26,2008 6:42pm - fleshfries ""]
Who are you to criticize him?
 ______________________________________
[Mar 26,2008 6:44pm - Hungtableed  ""]
Considering that he not only sucks dildos but also tries to put them in his ass, does it really matter who I am?
 ____________________________________
[Mar 26,2008 7:30pm - fleshfries ""]
Well actually...him sucking dildos has nothing to do with it, so I don't see where you're coming from on this one...
 ______________________________________
[Mar 26,2008 8:48pm - Hungtableed  ""]

fleshfries said:Well actually...him sucking dildos has nothing to do with it, so I don't see where you're coming from on this one...


hmmmmphhhfff.
Apparently flechfries either lacks reading comprehension skills or he has a similar video of himself sucking a rubber dick like it's a cock. I assume the later... Nice way to tell everyone that you soooo desire to suck dick that you're willing to suck silicone replicas. Fag, errrrrrrrrr, shit - I'm no homophobe so I guess I mean - pussy. Does the PC Police here accept "pussy" as an insult?
 _____________________________
[Mar 26,2008 8:51pm - ZJD ""]
Have you ever even had a dildo in your ass? Don't hate.
 _____________________________
[Mar 26,2008 8:53pm - ZJD ""]
Also, repeatedly watching MSD come into frame and cross his arm over is now funnier to me than watching Rich.
 __________________________________________
[Mar 26,2008 8:55pm - DaveFromTheGrave ""]

Hungtableed said:

hmmmmphhhfff.
Apparently flechfries either lacks reading comprehension skills or he has a similar video of himself sucking a rubber dick like it's a cock. I assume the later... Nice way to tell everyone that you soooo desire to suck dick that you're willing to suck silicone replicas. Fag, errrrrrrrrr, shit - I'm no homophobe so I guess I mean - pussy. Does the PC Police here accept "pussy" as an insult?



blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
 __________________________________
[Mar 26,2008 8:59pm - Niccolai ""]
I'll suck all ya dicks right fuckin now you homos.

Fact.
 _____________________________________
[Mar 26,2008 10:06pm - fleshfries ""]

Hungtableed said:hmmmmphhhfff.
Apparently flechfries either lacks reading comprehension skills or he has a similar video of himself sucking a rubber dick like it's a cock. I assume the later... Nice way to tell everyone that you soooo desire to suck dick that you're willing to suck silicone replicas. Fag, errrrrrrrrr, shit - I'm no homophobe so I guess I mean - pussy. Does the PC Police here accept "pussy" as an insult?



I may lack reading comprehension skills, but I surpass you in grammar skills!

Fact.
 ___________________________________
[Mar 26,2008 10:13pm - Niccolai ""]
Remember when RTTP was a cool place? You know, before everyone had their period over literacy...
 ____________________________________
[Mar 26,2008 10:44pm - demondave ""]
[img]
 _________________________________________
[Mar 26,2008 11:31pm - DestroyYouAlot ""]

ZJD said:Also, repeatedly watching MSD come into frame and cross his arm over is now funnier to me than watching Rich.


Dat's da troof.
 ______________________________
[Mar 26,2008 11:40pm - ZJD ""]
You can't see but I picture his legs crossed like a classy lady. Like Barbara Walters.
 ________________________________________
[Mar 26,2008 11:56pm - The Revealer  ""]
That's a dildo? I thought it was a bottle of seasonal beer.
 _______________________________
[Mar 27,2008 8:50am - Mucko ""]

Hungtableed said:Considering that he not only sucks dildos but also tries to put them in his ass, does it really matter who I am?


You should just come to a show and hang out. Bury all this bullshit. I'll buy you and Rich a beer.
 ____________________________________
[Mar 27,2008 9:27am - GodlessRob ""]
Things we learned from this post:
Rich will suck a dildo to get his friends to laugh - big shocker!
Mike will post the most idiotic, "shocking" shit to make his friends and us cringe in disgust and laugh - no really?
Hungtableed - thinks Rich is gay
The Rev - I think - was only joking and Rich took it wrong
Mucko - has the Anarchist Cookbook along with an number literary works on his hard drive - kudos
Fleshfries - has a point, who are we really to criticize anyone else - no one is perfect
Dave From The Grave - likes to say Blah Blah Blah - allot
Niccolai - will suck all of our dix cause we is homos - (no grammar police please, I wrote that like that on purpose) speaking of which...
Fleshfries - is a grammatical wizard - what a strange compliment - "why yes he does have good grammar"
DestroyAlot - has got da proof
ZJD - Likes to picture Mike with his legs crossed like Barbara Walters - uhh what?
The Reavealer - can't tell the difference between a dildo and a bottle of seasonal beer.
Me - I am like that guy in Creepshow - I am a germaphobe - I am actually glad to know that Rich sanitizes that thing.

OK Boys and Girls now that we learned something, can we please let this die. I know it will never happen, but it should. It's over and done with. Seriously, can anyone of us say we haven't done something stoopid either at the behest of our friends or for the benefit of our friends, to get them to laugh? I would venture a guess and say almost all of us have done something along those lines. I am not kissing anyone's ass, nor would I ever. Rich not only makes it a habit of making an ass out of himself to make us laugh, but he is in a group of limited people who try and do something for this "scene" and for people to over shadow what he does, over a retarded thing like this, is fucked.
OK OK OK. I get it. Rich sucked a dildo...
At least it was clean!
 __________________________________________
[Mar 27,2008 9:31am - corpus_colostomy ""]
one thing that may not have been addressed in this thread was the movement of richard's right hand as he retracted the phalloid...

:ralphie:
 ___________________________________
[Mar 27,2008 11:25am - Niccolai ""]

GodlessRob said:
Niccolai - will suck all of our dix cause we is homos - (no grammar police please, I wrote that like that on purpose)



damn straight.
 _____________________________________
[Mar 27,2008 12:37pm - fleshfries ""]
[img]
 ___________________________________
[Mar 27,2008 12:46pm - Niccolai ""]
post ending in :57 pm gets their asshole licked.
 ____________________________________
[Mar 27,2008 12:57pm - narkybark ""]
It's probably not necessary but I will add that I too was posting pure silliness and have no ill will towards Mr. Rampant. My attempt at comedy fell faster than Pauly Shore's career.

But more importantly, does my post end in :57pm?
 __________________________________
[Mar 27,2008 3:19pm - Niccolai ""]
Get your asshole ready man.
 __________________________________
[Mar 27,2008 3:44pm - DYA/NLI  ""]

Niccolai said:Get your asshole ready man.


[img]

LIKE DIS?
 ___________________________________________
[May 19,2008 10:33pm - Miss Meggly nli  ""]

menstrual_sweatpants_disco said:[img]


Chubby checker, that's one mean twist. I heard you were racist but that is clearly a black cock.



 _______________________________________
[May 19,2008 10:37pm - the_reverend ""]
did you break my site again!!?
 ______________________________________
[May 20,2008 2:01am - the_reverend ""]
fixed... again...
 ____________________________________________________
[May 20,2008 6:58pm - menstrual_sweatpants_disco ""]

Miss%20Meggly%20nli said:Chubby checker, that's one mean twist. I heard you were racist but that is clearly a black cock.



It's purple. Clearly your kindergarten teacher did a bad job. :spineyes:
 _______________________________________
[Mar 10,2012 5:37pm - Wigger Nancy  ""]
enter a quick response username filter message
 ____________________________________
[Nov 8,2014 10:16am - anonymous  ""]
Methamedmine
 _____________________________________
[Jun 4,2016 11:18pm - LindaWando  ""]
Good suggestions - I was enlightened by the facts - Does someone know where I could possibly acquire a sample a form version to type on ?
 ____________________________________
[Jun 5,2016 4:08am - AbbieMucci  ""]
Hello LindaWando! my work colleague filled out a template a form form with this link http://goo.gl/yG6mjR

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