So I tried to shave my balls this weekend...[views:12952][posts:70]__________________________________ [Sep 5,2007 9:10am - starmummy ""] ...and ended up nicking my sac twice. I was using an electric razor. How do people do this without cutting themselves? I would never put a regular razor anywhere near my hermit, but the electric razor didn't seem to work either. The thought of wax or nair makes me gag, so that is out of the question. Any suggestions? |
| _______________________________________ [Sep 5,2007 9:11am - shr3dd1ngsw3d3 ""] hedge-clippers all the way. |
| ____________________________ [Sep 5,2007 9:27am - pam ""] I liked this story better when it was Jay Raper and a pair of scissors. |
| __________________________________ [Sep 5,2007 9:29am - starmummy ""] pam said:I liked this story better when it was Jay Raper and a pair of scissors. I don't know who Jay Raper is and scissors seemed like the worst choice. |
| _______________________________________ [Sep 5,2007 9:38am - shr3dd1ngsw3d3 ""] I think those old "blade" razors would be the worst choice... Like a knife on butter. |
| _____________________________________ [Sep 5,2007 9:47am - the_reverend ""] shaving with butter? how Seinfeld |
| __________________________________________ [Sep 5,2007 10:16am - thegreatspaldino ""] a rabid wombat is the best... take it from me. my balls are as smooth as MSD's pick up lines at a local kindegarten |
| ______________________________ [Sep 5,2007 10:35am - Yeti ""] "oh my god they're as smooth as eggs" |
| ___________________________________ [Sep 5,2007 10:53am - starmummy ""] Yeti said:"oh my god they're as smooth as eggs" I'll show you at lunch. |
| ______________________________________ [Sep 5,2007 11:21am - the_reverend ""] and that was the beginning of a real sticky situation. |
| ________________________________________ [Sep 5,2007 11:32am - DestroyYouAlot ""] I can't say I'm much for personal grooming "downstairs," but I have a Wahl beard trimmer that a) I shave my face with (my skin hates razors), and b) has been used to good effect on my girlfriend's "undisclosed location"; one could surmise that it would work on a nutsack as well. |
| __________________________________________ [Sep 5,2007 11:46am - largefreakatzero ""] Electric on the shaft and regular razor and shaving cream on the sac. It's a 2 part process, but works like a charm. |
| ___________________________________ [Sep 5,2007 11:48am - starmummy ""] largefreakatzero said:Electric on the shaft and regular razor and shaving cream on the sac. It's a 2 part process, but works like a charm. How do you not cut your sac? Mine's all bumpy and shit, not like freaky bumpy but you know, those little bumps that the hair grows out of. I would think when I was done, I would nick myself so many times that my sac would just fall off. |
| ________________________________________ [Sep 5,2007 11:58am - DestroyYouAlot ""] Scrotal scabs are sexy. |
| __________________________________________ [Sep 5,2007 12:15pm - largefreakatzero ""] starmummy said:largefreakatzero said:Electric on the shaft and regular razor and shaving cream on the sac. It's a 2 part process, but works like a charm. How do you not cut your sac? Mine's all bumpy and shit, not like freaky bumpy but you know, those little bumps that the hair grows out of. I would think when I was done, I would nick myself so many times that my sac would just fall off. I'm definitely not the foremost expert on nut sacs (talk to Rev. Aaron about that), but mine isn't too "bumpy" so I don't cut myself too often. The wife likes the clean shave. |
| ___________________________________ [Sep 5,2007 12:21pm - starmummy ""] largefreakatzero said:starmummy said:largefreakatzero said:Electric on the shaft and regular razor and shaving cream on the sac. It's a 2 part process, but works like a charm. How do you not cut your sac? Mine's all bumpy and shit, not like freaky bumpy but you know, those little bumps that the hair grows out of. I would think when I was done, I would nick myself so many times that my sac would just fall off. I'm definitely not the foremost expert on nut sacs (talk to Rev. Aaron about that), but mine isn't too "bumpy" so I don't cut myself too often. The wife likes the clean shave. Maybe I just have freak balls? |
| ________________________________________ [Sep 5,2007 12:28pm - DestroyYouAlot ""] largefreakatzero said:I'm definitely not the foremost expert on nut sacs (talk to Rev. Aaron about that), but mine isn't too "bumpy" so I don't cut myself too often. The wife likes the clean shave. I actually used to trim the jungle back a bit, but for some reason my lady likes it au natural. I don't understand it, personally, as I have freakishly long pubes. We're talking 2, 3 inches on average; it's like a miniature Billy Gibbons down there. I'd think it'd be like diving face-first into a Douglas fir, but she apparently doesn't mind. *shrug* |
| ____________________________ [Sep 5,2007 1:25pm - mOe ""] i've never had a problem with my grooming |
| _________________________________________ [Sep 5,2007 1:35pm - Dwellingsickness ""] Am I the only one that thinks it is weird that grown (for the most part) men are sharing ball sac grooming tips on rttp? |
| _______________________________________ [Sep 5,2007 1:57pm - shr3dd1ngsw3d3 ""] Thanks for painting a picture DestroyYouAlot... I must go clean the vomit from my computer area. |
| _______________________________________ [Sep 5,2007 2:01pm - shr3dd1ngsw3d3 ""] [img] |
| _______________________________________ [Sep 5,2007 2:14pm - DestroyYouAlot ""] shr3dd1ngsw3d3 said:Thanks for painting a picture DestroyYouAlot... I must go clean the vomit from my computer area. I was worried no one was gonna be grossed out by that. I thank you; you've restored my faith in humanity. Or at least my faith in my own ability to gross people out. |
| _______________________________________ [Sep 5,2007 2:15pm - DestroyYouAlot ""] And BTW: Slingshot Borat is an appropriate addition to any discussion. That's science. You can't argue with science. |
| __________________________________________ [Sep 5,2007 4:59pm - FuckIsMySignature ""] "just soak em gasoline and toss a match... that'll get them critters right off." |
| _______________________________________ [Sep 5,2007 5:02pm - shr3dd1ngsw3d3 ""] DestroyYouAlot said:And BTW: Slingshot Borat is an appropriate addition to any discussion. That's science. You can't argue with science. Yes, the more Borat's in the world, the better that world will be. |
| ____________________________________ [Sep 5,2007 5:35pm - brandon... ""] Make sure you do it in the shower, use soap. Not too rough, shouldnt be a big deal |
| __________________________________ [Sep 5,2007 6:16pm - dyingmuse ""] Regular razor all the way definitely use soap. pull some tention on your sac so you don't catch any shrivel/wrinkles, that's how you get cut nigga. LOL excellent thread RTTY health and beauty tips by metal guys ha ha ha ha!!!!!! |
| ___________________________________ [Sep 5,2007 6:20pm - Kinslayer ""] Jay Raper didn't use scissors; he used my teeth! |
| ____________________________________________ [Sep 5,2007 8:47pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] dyingmuse said:pull some tention on your sac so you don't catch any shrivel/wrinkles This is a crucial part of scrotal folicle maintenance. If you just go right at it, you're gonna get FUCKED. I use a beard trimmer to cut back the thick foliage before I get to the more detailed areas. A very vital aspect of this technique is to not let the beard trimmer touch the surface of your scrotum; it can go well, but the risk is high, so I just graze over the surface as if to weedwhack, then apply necessary tension to flatten out the scrotey scrote enough to get a smooth shave. It may take a few tries to get it all though, so don't rush it...the consequences are undesirable. That was too elaborate given the subject matter. I need a life! |
| _______________________________ [Sep 5,2007 8:57pm - Ryan_M ""] MarkFuckingRichards said:A very vital aspect of this technique is to not let the beard trimmer touch the surface of your scrotum....I just graze over the surface as if to weedwhack This is pretty much how I get the job done - I just trim the shit, my nutsack is too wrinkly/fleshy to totally shave it off, I'll end up nipping my sac to ribbons! |
| ____________________________________________ [Sep 5,2007 9:03pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] SAC RIBBONS. |
| ______________________________ [Sep 5,2007 9:10pm - Hoser ""] What fucking kind of real man tries to shave his balls??? That's what I wanna know.... What would possess you to commit such a heinous atrocity? |
| ________________________________ [Sep 5,2007 9:11pm - sxealex ""] this thread is humorous |
| ____________________________________________ [Sep 5,2007 9:16pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Hoser said:What fucking kind of real man tries to shave his balls??? That's what I wanna know.... What would possess you to commit such a heinous atrocity? It's comfortable, and even more comfortable when they're in a ladyfriend's mouth. I'm pretty sure my girlfriend wouldn't want to put hairy balls in her mouth. |
| ______________________________ [Sep 5,2007 9:25pm - Hoser ""] I'm married...either she gets hairy balls in her mouth or she moves out of my house....... She has a choice....and the answer is Alex? |
| ____________________________________________ [Sep 5,2007 9:29pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Hoser said:I'm married...either she gets hairy balls in her mouth or she moves out of my house....... She has a choice....and the answer is Alex? Hahahaha, amazing. You win on that one. |
| ______________________________ [Sep 5,2007 9:29pm - Hoser ""] By the way...what can humanly be comfortable about scraping any hard metal object up against the most sensitive part of the male anatomy? If that's comfortable to you, Mark......I'd hate to see your reaction to a punch in the face. Stop being metro -sexual faggots and come to the disgusting reality that you are men!!! Did your forefathers shave their nuts? If so, you were bred from a line of fags. What would your grandparents say? |
| ____________________________________________ [Sep 5,2007 9:36pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] I get so wet when I get punched in the face...I mean...what? Anywho, razors are designed not to hurt you if used properly, so it's not too hard to get the job done unless you're the Tazmanian Devil or have Parkinson's Disease. Sometimes I like to feel a breeze up the shorts, air out the boys, without the hassle of my manbush causing wind resistance, especially because I have balls that like to stick to my leg when it's hot out. And these balls am straight, dammit. |
| ______________________________ [Sep 5,2007 10:00pm - Lamp ""] Shaving your pubes is a great way to kill time while taking a dump. Sometimes you get bored of reading the same books over and over again. |
| _____________________________________________ [Sep 5,2007 10:03pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] I don't think I could ever shave and poop at the same time. That spells disaster. |
| __________________________________________ [Sep 5,2007 10:07pm - Dwellingsickness ""] DOn't think I'd ever let a chick shave me ,Much less try it myself... au natural all the way |
| ___________________________________ [Sep 5,2007 10:33pm - dyingmuse ""] This is the best thread ever, Hoser made this thread awesome! HA ha ha ha ha ha ha h!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| _________________________________ [Sep 5,2007 10:33pm - sxealex ""] my poops take less than one minute. |
| ___________________________________ [Sep 5,2007 10:37pm - dyingmuse ""] My poop lasts anywhere from 15 to 60 minutes, depending on what I am reading. I look forward to my alone time on the shitter after and during work. lol |
| _____________________________ [Sep 6,2007 2:14am - Lamp ""] MarkFuckingRichards said:I don't think I could ever shave and poop at the same time. That spells disaster. It's not like I get up right away. I like to sit for a few minutes and "settle". |
| _________________________________________ [Sep 6,2007 8:53am - largefreakatzero ""] While being a lady pleaser, I've also found that a cleanly chaved sac greatly reduces ball-itchiness. FACT. |
| ______________________________ [Sep 6,2007 10:36am - Yeti ""] MarkFuckingRichards said:Anywho, razors are designed not to hurt you if used properly, so it's not too hard to get the job done unless you're the Tazmanian Devil or have Parkinson's Disease. Sometimes I like to feel a breeze up the shorts, air out the boys, without the hassle of my manbush causing wind resistance, especially because I have balls that like to stick to my leg when it's hot out. And these balls am straight, dammit. funniest post yet. |
| ______________________________ [Sep 6,2007 10:37am - Yeti ""] dyingmuse said:My poop lasts anywhere from 15 to 60 minutes, depending on what I am reading. I look forward to my alone time on the shitter after and during work. lol absolutely. i don't understand how anyone can take less than 15 minutes. i wouldn't feel properly emptied or cleansed. |
| ______________________________________ [Sep 6,2007 10:43am - the_reverend ""] http://www.playvisions.us/wolthuis.aspx?productid=93&size=medium if I spend more than 15 minutes in the bathroom my legs fall asleep. |
| ______________________________ [Sep 6,2007 10:48am - Yeti ""] the same thing happens to me, but i just use that as an excuse to sit there longer. |
| ___________________________________ [Sep 6,2007 10:50am - starmummy ""] I just wanted to report that thanks to (some of) your advice and other online research, my cleanly shaven cock n' balls no longer resemble Corey Feldman's head at the end of Friday the 13th part 4. |
| ________________________________________ [Sep 6,2007 11:16am - DestroyYouAlot ""] Yeah, now it looks like Jason. [img] |
| ___________________________________ [Sep 6,2007 11:18am - starmummy ""] [img] |
| ________________________________________ [Sep 6,2007 11:31am - DestroyYouAlot ""] [img] |
| ________________________________________ [Sep 6,2007 11:33am - DestroyYouAlot ""] [img] |
| ________________________________________ [Sep 6,2007 11:35am - DestroyYouAlot ""] bennyhillifier |
| ____________________________________________________ [Sep 6,2007 12:20pm - menstrual_sweatpants_disco ""] Just use the Flowbee. |
| _____________________________________________ [Sep 6,2007 12:33pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Yeti said:dyingmuse said:My poop lasts anywhere from 15 to 60 minutes, depending on what I am reading. I look forward to my alone time on the shitter after and during work. lol absolutely. i don't understand how anyone can take less than 15 minutes. i wouldn't feel properly emptied or cleansed. I've heard it's actually bad for your prostate if you're on the shitter for more than an average of 10 minutes; of course that's 10 minutes of applied pressure. Sometimes it's nice to just enjoy the fact that you just squeezed out a few brown babies. Plus it's a good way to avoid doing work, haha. |
| ______________________________ [Sep 6,2007 12:43pm - Yeti ""] besides sex and masturbation, i am pretty sure that every single thing a guy does is bad for his prostate. including breathing. |
| _____________________________________________ [Sep 6,2007 12:56pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] I'm just gonna get rid of mine. Why not, ya know? |
| ___________________________________ [Sep 7,2007 12:43am - starmummy ""] Hoser said:I'm married...either she gets hairy balls in her mouth or she moves out of my house....... She has a choice....and the answer is Alex? Oh really? She just told me she likes my shaved balls better. |
| __________________________________________ [Sep 7,2007 12:51am - Dwellingsickness ""] now every time I look at this thread title, I think of "Dear Penis" by Rodney Carrington |
| ____________________________________ [Sep 7,2007 1:19am - AUTOPSY_666 ""] dyingmuse said:RTTY health and beauty tips Return To The YMCA! |
| _______________________________________ [Sep 7,2007 2:55am - DestroyYouAlot ""] LOLing at the placement of this thread just a minute ago. [img] |
| ____________________________ [Sep 8,2007 5:14pm - pam ""] HAHAHAH |
| _____________________________________ [Sep 8,2007 5:32pm - the_reverend ""] did it lastnight. mission accomplished. I should hang a banner. |
| ________________________________________ [Sep 9,2007 12:40am - DestroyYouAlot ""] BTW, re: Thread Title YODA: Use The Trimmer. Now....feel it. Concentrate. LUKE: Oh, no. We'll never get it bald now. YODA: So certain are you. Always with you it cannot be done. Hear you nothing that I say? LUKE: Master, trimming my sideburns is one thing. This is totally different. YODA: No! No different! Only different in your mind. You must unlearn what you have learned. LUKE: All right, I'll give it a try. YODA: No! Try not. Do. Or, do not. There is no try. LUKE: I can't. It's too hairy. YODA: Hairiness matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my bushy pubes, do you? Hm? Mmmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Trimmer. And a powerful ally it is. Wahl creates it, sells it in stores. Its shaving energy surrounds us and shears us. Hairless beings are we....not this hirsute matter. You must feel the Trimmer around you. Here, between you...me...the tree...my legs...everywhere! Yes, even between your balls and your ass! LUKE: You want the impossible. I don't...I don't believe it. YODA: That is why you fail. |
| ________________________________________ [Sep 9,2007 12:41am - DestroyYouAlot ""] [img] |
| ______________________________________ [Sep 9,2007 12:50am - the_reverend ""] im not a doctor, but if you open up your ballsack, there is another sac inside that looks like yoda. |
| _________________________________ [Sep 9,2007 9:54am - Dankill ""] Use a mach 3 Don't press. Gentle strokes in both directions. I've never had a problem with this. How the hell did you cut yourself? And Mark stated the obvious reasons why this is a good idea. Comfort and the ladies |
| ___________________________________ [Sep 10,2007 1:16am - starmummy ""] I nicked it using an electric razor. I have since learned my lesson and just shaved them again yesterday. They are feeling good. They are happy balls now. |