worst email EVER[views:1678][posts:17]_________________________________ [Dec 7,2003 3:49pm - succubus ""] From: Mrs. Serena Jones PLEASE ENDEAVOUR TO USED IT FOR THE CHILDREN OF GOD. I am the above named person from Kuwait. I am married to Dr.Harry Jones who worked with Kuwait embassy in Ivory Coast for nine years before he died in the year 2000.We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. Before his death we were both born again Christians.Since his death I decided not to re-marry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against.When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of 10Million Dollars (Ten Million United State Dollars) with one finance/security company in Amsterderm Holland. Presently, this money is still with the Security Company. Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next three months due to cancer problem. Though what disturbs me most is my stroke sickness. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to church or better still a christian individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct here in. I want a church that will use this funds to fund churches, orphanages and widows propagating the word of God and to ensure that the house of God is maintained. The Bible made us to understand that Blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don't want my husband's hard earned money to be misused by unbelievers. I don't want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly manner. Hence the reason for taking this bold decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace. I don't need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health because of the presence of my husband's relatives around me always. I don't want them to know about this development. With God all things are possible. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the Finance/Security Company in Amsterderm Holland. I will also issue you a letter of authority that will prove you as the original- beneficiary of this funds. I want you and the church to always pray for me because the lord is my shephard. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life. Any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing for a church or christian individual for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein. Hoping to hearing from you. N.B-PLEASE I WILL ADVICE YOU TO GIVE THE LAWYER IN CHARGE A CALL IN HOLLAND IMMEDIATELY, HE DOES EVERYTHING ON MY BEHALF AND HE'S VERY UNDERSTANDING AND I BELIEVE HE WILL LEAD YOU TO YOUR SUCCESS IN JESUS name. NAME: Richard Gordon Tel: 0031630655043 Email: richardgordon20@netscape.net Remain blessed in the name of the Lord. Yours in Christ, Mrs. Serena Jones * This message is intended only for specified recipients. If you are not the intended recipient you are notified that disclosing, copying, distributing, or taking any action in reliance on the contents of this information is strictly prohibited. This communication represents the originator's personal views, which may not reflect those of The Bank of Georgia. If you received this email in error, please immediately notify postmaster@bankofgeorgia.com. * |
| _______________________________ [Dec 7,2003 4:13pm - George ""] i was smoking a cigarette at the bus stop in coply, and some woman first tells me that smoking is bad for me. i say, yeah im aware. then she tells me i should quit smoking and turn to god. jesus can save me and all the shit. i start laughing and ignoring her. she's telling me about how im going to burn in hell for all eternity and jesus can help me. i tell her to fuck off and she goes away. that was the highlight of last week. |
| ___________________________________ [Dec 8,2003 3:54am - MyDeadDoll ""] i get at least one of those emails a day. it fucking pisses me off. |
| _____________________________________ [Dec 8,2003 8:53am - the_reverend ""] blame jesus. that dick. |
| ________________________________________ [Dec 8,2003 9:20am - 5 Minutes Hate ""] We were jamming last weekend and I had these three old dudes dressed in coats and ties come knocking on my door. They were trying to sell me these new bible magazines and shit, it was pretty funny. He asked me if I've read the bible so I say yeah, I've read a few of them. He says Oh so you're a church person. I say no, what I've read in the bible isn't any different than any other fairy tale I've read, plus I've researched other religions and I found that the house of satan is where I belong. These guys were freaking out, it was hilarious. As they walked down my driveway and we started playing again I could just imagine what they were thinking. That was fun! I should have had them in for a beer! |
| _____________________________________ [Dec 8,2003 9:28am - the_reverend ""] look, that's not jesus's fault there. don't go blaming him for that one. |
| ________________________________________ [Dec 8,2003 9:39am - 5 Minutes Hate ""] the_reverend said:look, that's not jesus's fault there. don't go blaming him for that one. I know Rev, I went with the old "don't shoot the messenger" theory, he's just doing his duty to the lord or something! |
| _____________________________________ [Dec 8,2003 11:51am - Wee...Bink! ""] it should be donated to the Reverend and his ministry here at RTTP.. We are a worthy cause. |
| ________________________________ [Dec 8,2003 10:15pm - retzam ""] What's wrong with Jesus?? I mean, don't get me wrong (or right I guess if you are Christian) I am not Christian, but seriously, I like Jesus. I also like Judas. I like the bible (well, I have read the first 4 or so chapters of the book of Psalms and it was quite interesting, a good story, a novel if you will). I have nothing against Jesus. He was born, worked as a carpenter, and claimed to be the sun of god. Was he? It is stupid to give a definate answer either way, because it is completely unclear whether it was true or not. People who critisize him for this claim are in reality inordinately ignorant in the fact that they have no proof either. They say, "Give me one proof that he actually was the son of god", I say "Give me one proof that he wasn't". Hell, give me one proof of either/or and I will be impressed. Also, he barely even made that religion. It was mostly the apostles. So, next time you guys feel like critisizing Christianity and all of its practicers' claims, keep in mind that you are being ignorant, and that the most witty thing to say would be to not say anything at all. And if you still decide to say shit, then say it about Peter. That is the most philosophical thing I have ever written. |
| _______________________________________ [Dec 8,2003 10:22pm - DeOdiumMortis ""] Yeah, fuck the apostles. New Ascendancy song coming soon: "Fuck the Apostles." It'll sound like Dope's "Fuck the Police." All the meathead morons will love it. |
| ________________________________ [Dec 8,2003 10:26pm - retzam ""] DeOdiumMortis said:Yeah, fuck the apostles. New Ascendancy song coming soon: "Fuck the Apostles." It'll sound like Dope's "Fuck the Police." All the meathead morons will love it. I like the word though. "Apostle". It has a nice sound. I also like "Martyr". How come all the cool sounding words are religious words?? |
| ______________________________________ [Dec 8,2003 10:29pm - the_reverend ""] I'll show you my peter. |
| ________________________________ [Dec 8,2003 10:35pm - George ""] fuck god and fuck jesus WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE:yoda: |
| ______________________________________ [Dec 8,2003 10:36pm - the_reverend ""] george, when did you join immolation? |
| ________________________________ [Dec 8,2003 10:43pm - George ""] right after you joined hootie and the blowfish rockin the triangle |
| ___________________________________ [Dec 9,2003 2:50am - MyDeadDoll ""] ok, so i just got this email: "to err is human, to forgive divine Lose weight while you sleep As seen on CBS,NBS The Today Show and Oprah - Body Fat Loss..............up 82% - Wrinkle Reduction........up 61% - Energy Level................up 84% - Sexual Potency............up 75% - Memory.......................up 62% - Muscle Strength...........up 88% As seen on Oprah - Look Here Daily Proverbs fools rush in where angels fear to tread a good man is hard to find spare the rod and spoil the child to the victor goes the spoils" what do proverbs and weight loss have in common?? i'm so lost here |
| _______________________________________ [Jan 9,2004 11:34pm - DeOdiumMortis ""] From: Peter I. Bunch Date: Friday, January 09, 2004 4:25 AM Subject: HEY fattie...lose the weight I feel so proud. |
| ____________________________________ [Jan 9,2004 11:57pm - MyDeadDoll ""] you're fat and i need a bigger penis... Introducing VP-RX Pills NO.1 Penis Enlargement Pill On The Market! * Gain 3+ Full Inches In Length * Expand Your Penis Up To 30% Thicker * Stop Premature Ejaculation! * Produce Stronger Erections * 100% Safe To Take, With No Side Effects * Fast Distribution Worldwide * Sold Over 1.2 Million Bottles! * No Pumps! No Surgery! No Exercises! |