Cancel your credit cards before you die[views:4588][posts:18]__________________________________ [May 30,2007 1:42pm - Niccolai ""] Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die. This is so priceless, customer service being what it is today. My great aunt died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February & March for their annual service charges on her credit card, & added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, now somewhere around $60.00. Here's the exchange: Me: "I am calling to tell you she died in January." Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees & charges still apply." Me: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections." Citibank: "Since it is 2 months past due, it already has been." Me: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?" Citibank: "Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!" Me: "Do you think God will be mad at her?" (I really liked this part!!!!) Citibank: "Excuse me?" Me: "Did you just get what I was telling you the part about her being dead?" Citibank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor." (Duh!) (Supervisor gets on the phone): Me: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in January." Citibank: "The account was never closed, so the late fees and charges still apply." (This must be a phrase taught by the bank!) Me: "Do you mean you want to collect from her estate?" Citibank: (Stammering) "Are you her lawyer?" Me: "No, I'm her great nephew." Citibank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?" Me: "Sure." (fax number is given) After they get the fax: Citibank: "Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help." Me: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I really don't think she will care." Citibank: "Well, the late fees & charges do still apply." (What is wrong with these people?!?) Me: "Would you like her new billing address?" Citibank: "Yes, that will help." Me: " Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Plot Number 69." Citibank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!" Me: "What do you do with dead people on your planet? Citibank hangs up. |
| ________________________________________ [May 30,2007 1:45pm - DestroyYouAlot ""] Sign her up for internet pr0n. |
| ________________________________ [May 30,2007 1:56pm - Raycm ""] Thats priceless. |
| _____________________________________________ [May 30,2007 2:04pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] hahahahahaha! ridiculous! what kind of fucking bank is citibank if their "system is not set up for death?" every other bank and credit organization in the fucking world cancels accounts upon death. retards. |
| _________________________________________ [May 30,2007 2:07pm - metal_church101 ""] LOL. That is a fuckin riot with you giving them her new address. |
| __________________________________ [May 30,2007 2:34pm - SteveOTB ""] Niccolai said:Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die. This is so priceless, customer service being what it is today. My great aunt died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February & March for their annual service charges on her credit card, & added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, now somewhere around $60.00. Here's the exchange: Me: "I am calling to tell you she died in January." Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees & charges still apply." Me: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections." Citibank: "Since it is 2 months past due, it already has been." Me: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?" Citibank: "Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!" Me: "Do you think God will be mad at her?" (I really liked this part!!!!) Citibank: "Excuse me?" Me: "Did you just get what I was telling you the part about her being dead?" Citibank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor." (Duh!) (Supervisor gets on the phone): Me: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in January." Citibank: "The account was never closed, so the late fees and charges still apply." (This must be a phrase taught by the bank!) Me: "Do you mean you want to collect from her estate?" Citibank: (Stammering) "Are you her lawyer?" Me: "No, I'm her great nephew." Citibank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?" Me: "Sure." (fax number is given) After they get the fax: Citibank: "Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help." Me: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I really don't think she will care." Citibank: "Well, the late fees & charges do still apply." (What is wrong with these people?!?) Me: "Would you like her new billing address?" Citibank: "Yes, that will help." Me: " Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Plot Number 69." Citibank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!" Me: "What do you do with dead people on your planet? Citibank hangs up. Kuddos Niccolai Kuddos. I loved the part of the new address. |
| _____________________________________ [May 30,2007 2:47pm - HailAtWork ""] That was fucking priceless...I love how banks and other corporate insitutions aren't set up to deal with reality on this planet. I'd ask if they're setup to bill in the afterlife. It makes you realize how all of this shit we've build up around us doesn't matter at all. |
| ______________________________________ [May 30,2007 2:54pm - swamplorddvm ""] [img] I will have my bond! I will have my bond! |
| ______________________________ [May 30,2007 3:07pm - Yeti ""] give this man a standing ovation. |
| ____________________________________ [May 30,2007 3:09pm - Kinslayer ""] D, nice usage of the Shylock. Yee Olde Merchant of Venice...great book. But yeah, funny exchange there, Niccolai. Citibank sucks. |
| ___________________________________________ [May 30,2007 4:20pm - jesus_of_nazareth ""] She lived a good life. I'll pay for it with my trust fund money. |
| __________________________________ [May 30,2007 7:21pm - Niccolai ""] This wasn't my actual conversation, I just copied and pasted it from another site. You all should have known better, I obviously wouldn't be the relative to call the credit agency, I'd be the one to steal the credit card and buy a year subscription to whoreabuse.com with it. |
| ________________________________________ [May 30,2007 7:29pm - DestroyYouAlot ""] Niccolai said:This wasn't my actual conversation, I just copied and pasted it from another site. You all should have known better, I obviously wouldn't be the relative to call the credit agency, I'd be the one to steal the credit card and buy a year subscription to whoreabuse.com with it. As I advised. |
| ______________________________ [May 30,2007 7:34pm - Lamp ""] You should have put it in italics or something if that was the case. Funny shit though, I laughed out loud. |
| ______________________________________ [May 30,2007 8:12pm - GoatCatalyst ""] astounding! |
| __________________________________ [May 30,2007 8:15pm - rotivore ""] cancel yer life before you credit card. |
| ________________________________ [May 30,2007 8:50pm - NIGGER ""] That rocks. |
| ___________________________________ [May 30,2007 9:05pm - dyingmuse ""] That was amazing!!!!! |
| ___________________________________ [May 31,2007 3:35am - DEATH2ALL ""] Everyone needs to get as many cards as possible, max em all out & refuse to pay. The entire planet. Fuck these bankers. |