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Tell your bad roommate stories

[views:11693][posts:70]
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[Aug 8,2008 8:46pm - douchebag_patrol ""]

bennyhillifier
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[Aug 8,2008 8:59pm - xanonymousx ""]
wow
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[Aug 8,2008 9:01pm - xanonymousx ""]
i thought i was a bad roommate for emptying my guts out on the floor one night...
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[Aug 8,2008 9:07pm - SlypKnawt ""]
hahahaha stupid cat
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[Aug 8,2008 9:22pm - DaveFromTheGrave ""]
fecal lasagna
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[Aug 9,2008 10:10am - thuringwethil ""]
hahaha

DON'T OPEN THE FRIDGE!
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[Aug 9,2008 4:05pm - DestroyYouAlot ""]
AWESOME. Reminds me of, well, practically everyone I've ever lived with. *headdesk*
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[Aug 9,2008 5:51pm - death fiend sli sli sli  ""]
apparently a buddy of mines roomates found him one morning half naked and passed out on his laptop in a pile of puke, apparently he was jerking off and passed out, then puked all over everything, lulz
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[Aug 9,2008 11:00pm - spacedoc ""]
Say what you want about the naked dude, but he has great taste in booze... and one killer nutsack
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[Aug 10,2008 12:04am - DaveFromTheGrave ""]

spacedoc said:Say what you want about the naked dude, but he has great taste in booze... and one killer nutsack

This man knows his nutsacks.
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[Aug 10,2008 12:44am - Samantha ""]
My old roommate was a crazy metalhead from Moscow. It was not uncommon for him and his friends to drink an entire bottle of vodka in one night. He used to get so drunk that he was incapable of walking the distance from his bed to the bathroom, so he would pee into the empty bottles laying around his room. Then, my cat would sneak in and knock over the bottles, spilling urine all over his room. His room smelled really bad. Strangely enough, the armpit smell overpowered the urine smell.
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[Aug 10,2008 6:46am - SkinSandwich ""]
Russians are allergic to deodorant.
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[Aug 10,2008 7:29am - Øystein  ""]
Like 15 years ago an ex-roomate showed up at my door and stabbed me in the fucking head then stabbed me a few more times for good measure. What a dick move.
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[Aug 10,2008 10:36am - Conservationist ""]

SkinSandwich said:Russians are allergic to deodorant.


And success in any form but being a guido rich on crime.
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[Aug 10,2008 12:00pm - DestroyYouAlot ""]

Øystein said:Like 15 years ago an ex-roomate showed up at my door and stabbed me in the fucking head then stabbed me a few more times for good measure. What a dick move.


AHHHHHHHHH-HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!@#12#! 12111111!!!

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[Aug 10,2008 1:45pm - pam ""]
My fat bitch ex-roommate once bitched at me for buying regular tampons because she had to use THREE AT THE SAME TIME for them to work.

Like it was my fault her vagina was a gaping cavernous vortex of whoredom.
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[Aug 10,2008 2:45pm - DaveFromTheGrave ""]
introduce me to her. Sounds like she's the girl who can fulfill my fantasy of putting my entire giant ham fist inside herself.
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[Aug 10,2008 2:55pm - goatcatalyst ""]
I appreciate your commitment to the sodomitical arts, Dave; but it appears you may have glanced over this red-touch bad word, Dave:



pam said:My fat bitch ex-roommate



Seventh Imperial Satanic Commandment: NO FAT CHICKS
 _____________________________
[Aug 10,2008 3:28pm - pam ""]

DaveFromTheGrave said:introduce me to her. Sounds like she's the girl who can fulfill my fantasy of putting my entire giant ham fist inside herself.


She could do it without even feeling it, she's a fucking beast. Tit-to-gut ratio: michelen man status.
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[Aug 10,2008 4:05pm - DaveFromTheGrave ""]
hahaahaahaha, you guys are fucking poets.
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[Aug 10,2008 7:55pm - SLitlist  ""]
My ex roommate was such a drunk and bitch that every time I would go to the bathroom I would put the seat down. Most of the time and when I did not she would then slam the toilet see down, especialy when she came home from a show drunk. Next she would always leave a brown filth in the tub and sink from her face make up and ? My jackpot was that ever time at that time of the month. She would leave drips of her pussy blood on the seat. Or on the edge where she would put her hand in to wipe, but at least I know in advance when I would wake up when she would be more of a bitch...
 _______________________________
[Aug 11,2008 10:50am - Yeti ""]
i am far too experienced in living with fuckhead roommates.
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[Aug 11,2008 11:28am - the_reverend ""]
ogm! cat in the fridge?!? cherry almost died when she hid in the fridge and punky had to save her with punky power.
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[Aug 11,2008 11:35am - ouchdrummer ""]
i shared a room with my gf at the time in allston, there were four other couples living there (big ass house) things kept turning up missing, and everyone kept blaming me cause they all knew each other and i was the last one to move in....
Until i found my gf stealing drugs from me that i obviously wouldve done with er anyways, then because i saw where she was putting them i checked for other things and lo and behold almost everything that went missing suddenly was found. Girls suck, roomates suck. I love living alone.

Anyone ever had a roomate use the rent money (from all of you) on hookers? I have. I was a little peaved.
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[Aug 11,2008 11:38am - c.DeAd  ""]

ouchdrummer said:
Anyone ever had a roomate use the rent money (from all of you) on hookers? I have. I was a little peaved.



Sounds like your roomate made a cameo in Grandma's Boy.
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[Aug 11,2008 11:45am - Conservationist ""]
Did you get to gangfuck the hookers at least?
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[Aug 11,2008 12:54pm - orgymaggotfeast ""]
i had two roommates from november 07 until may 08 who were just fuckin awful (nothing as bad as the video up top)
but basically, they were always late on bills and rent, the guy rarely cleaned up after himself, and was unemployed 90 percent of his time living there, his girl lost her job in january, and she did nothing but eat and sleep....

they got spare cash selling their belongings, and spent it on booze and pot, they stole booze and food from me and my girl, they would throw loud as parties when i was trying to sleep (knowing i had to get up at 6 a.m.), but then would whine about the t.v. being too loud when they were taking naps in the living room at 2 in the afternoon.

overall just giant pains in the ass
 ______________________________
[Aug 11,2008 1:02pm - Yeti ""]

orgymaggotfeast said:the guy rarely cleaned up after himself, and was unemployed 90 percent of his time living there, they got spare cash and spent it on booze and pot


boy does that sound familiar. i've only been living at my place for a month now and haven't seen the first months rent or half of the second months rent from one roommate. what the fuck is with people. if you only want to survive, it takes so little work to make ends meet and to have bills paid on time. but no, its always just a big fucking mess of half-assed excuses and "yeah i'll take care of it" with no real amount of effort being made. i fucking hate living with people, but you have to do whats necessary to live.
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[Aug 11,2008 1:04pm - ouchdrummer ""]
Granda's boy was way funnier.
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[Aug 11,2008 1:19pm - orgymaggotfeast ""]

Yeti said:
orgymaggotfeast said:the guy rarely cleaned up after himself, and was unemployed 90 percent of his time living there, they got spare cash and spent it on booze and pot


boy does that sound familiar. i've only been living at my place for a month now and haven't seen the first months rent or half of the second months rent from one roommate. what the fuck is with people. if you only want to survive, it takes so little work to make ends meet and to have bills paid on time. but no, its always just a big fucking mess of half-assed excuses and "yeah i'll take care of it" with no real amount of effort being made. i fucking hate living with people, but you have to do whats necessary to live.



yeah, it blows...
the big double edged sword is that living with roommates rarely works out, but living on your own is a pain in the ass in this economy
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[Aug 11,2008 1:28pm - ouchdrummer ""]
nope, fuck roommates. Well, i guess technically i have 30ish bands as roommates. And they are quite messy, but thankfully its my job to clean up after them so at least it gets done.
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[Aug 11,2008 1:32pm - Conservationist ""]

Yeti said:if you only want to survive, it takes so little work to make ends meet and to have bills paid on time. but no, its always just a big fucking mess of half-assed excuses and "yeah i'll take care of it" with no real amount of effort being made.


This is why I'm against democracy: most people don't have their shit together and would starve if this Nanny State weren't there to bail out their sad asses.

Society is dysgenic.
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[Aug 11,2008 1:40pm - orgymaggotfeast ""]

Conservationist said:
Yeti said:if you only want to survive, it takes so little work to make ends meet and to have bills paid on time. but no, its always just a big fucking mess of half-assed excuses and "yeah i'll take care of it" with no real amount of effort being made.


This is why I'm against democracy: most people don't have their shit together and would starve if this Nanny State weren't there to bail out their sad asses.

Society is dysgenic.



if the government cracked down on welfare thieves, this country would have a much better economy....

i work for the state (MA) and i see (many) people on welfare every day and for every one who needs the help, there are 15 who are scamming the system.

pretty disgusting
 ______________________________
[Aug 11,2008 3:23pm - Yeti ""]

orgymaggotfeast said:
Yeti said:
orgymaggotfeast said:the guy rarely cleaned up after himself, and was unemployed 90 percent of his time living there, they got spare cash and spent it on booze and pot


boy does that sound familiar. i've only been living at my place for a month now and haven't seen the first months rent or half of the second months rent from one roommate. what the fuck is with people. if you only want to survive, it takes so little work to make ends meet and to have bills paid on time. but no, its always just a big fucking mess of half-assed excuses and "yeah i'll take care of it" with no real amount of effort being made. i fucking hate living with people, but you have to do whats necessary to live.



yeah, it blows...
the big double edged sword is that living with roommates rarely works out, but living on your own is a pain in the ass in this economy



seriously! oh man its so fucking frustrating. and then when you say something about how no one else is upholding their end of the bargain, they look at you like you are an asshole. argh, i guess i should understand its going to happen, this is apartment #4 with at least 1 shitty fucking roommate.
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[Aug 11,2008 3:27pm - FuckIsMySignature ""]
i dont know whats more difficult sometimes... living with family or living with roommates. both have advantages and disadvantages. i havent had the opportunity to have a live-in gf but i'm guess that is also immensely frustrating.
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[Aug 11,2008 4:21pm - ORGYMFATWORK  ""]

Yeti said:
orgymaggotfeast said:
Yeti said:
orgymaggotfeast said:the guy rarely cleaned up after himself, and was unemployed 90 percent of his time living there, they got spare cash and spent it on booze and pot


boy does that sound familiar. i've only been living at my place for a month now and haven't seen the first months rent or half of the second months rent from one roommate. what the fuck is with people. if you only want to survive, it takes so little work to make ends meet and to have bills paid on time. but no, its always just a big fucking mess of half-assed excuses and "yeah i'll take care of it" with no real amount of effort being made. i fucking hate living with people, but you have to do whats necessary to live.



yeah, it blows...
the big double edged sword is that living with roommates rarely works out, but living on your own is a pain in the ass in this economy



seriously! oh man its so fucking frustrating. and then when you say something about how no one else is upholding their end of the bargain, they look at you like you are an asshole. argh, i guess i should understand its going to happen, this is apartment #4 with at least 1 shitty fucking roommate.



dude, i know, one time i told the asshole i mentioned before he needed to pay his share of the rent (because he had owed me two months worth, and the next month's due date was coming up), and that he needed to do dishes (because there were absolutely none clean anywhere in the apartment, and me and my girl had done the last three or four sinkfulls)......he looked at me like i was the biggest dick on earth and yelled "don't treat me like a kid man, you're not my father"

hahaha fuckin dickhole....pretty childish thing to say for a jobless loser who "wants to be taken seriously as an adult"

one time when i wasn't home, he complained to my girl that i was "really stressin him out" by asking him for the money he owed me on such a constant basis.....she said "it's funny you mention stress, because it's very stressful for us to live with two unemployed adults who dodge us when they owe us money, steal our food and booze, and almost never clean up after themselves....we are not your fucking parents"
 _____________________________
[Aug 11,2008 4:22pm - mOe ""]
yea, i've dealt with bratty spoiled roomates who don't clean before...sucks
 _______________________________________
[Aug 11,2008 4:27pm - ORGYMFATWORK  ""]

FuckIsMySignature said:i dont know whats more difficult sometimes... living with family or living with roommates. both have advantages and disadvantages. i havent had the opportunity to have a live-in gf but i'm guess that is also immensely frustrating.


living with parents is worse....when you're a kid, you feel like they are stressing you, and you hate the lack of freedom

then if you live at home after you are 18, you realise you are a bum, and you are stressing them out, and feel pretty worthless.

i live with my girl right now.... she can be a bit of a nag sometimes, but if you have a really good thing going with someone, it's really not bad.
i mean really, the only thing that drives me nuts is that she doesn't have a liscense, so whenever she needs to do anything that she can't rely on normal public transportation (bus, train, trolley, whatever)for, i have to either drive her myself, or pay for a fucking cab ride.
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[Aug 11,2008 4:33pm - ORGYMFATWORK  ""]

mOe said:yea, i've dealt with bratty spoiled roomates who don't clean before...sucks


talk about bratty and spoiled, the dude i was talkin about before, his girl lived with us, and after she lost her job, the only thing she did was eat, sleep, get stoned, and get drunk (how these unemployed fucks got money for take-out, weed and beer and then expected us to believe they "just didn't have the money" when rent was due i'll never understand)

seriously, she lost her job in either january or february, between the day she stopped working, and the day we all moved out (may first) the only house work she did, was packing up all her shit the day before we moved out.

not only is she the only person who lived in that apartment who never once took out the trash, never vacuumed, and never did a full load of dishes, she also she once puked all over the toilet, the bathroom floor, and the floor mat in front of the shower, and left it there for an entire weekend....when me and my girl came back from her parents house, she told us this like it was a funny story, and was mad that we told her she should have cleaned it up by now....
my girl ended up cleaning it
 _________________________________________
[Aug 11,2008 4:34pm - Conservationist ""]

orgymaggotfeast said:
Conservationist said:
Yeti said:if you only want to survive, it takes so little work to make ends meet and to have bills paid on time. but no, its always just a big fucking mess of half-assed excuses and "yeah i'll take care of it" with no real amount of effort being made.


This is why I'm against democracy: most people don't have their shit together and would starve if this Nanny State weren't there to bail out their sad asses.

Society is dysgenic.



if the government cracked down on welfare thieves, this country would have a much better economy....

i work for the state (MA) and i see (many) people on welfare every day and for every one who needs the help, there are 15 who are scamming the system.

pretty disgusting



That's how it always is with welfare economies. I like the idea of people not having to work so much, and having job insurance (so if your job goes away, you're not screwed), but welfare breeds parasites.

Here it is two groups -- Russians, and Mexicans.

You will find them in $350,000 homes. What is the game? Sign up every member of your family as head of a family, and swap around kids to take in as dependents. Then, move all 12 of them into $350,000 house. Do not pay electricity, insurance, or water. Poop in the bushes. But pay your house note.

After ten years or so, you can have the house paid off, and then buy another one, and start renting that, all while you collect welfare.

It seems racist against Russians and Mexicans to say this, but I think it's just empirical observation and not an uninformed one. Up north of the city we have more of the trailer trash welfare cheats, and to the northeast are the real Negro slums.
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[Aug 11,2008 4:43pm - ORGYMFATWORK  ""]
trust me man, i see it all the time
white trash
mexicans
blacks
(mostly the latter 2)
coming in for "assistance" saying they need financial aid, and free this, and government funded that, and meanwhile they drove here in a car i could never afford, wearing a 300-600 dollar outfit and listening to music/babbling on an "IPhone"

i once asked a guy who had an "IPhone", a leather jacket, 200 dollar pants, diamond studded gold "bling" around his neck and knuckles, and a designer shirt (who came in for welfare assistance) if you can afford all that, why can you not afford to buy a birth certificiate, and feed your kids.

never once during the conversation did i mention race, now i am labelled a racist by all the blacks and hispanics i work with (including one piece of trash who works here who barely speaks english, makes more than i do - even though i have been here longer, and do far more work - and somehow she collects wic/food stamps)
 __________________________________
[Aug 11,2008 4:47pm - archaeon ""]

ORGYMFATWORK said:
then if you live at home after you are 18, you realise you are a bum, and you are stressing them out, and feel pretty worthless.



I think you just offended like half the board.
 _______________________________________
[Aug 11,2008 4:49pm - ORGYMFATWORK  ""]
hahahahahahaha.
sorry guys
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[Aug 11,2008 4:50pm - ORGYMFATWORK  ""]
let me clarify....i said that because i speak from experience, i moved out when i was 19, moved back in a year later, moved out again when i was 22, back in again when i was 25, and back out again about a year ago.
 _________________________________
[Aug 11,2008 4:53pm - c.DeaD  ""]

FuckIsMySignature said: i havent had the opportunity to have a live-in gf but i'm guess that is also immensely frustrating.


:NOD:

I can't even play Manhunt 2 without her bitching at me that I am a loser for playing video games on my day off.

You'll see.
 _________________________________________
[Aug 11,2008 4:55pm - Conservationist ""]

ORGYMFATWORK said:i once asked a guy who had an "IPhone", a leather jacket, 200 dollar pants, diamond studded gold "bling" around his neck and knuckles, and a designer shirt (who came in for welfare assistance) if you can afford all that, why can you not afford to buy a birth certificiate, and feed your kids.

never once during the conversation did i mention race, now i am labelled a racist by all the blacks and hispanics i work with (including one piece of trash who works here who barely speaks english, makes more than i do - even though i have been here longer, and do far more work - and somehow she collects wic/food stamps)



It's their one defense: any criticism of them is racist, like any criticism of other groups is Anti-Semitic, Anti-Christian, Conservative, etc.

We live in a passive-aggressive society.
 ______________________________________
[Aug 11,2008 4:56pm - the_reverend ""]
judging by that, your parents are going to love a 35 year old orgy moving back in.
 _______________________________________
[Aug 12,2008 9:09am - ORGYMFATWORK  ""]
hah, no aaron, i think i got my budget worked out well enough that i won't ever have to bum off relatives again
 _____________________________
[Aug 12,2008 9:38am - pam ""]

Yeti said:
orgymaggotfeast said:the guy rarely cleaned up after himself, and was unemployed 90 percent of his time living there, they got spare cash and spent it on booze and pot


boy does that sound familiar. i've only been living at my place for a month now and haven't seen the first months rent or half of the second months rent from one roommate. what the fuck is with people. if you only want to survive, it takes so little work to make ends meet and to have bills paid on time. but no, its always just a big fucking mess of half-assed excuses and "yeah i'll take care of it" with no real amount of effort being made. i fucking hate living with people, but you have to do whats necessary to live.



Fat bitch was the same. She left the dishes one time for 3 weeks until I caved in and scraped the MOLD off them. I have a fucking kid, and she could care less that she was such a disgusting pig. That and her stupid cat pissing in the house finally made me kick her out.

After I kicked her out I found out she'd been fired weeks ago....from her 3rd job in 6 months. Then she left all her shit in my place for a month so I couldn't move in my new roommate, left her shitty cats there for half of that and didn't buy them food or litter (so I had to, because while I hated them- I couldn't starve them). When I told her the cats were going to a shelter and her shit to the curb, her mom called and threatened me with a lawyer.

Then she skipped out on her last month's rent and about 4 months of back utilities. Awesome.

Fortunately she and her greaser boyfriend moved to Vegas. I hope they die there.
 _______________________________________
[Aug 12,2008 9:40am - ORGYMFATWORK  ""]
HAH, HOW THEY GET A LAWYER??
fuck that dude, she screwed you over.

they definately should die, her, her man, and her mom

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