rules of hardcore[views:14266][posts:65]________________________________________ [Jun 12,2003 11:19am - joe/notcommon ""] THE 101 RULES OF HARDCORE 1) Be tough at all times. 2) Never cheer after a show...only clap. 3) Be open minded in a "punch people" kind of way 4) Only the good hardcore bands have names that are sentences with bad grammar. Boy Hits Car, Boy Sets Fire, Skycamefalling, Boy Sets Car-fire. 5) Ankles are tough so bring your socks down into your shoes so we can see them. 6) Tattoos are tough especially when they are on your calves. See Rule 3 on how to see said tattoo more clearly. 7) Wear your hoody in the mosh pit because sweating like a wild pig makes you look tough. 8) Don't admit you listen to heavy metal. 9) (Exception to rule 8) Only admit you listen to heavy metal if you think it is ironic and you wear 80's cheese metal shirts. 10) Be a non-conformist, just like all your friends. 11) Practice hardcore dancing in front of your mirror and then try them out the next time Atreyu comes to town. 12) A hardcore band is only original if you call it something-core. Example Screamcore, emocore, Screamocore, mathcore, or Medio-core. 13) Remember, it's fun to punch and kick kung fu style. 14) Keep it in the do-jo. 15) Real hardcore fans are called kids. 16) Complain how hardcore bands are playing with metal bands at all costs! 17) Have your own zine, website, production company or be in a band. Claim you are friends with the singer from Shai Halud. 18) Tell people you work in the music industry. 19) More Ankles people! 20) Embrace everybody in the scene except for those people who are not you. 21) Refer to bands as old school or new school then act tough again. 22) Pretend that you get Dillinger Escape plan. 23) Shop at second hand stores and then go buy expensive shoes. 24) Beat people up and then go to bible study class. 25) Smoking and drinking and having sex before marriage is too trendy. Real hardcore tough guys abstain. 26) Whatever you do, don't let the singer on stage ever sing in the mic. Make sure you grab it from him and sing in it yourself, after all, you do a better job singing then him. It's a wonder they didn't put you on the album. 27) Start your own hardcore band. 28) Have your logo resemble some random 80's product for nostalgia. 29) Talk about the scene any chance you get. Say as many obscure hardcore bands from NJ as possible. 30) If you are shy start an emo band so you don't have to look at the audience. 31) People who know more bands than you are better than you. 32) Add the Letter X before and after important words. XhardcorekidX XmoshfuckX 33) Never say "Did you hear the new Strung Out?" Unless you are attempting to be funny in which case stop it because hardcore kids are tough not funny. 34) It's merch not Merchandise. 35) Hardcore girls must wear head bands at all times. 36) Stretch your ears out to look more intimidating. 37) The bigger you stretch you ears out the more hardcore you are. 38) Your ear should be stretched out enough to accommodate a block of wood, a hubcap or a penis. 39) People in the front row are best used as a ladder/staircase to reach your goal...steal the mic away from the singer. 40) When people ask you if you like a band always say "I only like the old stuff" or "I haven't really gotten into the new stuff". 41) Buy all of that bands merch. 42) Wear your new merch at the next hardcore show. 43) Repeat steps 41 and 42 44) If you have to wear glasses make sure they are thick, black framed ones. 45) Don't tell anybody but make sure you try on your new vintage clothes and stud belt before heading out to see Poison the well. 46) Never admit you don't like Hatebreed and go see them live 12 times a year. 47) Complain that they are playing with slayer but don't admit you actually like Slayer. 48) Complain at all costs. 49) Tag team hardcore dancing is cool 50) Real hardcore kids are really struggling photographers. 51) You don't go to hardcore concerts, you go to hardcore shows. BIG difference. 52) Name your hardcore dance moves things like "The mother fuck" or "kick that guys ass move" or better yet....stay home and cry. 53) Protect your body from swinging limbs by sacrificing your two arms. 54) Scream about love. 55) All age venues are important so you are not tempted to drink. 56) Claim you know a guy who knows a guy whose best friend was standing next to the guy who got his ass kicked during Converge. Bash the hardcore scene and then go see The Get Up Kids. 57) Anytime somebody mentions a band always say you know somebody in the band. 58)Wear your pins with honour! Shai Halud, American Nightmare, Minor Threat and the purple heart of valour. 59) Velcro shoes are cool. 60) Don't admit that you have a crush on the singer from Walls of Jericho. If somebody asks, say you respect her as a musician only. 61) Your band name should contain one of the following words: Blood, Murder, Kill, Victim and butterfly. 62) Print your band name as if it was on a bad printing press. Actual graphics are for posers. 63) Sleep on a portrait painted prettier then everyone. 64) 100 bands from around the world to play in your city. All of them are the world's best hardcore bands. Every label represented, every hardcore genre present. The venue is the best all-ages venue in the world. Tickets are $1.00. It is your job to go around saying the festival should be free. 65) Record producers must make sure to pump the mid because mid is tough. 66) Re-issue your demos after every album. 67) When the band starts playing everybody join hands and make a big circle so we can watch the big kids play. 68) Crying on stage makes you a professional. 69) Complain some more. 70) Album covers must be made at home on Photoshop by your good friend. 71) If you are from New York NEVER smile in a promo pic. In fact always try to cross your arms and look into the camera as if you are going to beat up whom ever is looking. 72) If you are from New Jersey NEVER smile in a promo pic either. In fact try to look like you just lost your girl friend to the hardcore band from New York. 73) Never admit that Emo is Country music lyrics mixed with pop rock riffs and marketed by 17 year olds trying to make their friend be the next Dashboard Confessional. 74) American Idol is your worst enemy. (But you voted for Ruben) 75) You can get away with glitter on your face as long as your stretched ear plugs are clear. 76) Fuck beer, Got breast milk? 77) Bandanas are cool. 78) Bandanas with big X on them are cooler. 79) Bandanas with big X on them were cool last week you poser. 80) Your best friend is a guy named XattackX from Jersey who you chat with on MSN everyday. He is coming to see you one day. Really. 81) Chunky breakdowns in your songs are original and you should continue to do them despite every other band doing them which is clearly a rip off of your band. 82) Judge other bands and always compare them to the socio-cultural effects of the band Integrity. 83) Look up Socio-cultural in the dictionary and then get offended. 84) Green Day is the real reason you are still alive. 85) Describe your group of friends as "the scene" and then watch bootlegs of last weeks. 86) Obey the laws of the hardcore scene or forever be banished from the circle. 87) When somebody asks you what is hardcore respond with "I am hardcore" then punch somebody in the face for looking at you wrong. 88) Keep punching 89) Kick a little too 90) Punch 91) Add a threat about their mother for good measure. 92) Pretend you are won the fight then pickup your dismembered left arm. 93) You are wearing the same thing as the 40-year old gas pump attendant but for some strange mystical reason you are cooler than he is. 94) Tell everybody that Trustkill Records are too trendy. 95) Did you stop acting tough? I saw you hug that teddy bear. 96) Pierce you tits and tattoo your body. 97) Straight bangs means straight-edge 98) Being vegan means you can't swallow sperm. 99) When in doubt Mock everything 100) Take everything personally. 101) Assume this list is about you! |
| _____________________________________ [Jun 12,2003 11:41am - bitterlowz ""] that's quite a list.. im glad i'm different |
| ________________________________________ [Jun 12,2003 11:45am - joe/notcommon ""] it's all fact based |
| _____________________________________ [Jun 12,2003 12:36pm - tyagxgrind ""] ah fuck your list. velcro shoes are cool. their really for those who hate having to lace that shit up constantly. i think that wearing no socks is more hardcore. dumb. |
| _______________________________________ [Jun 12,2003 1:23pm - joe/notcommon ""] My dad wears velcro shoes because he hates lacing them up what a role model! |
| ________________________________ [Jun 12,2003 1:48pm - XmikeX ""] 3) Be open minded in a "punch people" kind of way - hilarious 4) Only the good hardcore bands have names that are sentences with bad grammar. Boy Hits Car, Boy Sets Fire, Skycamefalling, Boy Sets Car-fire. - None of those bands are hardcore. In fact they're garbage 7) Wear your hoody in the mosh pit because sweating like a wild pig makes you look tough. - HAHA as opposed to taking your shirt off to bare your beer belly to the entire show while you run around doing the Bushwacker strut rubbing up against other fat sweaty shirtless guys yelling "PANTERAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!" when pantera isn't even playing? |
| _______________________________________ [Jun 12,2003 2:09pm - joe/notcommon ""] haha, ZING! |
| _________________________________________ [Jun 12,2003 2:29pm - baneofexistence ""] you left out running backwards into the spectators on the sidelines of the show who are mearly just watching the bands play and the old classic get a running jump in the air and land on the merch tables smashing the merch and the table :skull::skull::skull::skull::skull::skull::skull::skull::skull::skull::skull::skull: |
| _______________________________________ [Jun 12,2003 5:36pm - deodiummortis ""] And plowing into handicapped people who are as out of the way as they can manage to be, bwaah! |
| _______________________________________ [Jun 12,2003 10:01pm - BingChlorine ""] Despite everything that list says, hardcore is still waaaaaaaaaay better :spineyes: |
| _________________________________________ [Jun 13,2003 12:23am - xPaulBLAHBLAHx ""] Metal is better then hardcore, yes. And some of that shit is really funny, but its sad that you took the time to write all of that on a message board. Hey ive got a rule 1) let people do what they fucking want to do. Same goes to people who bash metal, just let kids do what they want to do and have fun instead of fucking complaining about it. :satancross: |
| ________________________________________ [Jun 13,2003 12:25am - joe/notcommon ""] i didn't type it genius i copied and pasted it you should die for being so gay |
| ___________________________________ [Jun 13,2003 3:25pm - easyed_69 ""] I saw this on the alexisonfire board.....where did this originate from anyways? |
| ________________________________________ [Jun 13,2003 5:45pm - xPaulBLAHBLAHx ""] Die for being so gay??, Im surprised you havent yet commited suicide, your quite possibly one of the gayest men in America go litsen to ravage some more. :middlefinger: |
| _______________________________________ [Jun 14,2003 12:08am - ActionAttack ""] haha number 58. ill sell you those pins for fity cent each. any pins you want I got yo. |
| _______________________________________ [Jun 14,2003 8:23am - joe/notcommon ""] i sure will listen to ravage some more you fuck i still am not sure when singing became gay but since you are trendy enough to write X's around your name then I should probably believe you I could take a wild swing at what bands you listen to but I am sure they are all extra cheesy and boring why don't you come down to the middle east on monday and we can discuss this in person |
| ______________________________________ [Jun 14,2003 1:46pm - ActionAttack ""] damn yo, can't we all just get along? so much anger! what ever happed heart-core? let's bring it back! :yoda: |
| ______________________________ [Jun 15,2003 1:30pm - Kyle ""] yeah metal.............right on......no wait i meant fuckin metal sucks |
| ________________________________________ [Jun 15,2003 3:10pm - xPaulBLAHBLAHx ""] lol cheesy??? Im not the one who litsens to ravage and command presence, and its not worth fighting you over haha. |
| _________________________________ [Jun 15,2003 5:32pm - Terence ""] Nothing is gayer then Lambgoat.com |
| ______________________________________ [Jun 15,2003 5:43pm - ActionAttack ""] i agree, all they do is talk shit. I try to be serious with some kids and some pricks step in and say really gay things :middlefinger: lambgoat |
| _________________________________ [Jun 15,2003 9:04pm - Terence ""] Right, I put up a thread to advertise a show, and out of nowhere comes the idiot speech. I think Lambgoat actually hurts the scene. What good has it brought? |
| ________________________________________ [Jun 15,2003 10:23pm - joe/notcommon ""] well i think we can all agree that i'm awesome |
| ___________________________________ [Jun 16,2004 6:05pm - JellyFish ""] hahahahaha wow |
| _____________________________________ [Jun 16,2004 6:10pm - Robdeadskin ""] I would love to get my band on an all hardcore show ..just to see what happens..Do you think they would respect it....or kill us? |
| ___________________________________ [Jun 16,2004 6:29pm - Dissector ""] 10) Be a non-conformist, just like all your friends Thats a good one. The 101 rules of black metal are even more funny. |
| _______________________________ [Jun 16,2004 6:34pm - silky ""] everything on that list is true. it sucks, but that's the facts. I love hardcore. always have, and fashion, musical trends, and trying to be tough because deep down you're an insecure faggot have always ruined the music. for as long as I can remeber that's how it's been. that's why there's so few good hardcore bands. the members of the few good bands seldom get caught up in scene bullshit, and in fact, if they weren't in a band, they would more than likely be shunned for not fitting in. |
| ____________________________________ [Jun 16,2004 6:38pm - iamwiggins ""] they might respect it...whats your band? |
| _______________________________________________________ [Jun 16,2004 6:50pm - Joe is Overlord of the Earth ""] why was this brought back from the dead? |
| ____________________________________________________ [Jun 16,2004 6:54pm - menstrual_sweatpants_disco ""] the only people you should all be hating is loser "gangsta' life" wanna-be thugs who listen to rap and wear sideways hats and oversized basketball shirts. |
| ___________________________________________________________ [Jun 16,2004 6:55pm - Joe is the Overlord of the Earth ""] menstrual_sweatpants_disco said:the only people you should all be hating is loser "gangsta' life" wanna-be thugs who listen to rap and wear sideways hats and oversized basketball shirts. those people are the ones who listen to hardcore, they all are so mad that they aren't black that they fight white people at shows. |
| ____________________________________ [Jun 16,2004 7:23pm - anonymous ""] I can't admit that death metal is boring and played out so I have to pretend that every other type of music is lame too. Get a life and Every hardcore kid knows Slayer rules. |
| __________________________________________________ [Jun 16,2004 7:31pm - More anonymous than you ""] WOW IM SO ANONYMOUS!!!!!!111 MORE ANONYMOUS THAN ANYONE ELSE THAT HAS EVER BEEN ANONYMOUS BEFORE!!!!!!111 EVER EVEN!!!!!!!11 Oh, and hardcore is actually even MORE played out than death metal and most death metal i've heard takes more talent to play than most hardcore i've heard. look... ill even make a harcore song right now. *takes a shit* see... wasnt that easy? yes, this is Spaldino... |
| ___________________________________ [Jun 16,2004 7:42pm - Dissector ""] Just about every hardcore breakdown sounds the same. I'm sure if you're a hardcore kid and listen to it a lot you can tell the difference, but I sure as hell can't. |
| ____________________________________ [Jun 16,2004 7:43pm - deadhooker ""] that list definitely made my day. joe you should show it to niki |
| __________________________________________ [Jun 16,2004 7:47pm - intricateprocess ""] cant we just all focus our hatred on the impending doom located in the middle east. its fucking pissing me off. im going to listen to xmotorheadx |
| ________________________________________________ [Jun 16,2004 7:49pm - Being anonymous rules ""] Why doesn't everbody just enjoy their own scene and leave everybody else alone. Just support independent music. |
| _______________________________ [Jun 16,2004 8:07pm - silky ""] scenes are what ruin independent music. |
| ________________________________ [Jun 16,2004 8:11pm - xmikex ""] alot of hardcore bands sound the same. but how many metal bands sound exactly like cannibal corpse? too many. |
| _______________________________________________ [Jun 16,2004 8:37pm - dneirflrigruoydeliani ""] i enjoy Pabst Blue Ribbon it is cheep and i can catch a hardcore/metal buzz off it. This thread is funny, fuck, lighten up its all good. |
| ___________________________________ [Jun 16,2004 9:29pm - dread_104 ""] i'll drink to that |
| ___________________________________________________ [Jun 16,2004 10:07pm - the taste of cigarettes ""] Hardcore rules, hardcore rules. Can't live my life for you. Hardcore rules, hardcore rules. Up to you wanna be one of societies fools. Hardcore rules, hardcore rules. Pack up the van let's travel around. Hardcore rules, hardcore rules. Friends from the east to the west. Hardcore rules, hardcore rules. Japan, Europe too. Jimmy says he loves straight edge kids. They're are great to have around. For a ride home when your piss drunk. And me, I love everyone as long as you're not a dick. So if you've got a big mouth keep it shut. Say you're too old and it's time to grow up. So you become another hardcore dropout. Remember this is all about the fun. And you're never too old to sing along. Hardcore rules, hardcore rules. |
| _________________________________ [Jun 16,2004 10:38pm - xmikex ""] hardcore rules! hard! core! rules! New York City! ridiculous |
| _______________________________________ [Jun 16,2004 11:11pm - swamplorddvm ""] Wow thats good. This is all true. and I'm not even "hard-core"... Thank "god". |
| __________________________________ [Jun 17,2004 12:28am - Soloman ""] hardcore vs. metal.... boring. |
| ______________________________________ [Jun 17,2004 1:17am - swamplorddvm ""] Yeah. it is. But this is not a vs. thread. |
| __________________________________________________ [Jun 17,2004 8:17am - the taste of cigarettes ""] I went to see this old hardcore band that either did a reunion or was just really fucking old, and the singer was talking about "back when the metal kids and the hardcore kids didn't like each other" and that the two scenes had no intermingling. I thought that was really weird cause I find the two are so closely related these days...I mean, we even have the New England "Hardcore & Metal" fest. Yet, I have noticed that some of the Hardcore kids spite the metal and vice versa. Why do you think that is? |
| _______________________________________ [Jun 17,2004 9:06am - Joe/NotCommon ""] I think hardcore and metal are at odds in Massachusetts these days. That metal and hardcore fest didn't even really have much metal bands on it. They should segregate it, metal on one day and hardcore on the other. XmikeX and I are not allowed to be in the same room anymore. |
| ___________________________________________________ [Jun 17,2004 10:10am - the taste of cigarettes ""] that might not be a bad idea, Joe. Hey remember when there were 3 stages for the HC/M fest and one of those stages was at a club down the street? that was kinda nutty. |
| _________________________________ [Jun 17,2004 12:18pm - xmikex ""] Metal is a haven for nerd kids who got picked on in high school and want to feel like they're important, and tough with fantasies of serial killers, medevil battles, and vampires. Hardcore is a haven for nerd kids who got picked on in junior high who want to feel like they're important and tough with fantasies of cartwheels that make you important, pretending that you're straightedge making you a worthwhile person, and the mistaken notion that everyone in a tight black t-shirt being your "family" makes you tough. |