Simpsons quotes[views:124579][posts:233]_____________________________________ [Dec 4,2009 2:47pm - M.F.BASTARD ""] "I've Learned That Life Is One Crushing Defeat After Another Until You Just Wish Flanders Was Dead." |
| ___________________________________________ [Dec 4,2009 2:47pm - aterribleguitarist ""] Moe: Are we done here? Cuz I have a hot date tonight polygraph: (beep Moe: A date polygraph: (beep!) Moe: Dinner with a friend polygraph: (beep!) Moe: Dinner alone polygraph: (beep!) Moe: Alright Alright! I'm gonna go home and ogle the women in the victoria's secret catalouge polygraph: (beep!) Moe: Sears Catalog polygraph: (DING!) Moe: Now will you unhook this thing?!?!? I don't deserve this kind of treatment. polygraph: (beep!) |
| ________________________________________ [Dec 4,2009 2:48pm - BobNOMAAMRooney ""] Tramapoline! Trampopoline! |
| ___________________________________________ [Dec 4,2009 2:48pm - aterribleguitarist ""] Homer: trying is the first step towards failure |
| ___________________________________________ [Dec 4,2009 2:49pm - aterribleguitarist ""] Homer: HEY BART DID I SHOW YOU MY NEW CHAINSAW AND HOCKEY MASK? |
| ________________________________________ [Dec 4,2009 2:53pm - BobNOMAAMRooney ""] Mom, my slingshot doesn't fit in these pockets. And these shorts leave nothing to the imagination. These uniforms suck! Bart! Where do you pick up words like that? Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked. Homer! Watch your mouth! Aw, I gotta go. My damn weiner kids are listening. We are not weiners! Then what are you dressed like that for? They made us. "Oh, they made us." That's loser-talk! You gotta start acting more like me and my team, the future champions of the world. Nothing's going to stop us now! STOP EVERYTHING |
| ___________________________________________ [Dec 4,2009 3:03pm - aterribleguitarist ""] Lunch Lady Doris: More testicles means more iron! |
| ___________________________________________ [Dec 4,2009 3:04pm - aterribleguitarist ""] "Armand Tamzarian's reign of terror is over" |
| ___________________________________________ [Dec 4,2009 3:05pm - aterribleguitarist ""] Amish Guy: 'Tis a fine barn, but 'tis no pool, English. Homer: D'oh-eth |
| ___________________________________________ [Dec 4,2009 3:06pm - aterribleguitarist ""] Otto: Oh no, another acid trip, I'm glad I'm not driving the bus right now |
| ___________________________________________ [Dec 4,2009 3:07pm - aterribleguitarist ""] Otto: Alchol increases your ability to drive....FALSE??? Aw man, I am so not ready for this test |
| __________________________________________ [Dec 4,2009 3:12pm - FuckIsMySignature ""] reading this thread is like watching 20 different simpson episodes at once. |
| ___________________________________________ [Dec 4,2009 3:14pm - aterribleguitarist ""] Homer: The only thing I'm using this bed for is sleeping, eating, and maybe building a little fort |
| _____________________________ [Dec 4,2009 3:16pm - Yeti ""] Ralph: Miss Hoover, there's a dog in the vent. Miss Hoover: Ralph, remember the time you said Snagglepuss was outside? Ralph: he was going to the bathroom. |
| ___________________________________________ [Dec 4,2009 3:17pm - aterribleguitarist ""] Nachos Flanders style! That's cucumbers with cottage cheese! |
| ___________________________________________ [Dec 4,2009 3:19pm - aterribleguitarist ""] Ralph: Mrs. Hoover, my worm went in my mouth and then I ate it. Can I have another one. Mrs. Hoover: No Ralph, just put your head down on your desk and take a nap. Ralph: Yay! Sleep! That's where I'm a viking! |
| _____________________________ [Dec 4,2009 3:19pm - Yeti ""] Grimes: God, he eats like a pig. Lenny: I dunno. Pigs tend to chew. I'd say he eats more like a duck. Grimes: Well, some kind of farm animal anyway. And earlier today, I saw him asleep inside a radiation suit. Can you imagine that? he, he was hanging from a coat hook! Lenny: He had three beers at lunch. That would make anybody sleepy. Grimey: I've never seen him do any work around here ... what, what is his job? Lenny: Safety inspector. Grimes: That irresponsible oaf? A man who by all rights should have been killed dozens of times by now? Lenny: Three hundred and sixteen times by my count. Grimes: That's the man who's in charge of our safety. It, it boggles the mind. Carl: It's best not to think about it. |
| ___________________________________________ [Dec 4,2009 3:22pm - aterribleguitarist ""] Homer: Vegetarian? so no more pork chops? Lisa: No Homer: No more ham? Lisa: No Homer: No more bacon? Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal! Homer: Haha, yeah, sure Lisa, one magical animal |
| ___________________________________________ [Dec 4,2009 3:23pm - aterribleguitarist ""] But you love shake and bake! You used to put it in your coffee! |
| ___________________________________________ [Dec 4,2009 3:24pm - aterribleguitarist ""] That's not a kife...THIS is a knife That's a spoon. Alright, you win this round...I can see you've played knifey spooney before |
| _____________________________ [Dec 4,2009 3:26pm - Yeti ""] Hank Scorpio: Hey, look at my feet. You like those moccasins? Look in your closet; there's a pair for you. Don't like them? Then neither do I!.......Get the hell outta here! Ever see a guy say good-bye to a shoe? Homer: Yes, once |
| ___________________________________________ [Dec 4,2009 3:30pm - aterribleguitarist ""] Hank Scorpio: If you want to kill anyone on your way out, it would help me out a lot. |
| ___________________________________________ [Dec 4,2009 3:32pm - aterribleguitarist ""] Commercial: Warning: Tickets not to be taken internally. Homer: See? because of me, now they have a warning. |
| ___________________________________________ [Dec 4,2009 3:36pm - aterribleguitarist ""] I hate every ape I see, from Chimpan-A to Chimpanzee |
| ___________________________________________ [Dec 4,2009 3:36pm - aterribleguitarist ""] I wash myself with a rag on a stick |
| _______________________________ [Dec 4,2009 3:46pm - xmikex ""] aterribleguitarist said:Amish Guy: 'Tis a fine barn, but 'tis no pool, English. Homer: D'oh-eth One of my favs. |
| _______________________________ [Dec 4,2009 3:48pm - xmikex ""] Homer Simpson doesn't say "B'Oh!" he says *flips pages on the script*.... "D'oh!" |
| _______________________________ [Dec 4,2009 3:49pm - xmikex ""] Hey Homer, why don't ya nibble her elbow? That always gets her motor runnin. |
| _________________________________ [Dec 4,2009 6:33pm - ShadowSD ""] Discus Stu has uzo for two-zo. |
| ______________________________ [Dec 4,2009 7:01pm - Pires ""] When I grow up I'm going to bovine university! |
| _______________________________ [Dec 4,2009 11:43pm - Pires ""] Iron helps us play! |
| ________________________________________ [Dec 5,2009 2:35am - BobNOMAAMRooney ""] You'll see all your favorite soccer stars. Like Ariaga! Ariaga II! Bariaga! Aruglia! And Pizzoza! Oh, I never heard of those people. And they'll all be signing autographs! Woo-hoo! |
| ________________________________________ [Dec 5,2009 2:37am - BobNOMAAMRooney ""] Homer Simpson: Awww ... 20 dollars!? I wanted a peanut. Homer's brain: 20 dollars can buy many peanuts! Homer Simpson: Explain how. Homer's brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services. Homer Simpson: Woo hoo! |
| ___________________________________ [Dec 5,2009 3:00am - RichHorror ""] [img] |
| ___________________________________ [Dec 5,2009 8:36am - Blacktooth ""] Mr. Simpson, a Twizzler is not a sprinkle.. A Mounds is not a sprinkle.. A Jolly Rancher is not a sprinkle.. |
| ___________________________________________________ [Dec 5,2009 9:26am - menstrual_sweatpants_disco ""] Yeti said:Homer: Hear ye, hear ye! Ye olde town crier proclaimed crappy by all! Chooseth Homer Simpson, and he shalt rock thy world! Chief Wiggum: My God, he is fabulous! Principal Skinner: He's embiggened that role with his cromulent performance. I just realized there's now a band called cromulent. |
| ____________________________________ [Dec 5,2009 12:54pm - anonymous ""] so i says; "yeah? you want that money? come and find it! 'cause I don't know where it is, ya baloney! You... make me... wanna... wretch..." |
| ________________________________________ [Dec 5,2009 1:17pm - BobNOMAAMRooney ""] So I says to Mabel I says... |
| ______________________________________ [Dec 5,2009 4:25pm - neverpurified ""] bennyhillifier |
| ___________________________________ [Dec 6,2009 2:23am - Blacktooth ""] Fatty fat fat fat |
| ___________________________________________ [Dec 6,2009 11:00am - Kadooganimaniacs ""] Dying tickles. |
| ______________________________________ [Dec 6,2009 3:20pm - Dr. Sphincto ""] Why you're the fattest thing i've seen. And i've been on Safari |
| ____________________________________________ [Dec 6,2009 3:55pm - Sinister_Minister ""] Mr. Black: Genltemen, to evil. |
| _______________________________ [Dec 15,2009 10:36am - Yeti ""] I'm Dick Tracy! Take that Prune Face! Now I'm Prune Face! Take that Dick Tracy! Now I'm Prune Tracy! Take that Dick....HEY! STOP THAT AT ONCE! |
| _______________________________ [Dec 15,2009 10:47am - Yeti ""] Marge, I think I hate Ted Koppel! no wait, i find him informative and witty. 'night. |
| ________________________________ [Dec 15,2009 10:53am - Pires ""] Maaaaarge, I was watching womens volleyball on espn2... |
| _________________________________ [Dec 15,2009 11:05am - xmikex ""] So I said listen buddy, your car was flipped over when we got here. And as for your grandmother maybe she shouldn't have mouthed off like that. |
| ________________________________ [Dec 15,2009 11:17am - Pires ""] Stand down children! (and in the same episode)... Diddy-mow!! |
| _______________________________________ [Dec 15,2009 11:39am - joeyumbrella ""] H: All work and no play make Homer something, something.... M: Go Crazy? H: Don't mind if I DOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| _________________________________ [Dec 15,2009 12:03pm - xmikex ""] If you like them there's a pair upstairs in your closet for you. If you don't like them then neither do I! See ya in hell! Ever said goodbye to a pair of shoes? Well... once. |