god do i hate shitting at work[views:50454][posts:182]___________________________________ [Jan 23,2008 12:49pm - Ma_Dukes ""] how the fuck do you not wipe your ass? |
| _________________________________ [Jan 23,2008 11:03pm - NIGGER ""] IF YOU EAT ENOUGH GREASE IT SLIDES RIGHT OUT BEFORE YOU EVEN NOTICE LIKE PRISON CEPT BACKWARD BLACK POWER! |
| ______________________________________ [Feb 11,2008 9:51am - the_reverend ""] imho the worst is when all 3 stalls are full. it's like you at sitting on someone's lap while shitting |
| ___________________________________________ [Feb 11,2008 10:10am - corpus_colostomy ""] "sounds like someone has a case of the mondays." |
| _______________________________________ [Feb 22,2008 11:47am - the_reverend ""] wow... the person before me looks like they didn't even attempt to flush. wtf! thanks for leaving a stink log for me. what the fuck is this, the 1800's outhouse scene? |
| ____________________________________ [Feb 22,2008 11:36pm - lumburgh ""] Yeti said:sometimes i think they just sit down to fart because they are too pussy to do it at their desks from the way you describe it i'm assuming you work in an cube farm, you mean to tell me that you sit there and rip loud stinky farts at your desk? |
| _________________________________________ [Feb 25,2008 2:28am - metal_church101 ""] Always take a shit at work. |
| _______________________________ [Feb 25,2008 10:44am - Yeti ""] well the chair muffles the sound, but otherwise yes. |
| ____________________________________ [Feb 25,2008 11:10am - contagion ""] but...you're getting paid to do it, technically. if you're on hourly wage. |
| _______________________________________ [Feb 25,2008 11:29am - the_reverend ""] I'm stuck in a meeting right now... god I would love to shit at work right now |
| _______________________________________ [Feb 25,2008 12:00pm - the_reverend ""] i'm an omlette, large fry, 2 spike's dogs, and one long into loving shitting at work. |
| _________________________________________ [Feb 25,2008 12:19pm - DestroyYouAlot ""] lumburgh said: Yeti said:sometimes i think they just sit down to fart because they are too pussy to do it at their desks from the way you describe it i'm assuming you work in an cube farm, you mean to tell me that you sit there and rip loud stinky farts at your desk? HELL YES You come into my cube, you get what's coming to you. And what's coming to you is my poopsmell. |
| _________________________________________ [Feb 25,2008 12:30pm - brad weymouth ""] Steve de Toilette |
| __________________________________ [Feb 26,2008 11:24pm - milton ""] somehow i don't think stinking up the office by ripping smelly farts at your desk all day helps you climb the corporate ladder. but what do i know, my desk was moved to the basement to take care of the rat problem. |
| ___________________________________________ [Feb 27,2008 12:15am - DaveFromTheGrave ""] the_reverend said:imho the worst is when all 3 stalls are full. it's like you at sitting on someone's lap while shitting And then you sit down on the warm seat, slightly lubricated with their ass-sweat, and realize that your ass is in direct contact with something their ass was in contact with only moments before. mmm mmmm good. [img] |
| ________________________________________ [Feb 27,2008 2:28am - KevintheSprigg ""] I used to hate shitting at work...until a few months ago when I brought in a full size door poster of Manowar (Into Glory Ride era...complete with loincloths) and hung it on the wall in front of the toilet. Shitting is a much more enjoyable experience when you can just sit and gaze at their mighty plastic swords and cocoa buttered muscles. |
| ______________________________________ [Feb 27,2008 7:33am - the_reverend ""] mmmm...cocobuttah |
| ______________________________ [Feb 27,2008 8:24am - Yeti ""] DaveFromTheGrave said:And then you sit down on the warm seat, slightly lubricated with their ass-sweat i absolutely fucking hate sitting on a warm toilet seat. i want the shock of a freezing cold one. i mean i know that people sit on it all the time, but i'd rather not feel it. |
| _________________________________________ [Feb 27,2008 10:25am - DestroyYouAlot ""] KevintheSprigg said:I used to hate shitting at work...until a few months ago when I brought in a full size door poster of Manowar (Into Glory Ride era...complete with loincloths) and hung it on the wall in front of the toilet. Shitting is a much more enjoyable experience when you can just sit and gaze at their mighty plastic swords and cocoa buttered muscles. That rules so hard. |
| _______________________________________ [Mar 17,2008 11:05am - the_reverend ""] after all that taco bell and 24oz of coffee and a large veggie patty sub for breakfast, getting to the bathroom after gut cramping it through a meeting is like the sweet release of freedom. it just smells like I released fresh hardboiled eggs. |
| _______________________________________ [Mar 17,2008 11:08am - SkinSandwich ""] I like eggs. |
| ______________________________ [Mar 17,2008 3:22pm - Yeti ""] i dumped a whole pile of death this morning after a weekend of epic booze consumption. i could hear my intestines gasping for air. |
| ______________________________________ [Mar 17,2008 4:13pm - SkinSandwich ""] Speaking of booze, I have not drank in about a month. What is wrong with me? Should I see a therapist? I miss bud mud in the AM. I might have to go out later and buy some beers. |
| _________________________________________ [Mar 17,2008 11:27pm - kevinthesprigg ""] DestroyYouAlot said: KevintheSprigg said:I used to hate shitting at work...until a few months ago when I brought in a full size door poster of Manowar (Into Glory Ride era...complete with loincloths) and hung it on the wall in front of the toilet. Shitting is a much more enjoyable experience when you can just sit and gaze at their mighty plastic swords and cocoa buttered muscles. That rules so hard. I presented it to my coworkers as my christmas gift to them. At first they were distraught but they grew to love it...after all, who can deny the bulging biceps and junk of Joey Demaio? |
| _________________________________________ [Mar 17,2008 11:37pm - DestroyYouAlot ""] I just broke off a mean monkey tail at home... just not the same sense of accomplishment I get from deucing at work, though. |
| _________________________________________ [Mar 17,2008 11:44pm - brad weymouth ""] collecting unemployment checks rules, but leaving a nasty dump at the many colleges in Boston whose copiers i used to fix was very satisfying, i miss it. |
| _________________________________________ [Mar 18,2008 12:12am - DestroyYouAlot ""] brad%20weymouth said:collecting unemployment checks rules, but leaving a nasty dump at the many colleges in Boston whose copiers i used to fix was very satisfying, i miss it. There will be other dumps, my son. |
| _________________________________________ [Mar 18,2008 12:15am - brad weymouth ""] DestroyYouAlot said: brad%20weymouth said:collecting unemployment checks rules, but leaving a nasty dump at the many colleges in Boston whose copiers i used to fix was very satisfying, i miss it. There will be other dumps, my son. thank you Jeebus:NEWHORNS: |
| ______________________________________ [Mar 31,2008 8:49am - the_reverend ""] it's like I just walked into rush hour here are grandcentral station. nothing worse than having to walk around someone coming out of a stall knowing that they pre-warmed the seat for you. |
| ______________________________________ [Mar 31,2008 9:47am - ellesarusrex ""] i work a couple days a week in a salon in hanover renting a chair.. basically this allows me ot have zero responsibiltiy other than hair... about a week or so ago i was stuck behind my hcaier for 3 hours straight and felt like my insides were going to erupt a blast of urine like a time bomb.. when i finally had the chance i ran to the bathroom with a quickness.... low and behold there was a massive quantity of tp in the hole.. fucking christ! so i flush.. not thinking.. the water starts rushing the the surface as if it were pouring from a faucet.. i dont even know where a plunger is so i get the assistant.. she comes in and starts to do her thing... but unaware to the naked eye there was a little suprise awaiting her underneath the wet blankets of tp. apparently one of pur clients shit out the redwood forest and failed to ask for a plunger when she realized the timber was too tall to budge. soooooooooooo marybeth the 45 yr old shampoo assistant and mother of two decides shes never seen a duty before in her life that didnt belong to her and projectile vomits into the bowl... causing just enough liquid to over flow this soupy delight onto the floor.. i am in the doorway witnessing the incredible horror scene and laughing with such intensity that pee was just about to squeeze into my panties. i use the men rooms which is much cleaner anyways because the only one ever in there is a gay ocd man named chris with a purple rat tail. when i came back out to scope the scene.. there was about 8 or so people standing around complaingin about the lady that shit and someone else was cleaning the mess....... after all of this trauma went down.. i noticed a woman sitting in the corner under the hair dryer unaware of the entire esapade... she had to be about 90.. i decided to be a helping hand and combed out her cotton ball coiffure and tell her about what was going on because she seemed curious at this point about the caca congregation.. i clearly sugar coated the whole thing for the ears of a crypt creeper and paying client... whatev.. so she leaves.. days go by.. blah blah.. hair solution recieves a letter in the mail.. from who? that elderly bitch with the george washington do.. it was an apology for clogging the toilet and not informing anyone due to the sheer embarassment of teh size of her load. HAHAHAHAHAH god you think you'd have no shame by the age of 106.. best poop story i have ever been a part of.. |
| ___________________________________________ [Mar 31,2008 9:51am - FuckIsMySignature ""] thats some funny shit. wow i'm fucking dying after reading that. |
| _______________________________________ [Mar 31,2008 10:15am - ellesarusrex ""] FuckIsMySignature said:thats some funny shit. wow i'm fucking dying after reading that. the entire experience was priceless... i like to imagine this stuff happens often to people. |
| _______________________________ [Mar 31,2008 10:33am - Yeti ""] bahahahahahahahaha that was awesome. |
| ______________________________________ [Apr 24,2008 2:36pm - the_reverend ""] gd... someone just tried to open door policy me. that's bullshit. piss |
| __________________________________________ [Apr 24,2008 2:51pm - corpus_colostomy ""] best idea is to just push as hard as possible in the johns at work. really get that lower GI bumpin' kehd. the joke is on others who are uncomfortable. fuck it mang everyone poops. it like our euro neighbor who consistently wears a speedo at our beach house in hull. no one can deal with his liberated banana hammock steez but he really doesnt sweat it at all. the joke is on everyone else, as they get all red faced and bothered just lookin' at him. aviator shades, slicked back hair, gold chain and the proboscis for the WIN. |
| ______________________________ [Apr 24,2008 3:22pm - Yeti ""] the_reverend said:gd... someone just tried to open door policy me. that's bullshit. piss i am shocked at how many people don't knock. quite often i'll be near the bathroom on the train, and i'd say that 1 out of every 20 people knock. the rest just slowly pull on the handle to see if its locked, and the door doesn't usually lock, so there are many embarrassed faces. |
| ______________________________ [Apr 24,2008 3:22pm - Yeti ""] i've had the door slightly opened on me before, i just kick it really hard so it slams shut again. |
| _______________________________ [Apr 24,2008 3:37pm - aril ""] someone should make a thread called "god do i hate sharting at work" because that's what just happened to me. |
| ________________________________________ [Apr 24,2008 5:09pm - DomesticTerror ""] Last tuesday, right when i got to work, the obese woman with the rank vag that i've ranted about shit herself. and she friggin stayed the whole day too. and of course no one tells me, so i'm walking around yelling "Who stepped in shit?" god i hate unisex bathrooms... |
| _______________________________ [May 9,2008 11:22am - aril ""] anyone else have this sharting problem? non-stop, every day. |
| ______________________________ [May 10,2008 2:17am - sean ""] No way! Couldn't disagree with you more. WHY DO IT FOR FREE AT HOME, WHEN YOU CAN GET PAID TO DO IT AT WORK??? |
| _____________________________________ [Jun 4,2008 9:23am - the_reverend ""] gd... the gguy beside me flushed 5 FUCKING TIMES. once he left another guy went into that stall and flushed 2 more times. the funniest thing is that it was this guy who's 4'11". the guy that came in after him was a stand up wiper too. oh man, thank fully i had a one wipe shit. some good came out of it. |
| ______________________________ [Jun 4,2008 10:38am - Yeti ""] i hate when people feel the need to be vocal about what they are doing. grunting, groaning, straining, and whatever other weird noises they make. if you have to strain that much, you need to eat a bowl of fiber and call a doctor. |
| ______________________________________ [Jun 4,2008 6:06pm - sarahsabotage ""] god long thread! i have no job but im in school and dont attempt to shit there. XD |
| _____________________________________ [Jun 5,2008 2:27pm - the_reverend ""] fuck you aril! i was minding my own business sitting at my desk ttrying to quietly squeeeze out some methane when i had to clench and rush to the john. i caught it in the nick of time. one little push and i would have had undies full of cornpoops. |
| ______________________________ [Jun 5,2008 2:40pm - aril ""] hahaha |
| _____________________________ [Jun 5,2008 3:25pm - Yeti ""] tell your ass to quit shalking. |
| ___________________________________ [Jun 5,2008 4:32pm - DYA / NLI ""] This thread got awesomer. |
| ______________________________ [Jun 6,2008 10:34am - Yeti ""] i do believe i gave birth to the Pringles guy this morning. |
| _______________________________ [Jun 6,2008 10:36am - aril ""] haha... I don't want to know how that would fit out of your anus.. |