I NEED JOE CHRISTIANNI FACTS![views:14804][posts:136]_____________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 3:06pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] DrinkHardThrashHard said:MarkFuckingRichards said:Joe Christianni's porn collection is, in reality, the first 3 seasons of "The Golden Girls," and a bag of old Gummi Bears autographed by Richard Grico of "21 Jump Street" fame. Fuck, that's MY porn collection too. I know. DrinkHardThrashHard is Joe Christianni, who also posts as dreadkill from time to time from different IP addresses to dupe the internet. Joe Christianni volunteered his services to the Suicide Hotline, boasting a 100% efficiency rate of saving lives, responding to suicide contestants with, "Hey, at least you're not me." |
| _____________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 3:09pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Joe Christianni has an All-4-One shrine on the underside of his top-bunk. The shrine is held together by only semen and his love for the mildly successful R&B group. |
| _____________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 3:10pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Joe Christianni is NOT America's Next Top Model. |
| _____________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 3:12pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Joe Christianni is single-handedly responsible for men wearing women's jeans in "the scene." Joe Christianni is responsible for the term "the scene." |
| _____________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 3:14pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] No matter how many times he watches it, Joe Christianni always cries at the end of Disney's remake of "Mighty Joe Young." Joe Christianni sympathizes with the drag queens portrayed in the hit movie "To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything-Julie Newmar." |
| ______________________________ [Oct 26,2006 3:15pm - Yeti ""] you are on fire man |
| ________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 3:16pm - KillerKadoogan ""] Joe Christianni once approached me to discuss our mutual love of DragonBall Z, and upon realizing I had no idea what he was talking about, attempted to kiss me on the mouth. |
| _____________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 3:19pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Joe Christianni advised Adolf Hitler to eradicate the Jewish community from the earth. Joe Christianni is the biggest asshole ever known to man. |
| _____________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 3:23pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Joe Christianni is the sole reason that abortion is legal and that regular checkups for sexually transmitted diseases are readily available at any clinic. Planned Parenthood gave Joe Christianni a charity vasectomy, for they feared his spawn would infest the earth like termites with JNCO jeans and glow-in-the-dark Twiztid tattoos. Joe Christianni is the reason emo kids suck. Joe Christianni found out first hand what they mean by "Everything's Bigger in Texas." He will never walk regularly again. It is so easy to make fun of Joe Christianni that it has become a staple event in the Special Olympics. |
| ________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 3:24pm - KillerKadoogan ""] Joe Christianni is responsible for every god damn pot hole on Route 9, in part due to the tires on his big wheel being made from the bones of obese children, whom he kills and eats to make himself feel big. |
| _____________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 3:25pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] The world-famous "Shit Happens" bumper sticker was originally coined as "Joe Christianni Happens." His name had too many characters to fit effectively on the standard size bumper sticker. "Bumpers" are now installed at every bowling alley in order to avoid Joe Christianni's screaming conniption fits. |
| ______________________________ [Oct 26,2006 3:28pm - Yeti ""] here's the worst one of all: Joe Christianni is Joe Christianni |
| _____________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 3:30pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] The endless war between Israel and Palestine is known to have been caused by a religious dispute, but the real reason is Joe Christianni. Joe Christianni gets goosebumps when he watches "Muppet Babies." The term "baby dick" was inspired by Joe Christianni. Joe Christianni bathes in a kiddy pool filled with unsweetened Jell-O. He is not wasteful, so he consumes the Jell-O after every bathing session. He is also generous, so he shares with his collection of rubber duckies. |
| ________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 3:30pm - KillerKadoogan ""] Joe Christianni once went to a show at the Middle East ready to "FuCk uPP Sum t0WelHeddZ N shit, dude." |
| ________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 3:31pm - KillerKadoogan ""] Joe Christianni wrote the script for Gigli, and with some improvements, it was greenlighted. |
| _____________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 3:33pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Joe Christianni owns a rainbow onesy. |
| ________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 3:35pm - KillerKadoogan ""] Joe Christianni caught his little brother fucking a pumpkin, and because he is so resourceful, decided to add a hole or 2 and make it "the most br00talzist Jack-o-lantern evarzzz" |
| _____________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 3:35pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Joe Christianni hates when vaginas are referred to as beavers, cooters, punanis, pussies, et al. for he feels it is too impersonal, and women have feelings too. |
| ________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 3:36pm - KillerKadoogan ""] Joe Christianni speaks in internet lingo/abbreviations at all times. |
| _____________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 3:37pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] It has been said that Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer, too bad he never cries. It has also been said that Joe Christianni's tears CAUSE cancer; too bad he can never stop crying. |
| ________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 3:39pm - KillerKadoogan ""] Joe Christianni's favorite cereal was Alphabits (without marshmallows), until they spelled out "FAG" on his spoon, and he sued. Thus, no more Alphabits for anyone, marshmallows or none. |
| _____________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 3:39pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Joe Christianni requested that the national average for penis size be reduced so he could boost his self esteem about having an "innie." |
| ________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 3:42pm - KillerKadoogan ""] Once, for the better part of a week, Joe Christianni referred to himself as "JC", until finally he was hit by one of those G.O.D delivery trucks. Amazingly, he learned his lesson. |
| ________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 3:42pm - KillerKadoogan ""] bahhahahaha "innie" |
| _____________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 3:43pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] KillerKadoogan said:Joe Christianni's favorite cereal was Alphabits (without marshmallows), until they spelled out "FAG" on his spoon, and he sued. Thus, no more Alphabits for anyone, marshmallows or none. hahahahahahaha, i seriously am crying because of how good that is Joe Christianni was given a job at the M & M factory, sorting the candies. He misunderstood, and was soon fired for trying to alphabetize all the M & M's. |
| _____________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 3:45pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Joe Christianni refuses to change out of his Care Bears footsie pajamas on Sunday mornings. |
| ________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 3:45pm - KillerKadoogan ""] Jawshy once told me he had seen Joe Christianni at McDonald's ordering the "filet-o-fish, dudeguydude. You shoulda seen his eyeliner, guy." this is far too much fun considering i have no idea who this kid even is. |
| _____________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 3:48pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Joe Christianni created the term "ROFLMAO," or "Rolling on the floor laughing my ass off," while watching a hilarious episode of the Teletubbies. |
| _____________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 3:50pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] No one really knows Joe Christianni for sure, but everyone is an expert. He is the human equivalent to Big Foot, only not as spectacular or mysterious. |
| ________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 3:50pm - KillerKadoogan ""] In High School, Joe Christianni bragged to his friends (goldfish) about getting an in-school suspension for drawing a picture of that Julia girl from FUSE shitting on his chest. |
| _____________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 3:53pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Joe Christianni was the only one rooting for Papa Shango when voodoo was used to give The Ultimate Warrior appendicitis. Therefore, Joe Christianni was responsible for the downfall of the WWF's greatest wrestler. Now no one will invite Joe Christianni to their birthday party. |
| _____________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 3:56pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] When Joe Christianni saw his little brother's penis as a baby, he exclaimed, "That is one Killer Kadoogan!" |
| _____________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 3:58pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Babies with Spina Bifida have more back-bone than Joe Christianni. |
| _____________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 4:00pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Joe Christianni wants to sux y0us guyz d1ck5 0ff. |
| _____________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 4:02pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] El Nino is actually Spanish for The Joe Christianni. |
| _____________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 4:04pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Joe Christianni has a mangina. |
| ________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 4:25pm - KillerKadoogan ""] Joe Christianni is either directly or indirectly responsible for the deaths of Frank Zappa, Bob Marley, Rodney Dangerfield, Warren Zevon, Link Wray, John Lennon, and Dr. Seuss, among others. |
| ________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 4:26pm - KillerKadoogan ""] Joe Christianni may or may not have been within a few feet of possibly coming close to brushing the shoulder of Liza Minelli's bodyguard's chauffer. |
| ___________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 4:27pm - revymous ""] Joe Christianni always takes his shirt off at concerts. in 2005, when Queen played at the centrum, he took his shirt off 5 days before the show just so he wouldn't forget. |
| _____________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 4:28pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Joe Christianni is responsible for the creation of "The Land Before Time" numbers 2 through 8. He has already started pre-production of 9 through 12. |
| ___________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 4:29pm - revymous ""] Joe Christianni can tap-dance better than christopher walken... in his dreams! |
| _____________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 4:30pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Every New Year's Eve, Joe Christianni makes sure to intently watch the countdown to the Ball drop, in hopes that if he concentrates hard enough, his own balls may drop. |
| _____________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 4:31pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Joe Christianni is on the cheif writing staff at "YM" since he displays the most important features and characteristics of an adolescent girl growing up into teenage years in America. |
| ________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 4:33pm - KillerKadoogan ""] revymous said:Joe Christianni always takes his shirt off at concerts. in 2005, when Queen played at the centrum, he took his shirt off 5 days before the show just so he wouldn't forget. In sharp contrast to this, I heard Joe Christianni buys shirts from the shows just so he can put it on over the shirt he is already wearing to show his support for whatever band he may be seeing. However, this behavior may be reserved for shows at the Worcester Palladium, so he can get his $40 worth and show Scott Lee how much he cares. |
| _____________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 4:33pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Joe Christianni once posed as one with "special needs" so he could enter the Special Olympics and finally be awarded a medal in something. At the end of the games, he was the only one without a medal; not because he really wasn't retarded, but because he was too retarded. |
| ________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 4:34pm - KillerKadoogan ""] Joe Christianni watches "Wild On! E!" for the articles. |
| _____________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 4:35pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Joe Christianni's dad got laid off from the dick factory. |
| ______________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 4:36pm - Anthony nli ""] Joe Christiani was driving the train that killed El Duce. He thought it was the express to Fire Island. |
| _____________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 4:36pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Joe Christianni still believes that OJ didn't do it. |
| _____________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 4:37pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Joe Christianni knows that one Christmas, Santa will finally bring him his very own penis. |